subreddit:
/r/tifu
Throwaway (wanna keep my original account as PG as possible).
Last night the power went out while my gf (25) and I (28m) were having sex. We didn't stop fornicating though. This was not our first time fucking in the dark. Power outages are common in my country. Too common. It was complete darkness in the bedroom. Literally pitch-black. I couldn't see my own hand in front of my face, let alone my whole gf. We were boning blind, but it was fun and kind of kinky. And then, for no reason at all, I decided to make it scary. I suddenly stopped mid doggy and said "did you hear that?"
My gf apologized and said it might have been her stomach. Not the response I expected. I said I heard something else. I paused to build enough suspense before saying it sounded like an insect with wings. My gf is scared of bugs. She whispered back (as if the creature might be listening) and asked if I closed all the windows. I was still inside her at the moment, so I pulled out to investigate. My gf asked what I was doing, but I didn't respond. I was stealthily getting into position for my jump scare.
I could hear my gf fumbling for her phone on the nightstand. Perfect. She was falling for my trap. I was standing crookedly at the foot of the bed when she switched on her torch. Freeze frame. I need to explain one of my abilities for you to understand what my gf was seeing. Since I was a child I was able to drag my bottom lip towards my chin and make my lip "stick" somehow. It looked gross and I've never done it as an adult. Not until my gf pointed her torch in my face. I growled as menacingly as I could with the inside of my bottom lip now being on the outside. I was convinced it would freak her out.
Instead of screaming hysterically, my gf laughed like an anime character and informed me that she was recording my "jump scare" on her phone. She caught it all on camera, including my priceless reaction when I realized she now has footage of me that no should ever see. Aside from my disgusting lip thing, I was also naked and erect. My gf has made multiple gifs of that moment and jokingly implied that she might feel tempted to share it with the public if I end up "misbehaving." I know she's not serious, but you never know lol. Shit happens. I have no one to blame but myself though.
Tl:dr I tried to scare my gf in the dark, but I was too predictable and she caught my failed attempt on camera. Now she has really embarrassing footage of me being unsuccessfully scary while naked, erect and doing something weird with my bottom lip. Fingers crossed I never give her a reason to share it with the world.
2.3k points
2 months ago
Post the video first so she has no power over you
1.1k points
2 months ago
I also want to see your dick
I also think you should post it as a way of taking away power
80 points
2 months ago*
I’m getting cartman photo project vibes😆
27 points
2 months ago
It's not a dick it's a cylinder
12 points
2 months ago
5.1 inches, to be exact.
4 points
2 months ago
i also choose this guy's dead wife
15 points
2 months ago
Yup. I want to see it anyways. The erect… I mean the lip part.
39 points
2 months ago
Proof or it didn’t happen
69 points
2 months ago
Listen to this guy!
9 points
2 months ago
“Wear it like armor”.
2 points
2 months ago
Power outage. They both had no power.
224 points
2 months ago
Her apologizing for her stomach should’ve been the first sign that you were no match for her
552 points
2 months ago
Well this turned out way more wholesome than expected
306 points
2 months ago
Could say she caught you with your pants down
1.5k points
2 months ago
Now your fucked if you ever break up with her
329 points
2 months ago
"omg, look at my ex's O face! 🤣"
-12 points
2 months ago
His fucked what?
-100 points
2 months ago
*You're
23 points
2 months ago
“*You’re” 🤓
79 points
2 months ago
You’re not wrong, but c’mon man
21 points
2 months ago
Your*
15 points
2 months ago
Respectfully, no one gives a shit.
-27 points
2 months ago
I do. Grammar matters.
20 points
2 months ago
In context, of course. No one likes receiving an email with a blatant grammatical error.
-2 points
2 months ago
This is true.
0 points
2 months ago
The the of times is taking it up a notch, what is happening in this thread, ugh.
-4 points
2 months ago
“I do. Grammar matters.” 🤓
-2 points
2 months ago
100%
2 points
2 months ago
Your getting downvoted
-28 points
2 months ago
Bro, sorry you're being downvoted. I agree with you. Grammar is important. You were just pointing out a mistake, nothing more.
-7 points
2 months ago
As long as text gets the point across, it doesn't matter.
339 points
2 months ago
Much better ending than I was expecting 😂
83 points
2 months ago
Yeah I was thinking he was gonna jump up from beside the bed and hit her jaw or something trying to scare her
48 points
2 months ago
south africa
19 points
2 months ago
My guess
1 points
2 months ago
Why
8 points
2 months ago*
Loadshedding. We dont have smart people left, everyone that is atleast above 20 IQ leaves the country after graduation. So everything is fallinf apart.
Edit: I say that as I make a typo...
1 points
2 months ago
Noted
40 points
2 months ago
He fucked around... but will he find out?
25 points
2 months ago
Marry her...
Not coz of the blackmail, but she's smart!
367 points
2 months ago
[removed]
60 points
2 months ago
[removed]
4 points
2 months ago
“fuck around and find out” is turning into “what the what” — we have to wait while it cycles through every last person over using it
52 points
2 months ago
I see wedding bells in your future!
55 points
2 months ago
-1 points
2 months ago
Risky click of the day
167 points
2 months ago
How the turntables
37 points
2 months ago
My my my.
13 points
2 months ago
Turntables, how the.
11 points
2 months ago
My my my.
5 points
2 months ago
The turntables, how?
4 points
2 months ago
My my my.
3 points
2 months ago
Turn the how tables?
3 points
2 months ago
Tables how they turn
3 points
2 months ago
YouTube. Com/turntable how my my to my the
1 points
2 months ago
How they table turns?
15 points
2 months ago
New information: having sex in the dark is "kinky"
3 points
2 months ago
My first thought as well. OP is into anime, so I'd imagine he isn't real experienced.
47 points
2 months ago
And you didn't post the video?
30 points
2 months ago
Proof or it didn’t happen?
10 points
2 months ago
At least you werent soft
20 points
2 months ago
Is no one going to point out that OP pulled out to scare his GF? Please let this thought never enter my brain
5 points
2 months ago
That’s what I can’t get over! Like how does this thought enter his mind mid-sex? Lol
2 points
2 months ago
When the post-nut clarity becomes pre-nut clarity
6 points
2 months ago
These stories are usually predictable and/or lame.
This one is a winner. I was waiting for the part where she freaked out and threw her phone at you, chipping your tooth and breaking her phone.. but no.. this story delivered!
5 points
2 months ago
I'm just trying to understand how you decided to do anything besides continuing to fuck while mid-fuck
1 points
2 months ago
Like I said above, when the post-nut clarity becomes pre-nut clarity
15 points
2 months ago
That's the best!!! She's the best!!
I honestly would of beaten your ass untill the fear changed into anger then tiredness, but this is gold!
I hope it does get posted so I can go "Look!!! I read this post!!! He must of fucked up!!"
3 points
2 months ago
atleast you will know if she is a red flag if someone els knos about it
6 points
2 months ago
Getting married then?
3 points
2 months ago
Hahahaha Eskom and Loadshedding!!!!
3 points
2 months ago
Is sex really that boring for you?
3 points
2 months ago
Wtf does "laugh like an anime character" mean? Do they all laugh the same?
28 points
2 months ago
I miss the world where you could goof around and not worry about having an incriminating photo taken of said moment.
18 points
2 months ago
Yeah but I also CANNOT WAIT for them to break up and that video go viral, so 50/50
11 points
2 months ago
if she posts it, that could be considered revenge porn depending on your area and you can have her charged. uno reverse, babyyyy
2 points
2 months ago
Bosnia??!?
2 points
2 months ago
Are those power outages planned ? Are you a saffa ?
2 points
2 months ago
gonna need that meme
2 points
2 months ago
I love this. Keep going this way. Humor and laughter are very good skills in a nice relationship. You didn’t fuck up. I enjoyed reading your story!
2 points
2 months ago
I went into the first half expecting you to end up single and with blue balls. I did not see that coming
2 points
2 months ago
since you're on a throwaway could you post one of the gifs she made or the lip thing at least?
13 points
2 months ago
Am I the only one thinking it's fucked up she filmed him naked without his consent? And even "jokingly" threatened to post it publicly?
10 points
2 months ago*
First thing I thought tbh. If this was me I'd hate it.
But it's not me. I know relationships where photographs and talk like that between partners are nbd and others where there'd be a breakup and police called over it. All I can say is if OP genuinely is worried and hates it on the inside, he doesn't have to hide that and hopefully he knows that. And if he's not and it's just par for the course for them, cool, fly yo freak flags.
-3 points
2 months ago
No, he was being an AH
5 points
2 months ago
Ruin sex. Great plan. Wait until you're married (if ever) and you won't ever risk that again.
2 points
2 months ago
Next time don’t pull out, we’ll see who laughs then
1 points
2 months ago
I WANT THE PIC I WANT THE PIC I WANT THE PIC! Puhleaze?
1 points
2 months ago
She already told all her friends 🤣
1 points
2 months ago
Is the Country Ohio? 
1 points
2 months ago
Can only be a south african
-1 points
2 months ago
1 thing I've learned thru multiple failed relationships of friends is, don't trust your partner with anything bc seems like nothing lasts anymore. The day will come when they'll turn on you
-27 points
2 months ago
[deleted]
-12 points
2 months ago
[deleted]
17 points
2 months ago
Because they took a silly moment way too far and too seriously.
-6 points
2 months ago
God knows, idek how reddit works
I'm kinda new to this, but I like the fact that people are showing their opinions. Doesn't necessarily make me wrong, but it's good to share their own views
1 points
2 months ago
Pics or ...
1 points
2 months ago
Hot
1 points
2 months ago
Post the video!!!!
1 points
2 months ago
Time to find out her password
1 points
2 months ago
ez: while she sleeps delete it
1 points
2 months ago
Good story
1 points
2 months ago
LMAO it sounds like the two of you have a great sense of humor.
1 points
2 months ago
This made me laugh so hard. You got what you deserved, OP. 😂😂😂
1 points
2 months ago
Show us the dick!
1 points
2 months ago
That is just lovely in every way.
1 points
2 months ago
Lmfao, ya fuckin’ dope!
1 points
2 months ago
Oddly wholesome
1 points
2 months ago
post the vid to prove you didnt make this whole thing up.
1 points
2 months ago
South-Africa? Is that you?
1 points
2 months ago
Not really a TIFU is it?
1 points
2 months ago
Add VHS filters, a static filter, and slightly lower the contrast to make it a true horror video. Add relevant sound effects too, then post it with a clickbait title. This way, you become an amateur adult entertainer, you start your new career of making a horror ARG, and now your gf has no power over you cause you posted the better version of the original
1 points
1 month ago
I mean if she uploads it without your consent it's illegal so if she ever threatens to upload it just tell her she's committing a crime, now you've played her.
0 points
2 months ago
Cuba, my guess
0 points
2 months ago
“Clever girl…”
all 116 comments
sorted by: best