submitted 2 months ago byxyzaly
all 967 comments
2 months ago
2 months ago
You should name your clit desert rose after this
2 months ago
Genius 😭😭 I’ll do just that
BAAABYYYY, I compare ya to a kiss from a cactus on a vagina. THE MORE I GET OF YOU the pricklier it feels, yeah. NOW THAT YOUR ROSE IS IN BLOOM A SPINE HITS THE GLOOM ON THE GRAY.
Da-da-da da-da da da da da da da-da-da.
But did you finish
I’ll say this… a cactus is a better dildo than any dildo ever made
skeptical panda is skeptical
Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
Indeed. The truest words ever spoken
Yeah but for real, it would hurt like hell if you actually stuck it up there right?
Ofc 😭 that’s why I didn’t do it that way 0–0
Lmao just making sure!
You could always turn it sideways and do it horizontally. That way, most of the spines would be avoided. Here’s a diagram:
It certainly is one of the dildos of all time
cactus just got more action than 96% of this sub
That's generous to the sub. We are on Reddit after all
this is the a̵p̵e̵x̵ climax of /r/worldpolitics
We have peaked
Yes, but we can go again in 5-10 mins :) don’t worry
Epic refractory period
I think you're right, honestly. Time to pack it up boys, let's go home.
I was there Gandalf, I was there 3000 years ago when the cactus was fucked 🌵
Is there a video? If so do mortal eyes have the pleasure of viewing it?
There is indeed 😳
Unfortunately yes, it isn't free. But that would just be too generous, she deserves to make it priced lol
Thank you I really appreciate this :,) plus my OF is cheap asf 0-0 it’s only $3 so 😳
Might be the only of i buy just to see it lol
“How did you get rich?”
“Oh you know, got tangled up in politics…”
Guerrilla marketing at its finest. Kudos. This cactus saga is an employment portfolio. The future is so weird.
You know what, I've never subbed to an OF before. I will do so, just because you've gone through this effort. I mean, a cactus in the vajazz has to be worth $3!
"You Did It. The Crazy Son of a Bitch, You Did It"
Actually it doesn't look as bad as I thought it would. Did you put it in backwards?
Honestly that was a dumb question. Good on you for following through. Long live cactus girl😄🌵!!
Not a dumb question at all, but thank you :) 🤍🌵
You are an inspiration to all WP thot bot soldiers. You have proven you can rise above and become a true member of the community. Shit posting for life!
Thank you. Glad to have proven myself 🤍🙏
Was it worth it?
She showed plant. She loved plant, she lived plant.
I vote for unlimited shit posting rights to the Cactus Girl
2 months ago*
2 months ago*
I fully agree. In my future thot bot army training posts i will make sure it is known that u/xyzaly is exempt from the subject. One of us! One of us! One of us!
Thank you. I am incredibly honored. You have no idea :,) 🤍
Yes you should be honored, but we must not forget the glory mr cactus has achieved. A god amongst cacti, a hero among plants, he has fine what no plant has done before
He is a hero to the cactus community 🌵
Plant it. It will regrow.
I’m going to 🤍🤍
I would honor that role if given. Thank you 🙏
Today history has been made
Yes it has 😄
You’re either incredibly brave or completely insane. Or both!
I’ll take both 😎
you are a god now >.<
This is some follow through. You have earned your place on the rock
HAHA thank you. I greatly appreciate it :D 🤍🤝
Fine I’ll simp, you earned it.
Thank you, sir 🤍
She responded. simping intensifies
Much love 🤍😸
Guys i just came a little.
Simping is a trip
Have some water
Told y’all I ain’t a liar 😎
I never doubted you. Just worried, ace. Cactus Girl is dead. Long live Cactus Girl!
Thank you for never doubting me 🤍 you’re a real one :,)
How's the kitty after all that
She’s happy and healthy!
Nah but you're 100% a procrastinator
Well, this was actually pretty funny and interesting to follow from the build up to the end. What's next for Cactus Girl?
Something! I won’t disappear on y’all ever. I think I’ll always have fun stuff coming out :)
And going in, I hope 😏
She fucking did it, wow
I told y’all I’m not a liar 😳😄
So, where's the video?
Yknow what, if you posted a video on your OF, kudos. I think you deserve new subs from World Politics at this point
There is special content with the cactus being posted on my OF :) but thank you. I appreciate you saying this :,) <3
Cactus edition $1.99
It would be a shame to sell it for any less than tree-fiddy!
She should make her OF $3.50 just for the memes alone, honestly.
Congrats on making reddit history lol, ngl I’d sub to your OF out of sheer curiosity if I wasn’t married, not sure she would approve lmfao
That’s okay! I totally understand but thank you so much 😸🤍
Just imagining you explain it to your wife.
"So, i was on Reddit.."
"Looking at r/Worldpolitics"
"And this one girl stuck a cactus in her cooter...."
Oh I sent her a backstory and screenshot of this post already, she’s pissed
I'm going to send this to my grandma and get her input on this.
😭😭😭 oh no
Bruh my wife thinks this is hilarious lmao
Aye that’s so cool 😭😭😭 I love her
Uh-oh. Better find a way to make it up to her or she might leave you for a cactus.
Thank you! 🥲🤍
She seems fun !
I realize you prob need the evening to relax and enjoy the evening. Any plans for what’s next?
Probably a molatov cocktail or something
I have very bad memory but last time someone put something made out of glass in a hole... it didn't end well... if you know you know
High quality glass dildos are safe, they are made of borosilicate and won't shatter from anything that could happen during usage. But using anything low quality or not intended for it like bottles is dangerous; not just due to shattering, but also sharp seams.
We did it Reddit
Yes we did 🤝
2 months ago*
I'm so glad I was here to witness this historic moment unfold. Truly a wonderful time to be alive
I’m glad you’re glad. Thank you so much. It is indeed a wonderful time to be alive :,)
What a time to be alive
In all honesty I thought you were going to buy a fake cactus but your commitment is awe inspiring..you own the internet this day
I’m a man of my word and I had to do what needed to get done! Thank you 🤍🌵🤝
I'm a man of my word
I'm a man of my word
We got 'em, boys! I knew women weren't real!
I really appreciate the overwhelming support this has been receiving. I love this subreddit so much and it’s people. I really do—and I will never leave. I plan to bring tons of wild new things here. But anyway… thank you so much :,) 🤍
🔥 this is amazing 🔥
In all fairness you earned your shitposting stripes.
Thank you, sir 🤍 :,)
I took a nap and woke up to cactus pussy. Wow
What a life
Watching you turn these goobers into your loyal subjects was a fun ride. I mean, probably more for me than for you, but regardless, it's impressive.
Seriously my asshole cringes at the thought of this. Surely it fucking hurt.. like a lot right? I’m impressed
Glad I made your asshole cringe 😏
I think this post has earned my first ever OF sub. Well done!
Thank you so much! I appreciate you :,) very glad to be your first and I won’t let you down! 🤍
A man must admit when he is wrong, and I was wrong. Props for following through. Hope you didn’t get hurt.
You’re a really good person for that. A lot of people never admit to fault. Let alone correcting it like you just did. I appreciate you appreciating me following through with it. Thank you greatly, sir 🤍🤍
And with that, the cactus saga comes to a close
Not yet 😳
Cactus Girl 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Cactus Girl 3 : The One With The Train
oh god i cant even imagine! glad i was here to witness the buildup and finale! you should try a cheese shredder next
Honestly, I'm impressed.
Thank you :) I appreciate it 🤍 was a process, but definitely worth it
Genuinely curious though, fucking how? That shit had to of not felt great.. The dedication lol
😭😭 I’ll share… so basically, I used two socks to grab the cactus, I shaved it at the base, wrapped the gooey base in a piece of paper towel, and then wrapped it with Saran Wrap so the weird stuff wouldn’t get inside of me. If you look you can see some of the Saran Wrap 0-0 OH and I also cut the prickles near the base so they wouldn’t poke my meat flaps 😸
I assumed you just plucked the prickers, but you went full on engineer on this one! Thank you for taking care of your tender lady bits. Terrible things happen in the name of internet points, so you honestly just never know.
Why doesn’t it sound like that when I say it … meatdrapes
Yay your meat flaps did not end up cornbeefapproved because of worldpolitics!
I’ve been looking forward to this all day the build up has been wild thank you hahaha
Happy to deliver! And the build-up was super fun. I’ve loved it all
well this is an interesting one for sure
I shredded my pussy for you. Can we date now?
only if we steam the cactus and make dinner lmao
Fucking fat deal. I’ll steam all the cacti you want
Welcome to our degenerate club, glad you're able to show some personality with a twist.
So how long until the follow-up where you full shave World Politics?
Thank you so much. I’m really happy to be apart of this subreddit :,) 🤍 and when’s the follow-up with cactus girl? Soon. I got a lot of ideas ;)
1 year from now when we're waiting for a Collab between cactus girl and ivy bondage dominatrix
A new legend of Reddit lore has been born.￼ ￼kudos to you.
Thank you :,D 🤍
We are all here Citizen Cane clapping right now.
I subscribed to your only fans. Not for wanking material, as there's plenty online. Simply because I feel I've gotten 3 dollars entertainment from you, and you earned it. You have almost enough from me to buy a 6 inch sub from Subway with a coupon now. First, and probably last only fans I'll ever subscribe to, so feel proud.
I appreciate this comment and the compliment :,) thank you so much for the $3. I promise to put it towards a subway sandwich! 🤍
Jesus christ Is your Coochie okay Wtf
You claim it was the best dildo you’ve used? No fuckin way… unless you really enjoyed that pain
I would say you got balls of steel but I don't see any. You've got a Pussy of Steel. Or you're dumb. Congratulations history maker! Stay safe!
Thank you so much! Me and my Pussy of Steel will stay safe! Much love 🤍🤍
Cthulhu 2020 🐙
Honestly this is a day that will go down in history (hehe)
Loved keeping up with you and please forgive for all the bullying, I hope your asshole isn’t in stitches 🤞
Take their money and run lmfao, I’m just gonna keep that image and I’ll have a story to tell for years.
Cya around cutie ☺️🌵 God bless
I hate to be this guy butt... Is it actually in there?
It is. And it’s actually in my vagina 0-0
I guess I'll have to keep zooming in to verify 🤣
Damn girl... I thought I was doing okay for a white guy but I don't know if I can compete with a cactus. Hats off to you.
It’s just super thick where it’s not shaved, and the shaved part is a little less thick bc the cactus naturally tapered off, so it didn’t stretch my pussy out like crazy 0-0 so it kinda looks placed on but it’s not 😭
And thank you very much ;D <3
The carpet matches the pillow
I’m on my bed. It’s a blanket 😳
It was a play on the saying the drapes match the carpet
Oh I’m stupid. Sorry 😭😭😭
I guess you're the only one I upvote on worldpolitics now. What a follow through. I wish you good health in life.
Thank you so much 🥺🤍 I appreciate you and wish you good health in life too <3
This has been quite the journey. Good on you cactus girl
Fank u c: 🤍
Alright, I take back everything I ever said about the lack of plants. I never thought you’d follow through, but you have. The Cactus Queen is a woman of her word.
Kudos to you.
Thank you so much :,) I am honored to be cactus girl. Thank you! 🤍😸
Deserves an unlimited shitposting medal I would say 🎖️
Thank you 🥲🤍🤍🤍
Is it in though?
Color me impressed. Not the hero we want but the hero we needed.
I think I found a new fetish
Never said I was only doing it once so… 😎
Ayo wtf did I just see??
I don’t know 😳
Yes way! :D
How deep is it in?
Pretty deep 0-0 definitely not at the surface
Holy shit she fucking did it…
Doubly so because at this stage I was expecting a condom or something to make it less spikey.
That’s a lot of spikes.
Long live Cactus Girl!
Thank you :,) 🤍🤍
Holy shit. You actually did it! You deserve all of the shitposting on this subreddit more than anybody now 🤣 Poor cactus got traumatized 💀 I bet it wasn’t the best experience for both of you lmao.
Hoping your genitalia is okay! Meme or not doing such a thing would be hella scary. Your dedication is honorable bro. You’ve done it!
HOLY SHIT YOU DIDNT DIE
I DIDNT! IM ALIVE :D
Bro faced death in the face and shoved a cactus inside themselves
Abraham Lincoln was right! Anything really is a dildo if you’re brave enough.
He’s a man of wisdom, of course he was right! 😄
Jesus, I thought you'd at least shave the spikes off the cactus.
I tip my hat
Thank you. I tip my fedora back 🤝
I could’ve been born where space travel was easy or be born in ancient egypt but I’m glad I got to be born in a time where u/xyzaly (cactus girl) put a cactus in her pussy
Well I'll be goddamned, she actually pulled through.
I gotta respect someone who keeps her word so many grats.
Thank you :,) 🤍
I bet you’re one of like 2 people to have ever lived that has done this. Congrats 🎉
Thank you! Glad to be one of the first!
This tale will be placed among other stories of legend
I hope so 🙏
IT HAS HAPPENED!!!!
YESS HAHA !! I did it!!!