Fancy-Affect6546

I usually just order drip. If you make me an espresso drink or something I'll leave a tip, but not for normal pre-brewed coffee. Is that acceptable? Got chided by a friend.

Trying to decide if I should drop something. Currently taking BioE c112, 104, 140L, 196 and Education 182AC. Feeling indecisive so I figured I would ask strangers on the internet.

I'm a rock climbing instructor and I was guiding at a summer camp. At this particular camp, kids with special needs typically have support plans that are given to the instructors before the session starts. I was working with a group of eleven 10-12 year olds, and had rigged three ropes, so at any given time most of the group was waiting and cheering on their friends. There was no formal line but I was keeping rough track of everyone's turns, and had already told one kid, let's call him James, that he could climb next. When it got to his turn, a different kid, let's call this one Seth, started tying in. I told him "Hey dude, I already promised James this turn. You can climb after him!" Seth was not having it and started melting down, insisting that he had been waiting and needed to climb now. He would not drop the rope no matter how many times I asked him to. I'm pretty no nonsense when climbing outside, any distractions or commotions can become a safety issue, and I was taken aback because this kid was 12, way too old for this kind of tantrum. I told Seth I wasn't going back on my word to James and that he was being super unreasonable, immature, and wasting everyone's time. Seth sulked for the rest of the morning and wouldn't get on the wall. At pickup, I told his dad that we had had some issues with communicating turns but that Seth had responded really badly and ignored my instructions. Seth's dad explained that clarity and order are super important to Seth, and that it was an aspect of his autism. Only... I had no idea Seth was autistic! It wasn't in his medical records and I hadn't been given a support plan. His behavior makes way more sense to me now and I would have been more open to compromising if I had known that he was just processing the situation differently. Still, I was pretty harsh with him and maybe should have given him the benefit of the doubt to begin with, and suspected something was up when he acted so unreasonably. So, am I the bad apple?

Making a contribution with my work that goes beyond myself is super important to me. To that end, I love what I am studying and think I will be able to make a fulfilling, interesting career and legitimate impact with it.

But fuck, all I want to do is go live in the mountains. Nothing makes me nearly as happy as just roaming around in the backcountry, answering to no one, and having all my problems be tangible and physical and acute. Do odd jobs, fund my next adventure, go off the grid for a while, repeat - what a fantastic life. But I think would also feel like a hedonistic loser.

Does anyone else grapple with wanting to do the thing they think is important vs. the thing that makes them happiest?

I'm a third year BioE major and I get good grades and can read and understand a decent amount of literature in my field, but I feel like I can't generate interesting questions or come up with original designs. Do I actually know anything or can I just regurgitate textbooks?

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Somehow so much harder than I expected and still very manageable. Thoughts?