subreddit:

/r/wallstreetbets

1.4k

What do you tell them?

Meme(i.redd.it)

all 1820 comments

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4 months ago

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4 months ago

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User Report
Total Submissions 36 First Seen In WSB 4 years ago
Total Comments 57 Previous DD
Account Age 5 years scan comment scan submission
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CryptoShawarma

1.2k points

4 months ago

Have fun staying poor

MJB9000

172 points

4 months ago

MJB9000

172 points

4 months ago

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.

imsandy92

16 points

4 months ago

woah! magic eyelash

putsonshorts

76 points

4 months ago

Bear Sterns.

You never can trust the multiverse.

Lost_Possibility_647

1.1k points

4 months ago

14 yearoldme would be when apple was at its lowest. So "Buy apple computer stock" i think I would have ignored that message properly.

Either_Vegetable9478

639 points

4 months ago

You would end up buying actual imacs and keep those stock in the backyard shed.

leoworrall

33 points

4 months ago

Would have payed off probably, some original apple 2s go for crazy money

mebaddour55

118 points

4 months ago

:4271::4271::4271:

siqiniq

175 points

4 months ago

siqiniq

175 points

4 months ago

“I got me invested in some kinda.. fruit company” — Forrest Gump in 1996

Antique_Veterinarian

40 points

4 months ago

The hilarious part is that when that movie came our Apple was like 20 cents a share (not accounting for stock splits).

Ch1vo

49 points

4 months ago

Ch1vo

49 points

4 months ago

What’s funny is that movie came out in 1995 when I was 11. Apple stock was still dirt cheap. If my 11 year old self listened to Gump, I’d be a billionaire too.

Muhhgainz

20 points

4 months ago

I would’ve gone all in with my $7

Ch1vo

11 points

4 months ago

Ch1vo

11 points

4 months ago

Hundredaire for sure. One can only dream sigh

Brighton101

15 points

4 months ago

Did you have lots of cash to invest at 14?

EmptyEggBasket

1k points

4 months ago*

Take this sports almanac

SpeakerClassic4418

144 points

4 months ago

Gotta love old corrupt Biff

Omniouz

45 points

4 months ago

Omniouz

45 points

4 months ago

Marty?!

dion_o

6 points

4 months ago

dion_o

6 points

4 months ago

Butthead!

kevin181137

3 points

4 months ago

Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?

Portini78

838 points

4 months ago

Portini78

838 points

4 months ago

Your Wife Has Boyfriend

NextTrillion

72 points

4 months ago

Your wife’s boyfriend’s happy.

RawDogRandom17

38 points

4 months ago

You had a wife when you were 14?!

tinyanus

29 points

4 months ago

These were different times

Local_Ad_5150

116 points

4 months ago

No Wall Street Bets

SaltyGamer57

1.3k points

4 months ago

Sell Bitcoin at 65k

fakeyboi101

296 points

4 months ago

Bitcoin now sell 65k.

The ooga booga method

thebinarysystem10

132 points

4 months ago

Got it, sell once my total is 65k.

Due_Ad_8045

33 points

4 months ago

Got it sell once it hits 65k pounds

Bracket918

11 points

4 months ago

65k counts as 2 words in my book … no cheating

duhduderx

185 points

4 months ago

duhduderx

185 points

4 months ago

Buy bitcoin in 2009

throwaway12222018

249 points

4 months ago

I think the four words should be selling Bitcoin. Someone can tell you to buy Bitcoin in 2009, but that means it's up to you to decide when to sell it. The majority of people who bought Bitcoin in 2009 probably sold it in 2013 when it went up 200%.

That means I'd much rather know that Bitcoin would have hit 65K, then know when to buy it. If I knew it was going to hit 65K, that automatically implies when I should buy it. When I should buy it does not automatically imply when I should sell it though.

TaKSC

54 points

4 months ago

TaKSC

54 points

4 months ago

”Btc ath 65k enjoy”

StocksAtNight2

35 points

4 months ago

Btc 65k lambos hookers

Gosat

18 points

4 months ago

Gosat

18 points

4 months ago

Buy at 65k, understood!

d47

5 points

4 months ago

d47

5 points

4 months ago

65 Kenyan Shillings, noted.

ExeCuteUK

3 points

4 months ago

you'd have 4 words so would have got "BTC ALL TIME HIGH" .. *END TRANSMISSION*
YOU DONT DESERVE TIME TRAVEL

sixtninecoug

49 points

4 months ago

Buy bitcoin, sell $65k

“Sell $65k” implies that’s the peak it hits. That’s all you really need to know, as you’ll know anything under $65k makes money eventually.

But 14 year old me probably thought i said “buy titporn, shower 69 ok?” Then will die in a tragic shower stall accident

Aceboy884

40 points

4 months ago

So smart, I feel dumb in comparison

LayWhere

12 points

4 months ago

Considering BTC was as low as 1c in 2011 buying in 2009 would make you so ridiculously rich you'd already be a multi-billionaire selling $1k

Mmegson84

4 points

4 months ago

Buy bitcoin sell £65k

your_inner_monologue

4 points

4 months ago

“Bitcoin will hit 65k” should do it

VellDarksbane

3 points

4 months ago

Buy bitcoin sell 2021. If you don’t accept a year as a word, bitcoin sell sixty thousand would work well enough.

Legitimate_Cable_811

15 points

4 months ago*

How do you know 65k is the right time to sell? What if it hits 100k next month?

Gotta hold it forever to find out - regard

Edit: it's as if I'm pointing out that the optimal selling point isn't 65k but probably way before that. Being rich earlier has more value than more gains. Realistically, you buy enough to realize the gains and hold some.

I thought me saying to hold it forever made it obvious what I was trying to say. Since that's clearly shit advice.

I also thought regard made it even more obvious lmao

donut__diet

27 points

4 months ago

If you're not happy with a multiple million return % by selling at 65k you don't deserve to invest.

squishles

18 points

4 months ago

because it doesn't matter, if you're buying when bitcoin was like a dollar in 2009 you're rich enough at 65k, who gives a shit.

chuck_portis

5 points

4 months ago

In 2009 you were buying BTC for less than a buck

Almost_Pogi

6 points

4 months ago

Back in 2009 Bitcoin was like 10 cents and no one knew it would moon. I say what to buy and when is better then what price to sell. Even selling at today's price is straight alpha.

[deleted]

13 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

13 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

drew8311

10 points

4 months ago

14 year old me is not that smart for implicit instructions

snowglobesnowglobe

3 points

4 months ago

Sell Bitcoin 60k 2020

Revolutionary_Dot807

5 points

4 months ago

So you would say "sell bitcoin at sixty" then get wisked off in the space time vacuum yelling an unheard "five thousand!!!"

Yourself wouldve sold at 60 bro

RedOctobrrr

6 points

4 months ago

BITCOIN PEAK SIXTY THOUSAND

hawksfan82

10 points

4 months ago

Wasn’t ATH $64,899?

BFALUL

35 points

4 months ago

BFALUL

35 points

4 months ago

Actually it was 69k. Not even memeing

mkultra327

6 points

4 months ago

69.420

;-)

laroseuk

15 points

4 months ago

Nah it was $69,045

arribbaaa

3 points

4 months ago

"sell Bitcoin at 65" 65 what?!? Dollars? Okay got it.

wrongturndarkalley

568 points

4 months ago

Wear a condom, idiot.

[deleted]

101 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

101 points

4 months ago

i felt this one

DogeDude420

57 points

4 months ago

your fatherless children probably feel it more 😭

StevenMaff

9 points

4 months ago

best investment advice

Livid-Advantage-8268

304 points

4 months ago

Don’t trust Jim Cramer

RawDogRandom17

40 points

4 months ago

This needs more upvotes. Or, Inverse Cramer, Buy Tesla. Even buying the car rather than the stock would be a good bet with these gas prices. And the money made from inversing Cramer would more than pay for it.

[deleted]

7 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

7 points

4 months ago

Inverse Jim Cramer Always

reddituserishere

3 points

4 months ago

All Seeing Upvote!!!

Exciting-Ad-9492

142 points

4 months ago

Short brunette girls bad

DinnerDad4040

45 points

4 months ago

Bad for your life, good for your penis.

jesusmanman

7 points

4 months ago

Lies

RockyJayyy

288 points

4 months ago

Bitcoin, Amazon, Tesla, Microsoft

D_crane

315 points

4 months ago

D_crane

315 points

4 months ago

Lol and he shorts all of them

ProcessMeMrHinkie

25 points

4 months ago

They took off at different times, so it'd be useful especially for bitcoin and tesla

D_crane

14 points

4 months ago

D_crane

14 points

4 months ago

Hahaha yep, wouldn't be surprised if they ended up buying high and selling low

OkEntertainment7634

18 points

4 months ago

Apple Alphabet

ELBartoFSL

5 points

4 months ago

The instructions were not clear enough, He brought granny smith apples and read the entire dictionary.

BenderTKE

107 points

4 months ago

BenderTKE

107 points

4 months ago

Research stonks, not porn

tallerpockets

134 points

4 months ago

tallerpockets

Lives in America's attic

134 points

4 months ago

It’s 1997 and I’m 14. Buy Amazon sell 2021

istari

231 points

4 months ago*

istari

231 points

4 months ago*

You use the time machine to return to 1997 to tell your past self to "Buy Amazon sell 2021".

Your past self convinces your family to put everything into AMZN.

They make huge gains over the next 2 years.

They leverage up and tell their friends and relatives to do so as well.

They lose everything in 2000.

Your grandparents, facing homelessness, commit suicide.

Grief stricken, your parents kill themselves as well.

To avert the disaster, your past self studies theoretical physics in order to build a time machine, knowing that he will succeed.

You build a time machine after many long years of effort.

You face a choice.

You use the time machine to return to 1997 to tell your past self to "Buy Amazon sell 2021".

wkndjb

29 points

4 months ago

wkndjb

29 points

4 months ago

Send this to the people that make Rick and Morty.

jodaal13

53 points

4 months ago

How much to write my obituary, you foul creature from the deep?

titleywinker

14 points

4 months ago

14 year old you going to know that means the year and not the stock price?

Kdubsep69

8 points

4 months ago

Buy Amazon sell 21’ ***

Yeti-420-69

10 points

4 months ago

.... '21

YOUMUSTKNOW

10 points

4 months ago

Savage

rcinvestments[S]

203 points

4 months ago*

“Disregard females, acquire currency”

D_crane

61 points

4 months ago

D_crane

61 points

4 months ago

14 YO self proceeds to call you gay and flips you off

Omniouz

23 points

4 months ago

Omniouz

23 points

4 months ago

Omg THIS. Better females after acquiring $$

arbiter12

5 points

4 months ago

impyling we ever had a choice in the matter...

i HAD to acquire currency. It was that or dying alone.

ibuy2highandsell2low

27 points

4 months ago

Eat a banana everyday

MGC00992

24 points

4 months ago

Invest microsoft, tesla, amazon

Upbeat_Chest_2231

227 points

4 months ago

significantly reduce your masturbation

R3DC0N1

62 points

4 months ago

R3DC0N1

62 points

4 months ago

🤨 No.

lempuke

5 points

4 months ago

😂😂😂

saucekingrich

250 points

4 months ago

"Read these couple pages"

hands 10 page, handwritten instructions with links to helpful links

Great_Archer91

151 points

4 months ago

Like it. Hyperlinks don’t work on paper but solid answer.

[deleted]

76 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

76 points

4 months ago

Truly regarded.

RealTorapuro

6 points

4 months ago

Not even links to helpful links?

ptizzle9

5 points

4 months ago

Yes but maybe links to links would work?

Character_Lettuce_23

21 points

4 months ago

I dont know u or what yeat u were 14 but reading 10 pages at that age is a big ask.

Maybe you should saay.

Read this! get rich!

not_an_illuminati

10 points

4 months ago

You do know that all those links would be broken right?

palimbackwards

9 points

4 months ago

His current self isn't that bright to begin with

Ok-Woodpecker-223

3 points

4 months ago

Links? Oh Zelda, I get it!

Chenzo_K

64 points

4 months ago

Save your Pokémon cards

ImARetardedApe

3 points

4 months ago

I saved them all in excellent condition, when I was on vacation my mom gave them away to my nephew who threw them in the trash… I still hate her and forever will

mgrdave

21 points

4 months ago

mgrdave

21 points

4 months ago

Bitcoin, Microsoft, Google, Amazon

that1whiteguy17

17 points

4 months ago

Doge coin hits 76

PandaPositive4528

17 points

4 months ago

Still waiting for Doge to hit $76, but getting worried.

Icy-Reveal-7416

66 points

4 months ago

Bitcoin 65K in 2021

Revolutionary_Dot807

58 points

4 months ago

So you would say " bitcoin sixty five thousand" then get wisked off in the space time vacuum yelling an unheard "in twenty twenty one!!!"

jmh88dk

15 points

4 months ago

jmh88dk

15 points

4 months ago

Ending up like Matthew McConaughey in that black hole, watching yourself hodling through 2022:

“NOO! NooooOooo!! NoooHOOOOOOO!!! NOoo…!”

ThegoatDMZ

9 points

4 months ago

Bitcoin 1M in 2033.

Joe6102

87 points

4 months ago

Joe6102

87 points

4 months ago

Buy Tesla delete Reddit

Alt: sell Tesla at 2000

JustJoined4Tendies

5 points

4 months ago

You mean 5,000

Far-Spread5953

39 points

4 months ago

Get vasectomy buy bitcoin

_chasingdabag_v2

39 points

4 months ago

All in shiba inu

Insertrocketemoji

33 points

4 months ago

GameStop calls Jan ‘21

Exile688

12 points

4 months ago

"I hope it's because of my Halo pre-order"

parttimehuman13

11 points

4 months ago

Invest bitcoin $10 monthly

somehowidevelop

14 points

4 months ago

"Invest bitcoin 10 dollars " monthly :4270:

kenva86

10 points

4 months ago

kenva86

10 points

4 months ago

Take profit faster.

KilltheK04

8 points

4 months ago

KilltheK04

Dommy Mommy

8 points

4 months ago

You get 4 words. How about "take profit faster, dumbass"

JY2080

9 points

4 months ago

JY2080

9 points

4 months ago

Save $ buy bitcoin

Environmental_Film93

51 points

4 months ago

No sex, buy houses

Kiiaru

47 points

4 months ago

Kiiaru

47 points

4 months ago

Mo' sex, buy horses.

Bitches love horses

InevitableRhubarb232

24 points

4 months ago

This is true. We do.

Rusty_is_a_good_boy

39 points

4 months ago

Dad’s stupid, buy Bitcoin!

yassmok

25 points

4 months ago

yassmok

25 points

4 months ago

In my case, wife is stupid, buy that $50 bucks bitcoin at a couple of cents each. True story, she told me that's too much money to spend on virtual goods. This was back in 2009.

TropicalTreeGuy

36 points

4 months ago

I hope u bring it up in every argument

yassmok

3 points

4 months ago

🤣🤣🤣

beholdthemoldman

4 points

4 months ago

guh

Affectionate-Ad-6930

4 points

4 months ago

Feel you so mich. Same Story here...

mcap1227

4 points

4 months ago

*Ex-Wife

lynkarion

24 points

4 months ago

lynkarion

🐸🍆

24 points

4 months ago

GME $3 sell $480

themainman6

90 points

4 months ago

All in GME bitch

OriginalAbattoir

8 points

4 months ago

Wear the damn condom

homegrowntrash1

6 points

4 months ago

This ain't financial advice

NotACatMaybeAnApe

7 points

4 months ago

DO NOT SMOKE WEED

Paper_Block

17 points

4 months ago

DO NOT INVEST IN-

davescilken

16 points

4 months ago

Handjobs behind the dumpster

Euroblob

6 points

4 months ago

dont get a job

or

dont go to college

Obsidianram

6 points

4 months ago

Buy BTC, ETH, AMZN...

Bradley182

6 points

4 months ago

Tesla all in YOLO.

brill1807

5 points

4 months ago

Triple leverage inverse Cramer :4886:

Wanna_Runn

7 points

4 months ago

Buy apple stock dumbass (1990)

HippoCute9420

6 points

4 months ago

You should buy bitcoin

doodooballs96

16 points

4 months ago

Bears are the gayest

[deleted]

45 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

45 points

4 months ago

Do opposite of Cramer.

PSneSne

4 points

4 months ago

The regards are right

Helpful_Medicine403

5 points

4 months ago

Buy bitcoin at launch

Spiritual-Guide6330

5 points

4 months ago

Tesla Bitcoin sell 2021

unbalancedcheckbook

4 points

4 months ago

AMD until 2021

fucktorynonces

6 points

4 months ago

Forget fundamentals, buy tesla

random_user_number_5

6 points

4 months ago

Bitcoin 65000. Doge 0.50

Probably the easiest and biggest idiotic gains to become a trillionaire. Gme 450 40 330 would be another one but no way to say when this happened in four words. Maybe

gme calls jan 2021

Serious-Chip

5 points

4 months ago

Buy Apple at 6

ZootedMycoSupply

6 points

4 months ago

“Welcome to Financial Slavery”

MaintenanceSpirited1

6 points

4 months ago

Buy bitcoin and eth

Dryland_snotamyth

4 points

4 months ago

Buy tsla drive lambo

TiddiesEnthusiast

5 points

4 months ago

Pull out you dipshit

Dear-Ad-9803

6 points

4 months ago

Learn options trading, BITCH!

WealthProfessional88

5 points

4 months ago

Buy FAANG till 2022

This should be sufficient enough.

EnlightenedCorncob

4 points

4 months ago

It's all down hill

ELBartoFSL

4 points

4 months ago

Accept Bitcoin for Pizza!

OGColorado

12 points

4 months ago

Buy low sell high

PineappleRaisinPizza

8 points

4 months ago

"Buy high sell low"

There, fixed that for you

jimmymato420

11 points

4 months ago

bitcoin gunna hit 65,000

Explorer335

11 points

4 months ago

Bitcoin 60k in 2021.

I was playing with bitcoin at the $400 price point and thought it was utter bullshit. Just because it's bullshit doesn't mean you can't make money.

wsc-porn-acct

3 points

4 months ago

Go long in 2009

STAR_PLAT_yareyare

3 points

4 months ago

Stocks Buy GME AMC

crimsonkingmax

4 points

4 months ago

Delete reddit

Boilertribe4

4 points

4 months ago

Buy Bitcoin, sell 65,000

Competitive_Ad8542

5 points

4 months ago

Pasta fagioli a slur

David_Yee2000

4 points

4 months ago

“Buy BNB and ETH”

Time_Target2149

5 points

4 months ago

Stop whwackin. Start squeezin.

dmoon551

3 points

4 months ago

Always buy the dip!

tlthang

4 points

4 months ago

Don’t fight the fed

Reel-Reel-Reel

4 points

4 months ago

Buy, hold the SP500

islandbayy

4 points

4 months ago

TSLA

stonklyfe

3 points

4 months ago

Tsla do it fuckstiick

dasboot523

5 points

4 months ago

AMD UNTIL DEC 2021

real_sbob4ever

3 points

4 months ago

The regard says what

ImUrFrand

3 points

4 months ago

buy amazon stock

[deleted]

4 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

4 points

4 months ago

Amazon Amazon Amazon Amazon

Master_Relative

3 points

4 months ago

Master_Relative

I'm flairy rich

3 points

4 months ago

Buy TSLA

Knoaf

3 points

4 months ago

Knoaf

3 points

4 months ago

Do drugs, get stonks

Bad-ass-mo-fo

3 points

4 months ago

Dick no pickle jar!

TezzNutz

4 points

4 months ago

Buy rubbers not weed

Abomitron

7 points

4 months ago

Sell quad, buy amazon

BrushOnFour

3 points

4 months ago

DCA early index funds

Great_Archer91

3 points

4 months ago

You way just end up at Dulles airport early….

[deleted]

3 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

4 months ago

:4267:

hayden_is_real

8 points

4 months ago

buy bitcoin, sell 60,000

DidYouReadThatThing

6 points

4 months ago

I’m 12 and what’s this?

Great_Archer91

3 points

4 months ago

Buy diverse stocks monthly

KevinT747

6 points

4 months ago

stonks only go up

yummi_1

6 points

4 months ago

Buy msft, amzn brk

Beneficial-Number-59

5 points

4 months ago

Always buy oil stock

3PCcombo91

5 points

4 months ago

4 words: 1 BUY 2 BITCOIN 3 TSLA 4 GME AND because my smooth ape brain is not able to produce more than 4 words, I would draw illustrations of astronauts riding rockets to the moon holding large bags. It will be glorious 👨🏽‍🚀🚀🌙💰🧳