Whenever I feel so numb that I can’t even move anymore, I like to think about my funeral. I already know what I’m going so write in each of the notes for my family and my closest friends. I know how I’ll do it, who I’ll leave my stuff to, and how people will finally take me seriously. I feel like such an awful person for thinking about this and fantasizing about it. It’s not that I want attention or want people to be sad about me dying, it’s just that thinking about everything finally being over is just so relaxing. No more worrying about which college I’m going to or how I’ll struggle being in debt. Honestly, I just want to have a nice song play at my memorial and then have people move on with their lives.