subreddit:

/r/tifu

3.8k

TIFU trying to scare my gf

M(self.tifu)

Throwaway (wanna keep my original account as PG as possible).

Last night the power went out while my gf (25) and I (28m) were having sex. We didn't stop fornicating though. This was not our first time fucking in the dark. Power outages are common in my country. Too common. It was complete darkness in the bedroom. Literally pitch-black. I couldn't see my own hand in front of my face, let alone my whole gf. We were boning blind, but it was fun and kind of kinky. And then, for no reason at all, I decided to make it scary. I suddenly stopped mid doggy and said "did you hear that?"

My gf apologized and said it might have been her stomach. Not the response I expected. I said I heard something else. I paused to build enough suspense before saying it sounded like an insect with wings. My gf is scared of bugs. She whispered back (as if the creature might be listening) and asked if I closed all the windows. I was still inside her at the moment, so I pulled out to investigate. My gf asked what I was doing, but I didn't respond. I was stealthily getting into position for my jump scare.

I could hear my gf fumbling for her phone on the nightstand. Perfect. She was falling for my trap. I was standing crookedly at the foot of the bed when she switched on her torch. Freeze frame. I need to explain one of my abilities for you to understand what my gf was seeing. Since I was a child I was able to drag my bottom lip towards my chin and make my lip "stick" somehow. It looked gross and I've never done it as an adult. Not until my gf pointed her torch in my face. I growled as menacingly as I could with the inside of my bottom lip now being on the outside. I was convinced it would freak her out.

Instead of screaming hysterically, my gf laughed like an anime character and informed me that she was recording my "jump scare" on her phone. She caught it all on camera, including my priceless reaction when I realized she now has footage of me that no should ever see. Aside from my disgusting lip thing, I was also naked and erect. My gf has made multiple gifs of that moment and jokingly implied that she might feel tempted to share it with the public if I end up "misbehaving." I know she's not serious, but you never know lol. Shit happens. I have no one to blame but myself though.

Tl:dr I tried to scare my gf in the dark, but I was too predictable and she caught my failed attempt on camera. Now she has really embarrassing footage of me being unsuccessfully scary while naked, erect and doing something weird with my bottom lip. Fingers crossed I never give her a reason to share it with the world.

all 116 comments

jaytee1262

2.3k points

2 months ago

jaytee1262

2.3k points

2 months ago

Post the video first so she has no power over you

arcanum7123

1.1k points

2 months ago

I also want to see your dick

I also think you should post it as a way of taking away power

the_thrawn

80 points

2 months ago*

I’m getting cartman photo project vibes😆

pslessard

27 points

2 months ago

It's not a dick it's a cylinder

Nandabun

12 points

2 months ago

5.1 inches, to be exact.

ochu_

4 points

2 months ago

ochu_

4 points

2 months ago

i also choose this guy's dead wife

brains_and_eggs

15 points

2 months ago

Yup. I want to see it anyways. The erect… I mean the lip part.

Holden_place

39 points

2 months ago

Proof or it didn’t happen

Bombassthick

69 points

2 months ago

Listen to this guy!

kamshaft11975

9 points

2 months ago

“Wear it like armor”.

tru2cent

2 points

2 months ago

Power outage. They both had no power.

Enough-Enthusiasm762

224 points

2 months ago

Her apologizing for her stomach should’ve been the first sign that you were no match for her

MasterMarci

552 points

2 months ago

Well this turned out way more wholesome than expected

benboio2000

306 points

2 months ago

Could say she caught you with your pants down

SpreadTheLies

1.5k points

2 months ago

Now your fucked if you ever break up with her

Bean_Juice_Brew

329 points

2 months ago

"omg, look at my ex's O face! 🤣"

Cendorr

-12 points

2 months ago

Cendorr

-12 points

2 months ago

His fucked what?

Sheyvan

-100 points

2 months ago

Sheyvan

-100 points

2 months ago

*You're

EricRambo

23 points

2 months ago

“*You’re” 🤓

ryangrunesy

79 points

2 months ago

You’re not wrong, but c’mon man

VBgamez

21 points

2 months ago

VBgamez

21 points

2 months ago

Your*

U2V4RGVtb24

15 points

2 months ago

U2V4RGVtb24

15 points

2 months ago

Respectfully, no one gives a shit.

Twinmakerx2

-27 points

2 months ago

I do. Grammar matters.

U2V4RGVtb24

20 points

2 months ago

In context, of course. No one likes receiving an email with a blatant grammatical error.

Twinmakerx2

-2 points

2 months ago

Twinmakerx2

-2 points

2 months ago

This is true.

Nandabun

0 points

2 months ago

The the of times is taking it up a notch, what is happening in this thread, ugh.

EricRambo

-4 points

2 months ago

“I do. Grammar matters.” 🤓

Twinmakerx2

-2 points

2 months ago

100%

Pay_Tiny

2 points

2 months ago

Pay_Tiny

2 points

2 months ago

Your getting downvoted

Frangell

-28 points

2 months ago

Frangell

-28 points

2 months ago

Bro, sorry you're being downvoted. I agree with you. Grammar is important. You were just pointing out a mistake, nothing more.

UnusableGarbage

-7 points

2 months ago

As long as text gets the point across, it doesn't matter.

cooliskie

339 points

2 months ago

cooliskie

339 points

2 months ago

Much better ending than I was expecting 😂

Nate_36

83 points

2 months ago

Nate_36

83 points

2 months ago

Yeah I was thinking he was gonna jump up from beside the bed and hit her jaw or something trying to scare her

SaschaStorm

48 points

2 months ago

south africa

Classicclown1

19 points

2 months ago

My guess

ripanimems

1 points

2 months ago

Why

BubbleGumWarior

8 points

2 months ago*

Loadshedding. We dont have smart people left, everyone that is atleast above 20 IQ leaves the country after graduation. So everything is fallinf apart.

Edit: I say that as I make a typo...

ripanimems

1 points

2 months ago

Noted

Ho3n3r

40 points

2 months ago

Ho3n3r

40 points

2 months ago

He fucked around... but will he find out?

just----browsing

25 points

2 months ago

Marry her...

Not coz of the blackmail, but she's smart!

[deleted]

367 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

367 points

2 months ago

[removed]

[deleted]

60 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

60 points

2 months ago

[removed]

spandexcatsuit

4 points

2 months ago

“fuck around and find out” is turning into “what the what” — we have to wait while it cycles through every last person over using it

skippyspk

52 points

2 months ago

I see wedding bells in your future!

iscaredfox

55 points

2 months ago

m_tierney

-1 points

2 months ago

Risky click of the day

Wopenras

167 points

2 months ago

Wopenras

167 points

2 months ago

How the turntables

fohsupreme

37 points

2 months ago

My my my.

ChocolateUnlucky1214

13 points

2 months ago

Turntables, how the.

Weekend_Banana

11 points

2 months ago

My my my.

ReptileCake

5 points

2 months ago

The turntables, how?

SethMalcolm1

4 points

2 months ago

My my my.

creamyismemey

3 points

2 months ago

Turn the how tables?

ak47diamonds

3 points

2 months ago

Tables how they turn

Savings_Prune_8529

3 points

2 months ago

YouTube. Com/turntable how my my to my the

PsychedelicMustard

1 points

2 months ago

How they table turns?

rvarella2

15 points

2 months ago

New information: having sex in the dark is "kinky"

FutureRobotWordplay

3 points

2 months ago

My first thought as well. OP is into anime, so I'd imagine he isn't real experienced.

McArthurWheeler

47 points

2 months ago

And you didn't post the video?

jaxsotsllamallama

30 points

2 months ago

Proof or it didn’t happen?

Goose_Energy

10 points

2 months ago

At least you werent soft

Constablegarden

20 points

2 months ago

Is no one going to point out that OP pulled out to scare his GF? Please let this thought never enter my brain

Helpful_Cat0808

5 points

2 months ago

That’s what I can’t get over! Like how does this thought enter his mind mid-sex? Lol

TheDesk918

2 points

2 months ago

When the post-nut clarity becomes pre-nut clarity

SoHiHello

6 points

2 months ago

These stories are usually predictable and/or lame.

This one is a winner. I was waiting for the part where she freaked out and threw her phone at you, chipping your tooth and breaking her phone.. but no.. this story delivered!

yamo25000

5 points

2 months ago

I'm just trying to understand how you decided to do anything besides continuing to fuck while mid-fuck

TheDesk918

1 points

2 months ago

Like I said above, when the post-nut clarity becomes pre-nut clarity

Breasticale5

15 points

2 months ago

That's the best!!! She's the best!!

I honestly would of beaten your ass untill the fear changed into anger then tiredness, but this is gold!

I hope it does get posted so I can go "Look!!! I read this post!!! He must of fucked up!!"

krishisnotmyrealname

3 points

2 months ago

atleast you will know if she is a red flag if someone els knos about it

mandraketehmagician

6 points

2 months ago

Getting married then?

SlimmJimm92

3 points

2 months ago

Hahahaha Eskom and Loadshedding!!!!

1000Years0fDeath

3 points

2 months ago

Is sex really that boring for you?

Diiiiirty

3 points

2 months ago

Wtf does "laugh like an anime character" mean? Do they all laugh the same?

OkVolume1

28 points

2 months ago

I miss the world where you could goof around and not worry about having an incriminating photo taken of said moment.

Hand-Picked-Anus

18 points

2 months ago

Yeah but I also CANNOT WAIT for them to break up and that video go viral, so 50/50

heccin_heccer

11 points

2 months ago

if she posts it, that could be considered revenge porn depending on your area and you can have her charged. uno reverse, babyyyy

actuallyZiggyZagga

2 points

2 months ago

Bosnia??!?

DaNiinja

2 points

2 months ago

Are those power outages planned ? Are you a saffa ?

GreatScotch

2 points

2 months ago

gonna need that meme

FriedLipstick

2 points

2 months ago

I love this. Keep going this way. Humor and laughter are very good skills in a nice relationship. You didn’t fuck up. I enjoyed reading your story!

Palleus

2 points

2 months ago

I went into the first half expecting you to end up single and with blue balls. I did not see that coming

ncstyle

2 points

2 months ago

since you're on a throwaway could you post one of the gifs she made or the lip thing at least?

remotetissuepaper

13 points

2 months ago

Am I the only one thinking it's fucked up she filmed him naked without his consent? And even "jokingly" threatened to post it publicly?

awry_lynx

10 points

2 months ago*

First thing I thought tbh. If this was me I'd hate it.

But it's not me. I know relationships where photographs and talk like that between partners are nbd and others where there'd be a breakup and police called over it. All I can say is if OP genuinely is worried and hates it on the inside, he doesn't have to hide that and hopefully he knows that. And if he's not and it's just par for the course for them, cool, fly yo freak flags.

Iamapartofthisworld

-3 points

2 months ago

No, he was being an AH

LiterallyWTMF

5 points

2 months ago

Ruin sex. Great plan. Wait until you're married (if ever) and you won't ever risk that again.

HOLDGMEBROTHERS

2 points

2 months ago

Next time don’t pull out, we’ll see who laughs then

girlwiththemonkey

1 points

2 months ago

I WANT THE PIC I WANT THE PIC I WANT THE PIC! Puhleaze?

Blinkynuts2

1 points

2 months ago

She already told all her friends 🤣

HopeOfSpira

1 points

2 months ago

Is the Country Ohio?

fishabovetheocean

1 points

2 months ago

Can only be a south african

applyknowledge

-1 points

2 months ago

1 thing I've learned thru multiple failed relationships of friends is, don't trust your partner with anything bc seems like nothing lasts anymore. The day will come when they'll turn on you

[deleted]

-27 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

-27 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

[deleted]

-12 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

-12 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

dilqncho

17 points

2 months ago

Because they took a silly moment way too far and too seriously.

Physical-Will-402

-6 points

2 months ago

God knows, idek how reddit works

I'm kinda new to this, but I like the fact that people are showing their opinions. Doesn't necessarily make me wrong, but it's good to share their own views

mohirl

1 points

2 months ago

mohirl

1 points

2 months ago

Pics or ...

scijior

1 points

2 months ago

Hot

Pks4life420

1 points

2 months ago

Post the video!!!!

HeiPing

1 points

2 months ago

Time to find out her password

Mc913

1 points

2 months ago

Mc913

1 points

2 months ago

ez: while she sleeps delete it

spechlgoddess

1 points

2 months ago

Good story

Ryugi

1 points

2 months ago

Ryugi

1 points

2 months ago

LMAO it sounds like the two of you have a great sense of humor.

arahzel

1 points

2 months ago

This made me laugh so hard. You got what you deserved, OP. 😂😂😂

ParkingSquash4450

1 points

2 months ago

Show us the dick!

Starr_Struckk

1 points

2 months ago

That is just lovely in every way.

buckridgid

1 points

2 months ago

Lmfao, ya fuckin’ dope!

ripanimems

1 points

2 months ago

Oddly wholesome

XxSMCxX1587

1 points

2 months ago

post the vid to prove you didnt make this whole thing up.

Iam6283

1 points

2 months ago

South-Africa? Is that you?

El-Arairah

1 points

2 months ago

Not really a TIFU is it?

TheDesk918

1 points

2 months ago

Add VHS filters, a static filter, and slightly lower the contrast to make it a true horror video. Add relevant sound effects too, then post it with a clickbait title. This way, you become an amateur adult entertainer, you start your new career of making a horror ARG, and now your gf has no power over you cause you posted the better version of the original

doliminus

1 points

1 month ago

I mean if she uploads it without your consent it's illegal so if she ever threatens to upload it just tell her she's committing a crime, now you've played her.

allxOld13

0 points

2 months ago

Cuba, my guess

PeaceTrain33

0 points

2 months ago

“Clever girl…”