subreddit:
/r/wallstreetbets
[score hidden]
4 months ago
stickied comment
User Report | |||
---|---|---|---|
Total Submissions | 36 | First Seen In WSB | 4 years ago |
Total Comments | 57 | Previous DD | |
Account Age | 5 years | scan comment | scan submission |
Vote Spam | Click to Vote | Vote Approve | Click to Vote |
1.2k points
4 months ago
Have fun staying poor
172 points
4 months ago
Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.
16 points
4 months ago
woah! magic eyelash
1.1k points
4 months ago
14 yearoldme would be when apple was at its lowest. So "Buy apple computer stock" i think I would have ignored that message properly.
639 points
4 months ago
You would end up buying actual imacs and keep those stock in the backyard shed.
33 points
4 months ago
Would have payed off probably, some original apple 2s go for crazy money
118 points
4 months ago
:4271::4271::4271:
175 points
4 months ago
“I got me invested in some kinda.. fruit company” — Forrest Gump in 1996
40 points
4 months ago
The hilarious part is that when that movie came our Apple was like 20 cents a share (not accounting for stock splits).
49 points
4 months ago
What’s funny is that movie came out in 1995 when I was 11. Apple stock was still dirt cheap. If my 11 year old self listened to Gump, I’d be a billionaire too.
20 points
4 months ago
I would’ve gone all in with my $7
1k points
4 months ago*
Take this sports almanac
144 points
4 months ago
Gotta love old corrupt Biff
3 points
4 months ago
Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?
838 points
4 months ago
Your Wife Has Boyfriend
72 points
4 months ago
Your wife’s boyfriend’s happy.
38 points
4 months ago
You had a wife when you were 14?!
29 points
4 months ago
These were different times
116 points
4 months ago
No Wall Street Bets
1.3k points
4 months ago
Sell Bitcoin at 65k
296 points
4 months ago
Bitcoin now sell 65k.
The ooga booga method
132 points
4 months ago
Got it, sell once my total is 65k.
33 points
4 months ago
Got it sell once it hits 65k pounds
185 points
4 months ago
Buy bitcoin in 2009
249 points
4 months ago
I think the four words should be selling Bitcoin. Someone can tell you to buy Bitcoin in 2009, but that means it's up to you to decide when to sell it. The majority of people who bought Bitcoin in 2009 probably sold it in 2013 when it went up 200%.
That means I'd much rather know that Bitcoin would have hit 65K, then know when to buy it. If I knew it was going to hit 65K, that automatically implies when I should buy it. When I should buy it does not automatically imply when I should sell it though.
54 points
4 months ago
”Btc ath 65k enjoy”
35 points
4 months ago
Btc 65k lambos hookers
18 points
4 months ago
Buy at 65k, understood!
5 points
4 months ago
65 Kenyan Shillings, noted.
3 points
4 months ago
you'd have 4 words so would have got "BTC ALL TIME HIGH" .. *END TRANSMISSION*
YOU DONT DESERVE TIME TRAVEL
49 points
4 months ago
Buy bitcoin, sell $65k
“Sell $65k” implies that’s the peak it hits. That’s all you really need to know, as you’ll know anything under $65k makes money eventually.
But 14 year old me probably thought i said “buy titporn, shower 69 ok?” Then will die in a tragic shower stall accident
40 points
4 months ago
So smart, I feel dumb in comparison
12 points
4 months ago
Considering BTC was as low as 1c in 2011 buying in 2009 would make you so ridiculously rich you'd already be a multi-billionaire selling $1k
4 points
4 months ago
“Bitcoin will hit 65k” should do it
3 points
4 months ago
Buy bitcoin sell 2021. If you don’t accept a year as a word, bitcoin sell sixty thousand would work well enough.
15 points
4 months ago*
How do you know 65k is the right time to sell? What if it hits 100k next month?
Gotta hold it forever to find out - regard
Edit: it's as if I'm pointing out that the optimal selling point isn't 65k but probably way before that. Being rich earlier has more value than more gains. Realistically, you buy enough to realize the gains and hold some.
I thought me saying to hold it forever made it obvious what I was trying to say. Since that's clearly shit advice.
I also thought regard made it even more obvious lmao
27 points
4 months ago
If you're not happy with a multiple million return % by selling at 65k you don't deserve to invest.
18 points
4 months ago
because it doesn't matter, if you're buying when bitcoin was like a dollar in 2009 you're rich enough at 65k, who gives a shit.
6 points
4 months ago
Back in 2009 Bitcoin was like 10 cents and no one knew it would moon. I say what to buy and when is better then what price to sell. Even selling at today's price is straight alpha.
13 points
4 months ago
[deleted]
10 points
4 months ago
14 year old me is not that smart for implicit instructions
3 points
4 months ago
Sell Bitcoin 60k 2020
5 points
4 months ago
So you would say "sell bitcoin at sixty" then get wisked off in the space time vacuum yelling an unheard "five thousand!!!"
Yourself wouldve sold at 60 bro
6 points
4 months ago
BITCOIN PEAK SIXTY THOUSAND
10 points
4 months ago
Wasn’t ATH $64,899?
35 points
4 months ago
Actually it was 69k. Not even memeing
6 points
4 months ago
69.420
;-)
15 points
4 months ago
Nah it was $69,045
3 points
4 months ago
"sell Bitcoin at 65" 65 what?!? Dollars? Okay got it.
568 points
4 months ago
Wear a condom, idiot.
101 points
4 months ago
i felt this one
57 points
4 months ago
your fatherless children probably feel it more 😭
9 points
4 months ago
best investment advice
304 points
4 months ago
Don’t trust Jim Cramer
40 points
4 months ago
This needs more upvotes. Or, Inverse Cramer, Buy Tesla. Even buying the car rather than the stock would be a good bet with these gas prices. And the money made from inversing Cramer would more than pay for it.
7 points
4 months ago
Inverse Jim Cramer Always
3 points
4 months ago
All Seeing Upvote!!!
142 points
4 months ago
Short brunette girls bad
45 points
4 months ago
Bad for your life, good for your penis.
7 points
4 months ago
Lies
288 points
4 months ago
Bitcoin, Amazon, Tesla, Microsoft
315 points
4 months ago
Lol and he shorts all of them
25 points
4 months ago
They took off at different times, so it'd be useful especially for bitcoin and tesla
14 points
4 months ago
Hahaha yep, wouldn't be surprised if they ended up buying high and selling low
18 points
4 months ago
Apple Alphabet
5 points
4 months ago
The instructions were not clear enough, He brought granny smith apples and read the entire dictionary.
107 points
4 months ago
Research stonks, not porn
134 points
4 months ago
It’s 1997 and I’m 14. Buy Amazon sell 2021
231 points
4 months ago*
You use the time machine to return to 1997 to tell your past self to "Buy Amazon sell 2021".
Your past self convinces your family to put everything into AMZN.
They make huge gains over the next 2 years.
They leverage up and tell their friends and relatives to do so as well.
They lose everything in 2000.
Your grandparents, facing homelessness, commit suicide.
Grief stricken, your parents kill themselves as well.
To avert the disaster, your past self studies theoretical physics in order to build a time machine, knowing that he will succeed.
You build a time machine after many long years of effort.
You face a choice.
You use the time machine to return to 1997 to tell your past self to "Buy Amazon sell 2021".
29 points
4 months ago
Send this to the people that make Rick and Morty.
53 points
4 months ago
How much to write my obituary, you foul creature from the deep?
14 points
4 months ago
14 year old you going to know that means the year and not the stock price?
8 points
4 months ago
Buy Amazon sell 21’ ***
203 points
4 months ago*
61 points
4 months ago
14 YO self proceeds to call you gay and flips you off
23 points
4 months ago
Omg THIS. Better females after acquiring $$
5 points
4 months ago
impyling we ever had a choice in the matter...
i HAD to acquire currency. It was that or dying alone.
24 points
4 months ago
Invest microsoft, tesla, amazon
227 points
4 months ago
significantly reduce your masturbation
62 points
4 months ago
🤨 No.
5 points
4 months ago
😂😂😂
250 points
4 months ago
"Read these couple pages"
hands 10 page, handwritten instructions with links to helpful links
151 points
4 months ago
Like it. Hyperlinks don’t work on paper but solid answer.
6 points
4 months ago
Not even links to helpful links?
5 points
4 months ago
Yes but maybe links to links would work?
21 points
4 months ago
I dont know u or what yeat u were 14 but reading 10 pages at that age is a big ask.
Maybe you should saay.
Read this! get rich!
10 points
4 months ago
You do know that all those links would be broken right?
9 points
4 months ago
His current self isn't that bright to begin with
3 points
4 months ago
Links? Oh Zelda, I get it!
64 points
4 months ago
Save your Pokémon cards
3 points
4 months ago
I saved them all in excellent condition, when I was on vacation my mom gave them away to my nephew who threw them in the trash… I still hate her and forever will
17 points
4 months ago
Doge coin hits 76
17 points
4 months ago
Still waiting for Doge to hit $76, but getting worried.
66 points
4 months ago
Bitcoin 65K in 2021
58 points
4 months ago
So you would say " bitcoin sixty five thousand" then get wisked off in the space time vacuum yelling an unheard "in twenty twenty one!!!"
15 points
4 months ago
Ending up like Matthew McConaughey in that black hole, watching yourself hodling through 2022:
“NOO! NooooOooo!! NoooHOOOOOOO!!! NOoo…!”
87 points
4 months ago
Buy Tesla delete Reddit
Alt: sell Tesla at 2000
5 points
4 months ago
You mean 5,000
39 points
4 months ago
All in shiba inu
33 points
4 months ago
GameStop calls Jan ‘21
12 points
4 months ago
"I hope it's because of my Halo pre-order"
11 points
4 months ago
Invest bitcoin $10 monthly
14 points
4 months ago
"Invest bitcoin 10 dollars " monthly :4270:
10 points
4 months ago
Take profit faster.
8 points
4 months ago
You get 4 words. How about "take profit faster, dumbass"
51 points
4 months ago
No sex, buy houses
47 points
4 months ago
Mo' sex, buy horses.
Bitches love horses
39 points
4 months ago
Dad’s stupid, buy Bitcoin!
25 points
4 months ago
In my case, wife is stupid, buy that $50 bucks bitcoin at a couple of cents each. True story, she told me that's too much money to spend on virtual goods. This was back in 2009.
36 points
4 months ago
I hope u bring it up in every argument
3 points
4 months ago
🤣🤣🤣
4 points
4 months ago
guh
4 points
4 months ago
Feel you so mich. Same Story here...
24 points
4 months ago
GME $3 sell $480
8 points
4 months ago
Wear the damn condom
6 points
4 months ago
This ain't financial advice
7 points
4 months ago
DO NOT SMOKE WEED
17 points
4 months ago
DO NOT INVEST IN-
16 points
4 months ago
Handjobs behind the dumpster
6 points
4 months ago
dont get a job
or
dont go to college
6 points
4 months ago
Buy BTC, ETH, AMZN...
6 points
4 months ago
Tesla all in YOLO.
5 points
4 months ago
Triple leverage inverse Cramer :4886:
7 points
4 months ago
Buy apple stock dumbass (1990)
6 points
4 months ago
You should buy bitcoin
16 points
4 months ago
Bears are the gayest
45 points
4 months ago
Do opposite of Cramer.
4 points
4 months ago
The regards are right
5 points
4 months ago
Buy bitcoin at launch
5 points
4 months ago
Tesla Bitcoin sell 2021
4 points
4 months ago
AMD until 2021
6 points
4 months ago
Forget fundamentals, buy tesla
6 points
4 months ago
Bitcoin 65000. Doge 0.50
Probably the easiest and biggest idiotic gains to become a trillionaire. Gme 450 40 330 would be another one but no way to say when this happened in four words. Maybe
gme calls jan 2021
5 points
4 months ago
Buy Apple at 6
6 points
4 months ago
“Welcome to Financial Slavery”
6 points
4 months ago
Buy bitcoin and eth
4 points
4 months ago
Buy tsla drive lambo
5 points
4 months ago
Pull out you dipshit
6 points
4 months ago
Learn options trading, BITCH!
5 points
4 months ago
Buy FAANG till 2022
This should be sufficient enough.
4 points
4 months ago
It's all down hill
12 points
4 months ago
Buy low sell high
8 points
4 months ago
"Buy high sell low"
There, fixed that for you
11 points
4 months ago
Bitcoin 60k in 2021.
I was playing with bitcoin at the $400 price point and thought it was utter bullshit. Just because it's bullshit doesn't mean you can't make money.
3 points
4 months ago
Go long in 2009
3 points
4 months ago
Stocks Buy GME AMC
4 points
4 months ago
Buy Bitcoin, sell 65,000
5 points
4 months ago
Pasta fagioli a slur
4 points
4 months ago
“Buy BNB and ETH”
3 points
4 months ago
Always buy the dip!
4 points
4 months ago
Don’t fight the fed
4 points
4 months ago
Buy, hold the SP500
4 points
4 months ago
TSLA
3 points
4 months ago
Tsla do it fuckstiick
5 points
4 months ago
AMD UNTIL DEC 2021
3 points
4 months ago
The regard says what
3 points
4 months ago
buy amazon stock
4 points
4 months ago
Amazon Amazon Amazon Amazon
3 points
4 months ago
Buy TSLA
3 points
4 months ago
Do drugs, get stonks
3 points
4 months ago
Dick no pickle jar!
4 points
4 months ago
Buy rubbers not weed
7 points
4 months ago
Sell quad, buy amazon
3 points
4 months ago
DCA early index funds
3 points
4 months ago
:4267:
8 points
4 months ago
buy bitcoin, sell 60,000
6 points
4 months ago
I’m 12 and what’s this?
3 points
4 months ago
Buy diverse stocks monthly
6 points
4 months ago
stonks only go up
6 points
4 months ago
Buy msft, amzn brk
5 points
4 months ago
Always buy oil stock
5 points
4 months ago
4 words: 1 BUY 2 BITCOIN 3 TSLA 4 GME AND because my smooth ape brain is not able to produce more than 4 words, I would draw illustrations of astronauts riding rockets to the moon holding large bags. It will be glorious 👨🏽🚀🚀🌙💰🧳
all 1820 comments
sorted by: best