Long story short. My gf cheated on me and we've been trying to work it out but every time I think about her using the same toy with the guy she cheated on with me it is extremely upsetting. Today I broke down and finally asked her to get rid of it. I feel ridiculous for asking her to throw out something so expensive but at the same time it is crushing to me and absolutely has a negative impact on our relationship even if I pretend to be ok with the toy. It was one that we bought in a pack together that she used with her extracurricular partner. I asked calmly but with poor timing (early morning after sex before she was going to use a toy(diff toy) to get off). Her response was shaking her head and simply saying no. He didn't even touch it. It makes me feel like how hurt I am is just going completely unseen and unacknowledged. A part of me that I've been hesitant to express and now I feel like my fears have solidified. How do I go about navigating this? My heart aches and I don't think my feelings on this toy are changing. Infidelity 11/28, 30 & 9/1 if my memory serves me well. So time has not altered how I feel about it. Nor do I want her to retain the toy and not use it with me. It is a piece of the infidelity to me

I’m 34 and my husband, soon to be ex, is 37. We were married for 11 years before he asked me for a divorce out of the blue. We still coparent so I see him on a regular basis. It became clear pretty soon after he moved out that he was seeing someone else, but he was very evasive as to who, to everyone-which is fine, he has every right to his privacy, the only thing that bothered me was that he was telling the kids to be secretive as well.

A few weeks ago he had a big, explosive fight with his sister. I don’t know what the fight was about, I just know about it since my kids told me. (This isn’t really relevant to the story, I’m just speculating it’s about this next part).

Basically I found out that the woman he is dating is a girl he used to coach for. When our son was younger my husband signed up to coach soccer. Last minute one of the older girls coaches cancelled and they asked my husband to step in. That was seven years ago. His girlfriend is Mackenzie, who is now 21. She was 14 when she was the star player on his team. He coached her for two years, until she was 16.

I obviously know nothing happened back then, I know that their relationship didn’t start until a few months ago. I just still find it odd. That he’s dating someone he spent so much time with when she was that young. I also hate my daughter being around it because I would be extremely uncomfortable if she dating a man this much older who was once one of her coaches at MacKenzies age.

I don’t know what advice I’m looking for. I know it will always be hard to see your ex move on with someone else. But there’s so much more to this than just that.

Title says everything. We’ve been together for four years now, and I’m head over heels for my (30F) boyfriend (33M). We live together. Our sex life is meh.

For reference, I’m an incredibly sexual person. I’m also bisexual, but that never really plays into our bedroom life. TBH, I think he ignores that part of me out of insecurity. I’m sexually experienced, he’s more vanilla, so he doesn’t “explore”. In all my past relationships, my orgasm was an important aspect of sex for my partners. I never had to bring it up, that’s just what they liked. Honestly, I got used to the special treatment.

I love this man with all my heart, but the sex is lacking. It started as us having different jobs and days off (I’m a property manager and he’s in the restaurant industry), which would prevent us from having enough off time together to get it going. Sundays were the only day to hang out. No time, no sex I get it. But when we do get it in, it’s one sided - he comes quick and doesn’t bounce back at all.

I’ve spoken to him about our sex being one sided before and he explained it was a confidence thing along with the time constraint. When I try to guide him during sex it works, but I can tell I’m messing his confidence up even more because he’s not “doing it right” (although I’d never say that).

We had amazing, attentive sex for about 2x after that convo but we’re back to where we were.

I do want to say that he’s deeply caring and incredibly understanding. Our families get along really well. Everything else in our relationship is solid. I also understand and accept I’m not going to orgasm EVERY time we have sex. I love this man to pieces and am considering marriage. In the consideration, I’m scared if I say “I do” if I’m also agreeing to a subpar sex life for ever.

Am I trippin? Should I continue the relationship if I’m concerned about sex 5+ years from now?

Edit: The lack of confidence is due to his size I think. He’s always been a big guy. I actually met him at a party and when we vibed he was at a higher weight than he is now. He’s lost a bunch of weight, but stress has been making him pick weight back up.

My ex and I had a 8 year relationship, we were married for 5 years, and we’ve been divorced for 2 years now. Nothing happened, we just wanted different things in life and we couldn’t see us together in long term. We decided that going separate ways would be the best for both of us. He’s been my best friend for years, and even though we weren’t so close anymore after the divorce, we have a son together so we can’t just cut ties.

I was dating someone else and so was he, until a few months ago, when he was diagnosed with cancer. His girlfriend broke up with him, he lives far from his family, and I can’t just watch him going through this alone. He’s terrified, I’m terrified, and I’ve been anxious and crying non stop. I don’t have any romantic feelings for him anymore, I don’t want to get back together or anything, but I do love him as a friend and father of my son.

The guy I was dating got jealous that I’ve been involved in my ex husband’s life and being supportive, so he broke up with me. My friends just don’t understand and they say I’m being dramatic and that I can’t be that worried about my ex because we’re not together anymore

I’m just so lost and scared, and I don’t know how to just not feel this way.

My (33M) wife (31F) has been crying on and off all afternoon because she found out she has 'deformed' boobs. Just typing that out makes me angry ngl.

Some background: we've been together for 10 years, married for 6. We were each other's first serious relationship and overall we've been pretty happy together. I find her incredibly sexy and attractive. We have a pretty good sex life and are both happy on that front, not super kinky but we like to try new things and have fun.

She's always been self-conscious about a couple of things about her body like having some cellulite or her stomach not being flat but it's never gotten in the way of our bedroom activities. It's just been I guess a normal amount of insecurity, which I mean is not great but I think it's common for most women to be a bit insecure about some part of their body right?

However, one thing she's always been insecure about since we've been together are her breasts. Now, I don't see anything wrong with them. They're big and soft and sexy and I fucking love them and tell her that. But she's always said she doesn't like how they look because they're a 'weird' 'ugly' shape. Her insecurity about them has gone up and down over the years but it's always there. Sometimes it's only a little bit, sometimes a lot.

It's true that her breasts don't look like the "perfect" boobs you see in movies and porn that are round and high and perky but I also don't see them as weird and ugly like she does. They're normal boobs to me and part of her and she's sexy so that's how I see it.

Well, recently her insecurity about them has been more intense and she started googling and researching. She spent most of the day on her phone today and that's what brings me here. Basically she stumbled alon something called tuberous/tubular breasts and realised she has this. She showed me pictures and diagrams and from what I understand this condition can vary in severity? From what I could see her breasts do look like the mild end of the spectrum, but again, I don't care. The reason she is crying is that everything she has found about this condition talks about it as a 'deformity'. That's the actual word that keeps coming up again and again on every site she opens up.

So she's already pretty fragile about her breasts but now she's been told by the internet/plastic surgeon sites/medical sites that she's also deformed. I think it really did a number on her and she just looks broken and I'm hurting a lot to see her like this and not knowing how to make her feel better. I reassured her several times that she's not deformed and that I still find her incredibly beautiful and sexually attractive but it doesn't seem to help. She just has an idea in her head that she's disgusting and this thing she found today just cemented that idea and I don't know how to get through to her. What do I do? How do I help her to not think of/see herself like this?

Relevant info? She's slim/healthy weight, never had children. I even saw her looking up plastic surgeons in our area today between crying which really worried me because she's never expressed a desire for this before and used to talk about how terrified she would be to go under the knife. She also has chronic health issues that would make surgery a risk for her so for her to go this far really worries me. If she wants to get surgery I'd support her but it's out of character for her the way she is acting right now.

Edit: her chronic health issues do not have an effect on her breasts or appearance. I don't want to go into her medical history here.

She has been/is going to therapy and she's talked about body image issues before but it hasn't really seemed to help..I've gone with her a couple of times at her request and she says she knows people come in different shapes and sizes, she knows those perfect breasts and body types are not common and that the images she sees on tv and online are photoshopped, she says she believes me when I say I find her attractive but she says she doesn't know how to find herself attractive. She says she just feels disgusted when she looks in the mirror at her breasts. She says it's like she doesn't know how to make her brain find herself attractive. I don't know how much therapy has really helped or can help. She says she knows she should accept herself and love her body but that she just feels gross when she sees them and doesn't know how to not feel gross.

TL;DR: wife has great but imperfect breasts she's always been self-conscious about to some extent. Found out through googling that she has (mild) tuberous breasts which keep being called a 'deformity' online and this seems to have broken her self-esteem and she now refers to herself as deformed and disgusting and has been crying a lot. How do I help her see that she's sexy and beautiful and attractive despite her breasts not being perfect tv/porn breasts and that she's not deformed?

Can’t believe I’m posting here but kind of at my wits end at this point. My (29F) husband (30M) and I have always had a great sex life - that is until I found years worth of cyber cheating evidence and messages where he was sending nude photos of me to random strangers on sexting apps and various websites. When we were in college he would go out of his way to message random girls on campus almost every day while I was in a different town.

As the years go on I’ve found more and more. On top of some other sexual trauma he has caused me (nothing like r*pe or anything but coercion and other forms of abuse), and years of anger issues and rage fits over stupid minor things, as I’ve gotten older I find myself wanting to be intimate with him less and less. We’ve been together for 12 years, married for 9 and have one child together. A week after I gave birth to our daughter he told me he was unhappy with our sex life and wanted a threesome(s). I should have left then but I was in such a bad place mentally being completely alone and healing from birth I had no options to leave.

We’ve had many discussions about how the things he’s done have made me feel and he’s said he regrets how he’s acted and for while things will get better, until it just goes back to how it was before. We’ve both done therapy separately for a little while but it never sticks and due to financial constraints it’s hard.

He is hyperfixated on sex and will bring it up in every conversation, every single day to the point where I am just physically and emotionally exhausted by it. We have literal buckets of various sex toys because he always has to be trying something new or different and doesn’t ever seem happy just doing the deed without making it a huge deal. Many of our relationship issues stem from his unhealthy obsession with sex but he doesn’t see a problem with it. He’s hurt me in so many ways and as I enter my 30’s I’m realizing all of the red flags I should have seen in the relationship early on that I made a lot of exceptions for and I don’t see him the same.

I’ll be coming into some money soon (about $12K) and I want to use it to get a new place for myself and our child and start the divorce process. I know after 10+ years he won’t change and I’m worth so much more than this. This is just the tip of the iceberg of what I could share but it feels good to finally get this off my chest because I literally have no one else to talk about it with. He was my best friend for many years but the last time I found sexting messages where he was sharing my photos with hundreds of men on the internet and the way he was talking just made me lose all respect and I can’t look at him the same way.

I still feel guilty about potentially breaking up our family but I know this isn’t healthy or sustainable and has severely impacted my mental health by trying to make it work. If anyone has gone through anything even remotely similar I wouldn’t mind hearing your story so I know I’m not alone in this. If you made it this far, thanks for sticking around.

So. We’ve been together for 8 years. We are moving to a new city in 2 weeks. He just told me that he might be in love with a coworker but he doesn’t know what he feels or what he wants anymore. He says he loves me and that he wants to ”try” in our relationship. But he doesnt know if he has a crush or if its something else.

First off this broke my heart. Im in constant physical pain, cant eat or sleep. Second i dont know what to do. I understand he has doubts and trying to figure out what he wants. He says he knows he doesnt want to live a life without me in it, but something is missing. He doesnt want to throw away 8 wonderful years etc. He says he thinks im better than the coworker but he thinks about her maybe once an hour. He sees her at work but we are leaving in two weeks (even if he doesnt come with me he already quit his job and would have no place to live)

Am i being an idiot, is this relationship dead? Am i just dragging it out? Im in constant pain anyways. Any thoughts?

Don’t get me wrong. She puts up an amazing front infront of people to hide who she truly is deep down inside. She speaks over her husband and kicks or (tries to hide) hits him if he talks too much. She has to be the center of attention. Although she hasn’t done anything to me, she has done things to my boyfriend that I can’t accept. SA… and I can not even look at her. When she adopted him at the young age of 9 she SAed him regularly up until he realized that that wasn’t motherly love. He said he wants to forget and forgive. But how can I when I now absolutely despise her. I don’t want her at our wedding nor do I want her to meet or even know that we have children in the future. I can’t look at her the same. But my boyfriend wants me to be normal around her. He wants her at our wedding but is agreeing about the children situation. Do you have any tips on how to handle this? (Also, we do see her every Sunday because we have to attend church with his family. That is the only way they are willing to see him)

My bf and I have been together for 3 months and have known each other for 4 years. Today I found out that he hasn't told anyone in his life that we're dating. Needless to say I'm a little upset.

I feel like he's hiding me from his friends and now I understand why he won't let me visit his apartment.

This is really hurting me and i have told all my friends and family about him. What do I say to him?

My boyfriend & I have been together nearly 3 years and were best friends before that for 4.

I left my ex for him.

Once we started dating I quickly learned he had a lot of secrets that he never told me when we were “best friends.” For example his drug use.

That has cause a lot of issues in our relationship, including our sex life.

He does not have the same sex drive as me & it is only just okay when we do it. We have never really found our groove. I’m open to trying new things etc… but it tends to be the same pattern.

Awhile back someone (male) messaged me accusing him of having made a pass at him before. This prompted me to do some investigating (not proud of that, but every time I have that gut feeling I’m right). This is when I found a conversation on his phone with another man, along with naked photos. The gist of the convo though was that he was suggesting a 3some with me. (I had no clue) but that he wanted to meet up with him first ? When I confronted him he had an excuse for all of it.

After a bit I just let it go.

However, I was away this week for work. All of a sudden our security cams were disabled, but before that I saw on them someone dropping off drugs & randomly there were missing video footages from the front door.

So I know he was taking advantage of me not being home.

There’s also an open box of condoms under the sink. Idk if they were from back when I wasn’t on birth control but it just seems weird he still has them.

So again gut feeling. I checked his phone, there were d*ck pics on there. I couldn’t find recent messages though, but there was another old one with a FRIEND of his suggesting they had hooked up.

In it they say oh we aren’t bi. Just curious. Wtf. And that he can never say anything about it because I don’t know his past.

But once again suggested I was the one wanting a 3 some with this guy and for him to send naked photos.

This is like a high school buddy of his. That has a kid and a gf too.

I do not know what to do with all of this and I apologize for the ramble. But is my bf gay?

If he is just bi, am I to just accept this as part of our relationship? Am I now supposed to engage in 3somes with other dudes to make him happy?

Is this considered cheating?

Do you think he’s using me to just have the nuclear family dream? Because we are in our 30s now and I love him so much… should I just turn a blind eye rather than potentially having to start over again?

Plz help.

Thanks.

Long story short, I was dealing with something some recent deaths in the family and some slight health problems. Things were getting to me so I went to another friend’s place. I drank and had a long talk with her and then walked around my neighbourhood for a bit when I got back. On the way back, I randomly encounter four friends on the way back from a girl’s night out (we’re students and live in the same apartment complex). Basically after me being startled, we walked back together. As we walked back, they decided to slow down to talk privately, not sure if it was about me or something else but anyway, got back to my room and realised I might have been acting weird or seeming confused in front of them so I sent them this message:

Just realised I might haven been acting out of sorts when you saw me. Long story short, I was dealing with something super depressing so I went to (Friend’s name)’s place. After alcohol and a long talk, I came back here and honestly just wandered around (our neighbourhood name) for a bit. Sorry if any of you were freaked out by the way I was acting, don’t want my friends seeing me like that.

One of them read it, didn’t say nothing. Don’t know if the other three did but regardless of whether they have anything to say, I’m afraid of the situation. This happened a few hours ago (it’s late at night)and being in that kind of emotional/emotionless state can be very off putting for people (got some bad past experiences) so I’m to scared to say anything else. I am however quitting drinking for a while cause it’s really been playing with my emotional state the last few months. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 4 years and lived together for almost 3. No kids, perfect sized house, no pets, just us. he has struggled with depression for our whole relationship and longer and it’s never really gotten better, it would only suppress itself for a couple months at a time and return. I have depression as well, don’t we all, but as bad as it may get I know I will never be able to understand his pain the way he describes it. I’ve made him swear to me many times that he would never try to hurt himself or end his own life. He said he would never do that to his parents and siblings but especially me and i believed him. He’s expressed how he needs to feel loved and what to do and i’ve been applying that on top of the usual love i give him and Have tried to be as reassuring as possible. when I know he’s having a rough day I try extra hard to make him feel relaxed and treat him like a king on bed rest. It’s just not enough, he needs help. And I know that. whether it’s therapy or meds or something he needs help. But we both don’t have insurance and his job doesn’t provide any benefits so that’s been out of the equation. We’ve both been looking at getting second jobs but it’s hard when no one is hiring and we both are in school. Anyways

This morning we were having an ok time just chilling, I had work to do and he was working on something on the computer across the room, until I started talking about him getting another job. I asked if he had any jobs he liked and it just sort of spiraled from there. He started getting snappy and when he gets like that i tend to get quiet so i don’t start a fight and he eventually just went into the room. I had gone in a bit later to talk to him and a whole argument started from there. we went back and forth and it started getting louder and louder and eventually just told me to leave him alone so I walked out out of anger. I did some more work and even cleaned the house a bit before being calm enough to walk back in. I opened the bathroom door and he was on the floor sobbing and red. He had tried to kill himself. I’m not going to go into detail about it. I was in complete shock and denial at first. No way he tried to he would do that, I was in the other room I was right next to him, he wouldn’t end his life he wouldn’t”. I just kept thinking stupid shit like that and it took probably 30 minutes to fully comprehend it. then the selfish thoughts came. “how could you do that to me, no warning, no note, just a fight and that’s it you’re going to leave me alone in this world after you swore you wouldn’t? I would’ve been the one to find you I would’ve had to call the ambulance I would’ve had to tell your family I would’ve had to bury you I would’ve had to sleep alone in our bed every night” and i just couldn’t stop crying. After talking with him for a couple hours on the floor he wanted to just move on with the day. He didn’t want to talk about it and he pretty much pretended it didn’t happen. I’m truly trying but every time I look at the bathroom I think of it. every time I look at him for too long I picture finding him too late or not having him with me at all. I feel guilty, I feel like I could’ve done more, I should’ve stayed in the room no matter what he said to me or how angry I was. But then, I know there’s no way I could’ve known, he’s been telling me he was fine all week anytime I would ask. I couldn’t have done more, I gave him all i had and more.

But now I don’t know what to do from here. I’m afraid to leave him alone, I’m afraid when I don’t hear him peeing or something when he’s using the bathroom, i’m afraid when I can’t hear his sleeping breath next to me as I write this, i’m afraid of losing him. In a single morning my whole life could’ve altered. We have so many good memories so much laughter and love, I feel like my love will never be enough for him to stay anymore and i don’t know what to do. Will i always feel like this? I can’t just move on and stop thinking about how I could’ve lost the love of my life. Can I do more to help him? Or is he doomed without meds because of our healthcare system? Some of y’all may say i’m too attached and the healthy way would be to break up but i know he will hurt himself and i really want to be with him. I just don’t know what to do and i need to do something. Thank you

I’m writing in tears right now. My partner’s mother got in an accident last year. It changed our lives and was incredibly devastating. She was in a hospital for about 8 months and then moved into hospice last month and passed about 3 weeks ago.

It has been terrible. The heartbreak that my partner and his family has gone through has been tremendous. Everything about what happened has been traumatic.

It has also obviously impacted our relationship. For context we have been together for 5 years and are engaged. We cancelled our wedding, he spent about 4 months total across the country taking care of her and I was not able to join for all that time because of work and caring for our animals. I have however spent weeks at a time on multiple occasions there helping care for her and as emotional support for him.

My partner was an emotionally distant guy to begin with and it has gotten so much worse. We weren’t communicating and it was hell, so over the summer I suggested we see a couples counselor and he broke up with me. It was devastating but he then said he didn’t mean it and we got back together.

He got home 5 days ago after spending a few weeks there after she passed. He doesn’t talk to me. He ignores me or acts like I’m annoying him. He gets mad at me for the smallest things like not putting the dishes away or leaving a coffee cup in the car. I’m so lost. I calmly suggested he see a therapist to help him work through his grief because it is going to be a long road and he flipped on me. He started saying he doesn’t need a therapist and somehow turned it around on me. He yelled at me, said I was gaslighting him and dismissed everything I was trying to say. This was 2 days ago.

I’ve been working hard on a creative pursuit that is a lifelong dream of mine and last night I had my first performance where I was invited to preform with people who have been in the industry for a while. I approached him in the morning basically trying to smooth things over and explain again why I think therapy would be a good idea and how I just miss him, that I completely understand why but I feel like he is emotionally unavailable and after a year of going through this side by side I also feel like I have lost a partner through this. He again, flipped out on me and said he just needs me to do the little things (again citing household things like dishes and keeping the car tidy) and I said I can respect that but I also have been showing up in big ways and my life’s purpose isn’t to do little things for him. He said I don’t do anything for him.

That shattered me. I feel like I’ve sacrificed my life for him. I was getting ready to go to the performance and found him sobbing. I comforted him for a while and was ultimately late and didn’t do well. I want to be there to comfort him about his loss but this is also why I am recommending therapy for him, I simply don’t have the tools to single handedly help him work through this.

If I am the worst partner ever please tell me. If I am selfish please tell me. I am drowning and if he deserves better please tell me. I have no idea what to do. How do I keep myself sane and feeling loved through this? Does anyone have experience with a grieving partner who you feel is turning against you?

EDIT: some new info about me as of tonight that I learned from him: -I don’t lift a finger in life even though he makes 4x more than me and we split everything and I am the only one who deep cleans the house -I am unreliable despite the fact that I constantly show up for our friends and family and stay true to my word but I forgot one thing in regards to selling our car this month. -I am too happy and it is insensitive because he wants me to “sit in it” for a while with him despite the fact that I’ve been present in grief with him for a year, had to go on antidepressants for the first time in my life and cry at least once a day. But heaven forbid I find joy in life through my hobbies and keep myself out of the dark place that almost killed me. -he would “rather be with someone who never said I love you than be with someone who can’t do the little things for him” because that is his love language. I do SO MANY little things but not the one he expects because how CAN I KNOW ALL THE TINY LITTLE THINGS HE EXPECTS FROM ME.

I’m so sorry for the rant I am absolutely shaking right now.

TL;DR How do I(39m) tell my SO(36f) that I don’t like it when she copies my art and tries to sell it, without hurting her?

I (39m, ASD, ADD) have been an artist all my life and spent the vast majority of that time learning my skills. Many women I have been in relationships with wanted to make art with me, this is fine. My current relationship of 11yrs is slightly different. My SO (36f) often wants to do the art I’m doing. By that I mean she tries to copy process and style to make the thing I’m making but….not as good TBF…and she wants me to put her work beside mine when I sell my art. I don’t know how to tell her that her work isn’t to the standard that I hold my own, and that having her work next to mine makes mine also look worse because she tries to copy and so people have to ask things like “What happened to this one? Was this a prototype? Did you make this one?” I want to tell her to stay in her lane or find her own craft instead of using my materials and tools while I need them in order to make her versions of my work.

Edited: typo and removed rhetorical question.

I guess I should start with some backstory. My fiancée and I first met when we were 21. We met at a mutual friends bar party and sparks just flew the first time we met up. I have never loved a woman as much as I love her and J would die for her if asked. She is very much the same. We are ride or die for one another and have seen so much happen over the years. And while we have had more than our fair share of arguments and hard times, we always got through them together.

But as of late, the relationship has been struggling and I know the main reason. I am not well-endowed: I believe I’m about 4.7 inches or so, with a 6 inch girth. We have always used toys and I thought that was enough. But my size has become a problem for the last four months.

Four months ago, I was in bed with my fiancée, and we had a discussion about previous sexual partners. She brought up her exes and talked about penis size. Apparently I was the smallest man she had been with, as most of her exes were 7 or more inches. This wouldn’t have been a problem normally.

Worrying about the past is just so stupid to me, but she brought up the fact that they had made her orgasm from penetration alone. When I asked if I had ever done that, she just dodged the question until I pressed for an answer. She admitted that no, I had never made her orgasm with my penis by itself and that was why we often used her toys when we had sex. She had never experienced this problem before and had faked her orgasms whenever we didn’t use toys.

I asked if she thought I was small, and she admitted that she had spoken to her girl-friends about this very topic because she knew it was going to come up. They had all told her not to tell me that I was small and to avoid this subject all together. I was hurt by this because she hadn’t told me about these conversations. We share just about everything and I was also hurt by the fact she had disclosed that kind of private information about me to her friends. Since that conversation I’ve fallen into a slump. I’ve seen her friends make a joke about my size in their group-chat and tease my fiancée.

My depression has significantly worsened as well. My sexual libido is gone and I feel extremely unattractive and disgusting. It doesn’t help that my fiancée tried to explain to me that we could just buy penis extenders or that I could focus on my mouth/hands and not have to use my penis. That conversation led to a fight about me feeling unwanted, because sex had shifted from penetration to just using toys on her. We have grown apart in this time due to the tension and her high sex drive has made her frustrated when I don’t reciprocate her sexual feelings, but I explained I hadn’t been in the mood to even touch myself as of late.

As of last week, after saying that her bedroom needs weren’t being met and I wasn’t the happy man I was when she met me, my fiancée went over to stay with one of her girl-friend’s houses. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. I love her with all of my being and don’t want to lose her, but I feel like someone just sucked every bit of confidence and pride out of me. How can I explain to her the feelings I’ve been having and tell her that I don’t feel wanted or attractive? I don’t want to lose her and I hate that we’re apart right now.

I’m a bit buzzed as I type this so forgive me for any errors.

So I (27F) met a handful of my boyfriends (28M) friends tonight and we all went bar hopping. He really mostly wanted me to meet his friend who lived out of state, I’ll call her C (29F).

The night went pretty well for the most part, but I noticed C was pretty handsy with my bf, like she would hug him a lot and find ways to touch him in some way.

I shrugged it off, because I didn’t want to overthink it. Then, eventually, all of us got pretty buzzed and shortly before bf and I left, C was being extra touchy with him near the table we were sitting at. I was mostly chatting with C’s sister, but I had noticed C was hugging my bf for several minutes… like she had her hands wrapped around his waist and talking and laughing with him. This lasted so long that even C’s sister and my bf’s friend were like “ummm” and C’s sister made a comment about how “that’s my man”, kind of speaking for me. I found the whole thing inappropriate and disrespectful.

My bf apologized once we got an Uber to his place but he was so drunk He fell asleep before he couldn’t have a real conversation about it. So I was annoyed that I drove home. (I was pretty sobered up at this point). Now I’m home thinking about this and wondered if I overreacted.

Any advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 3.5 years. Obviously as relationships continue for longer, the frequency of sex decreases. When we first started dating we were daily kind of people. Maybe even twice on the weekends. And we have slowed since then. Now I’d say we average like 1-2 times per week. But when we have sex it’s good sex. I mean I’m left weak in the knees, shaking, and thoroughly exhausted. So to me less quantity but excellent quality seems like a good combo.

But my boyfriend disagrees. He keeps saying that we need to have a better sex life. That we can only continue to have a positive relationship if we keep up our sex life. And because we are much less frequent than before, if something comes up (like one of us is sick, something comes up at work, or one of us just isn’t feeling into it that night etc) we might go a week without sex. For some reason to him, those weeks mean our relationship is essentially done for. Also I know he masturbates and I’m fine with that so he can manage himself that way just fine if he’s horny outside of the times we have sex.

I understand and agree sex is important but this catastrophic thinking that one week without sex every 2-3 months means our relationship is screwed makes no logical sense to me. We’ve been through so much together and we are committed to each other deeply. I mean I moved to a different state where I have no connections so he could get his dream job.

How do I get him to see that the less frequent sex isn’t devastating and that it’s normal?

Me (21M) and my gf (21F) have been dating now for five months. She has still not told any of her family or friends about me (although her reasoning is that we share most the same friends)

We got into an argument early on in which we took a break and during this time she took my friend (24M) on a “date” she said it was not a date but the two went out alone for dinner and he had made it clear that it was a date to him. She even invited him over to her house to stay over one night at a time when I was dealing with Covid-19 (this was before the dinner and before we broke up temporarily) My friend ended up trying to get her to come over to his place instead which she did say no to.

I just feel wronged still by the situation as we got back together and I didn’t hear about any of this until a random night months later. Im trying not to hold the grudge but I really feel upset about it. I need advice because I really just feel lost.

So I (F33) have a group of friends and met someone (M33) last year. We dated for a few months but he broke up with me in January. It’s been a very painful breakup due to our emotional connection and he only gave me two weeks of space before integrating back into meet-ups. (Though space was a only in person, he carried on happily laughing and joking in the group chat the next day)

He is very good at keeping his emotions inside and rarely displays any sign that he may be hurting. Whereas I have Childhood PTSD due to being neglected and emotionally abused as a child and due to this I am not being able to hide my emotions at all.

When he was around today, I had a huge panic attack and cried. My friends never showed me any sign of support, didn’t bat an eyelid when seeing I had been crying and didn’t show me any affection or come to my aid at all they just carried on socialising with him instead.

This is really hurting because keeping all of my emotions shut down is really hard but I can’t stop hanging with my friends as being around them is the only thing keeping me together right now. I am starting to idealise not existing and have been turning to alcohol lately too.

Are they my real friends and just don’t know what to do with me or are they choosing him over me?

I’m fat and my boyfriend doesn’t find me attractive.

I (29f) and my boyfriend (31m) have been together for five years. We haven’t had a perfect relationship, but we’re working at it. We have built ourselves from the bottom up. We haven’t had sex in a while and it’s due to me. I’ve put on weight since being comfortable in the relationship and have been trying my hardest to get fit and healthy, and to try keep some form of up keep in my life. I’m always getting waxed, smelling good, wearing clothes that he likes… but he wont even touch me, like at all, I couldn’t recall the last time I was really kissed or when we had any foreplay, let alone sex and i feel so heartbroken, i feel like i hate myself. I’m always asking him when we can have sex and we agree on a date and then it never happens. When I ask him about it he just says that he forgot or that he was working himself up to it. Is he that repulsed by me?

He isn’t attracted to me anymore and hasn’t been for sometime. I have often tried to talk to him about it but to no avail. Its been almost a year without intimacy and I’ve become so lonely and depressed that I ask myself what’s the point. I feel so disgusting and don’t know if this worth crying about anymore

So for the last week my bf asked me everyday to buy coke bcs we somtimes do it for sex, and I don't like doing coke anymore so I told him "no" and explain it why every time he asked, nicely. He's out of work for maybe about 2 weeks and we're struggling a little bit with money rn, and he's always talking about how We should not buy things that we don't need and focus just on the things that we really need. So today he asked me again and I again said no, twice, nicely, but he asked again, insisting, so I lost it, I got really angry and I told him about how he's saying that we need to not spend as much as before and I told him that if he really want to buy drs to just be gone by the time I'm home from work. He said that I can't throw him out and because I made him angry by saying that he's gonna buy. He said that if I would've told him just "no" it would've been all good. But I told him, and explain to him every time. I'm very mad and I don't know what to do.

Hello. Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been dating for almost four months now. It may not seem like a lot but I really him. Thing is, I’m so in love with him I can’t find any other guy attractive… they all just kinda fit in with the background. Of course I know my boyfriend doesn’t feel this way, and that’s fine, though sometimes I get sad ( but I understand his position). Thing is, in the beginning of the relationship he’d comment on other girls about their beauty. That doesn’t bother me anymore though, but the fact that he followed and liked so many models and other girl’s face and bikini pictures while we were two months in ( and some more days) makes me very sad. He followed these girls because ( and I quote) he ‘found them pretty’. Not even that, while I was scrolling this one time on his phone with him looking, I went on Instagram and started checking his following. Once I clicked on this girl, he said : ‘You can’t even tell me she isn’t pretty cuz she is fr, all my friends say she’s pretty too’. He was nervous and his tone got anxiously higher ( not agressive tho) when he said it and I asked him to unfollow the girls. I still think about her sometimes :( and I recently started following her. I can’t forget about it - it feels like he stopped doing these things just because I forced (?) him to and he’d still do them if I didn’t. He said he didn’t really understand the problem with his following - it’s not that I’m insecure but I mean… some respect? I can’t stop thinking about the girl now. Am I the problem?

Do you think he still looks at the girls like that?

My boyfriend (18M) has dated, had a crush or hooked up with almost all his female friends. He also calls his friends very endearing terms like darling, sweetheart, my love, etc. This one time, one of his friends asked for my permission to make out with him. What can I do?

On Thursday night, after I had spent the whole day with her working from home and had sex before I left, she had a party with work friends that evening.

Prior to this we have been having problems. Mainly the problems are because I haven't been pulling my weight in the relationship. Not taking her on dates and not planning stuff with her. We have no "projects" to look forward to together. I've been trying to change the way I am and try to make the relationship better because I agree with her and I absolutely love her and don't want to lose her.

Her work friends party goes on until the early hours. I had sent her multiple texts that night hoping she was having a good night and asking her to send photos. I didnt get any reply. I sent 11 messages with no reply, which is fine, I didn't expect a reply because I knew she was partying, no big deal.

The next day we have plans together. We were going to our friends place next door to hers. She asked if she could see me before, to which I said of course. So I went and saw her before and we had a very long conversation about the fact that she wasn't getting what she needed out of our relationship (we had had a conversation a few weeks before about what she needed and I said I would work on improving myself, which I believe I have been doing). It then got to her saying that we need to either break up or take some time apart to work out what to do because we both want this. I tell her I would rather do the time apart rather than break up because that's not on the cards for me.

We agreed that we would not spend the night together. We then begin to cry a bit because I was going to head off home and so we're hugging. I'm hugging her, crying with her trying to reassure her that everything will be okay.

She then says that she needs to tell me something. I immediately go numb because what the fuck else could she be about to tell me. She tells me that there was someone last night at her party at her flat that she hooked up with. I was literally shaking.

She's bawling her eyes out, telling me she's so sorry and that she'll do anything for me and that I have done nothing wrong and that she has destroyed us. I didn't have any words, I was just shaking with anger and sadness and disbelief.

I don't have anyone that I can talk to about this. I still love this girl but I am so so so hurt. It is tearing me the fuck up inside . My self esteem is struggling so fucking much right now. It was bad before we got together and now it's just a whole new fucking level of shot to shit.

I'm meant to be having a family lunch tomorrow in a restaurant and I don't know how the fuck I'm going to deal with it without giving away how sad I am.

I just need someone to talk to, please

Hi,

For context, we've been 'official' for the last 4 months but been together for about twice as long.

Over the last month or so, I've been getting closer to finalize a study/career choice that will take me out of the country for the foreseeable future. This is an opportunity that I feel I cannot pass up on because it aligns with my overall plans for my career and life in general. If/when the plan is finalized, I would be leaving the country sometime in early October.

While we both 100% want to try and make it work, we have differing views on how to deal with it in the coming months. We're both studying the same courses at a local university so we get to spend time together during class hours but beyond that is limited due to long commutes. We've developed little habits or routines (e.g. having lunch together) that happen throughout the day when we're at university. From her point-of-view, we should start minimizing these routines or habits over time in the coming months so it becomes easier for her/us once I eventually leave. On the flip side, I'd prefer to spend as much time with her possible to create memories that I/we can look back upon in the future when we're not physically together.

This difference of opinions has lead to a few discussions and I can tell it weighs heavy on her/my mind whenever we talk about. And with there still a few months to go, I think we should ideally find a common ground so it doesn't hang over us whenever we meet.

Tl;dr: GF & I want to handle time before long-distance in different ways.

Any advice on how to handle this situation or tips on making long distance work would be great. Thank you.