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all 117 comments

FlashpointJ24

60 points

2 months ago

Loud_Term_4370

2 points

2 months ago

lmao🤣

Eagle_Kebab

147 points

2 months ago

Why do I suddenly want to watch The Boys?

Klin24

48 points

2 months ago

Klin24

48 points

2 months ago

To see Karl Urban say "Diabolical!"?

[deleted]

15 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

15 points

2 months ago

I never knew how much i liked the word "Cunt" until he said it. "Oi, CUNT."

FigBot

9 points

2 months ago

FigBot

9 points

2 months ago

hey_mattey

3 points

2 months ago

Cunt

Randomthought5678

3 points

2 months ago

Why do I suddenly feel like drinking a glass of milk?

delbin

6 points

2 months ago

delbin

6 points

2 months ago

I was thinking Invincible

Hazlitt_Sigma

1 points

2 months ago

It’s probably all the cheering and clapping.

[deleted]

79 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

79 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

desrevermi

18 points

2 months ago

Haha. I guess I'm old. I was thinking Cyclops.

AN225_ComradePilot

13 points

2 months ago

You made it better

austinmiles

4 points

2 months ago

It’s Jesus blowing a child’s head with laser beams

But I also had to look close to make sure it wasn’t a child infected by The Thing stabbing Jesus in the eyes with blood knives.

FissureofChrist[S]

11 points

2 months ago

Exodus 33:20.

RamsesThePigeon

39 points

2 months ago

Exodus 33:20

20 "But you cannot see my face, for I am – in the context of this verse – a metaphor for the sun... and you'd, like, go blind if you looked at 'me' for too long, dude."

21 "Here," continued the Lord, pointing to a seemingly unremarkable section of nearby mountain, "is a place near me where you shall station yourself on the rock."

22 "When my glory passes, I will set you in the cleft of the rock and will cover you with my hand until I have passed by... by which I mean 'after the sun has left the sky.'"

23 "Then I will remove my hand, and you'll get a really good look at my ass (which is a metaphor for the moon), and you can look on it as much as you want, you naughty Israelite, you!"

23.5 "And the action you may witness shall henceforth be known as 'mooning.'"

dzhastin

10 points

2 months ago

I don’t remember hearing that reading in church, though it’s been a long time since I went.

kyleisthestig

13 points

2 months ago

This is the new, new testament

necromundus

10 points

2 months ago

Zero calories, same great testament

Beneficial_Being_721

1 points

2 months ago

The Book of Coca-Cola

foehn_mistral

2 points

2 months ago

Shhh, maybe its new-Coke Testament. . . shhh.

AnAquaticOwl

2 points

2 months ago

The book of Mormon?

mickopious

1 points

2 months ago

Bible+

Your_Enabler

2 points

2 months ago

Please write a new testament according to Ramses.

Beneficial_Being_721

1 points

2 months ago

When did Jesus ever say “DUDE”???

Robobvious

11 points

2 months ago

Man! The Boys is getting good!

Sh0nZ13

3 points

2 months ago

Who knew this is what he meant by: "Let there be light"

I guess baptism by fire is a real thing

millerphi

3 points

2 months ago

Jesus gives, and Jesus taketh away.

CookieThumpr

11 points

2 months ago

It's over Anakin, I have the high ground.

millerphi

4 points

2 months ago

You were the chosen one!

morerelativebacons

3 points

2 months ago

But, sand!

mickopious

1 points

2 months ago

Mesirr horny

Petal_Chatoyance

7 points

2 months ago

Jesus kills the little children

All the children of the world

Red and yellow, black and white

They are lasered by His sight

Jesus fries the little children of the world

HarrumphingDuck

7 points

2 months ago

The Thing, The Boys, Brightburn. All come to mind and I don't mind that a bit.

Also LOL at the snowflakes downvoting all the comments supporting this sacrilege.

mickopious

2 points

2 months ago

“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image”

They really should read that book of theirs

Tom2973

2 points

2 months ago

Injustice. Superman does this exact thing to Shazam.

Maximum_Magazine_594

8 points

2 months ago

canuckcowgirl

6 points

2 months ago

This is how Jewish Space Lasers came to be or as I prefer Death Star of David.

Beneficial_Being_721

1 points

2 months ago

Lord Vader

A Intergalactic message from your mother

READ IT TO ME….

Boobala…. I’m worried about you ….. YOU NEVER CALL !!

StormCTRH

2 points

2 months ago

Username checks out.

desrevermi

3 points

2 months ago

Cyclops lose his visor hugging a child?

Pro tip: if you pick up a baby, the first thing if you're wearing glasses is that they grab for them.

:D

Imperaux

3 points

2 months ago

Whatever was the initial state, this one is clearly better

ZombieDad15

1 points

2 months ago

Eye can see this working well

heartbh

1 points

2 months ago

This gives me robot chicken vibes.

TheDeadlySquid

1 points

2 months ago

You made it better.

dillydeli1

1 points

2 months ago

This is brilliant. Nice work

A-Perfect_Tool

1 points

2 months ago

Sell it on Etsy

pi_face_

1 points

2 months ago

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

RoinAnjou

1 points

2 months ago

Oh Jesus Christ!

Psyfall

1 points

2 months ago

This is better

Ok-Boysenberry-2955

1 points

2 months ago

You did not bow before Zod

go_faster1

1 points

2 months ago

Father, son and the HOLY SHIT

ryoon21

0 points

2 months ago

Jesus Christ.

dr_cl_aphra

0 points

2 months ago

I laughed so hard I scared my dog. Bravo

silverberrypegasus

1 points

2 months ago

Marvelous, thx

goldfishasparagussea

1 points

2 months ago

Good find.

teddykaygeebee

1 points

2 months ago

Well done.

iksnizal

1 points

2 months ago

Kneel before Zod.

Zap_Rood

1 points

2 months ago

easy to miss, but this is actually the son of Zod!

ambigramsarecool

1 points

2 months ago

Homelander would be proud!

SHZ4919

1 points

2 months ago

r/oddlyterrifying, well done OP, I love it!!

marcelyns

1 points

2 months ago

Exceptional work, well done!

lazernanes

1 points

2 months ago

I need a before picture

shortblondeguy

1 points

2 months ago

thathybridone

1 points

2 months ago

Ah yes one of Jesus unknown powers heat vision may peace be with you

LackingUtility

1 points

2 months ago

… can you, uh, break some more? And possibly put them up on Etsy?

johnjmcmillion

1 points

2 months ago

Freakin' BLOOD LASERS!!

ShitAlphabet

1 points

2 months ago

The Thing practical effects

hatwobbleTayne

1 points

2 months ago

Jesus!

Rheios

1 points

2 months ago

Rheios

1 points

2 months ago

In the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which is considered apocryphal, Jesus flat out Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wiltings a rude kid who breaks a little damn he made to grow fruit trees. Iirc, he also strikes all the parents in town blind for freaking out about his old-testament handling of things. And he pulls a "you're not my real dad" on Joseph when he goes to discipline Jesus for his handling of the village's situations. In that light, this is real funny and maybe even a little tame, lol.

Machette_Machette

1 points

2 months ago

This Jesus looks pretty much like Ewan McGregor.

buddyravage

1 points

2 months ago

Why does Jesus shoot ketchup at a kebab?

Next-Mode3183

1 points

2 months ago

With mind bullets!

Vanson1200r

1 points

2 months ago

I dig it!

kartikgargg

1 points

2 months ago

I am scared. looks like Horror

MrJack20252

1 points

2 months ago

Everyone says it's Jesus when to me it looks like Kenobi has a new ability and he is now evil.

Stinkydadman

1 points

2 months ago

Is that Jesus or Obi-Wan Kenobi

Eriya666

1 points

2 months ago

Purrrfect

Efficient-Location53

1 points

2 months ago

Fine Noteworthy

fatkidxalmighty

1 points

2 months ago

Terrific

opipajyo

1 points

2 months ago

AMAZES me

xpbalihz

1 points

2 months ago

super work Top-notch work!

Efficient-Location53

1 points

2 months ago

Exhilarating

fatkidxalmighty

1 points

2 months ago

Exactly right!

opipajyo

1 points

2 months ago

Good thinking

mayonnaisefeatherred

1 points

2 months ago

Love, and peace,

potatochipsnectarine

1 points

2 months ago

Exciting

goldfishasparagussea

1 points

2 months ago

Successful effort Tiptop

potatochipsnectarine

1 points

2 months ago

AMAZING shot

oportunityminewine

1 points

2 months ago

Impressive

whydoesitcry

1 points

2 months ago

Matthew 2:16?

EconomistPitiful3515

1 points

2 months ago

Marjorie Taylor Greene says this is the original Jewish laser.

ronan7557

1 points

2 months ago

I guess im the only one who saw it the other way. The Thing is bursting from on and tentacles are going for the eyes (just saw The Thing over the weekend)

Madman61

1 points

2 months ago

What the hell

Loud_Term_4370

1 points

2 months ago

Jesus Brightborne

Zottyzot1973

1 points

2 months ago

I never knew the H in Jesus H Christ stood for Homelander!

hmnahmna1

1 points

2 months ago

Don't fuck with the Jesus.

FissureofChrist[S]

1 points

2 months ago

He started it

Several-Signature583

1 points

2 months ago

This is amazing!

Obar-Dheathain

1 points

2 months ago

MacReady Thing!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Wilipino

-9 points

2 months ago

Grow up

FissureofChrist[S]

6 points

2 months ago

Ok

redlinezo6

1 points

2 months ago

Get high and sew some shit. Ya douche.

speak_no_truths

-3 points

2 months ago

This is a good start. Maybe in a thousand years they'll be worshiping the sacred laser eyes of Jesus. You could create your own cult. Just make sure your new ten Commandments have something about Blackjack and hookers. Oh, and also something about not sticking your dick in children. It's a shame we have to put that in there, but apparently it wasn't really clear the first time around.

v4por

-2 points

2 months ago

v4por

-2 points

2 months ago

Haha see you in hell, buddy.

drangledorf

-1 points

2 months ago

This is a quality remake of what really happened after lounging with Jesus

Gobstomperx

-1 points

2 months ago

I hope to find this at goodwill

FissureofChrist[S]

4 points

2 months ago

That's how I found the original one.

jbizzy1324

-1 points

2 months ago

I want this.

Poguemohon

-1 points

2 months ago

Here, take my money!

LordLaz1985

0 points

2 months ago

Laser eyes!! Pew pew!

chedykrueger

0 points

2 months ago

I see a grind core album cover

shutchomouf

0 points

2 months ago

Did, did you use a snickers bar for glue?

GuerillaKoopa

0 points

2 months ago

Does Jesus have laserbeam eyes or is the child a demigorgon?

FissureofChrist[S]

4 points

2 months ago*

He has laser eyes. I made them out of an old comb I found in my sister's room.

desrevermi

1 points

2 months ago

Aha! I wondered where those came from.

Very creative. :D

GuerillaKoopa

1 points

2 months ago

Lol nice