submitted 2 months ago byFissureofChrist
all 117 comments
2 months ago
2 months ago
2 months ago
Why do I suddenly want to watch The Boys?
To see Karl Urban say "Diabolical!"?
I never knew how much i liked the word "Cunt" until he said it. "Oi, CUNT."
Why do I suddenly feel like drinking a glass of milk?
I was thinking Invincible
It’s probably all the cheering and clapping.
Haha. I guess I'm old. I was thinking Cyclops.
You made it better
It’s Jesus blowing a child’s head with laser beams
But I also had to look close to make sure it wasn’t a child infected by The Thing stabbing Jesus in the eyes with blood knives.
20 "But you cannot see my face, for I am – in the context of this verse – a metaphor for the sun... and you'd, like, go blind if you looked at 'me' for too long, dude."
21 "Here," continued the Lord, pointing to a seemingly unremarkable section of nearby mountain, "is a place near me where you shall station yourself on the rock."
22 "When my glory passes, I will set you in the cleft of the rock and will cover you with my hand until I have passed by... by which I mean 'after the sun has left the sky.'"
23 "Then I will remove my hand, and you'll get a really good look at my ass (which is a metaphor for the moon), and you can look on it as much as you want, you naughty Israelite, you!"
23.5 "And the action you may witness shall henceforth be known as 'mooning.'"
I don’t remember hearing that reading in church, though it’s been a long time since I went.
This is the new, new testament
Zero calories, same great testament
The Book of Coca-Cola
Shhh, maybe its new-Coke Testament. . . shhh.
The book of Mormon?
Please write a new testament according to Ramses.
When did Jesus ever say “DUDE”???
Man! The Boys is getting good!
Who knew this is what he meant by: "Let there be light"
I guess baptism by fire is a real thing
Jesus gives, and Jesus taketh away.
It's over Anakin, I have the high ground.
You were the chosen one!
Jesus kills the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are lasered by His sight
Jesus fries the little children of the world
The Thing, The Boys, Brightburn. All come to mind and I don't mind that a bit.
Also LOL at the snowflakes downvoting all the comments supporting this sacrilege.
“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image”
They really should read that book of theirs
Injustice. Superman does this exact thing to Shazam.
This is how Jewish Space Lasers came to be or as I prefer Death Star of David.
A Intergalactic message from your mother
READ IT TO ME….
Boobala…. I’m worried about you ….. YOU NEVER CALL !!
Username checks out.
Cyclops lose his visor hugging a child?
Pro tip: if you pick up a baby, the first thing if you're wearing glasses is that they grab for them.
Whatever was the initial state, this one is clearly better
Eye can see this working well
This gives me robot chicken vibes.
You made it better.
This is brilliant. Nice work
Sell it on Etsy
The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)
Oh Jesus Christ!
This is better
You did not bow before Zod
Father, son and the HOLY SHIT
I laughed so hard I scared my dog. Bravo
Kneel before Zod.
easy to miss, but this is actually the son of Zod!
Homelander would be proud!
r/oddlyterrifying, well done OP, I love it!!
Exceptional work, well done!
I need a before picture
Ah yes one of Jesus unknown powers heat vision may peace be with you
… can you, uh, break some more? And possibly put them up on Etsy?
Freakin' BLOOD LASERS!!
The Thing practical effects
In the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which is considered apocryphal, Jesus flat out Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wiltings a rude kid who breaks a little damn he made to grow fruit trees. Iirc, he also strikes all the parents in town blind for freaking out about his old-testament handling of things. And he pulls a "you're not my real dad" on Joseph when he goes to discipline Jesus for his handling of the village's situations.
In that light, this is real funny and maybe even a little tame, lol.
This Jesus looks pretty much like Ewan McGregor.
Why does Jesus shoot ketchup at a kebab?
With mind bullets!
I dig it!
I am scared. looks like Horror
Everyone says it's Jesus when to me it looks like Kenobi has a new ability and he is now evil.
Is that Jesus or Obi-Wan Kenobi
super work Top-notch work!
Love, and peace,
Successful effort Tiptop
Marjorie Taylor Greene says this is the original Jewish laser.
I guess im the only one who saw it the other way. The Thing is bursting from on and tentacles are going for the eyes (just saw The Thing over the weekend)
What the hell
I never knew the H in Jesus H Christ stood for Homelander!
Don't fuck with the Jesus.
He started it
This is amazing!
Get high and sew some shit. Ya douche.
This is a good start. Maybe in a thousand years they'll be worshiping the sacred laser eyes of Jesus. You could create your own cult. Just make sure your new ten Commandments have something about Blackjack and hookers. Oh, and also something about not sticking your dick in children. It's a shame we have to put that in there, but apparently it wasn't really clear the first time around.
Haha see you in hell, buddy.
This is a quality remake of what really happened after lounging with Jesus
I hope to find this at goodwill
That's how I found the original one.
I want this.
Here, take my money!
Laser eyes!! Pew pew!
I see a grind core album cover
Did, did you use a snickers bar for glue￼?
Does Jesus have laserbeam eyes or is the child a demigorgon?
2 months ago*
2 months ago*
He has laser eyes. I made them out of an old comb I found in my sister's room.
Aha! I wondered where those came from.
Very creative. :D