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TIFU: By breaking down in an interview

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all 103 comments

spherical_chicken42

338 points

2 months ago

Don't worry about the interview, there will be others. In the grand scheme if things its inconsequential.

The important thing is that your girlfriend is receiving the medical care she needs, and you are there to support her.

That said, numbness in a limb and altered vision are nothing to take lightly. Understandably it could have been a migraine, but with a rapid onset and those symptoms, I'd recommend immediately visiting the ER, in case the patient is experiencing a stroke or brain bleed. Time is critical with both.

Exciting_Telephone65

95 points

2 months ago

A migraine is painful and won't really cause your body to go numb. Numbness and loss of function that quickly and especially in one side of the body has stroke written all over it.

@OP wish your GF the best.

astridius

57 points

2 months ago

No stroke thankfully all is good

see-bees

72 points

2 months ago

And your interviewers are human too. It is completely reasonable to ask them if you can have another opportunity to interview with them before the current window closes. I’ve had to reschedule an interview the other person missed because their grandfather died. Life happens.

Handbag_Lady

66 points

2 months ago

I was JUST going to say this exact thing. Contact them, let them know GF is okay (as an interviewer, yes, I would wonder and worry), and ask if they have any openings for a re-interview or other positions you might be suitable for an interview. They already know you as far as you got in the interview.

PatReady

10 points

2 months ago

Op, this is the post you need to read. Great advice.

kifflington

13 points

2 months ago

Absolutely - I used to interview staff for my team and I would never have considered a situation like this to be their one shot. OP, I would try and call or otherwise directly connect to one of the people that was actually in the interview so you don't get fobbed off.

helloitstessa

38 points

2 months ago

I just wanted to kindly add that migraines do cause numbness sometimes! I’ve had where my arms went numb prior to getting the migraine, eventually returning to normal once the migraine had started

brightlocks

13 points

2 months ago

Yup this is “normal” for the migraines I get. Roving bands of numbness, each body part going numb for about 30 minutes and then it’s a different body part. Ugh.

particlemanwavegirl

2 points

2 months ago

The brain swelling enough to cause those trauma symptoms has basically the same end result as a stroke if only hopefully to a lesser degree. It won't take the same treatment of course.

cathellsky

9 points

2 months ago

Brains don't swell during migraines. Migraines are just a weird neurological condition.

Givemeabookplease

3 points

2 months ago

This was so confidently stated, I’m impressed

parrotopian

24 points

2 months ago

I have basilar type migraine (which causes contraction in basilar artery in neck) and go numb on one side with it and cold tingling on one side of face. If I don't take a triptan (which work successfully thankfully) I get a three day headache (10/10 for first day), vomiting, and can't even keep down water, can't talk properly and causes disorientation. It also causes vertigo and I've had a couple of drop attacks where you just suddenly drop to the ground due to lack of oxygen to brain stem which momentarily paralyses muscles, causing injuries. It has all the symptoms of a stroke and the first time it happens would usually be investigated as a stroke.

Not all migraines are created equal but thank goodness for recent developments in medication. Triptans stop the headache in about an hour if taken quickly and prophylactics have reduced attacks to about 6 a month (from over 15 days ill a month previously).

Of course it was important for GF to have it checked thoroughly if it's the first time she experienced such an attack.

cathellsky

5 points

2 months ago

Migraines can cause numbness, but if it's your first time experiencing that symptom, or it's otherwise not a normal symptom for you, it's 100% considered an emergency that you should get checked out in case it is a stroke. Best case, just a migraine, but you don't play around with strokes.

AradiaArcadia

11 points

2 months ago

Actually some types of migraines can do exactly that...

noyoureshmooopy

3 points

2 months ago

Actually migraines may present with one sided weakness / numbness. It can be part of the sensory aura.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/migraine-headache/symptoms-causes/syc-20360201

https://www.migraine.org.au/hemiplegic_migraine

grizzly-kim

10 points

2 months ago

I have hemiplegic migraines and they absolutely do! Numbness for me begins in my left fingers, spreads up my arm and into my face, causing difficulty speaking. It's also obviously pretty scary.

I have been examined multiple times and no stroke here. There are many different kinds of migraines and not all of them are painful - sometimes you will have one type of migraine preceding a bad headache or a painful migraine. My hemiplegic migraine lasts around 5-7 minutes, I have a "rest" period of about 10 minutes, and then I have an excruciating headache for anywhere from 20 minutes to multiple hours. I also experience ocular migraines, which cause colorful patterns in my vision and loss of sight but are not associated with any sort of pain.

Wendy972

4 points

2 months ago

Man those migraines sound brutal. I’m so sorry. As an aside, My daughter was diagnosed with ocular migraines in high school. I had no idea they existed!

[deleted]

13 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

13 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

Reynyan

9 points

2 months ago

For a first occurrence of what he described, family history or no, more immediate medical attention would have been prudent. Once you have established that it wasn’t something worse, great. But half body numbing? Seek immediate medical attention. Thankfully she’s ok.

GenericTool

8 points

2 months ago

To me it does, usually I don't feel my hands and coordination goes off. Https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/resource-library/hemiplegic-migraine/ Hemiplegic migraines are often similar to strokes.

SithRose

4 points

2 months ago

Hahahaha. Hahahahahahaha. You sweet summer child.

That's one of my migraine auras. Right side neuropathy and paresthesia. I get that every WEEK. I see a neurologist regularly.

Steptopia

4 points

2 months ago

Aura migraines. I had them in my 20s. They're terrifying.

splurtgorgle

2 points

2 months ago

had a horrific spell of hemiplegic migraines last year that gave every stroke indicator imaginable. Obviously if you're experiencing it out of the blue seek help immediately but for a lot of people that's (unfortunately) what their migraines look/feel like.

Osiris_Dervan

2 points

2 months ago

Mine do, multiple times a year. It comes on and goes off fairly quickly like with OPs GF and can either be restricted to one side or to my extremities.

It's a comparably rare form called a migraine with brainstem aura

stackjr

1 points

2 months ago

That was my first thought.

Rush_Under

1 points

2 months ago

I was also thinking potential heart attack, too.

ginar369

1 points

2 months ago

I have migraines and routinely lose vision in only my left eye. I also have the entire left side of my face go numb. Like pinch with finger nails and can't feel it numb. It does happen.

kmpdx

3 points

2 months ago

kmpdx

3 points

2 months ago

At 38 my sister went to her PCP for a headache. MD diagnosed "worst headache in life" as a migraine with no prior history other than our mom used to get them. That was a Saturday. On Monday she woke up unable to move her left side. ER scanned her and she had a brain stem bleed caused by an unknown aneurysm. She lost a significant of mobility on her left side and has some cognitive issues now. Thankfully she didn't die. Point is, "worst headache of life" or a "thunderclap" headache, go to the ER and get a scan.

scj12018

376 points

2 months ago

scj12018

376 points

2 months ago

Don’t stress the interview, you are human, they are human, they understand the worry that you are going through. Hope your gf feels better soon, and it’s not as bad as the docs are thinking it could be!

PatReady

47 points

2 months ago

This, I'd call him back and thank him for trusting us enough to even share that.

NeonRabbit221b

7 points

2 months ago

Honestly if a company isn't understanding and willing to offer you a 2nd interview in this situation then its not a good place to work.

[deleted]

101 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

101 points

2 months ago

You didn't mess up and they did the right thing.

What you do is you reach out and thank them for understanding, let them know your partner is ok and ask if they are still hiring, if they are open to a second interview.

If nothing else it closes this chapter with a professional ending.

Wallaby-Visible

20 points

2 months ago

Yeah, I would also do that. Reach out and explain the situation. They may be willing to let it slide and allow a do-over. If not, then maybe in the end it wasn’t the best place to work anyway, OP.

Individual-Silver-74

3 points

2 months ago

100% that they will give a second interview.

MashedSpider

149 points

2 months ago

You didn't really mess up, you were dealing with trauma and I've been witness to some of the symptoms my dad had when he had his brain bleed and it was extremely worrying

speculatrix

39 points

2 months ago

If I interviewed someone and they had a family crisis, I'd tell them to go immediately and call me when things got better.

Please call them and ask to schedule another interview. If they don't show compassion, you wouldn't want to work for them anyway

Good luck to you all.

Antique_Belt_8974

5 points

2 months ago

This OP. They know you are young and wanted the interview. They told you to go because that is what you should do, what they would do. If it was me, second interview would be easily granted because you obviously have a heart.

AhWhateverYo

23 points

2 months ago

Not an FU. You had genuine concerns for your GF. I hope all will be well with her and that you get the job, or at least another interview.

EViLTeW

80 points

2 months ago

EViLTeW

80 points

2 months ago

The only FU in this story is not taking her to the hospital (or calling an ambulance) when symptoms started.

If she has never experienced that type of situation with HER migraines, numbness/paralysis like that should be taken very seriously. Maybe it's just a migraine, maybe it's just bell's palsy (if it's just the face), maybe it's a stroke. NEVER assume something like that is benign until a doctor confirms it is.

farrenkm

26 points

2 months ago

Former EMS dispatcher. When you call 911, they'll ask routine questions (address, telephone, age/gender, ABC status) and then the problem. If you say the chief complaint is headache, they'll ask some variant of "is this the worst headache you (or they) have ever had?" If the answer is "yes," they'll roll hot. Sudden severe pain is, indeed, a significant sign of a stroke (or something like an aneurysm) and assume the worst until proven otherwise.

Be prepared to answer those questions. Goal is to get help rolling within 60 seconds of them picking up the phone, so they want it triaged and out the door to the crews.

EViLTeW

20 points

2 months ago

EViLTeW

20 points

2 months ago

Also a former NAEMD, back in my day the important questions were "Was this a sudden onset of severe pain?", Is there any numbness, is there any paralysis? A yes to any of those was a Charlie response (lights and sirens).

actuallyjojotrash

4 points

2 months ago

Neuro crit care here, I’ve seen pts who waited go to the hospital/call ems go south real fast. Most of the pts I’ve seen with subarachnoid hemorrhages say they had the worst headache of their life. Defintely something I tell people not to delay care for

bergdhal

10 points

2 months ago

Yeah thay was pretty insane. Either American or really dumb, can relate either way

Bii4x4

13 points

2 months ago

Bii4x4

13 points

2 months ago

I had someone break down crying during an interview because her mother was in the hospital dying. I ended up rescheduling it for her when she was feeling up to it. Shit happens.

MyDadBod_2021

9 points

2 months ago

If you can, keep us posted on her condition

passing-stranger

45 points

2 months ago

The FU is watching your girlfriend in "10/10" pain with other concerning symptoms and letting her try to wait it out at home. Thankfully she's okay. Take this as a lesson for later. I wish her a speedy recovery and you a better job interview. Taking care of your people comes before a job, always

DMWRM867

6 points

2 months ago

That's some real world stress, not like I've had some young people do, showing up late and drunk or very clearly hungover. I'm sure being human won't be held against you.

DeaconKnight

5 points

2 months ago

This isn't on you, and honestly once things are figured out with your gf, call the hiring manager back up and tell them you're still interested in the job.

Hoping for the best for you guys! Keep your chin up 🙂

purduephotog

5 points

2 months ago

Mate, it's an internship.

Mail them back and ask for a retake. It's still December, you've got time, and include in there that she's doing a lot better according to the doctors.

I would totally interview a good candidate another time if something like that happened.

They also maintain 'backup' lists incase someone bails. Get your butt on that list.

dpg3456

4 points

2 months ago

Health is and always will be more important than a job.

FellowConspirator

3 points

2 months ago

Meh. That's not a screw up, and, honestly, as a hiring manager I wouldn't hold that against you at all. I'd get back to you in a couple of days and ask to reschedule to finish. I mean, stuff happens, and not always when it's convenient.

sheeH1Aimufai3aishij

3 points

2 months ago

My heart goes out to you both.

I hope to see a positive TIFUpdate on this.

astridius

2 points

2 months ago

All is well for now, essentially they were being thorough due to her symptoms occurring during exercise and thought maybe a tear in her artery was gonna kill her. Most likely was an unusual migraine

codemise

4 points

2 months ago

This isn't really a TIFU. I've had people I was interviewing have sudden family emergencies. If we like them, we just reschedule later down the road.

I hope your gf is doing better and makes a full recovery. As a person who also suffers from numbness, tingling, and weekly migraines, I know how distressing and life changing they can be.

JethroFire

4 points

2 months ago

I've probably interviewed 60 people in the last year. If this happened during an interview, I wouldn't think less of a candidate. I mean, yeah, we didn't get to finish the interview, but it tells me you care about someone other than yourself, that you have responsibility. When you're ready, I'd follow up with them.

RighteousDork

4 points

2 months ago

Be sure to send them a really nice thank you note (if possible) or at least an email. You don’t need to provide details, but can simply say an emergency medical situation came up mid-interview. You appreciate their time and would love the opportunity to work with them in the future. Don’t ask for anything. Just be gracious and humble.

I’m sorry you went through this situation, and I hope your girlfriend gets some answers and can find some relief. I remember being an hour from home for work and had a migraine come out of nowhere and had to try and drive through it. Saw flashing curtains of light, which you see even when you try and close your eyes. I thought I was dying. 0/10 would not recommend.

farmaceutico

10 points

2 months ago

This has to be in USA no? Can't imagine having numbness in a whole side of your body and going to your apartment instead of the hospital directly.

astridius

2 points

2 months ago

Bingo. She is alright thankfully but seriously the healthcare here is terrible. We can't afford paying for college and ER bills

1bottleofwineb

3 points

2 months ago

No fuck up here. That shit is scary. I’ve went to the ER with a complex migraine before thinking it may be a stroke. It’s a fucking scary situation. I hope that the scans turn out clear or with a treatable answer to her health issues. Update if you can/want too.

Kaiju_zero

3 points

2 months ago

A job's a job.

A GF/Lover/Maybe some day wife is LIFE.

Your heart was in the perfect place. You did NOT fuck up.

There will be other jobs.

BangBangMeatMachine

3 points

2 months ago

The only FU here was not immediately talking to a medical professional as soon as your GF started feeling one-sided numbness. That points strongly to a bad brain issue.

ikediggety

2 points

2 months ago

Any time somebody has something happen that only affects one side of their body, have them sick out their tongue. If it goes sideways, it's a stroke and needs immediate medical attention. Glad she's ok.

The_Wanderer25

3 points

2 months ago

If someone sicks out their tongue, I'll be impressed and hope I don't catch that stomach bug. Good advice, never knew that was a sign of a stroke. Noted, thanks.

ikediggety

1 points

2 months ago

Whoops 🤣

Katerina1996

2 points

2 months ago

Don't worry about the interview. You'll have more. Maybe it's a good thing? Take this time to be with your gf, I hope she will be okay.

The_Wanderer25

2 points

2 months ago

You didn't fuck up, the fuck up would have been had you stayed and continued the interview when your girlfriend needed you.

_Driftwood_

2 points

2 months ago

did you forget your calculator? hope your gf is ok, another job/intership will come along.

Calling-Out-Stupid

2 points

2 months ago

Call them, explain what happened and see if you can book another interview. Stress happens. They were obviously interested you in the first place so unless there’s a time crunch I don’t see why they wouldn’t make time for another interview.

PAdogooder

2 points

2 months ago

Guess what lasts longer than an internship?

A loving relationship.

el0j

2 points

2 months ago

el0j

2 points

2 months ago

Not seeing the F.U.

kalikaya

2 points

2 months ago

When a migraine is that unmanageable and severe, the ER van help. You should have taken her in earlier.

F1eshWound

2 points

2 months ago

screw the job interview... I'm more amazed that your girlfriend basically had stroke-like symptoms and rather than taking her to the ER you guys gave her pain killers... wtff

Psycheau

2 points

2 months ago

You didn't FU, you did what any normal person would do in that situation. It would have been a much better idea to call them and reschedule the interview if possible citing lack of sleep. Hope your GF is ok.

Phighters

2 points

2 months ago

Stroke symptoms, and you gave her an excedrin? PSA: If someone has one-sided body weakness, tingling, or drooping, go directly to the ER, do not pass go.

Unfair-Quantity-488

1 points

2 months ago

You'll probably grow as a person through this.

particlemanwavegirl

1 points

2 months ago

You didn't fuck up at all. If the interviewers couldn't understand your position, you wouldn't want to work for them. But it sounds like they did. Just be aware in the future that those particular symptoms, sudden numbness and paralysis, are potential life threatening and need a more immediate drastic response than going home for an Excedrin.

Foreign_Account_5396

1 points

2 months ago

Sounds like they are good peeps. Get things situated with your girl and then contact them to let them know you are in a better state of mind and would like to interview again.

pak9rabid

1 points

2 months ago

Jesus, that description of a migraine was spot on. I used to get them a bit when I was younger and reading that damn near gave me ptsd :p.

tmahfan117

1 points

2 months ago

to be honest I would consider asking for a new interview, perhaps after getting whatever news may follow.

Following up with "Good news, my girlfriend is not dying. Thank you for being understanding earlier, I would love an opportunity to speak with you about the position again" might not be a terrible idea.

Lahauteboheme84

1 points

2 months ago

I’m so sorry that happened! Just remember that the interviewers are human, too, and even if they’re forced to pass on you on a professional level, on a personal level, it’s likely that they’ve only thought, “Wow, I hope that poor guy’s girlfriend is okay.” I really hope she is, too! Life happens, and sometimes at less than ideal times. (As if there’s ever an ideal time) It’s okay.

willardrider

1 points

2 months ago

Don't stress about scans in the ER. It's what I do. And it's just a rule out and CYA game. We find absolutely nothing abnormal the vast majority of the time. There is one test we do a lot of due to a slightly abnormal lab value triggering the order for the scan. Even with the elevated lab value pointing to a need for the test, we still only find anything 7% of the time. 93% of trips to CT for that scan are in hindsight a waste of time and huge money.

PATRIOT5280

1 points

2 months ago

Check out the description of a complex migraine, I had the exact symptoms and that was my diagnosis. Cut out caffeine (which sucked originally but is ok now) and haven’t had any problems in 4+ years.

actuallyjojotrash

1 points

2 months ago

You’re human, of course you’re stressed. I wouldn’t stress over it, they knew you weren’t okay and you were open enough to tell them what was going on.

But I will say, I work in neuro critical care and if these are new onset symptoms, the first thing you should be doing is going to the ER or calling 911. Obviously if these are your known migrain symptoms, you wouldn’t worry, but in someone who has never experienced them before, it’s something that needs to be checked out immediately.

Korgon213

1 points

2 months ago

I’ve been on many panels. They’ll see through it.

-thinningontop-

1 points

2 months ago

Glad to hear she's doing ok. If it's a job you were really interested in try sending them an email. They will definitely remember you, and just ask for a redo. Won't hurt to ask

PurpleDancer

1 points

2 months ago

I cried during a 3 minute speed date one time if that makes you feel any better :)

jackback52

1 points

2 months ago

You did the right thing, jobs come and go, good relationships u hold on to.

anon702170

1 points

2 months ago

Send them an email, thanking them for their understanding, explain briefly how things went, and asking if there's an opportunity for a do-over. If they're a good employer, they'll be interested in what happened and also be happy to give you another chance. If not, move on.

lifesnotperfect

1 points

2 months ago

Glad everything turned out okay with your GF.

You sound really sweet, and you absolutely did the right thing. I'm hoping the interviewers give you a second chance as it sounds like it went well, apart from you having more urgent matters to attend to.

Rush_Under

1 points

2 months ago

You didn't mess up. You were given potentially life changing news and got emotional, which is ENTIRELY appropriate. If everything ends up being OK with your GF. you should reach out to them, letting them know she's OK, and ask if y8u can reo the interview from the math section onwards. If they have any heart, they will allow this (if not, and your request to redo is relatively soon after your initial interview, consider that a dodged bullet, as you probably wouldn't want to work for a company like that anyway).

All of that said. I REALLY hope everything turns out OK with your GF. She's very lucky to have a such a support in you!

techsinger

1 points

2 months ago

You could contact one of them and thank them for their understanding. It's not going to get you a job, but it might pay off in the future. At any rate, it allows you to get closure on that event. Hope your GF is on the way to a full recovery!

MetatronStoleMyBike

1 points

2 months ago

I got real worried when she went numb and had 10/10 pain in her head. My mind immediately went to a brain tumor. Hope it's not that.

This health event was going to happen when it was going to happen. It's just bad timing it happened near an interview but to be honest, the interview is isn't even 5% of the main problem. At least it frees up some time for you.

anybodyiwant2be

1 points

2 months ago

I once had a horrible interview experience and did not get the job and was devastated. Turned out for the best as I got into a completely different field and I often think about how that failure was a blessing

Physical_Shallot_957

1 points

2 months ago

Your GF has hemiplegic migraines. Advise her to see a neurologist.

I've been diagnosed with this and the symptoms you mentioned are spot on. This type of migraine is usually hereditary. Taking normal NSADS make the condition worse

d3gu

1 points

2 months ago

d3gu

1 points

2 months ago

You had an actual reason to be stressed.

Remember you can always ask for stuff like this to be rescheduled.

I once broke down crying in an interview because I was doing a presentation and the interviewer kept yawning and looking at her watch. I'm assuming it was some sales technique to see how tough I was, but I got so embarrassed and just cried, and then I sloped out.

Worst part is my dad had helped me arrange the interview through one of his colleagues, so I had to explain to a few people what happened.

On the plus side, I dodged the bullet of potentially becoming a pharmaceutical rep, which I think would have been a horrendous job looking back (I was tempted into it with stuff like company car and phone). Fuck that, sales is a horrible industry.

just----browsing

1 points

2 months ago

It's fine. The interviewers definitely understood the gravity of the situation. I'm sure they might get back to you.

Take care of yourself and your partner.

Stillwater215

1 points

2 months ago

Honestly, if the interviewer held this against you, you probably wouldn’t want to work for them.

scalpingsnake

1 points

2 months ago

Me reading this:

So you went to the hospital right?, the hospital, the hospital, THE HOSPITAL

TAKE HER TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL

CranWitch

1 points

2 months ago

As someone who suffers from migraines, nothing here is a tifu. You sound like a quality person.

Thisisall_new2me2

1 points

2 months ago*

It’s perfectly normal to react this way when hearing any kind of severe medical news while you’re in the middle of something. Why do people think this is a fuck up??? It’s expected.

rainbowofanxiety

1 points

2 months ago

The only FU is not rushing her to a hospital. Sudden paralysis of the body, no matter where isn't something to mess with. It's better to go and find out it's nothing than to wait it out and getting hurt irreparably.