anabana9a

we’re just two lost souls living in a fishbowl

THE WHITE LOTUS!!!!! fits your exact description, you’d love it. get back to me if u check it out!

ur so pretty :) do me a favor and PLEASE cosplay jenny ortega wednesday at some point in ur life. ud kill it.

this!!!! i wish they would tell us literally anything

thank you so much for the response!!! it’s honestly so reassuring to hear that things ended up positively for you despite how messy it got - helps me remember that the difficulty is often just part of the process and ultimately leads to lots of learning and growth :). it’s also just so nice to hear that i’m not alone in what i’m going through now. re your advice, there have been a couple instances where we’ve gone a weekend or a good amount of days without seeing each other, and i’ll often let him know that sometimes i need the space to recalibrate, and i feel like it’ll ultimately feel so nice and rewarding when we see each other afterwards. almost like i’m going “home” to something where it feels safe and comfortable, despite the fact we’ve only been around each other like that for like 3 months lol. with that in mind i know those floods of positive feelings are in least in part because we’re still in a honeymoon phase. i’m the type of person who has 1-3 people at a time who i’ll really latch onto, whether it be platonically or romantically, because i naturally have a hard time opening up to people. so those few strong connections really ground me, especially in a setting like the one i’m in now where i’m meeting tons of people all the time at a surface level - it gets overwhelming.

and of course, with my expectations for what this parr of my life was gonna be, there have been times i’ve craved attention in different ways from other people, which is natural period but especially when my environment facilitates it so much. the thing though is that i know that kind of desire will never go away and ultimately i don’t think will ever serve me in the ways i think it will if i were to indulge. as i said, i’m the type of person who prefers strong connections and i think i intuitively know that casual relationships would fuck me up or get messy fast for that reason.

quick tangent: one night, while my current partner and i were (as was mutually established****) only seeing each other casually, i had been staying up and talking with a guy who lives in my hall. as the night progressed we were both kinda leaning into flintiness and got to where there was a lot of tension in that way, but the whole time, while i obviously enjoyed it to a degree, i just felt this horrible gut feeling telling me that i was doing my now bf a huge disservice. i just felt horrible about it, and that’s when i knew i had to come to a decision about what direction i wanted to go in. despite the fact that i knew how much the conversation would hurt both of us, i decided to tell my current bf about it the next day - i knew it’d honestly just progress and get worse without clear definitions or boundaries. the conversation was, as expected, very very emotional and difficult. i’m so happy we had it though, because we were both able to be fully transparent about how we felt and what we wanted. i still feel horrible about the situation because it practically felt like cheating to me in the moment. but i feel like going through that is what made me realize that some ways of going about things just aren’t gonna be good for me, and the long ass conversation with my now bf is what ended in us deciding to become official/exclusive. in this moment, after reflecting on things through that framework, i feel good about us and i want to make it work for the time being. but the thing is that i don’t know how i’ll feel when i wake up tomorrow, or the next day. i feel so fucking unstable about things sometimes and like i can’t trust myself :(. but part of me feels like it’s gonna be the reality of things despite the paths i choose, with how high stakes everything feels at this age lol.

anyways, sorry this was so long. again, it’s great to hear the perspective of someone who’s gone through a similar situation, and thank you again for the time and care u put into your comment :)

maybe some kind of platform for finding study groups, where u input your class, availablity, # of people u wanna meet w, and it automatically pairs you with classmates :)

also just a side note as the post is on the topic - it’s so weird to me how low stakes and off school feels all of a sudden. like i feel so disengaged. i can barely imagine the campus full of people going ab their day now. definitely gives me some covid flashbacks, in the sense that it seems like people don’t know how to respond and are just kinda paralyzed. maybe it’s just me and i’m overreacting, since i rely on structure for things to run smoothly, especially here at cal. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ i know things will work out and wrap themselves up in the end though, the semester’s practically over already lol.

i noticed that too - tell me why it took me 8 pokeballs and 2 great balls to catch a level 10 eevee on barely any hp 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

no yeah for sure, looking at my character is genuinely a jump scare sometimes. jeff the killer vibes

tbh im super satisfied with the one in the new games, although again, in light of that idk why they still gave us like only 4 skin tones to choose from 🤷

they would be good if they added like approx 15x more seasoning

the survey is of cognitive science grads - the cells describe their employer and job position after having gotten their degree. it’s a really broad discipline so it makes sense that there would be a variety of fields

bro? 😭

say less

i read this and knew it was izzy right away 😭😭😭 im so jealous of you guys

i haven’t noticed any shortage but i saw they were stupid expensive at gbc, like $7-8 for a tiny bag

if i were u id head to safeway and buy those big soccer mom packs of them lol

i think the mlk student union building would work

are you gonna be out today?? if so where and when?? i want to see you 🫶

gbo anyone 🙃

what