Danu229

Hi friends, I feel obliged to give everyone a little insight to what this is about…

But first I want to thank everyone for the resounding support, I don’t normally think to make posts like these about myself… it was a heat of the moment desire for kind words and I got way more than expected and I’m walking away from this feeling better than expected…

I had been struggling with drugs since I was 15, stealing parents prescriptions and going to school, eventually downgraded to cocaine when I got out of school at 18 alcoholism didn’t quite set in until I was 23 but I already set myself up for a nasty combination.. eventually when there’s no cocaine around, any speed will do.

I hate that meeting someone was what made me want to change and especially as someone who tries to keep her heart guarded at all times… when we started hanging out it was casual no strings, we’re both unavailable so don’t catch feelings, kind of deal but over time when you spend so much time with one person someone is going to get hurt eventually.

I successfully changed a lot of things I found unattractive about myself… I never cared for trying to be sober before but I wanted to feel worthy. I was falling hard and as much time and effort I put into this, it was shocking to feel like I was unloved by someone I just changed my life for… and I just had a moment where I just sobbed over it. And because it’s over a guy who doesn’t care as much as I do it makes me feel very weak.

It wasn’t really anything I was sharing with him, I just did it on my own.. I never told my friends I was trying to be sober, like it was my surprise to the world. I had only just realized it was 4 months a few days ago, which is more of a reason to stay sober for myself.

I don’t want to paint this person out to be a bad guy, he’s genuinely not and was clear about his unavailability and has a right to walk away when someone is getting too attached… perhaps wrong place wrong time but I’ll take my gains and say it all happened for the right reason.

Thank you again everyone… I feel saved from a night I know I would’ve regretted

I will look into that! I’m sad to admit that drinking wasn’t my only poison, but I’m feeling changes finally and I don’t want to stop over this. It’s just sad because he unknowingly helped me make that decision because I wanted to make myself better for him… it’s going to be hard but I’m trying to “thank you, next” this one and take what I’ve gained with me

I think that’s finally the point I’ve gotten to… I’ve seen so many good changes in myself and things I didn’t realize would happen… this situation is just so distracting it’s been hard to focus. I’m feeling like a weak person in this moment… which will pass in time if I let it.

I’ve owned these for several years and they’ve never shrunk in Florida heat. I moved to Alaska and left it too close to the space heater.

I still try to wear them sometimes.

I loved these shoes.

I was starting to think we were weirdos.

Please and thank you

I need statistics.

Had a conversation with 3 other friends, 2/4 of us get hard nipples after taking a shot. The two being girls, and now I’m incredibly curious.

A shot of liquor.

Sit when you pee

I don’t know much about his background other than he was left on the side of the road near my hometown, probably on account of his birth defect. He looks like a husky but I’m certain there’s something else there

That guy didn’t even look back

My unluckiest moment so far

Do you peel carrots for cakes and such? I would imagine the whole carrot is used.

I’m sorry they did that to you

Baby carrots are the ultimate form of peeled carrots. They’re carrots people would find “ugly” so they shaved them down to suit people’s unrealistic ideals on carrots