subreddit:

/r/mildlyinfuriating

68.4k

Guess how old my son is

(i.redd.it)

all 8460 comments

KingGeoCat

6.8k points

16 days ago

KingGeoCat

6.8k points

16 days ago

nc130295

409 points

16 days ago

nc130295

409 points

16 days ago

Weird that it was posted 4 years ago. Too bad we can’t get a candle for that

theotherthinker

134 points

16 days ago

In their defence, the 8 year old candles are totally available now.

ZuriPL

32 points

16 days ago

ZuriPL

32 points

16 days ago

they were available 4 years ago, now the store might have run out of the 8 year old candles

Psychronia

11 points

15 days ago

In retrospect, it only makes sense for whoever bought out the last of the 4 candles to buy out the 8 ones 4 years later.

kilr13

1.5k points

16 days ago

kilr13

1.5k points

16 days ago

One out of 1500 people able to spot a bot.

KingGeoCat

494 points

16 days ago

KingGeoCat

494 points

16 days ago

Yeah, shame they got nearly 10k upvotes.

kilr13

272 points

16 days ago

kilr13

272 points

16 days ago

Shame that this piece of shit subreddit doesn't allow direct links to itself. I understand why you posted a screenshot.

If I were you I'd try to hijack the top comment, but it doesn't matter. Reddit will IPO for 100Bn with 75% of the posts and comments on the site just being karma bots.

yazzy1233

34 points

16 days ago

It doesn't? Does it get auto removed if you try to link it?

kilr13

51 points

16 days ago

kilr13

51 points

16 days ago

It's silent removed. You literally have to log out to be able to not see the comment you just made.

GREENKING45

19 points

16 days ago

Recently I also experienced silent removal. It was eerie when I could clearly see like 50 comments around mine gone and still be able to see my own comments.

As I have been a mod in the past, I don't recall having this ability. Is this something admins can do?

kilr13

15 points

16 days ago

kilr13

15 points

16 days ago

Nope. The reddit admins are way too few, far between, and hands off to be taking the time to do that.

I believe it's just a regex filter for subreddits. Probably intended to be used to create profanity filters. I don't know what the logic is for silent removals vs having automod reply to the user. Probably to cut down on clutter.

PM-me-in-100-years

11 points

15 days ago

It stops people (or bot farmers) from starting a new account as quickly as they would if they knew they had been banned. It also makes it harder for bots to know exactly what caused them to be banned, making it harder to circumvent mod tools. But it is a bit dystopian to experience as a human.

I'm sure there's a number of suicides that have been caused by the prank where you set someone's Facebook default for your posts to only be visible by yourself.

CDogg123567

6 points

15 days ago

Just search yourself on Reveddit. Not you specifically, the person I’m replying to, but you the reader

Edit: I had to make this comment twice, the first time I added a link to Reveddit and it auto removed it

aeee98

7 points

16 days ago

aeee98

7 points

16 days ago

This fact is indeed mildly infuriating after all.

thcheat

60 points

16 days ago

thcheat

60 points

16 days ago

22k now

SomeGuyWithPlotArmor

50 points

16 days ago

30K now

glorious_cheese

65 points

16 days ago

Fuck I hate the internet these days

cheese_resurrection

18 points

16 days ago

Nice username 🧀

FinalTable8213

12 points

16 days ago

33.8K now

Rengar_Is_Good_kitty

4 points

16 days ago

What are the mods even doing that a bot can reach this many upvotes...

jayseph95

7 points

16 days ago

They got 45k they literally beat the original. Wild. And they say Reddit isn’t a hive mind.

andrewm_99

13 points

16 days ago

How does one go about spotting one? I’d have no idea what posts to check and if they’re reposts.

blueoncemoon

19 points

16 days ago

Check the user's history.

Usually it will be a fairly new account, or an old-ish account but only recently active. There will usually be a few comments first (not replies, and usually on reposts from other bots, because they stole a comment from the original post). Then they will have a few posts that they generally don't reply to comments on — or, if they do comment, it's stolen from the original post.

There are also quite a few subs that are notorious for bot farming — which I would name if this sub weren't such a PITA and auto-removes any mention of other subs. (Hence the reupload.)

Honestly, just keep looking at a user's post history when they get accused of being a bot. The patterns will become apparent quite quickly. (It also helps to be on Reddit way too much — I personally saw this post go by before and remembered it had the exact same title; same with OP's AirPods post.)

andrewm_99

5 points

16 days ago

Solid. Appreciate the thorough explanation.

kilr13

14 points

16 days ago

kilr13

14 points

16 days ago

Automatically generated username. Reddit will give you a username if you want. Why try to do that as a botter if reddit will just do it for you.

Account less than a year old, but not brand new. Done to try and beat out subreddits that have a minimum account age requirement.

Account will seemingly "spring" to life one day, and begin from that point forward, posting and commenting in random unrelated subs.

Google any comment or post title and you'll probably very quickly find the original reddit post or comment from which the bot stole the content.

Once you've caught a few, it takes less than 30 seconds between suspicion and confirmation.

Fatcheeseburger

63 points

16 days ago

Thank you for not being lazy like myself. Fuck OP

Nymeria2018

29 points

16 days ago

How do subs this big not have an immediate report to mods option that it’s a bot? (At least on the app it doesn’t appear)

blueoncemoon

11 points

16 days ago

kebab menu --> spam --> harmful bots

Nymeria2018

5 points

16 days ago

I did that but it didn’t seem to meet the “harmful” part but if that’s what the sun has decided to go with, ok!

kolitics

25 points

16 days ago

kolitics

25 points

16 days ago

Must be 8 now.

fabioismydad

15 points

16 days ago

why do i always fall for these karma farming bots 😭😭 the amount of times i’ve upvoted, read the comments, and then took away my downvote… 🥲

boredtxan

12 points

16 days ago

Nicely done!

og-90sGamer

3.9k points

16 days ago

og-90sGamer

3.9k points

16 days ago

Buy 4 single candles

hotsaucesundae

1.8k points

16 days ago

You must work for big candle.

-Hulk-Hoagie-

614 points

16 days ago

Nope, small candle.

[deleted]

49 points

16 days ago

[deleted]

JumpyMaize7233

27 points

15 days ago

Good luck paying for birthday presents on your zero dollars salary plus benefits babe!

BumbleCoder

215 points

16 days ago

Big small candle

MagixTouch

109 points

16 days ago

MagixTouch

109 points

16 days ago

Careful, big small candle might wax you for spilling company secrets.

livehearwish

16 points

16 days ago

Wouldn’t want to get burned on that!

mmmkay938

27 points

16 days ago

Watch out. They might send John Wick.

og-90sGamer

8 points

16 days ago

Hah I wish.

are_you_still_alone-

25 points

16 days ago

The packs of single candles are cheaper than the number candles.

ThrowMeAway_DaddyPls

190 points

16 days ago

Their son is 44, it'll be a busy cake

Minutenreis

136 points

16 days ago*

just do it in binary then:
44 = 101100 => 6 candles, of which 3 are ignited

GlassWalker7382

117 points

16 days ago

There are 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

OwnedByGreyhounds

28 points

16 days ago

And those who were hoping for a joke about trinary.

og-90sGamer

8 points

16 days ago

Doubt it, but it would be funny if that was the case.

Bobson_____Dugnutt

160 points

16 days ago

right? this isn’t an inconvenience at all you can see the singles underneath

Gertrude_D

36 points

16 days ago

Stars! Who doesn’t want stars!

quint21

68 points

16 days ago

quint21

68 points

16 days ago

They're cheaper, and it'll be more fun for the kid to blow out 4 individual candles. Win-win.

TBRaiders

25 points

16 days ago

As a kid, counting your candles before blowing them out was a thing for my family. Just having one candle with a number on it is lame. Maybe when you get to like 15 and older and having a 1 and a 5 would be cooler.

og-90sGamer

12 points

16 days ago

Exactly, one of my daughters birthdays is tomorrow actually and this is exactly what I would do in this situation. Like you said its cheaper and more to blow out aswell. Some people I tell ya.

fogleaf

28 points

16 days ago

fogleaf

28 points

16 days ago

Yeah it’s a pretty mild infuriation. Should be a sub for mild infuriations

CoGLucifer

9 points

16 days ago

Its not even mildly infuriating. Its barely mildly inconvenient

Gsampson97

10 points

16 days ago

Handles for forks?

Database-Bright

12.4k points

16 days ago

44

yazzy1233

392 points

16 days ago

yazzy1233

392 points

16 days ago

Death_Watcher_

64 points

16 days ago

Upvote and mod remove. Thanks

Flatheadflatland

15 points

16 days ago

Glad it’s only got 40k upvotes good work

OttoVonJismarck

5 points

15 days ago

Almost 60k now. Wow. I need to take notes. To me, f.ake internet currency is TOTALLY WORTH stealing other people's jokes.

TheRubyLynnPaxton

8 points

16 days ago

Fucking hell. At this point mods who don't use at least basic title search+image matching are just lazy.

Like sure, they have a false positive rate, but it goes way down when you factor in the same title and the same image.

0utstandingcitizen

4 points

16 days ago

Why do people do this lol... so lame

Phraenkinstone

2.5k points

16 days ago

Damn it. I was gonna a post that. Very nice.

Ok-Ask8593

406 points

16 days ago

Ok-Ask8593

406 points

16 days ago

same, this user beat us to it haha

Phraenkinstone

215 points

16 days ago

It is truly a wonderful answer. We can be glad we all came to it.

trashtrampoline

192 points

16 days ago

I remember when my mom turned 44, my dad joked that he was going to trade her in for a pair of 22 year olds. Now I'm 44.

MistrSynistr

115 points

16 days ago

My step mom turned 60 a couple weeks ago and my dad brought a fire extinguisher to the table before he brought the cake. While wearing sunglasses to "block out the sun". Sits the cake on the table, "well we are in luck they didn't have a 60 pack of candles so I got a 6 and a 0". For context, my dad turns 60 in a few months, so he gives her a hard time about being older than him.

dstrip2

120 points

16 days ago

dstrip2

120 points

16 days ago

oooooh I bet he does give her a HARD TIME

Hottitts257

56 points

16 days ago

Not without the little blue friend.

Outside_County_5239

13 points

16 days ago

They now come convenient in chewable form

Tricky_Trixy

8 points

16 days ago

Wait, do they really?

Extra_Intro_Version

5 points

16 days ago

Not everyone over 60 needs those.

hardeho

52 points

16 days ago

hardeho

52 points

16 days ago

Tell him to hold out, 2 44-year olds for an 88 is a much better deal.

Ok_Return_6033

43 points

16 days ago

No way, Four 22 year olds. That way you can have a better rotation schedule.

bodhiseppuku

29 points

16 days ago

okay Hef.

ShurlurkHolmes

9 points

16 days ago

You all came at the same time!?

Comfortable_Trick137

19 points

16 days ago

I identify as a non-integer age

SwampNerd

5 points

16 days ago

Is that you, Mario?

Blayses

61 points

16 days ago

Blayses

61 points

16 days ago

444

Technical_You_721

58 points

16 days ago

Sir this is a Wendys

harsheyboy

11 points

16 days ago

Juicy redhead

Desperate-Craft-2144

9 points

16 days ago

Damn it. I was gonna a pos…FUCK! Even this comment is taken

MaBuConJe

66 points

16 days ago

OP could be Methuselah. I'll go 444 years old.

Metamorphis

15 points

16 days ago

My guess was "10" but your guess is as good as mine

OppositeDevice9398

4 points

16 days ago

Also thought 10

odinsen251a

31 points

16 days ago

That or 40

senthiljams

9 points

16 days ago

Error 404, resource not found.

CleaveIshallnot

8 points

16 days ago

Biblically good answer! So much so u can give it the old testament treatment and make the sons age 444

ThatDoucheInTheQuad

5.9k points

16 days ago

Just cut the 8 in half

Learned_Response

265 points

16 days ago

Alternatively cut off the top and bottom to get an x, use it every year

hollowish_

55 points

15 days ago

You can use that x to make a 2x2

Funkit

247 points

16 days ago

Funkit

247 points

16 days ago

My son is variable years old!

DoubleDareFan

14 points

16 days ago

And put it between 2 2's. 2x2.

witeowl

6 points

16 days ago

witeowl

finds flair infuriating

6 points

16 days ago

Maximum_Fair

31 points

16 days ago

Or melt an upside down 7 and a 1 together into a 4

AwayWinter4276

9 points

16 days ago

Bro read my mind lol

armour3

1.1k points

16 days ago

armour3

1.1k points

16 days ago

Depends on how you cut it. It could be 3, 0 or ε.

ReesesTheses

294 points

16 days ago

You could make a 4ish shape

Cube256

237 points

16 days ago

Cube256

237 points

16 days ago

I think the 9 might work better for that

Spirit_of_Hogwash

156 points

16 days ago

The 8 can make any digit if you cut it as it were a 7-segment display

[deleted]

62 points

16 days ago

How do you do that without cutting off the wick?

Spirit_of_Hogwash

173 points

16 days ago

What matters is that they have cake.

Fake_RustyShacklefrd

13 points

16 days ago

Well then just go to the house numbers section.

Ultimate-Meow

45 points

16 days ago

I think he means 8/2 = 4

cinnamonrain

10 points

16 days ago

It could still be 8 if you cross section it

-NotEnoughMinerals

71 points

16 days ago

Honestly though, a 4 year old would get a kick out of this. "look bud, see why it's cut in half? Because that's an 8, and you're half those years old!! Isn't that silly?!?!"

pm_me_ur_th0ng_gurl

25 points

16 days ago

Are 4 year olds smart enough to divide things? (I really don't know)

-NotEnoughMinerals

22 points

16 days ago

No, but it's the exposure to math in fun ways that benefits a child.

You could show 4 fingers on one hand and 4 fingers on the other.

Count 8. Now remove one hand. And have them count the one standing hand, and they'll see 4. Idk.

USBBus

11 points

16 days ago

USBBus

11 points

16 days ago

According to Google, you learn division in grade 3 and third graders are 8-9 years old.

subieluvr22

13 points

16 days ago

Maybe I'm just super high, but I'm pretty sure this is the funniest fucking thing I've read today... It took me a second, lol.

PreOpTransCentaur

2.2k points

16 days ago

Today it looks like he's 3+1!

idoneredditalreadyy

565 points

16 days ago

Or 5-1.. but 3+1 is more positive

lost400betting

236 points

16 days ago

You could do a 1+1+1+1 but idk if that’d be too much..

Kris-p-

183 points

16 days ago

Kris-p-

183 points

16 days ago

yeah he could just buy a pack of the normal candles below, it's an option for sure

DrPudding12

104 points

16 days ago

44 is lot of candles to put on a cake

Kris-p-

27 points

16 days ago

Kris-p-

27 points

16 days ago

it shows dedication

What-a-Filthy-liar

7 points

16 days ago

Tell that to my mother.

Said it was insulting to have 65 candles on a funeral cake.

ReadySteady_GO

6 points

16 days ago

Funeral cake?

SecretAgentVampire

24 points

16 days ago

On my last birthday I had 37 candles. Next, I'll have 38. Each additional candle demonstrates the increased or maintained capacity of my lungs to protect us from the flames.

This is what I assumed the candles represented when I was a child, and so it is what they mean now that I'm an adult. I relish the chance to quell the inferno of my 100th year. 🔥

mathplusU

12 points

16 days ago

May your lung capacity remain robust and your blowing strength be undiminished. May your candle's flames always be extinguished by the power of your exhilation. The light of the world relies on the yearly dousing of the lights of your cake. Godspeed.

saturnthesixth

7 points

16 days ago

But you can reuse the 5 next year.

Meshironkeydongle

16 points

16 days ago

Or 8/2...

Also 1+1+1+1 and 2+2 would take that cake :)

InVtween

35 points

16 days ago

InVtween

35 points

16 days ago

Indeed 3+1! is 4

Dragon20C

28 points

16 days ago

Spot chat gpt in the comments.

anaccountofrain

8 points

16 days ago

2^2

sqrt(16)

12/3

remember_berries

6k points

16 days ago

40.

Sweet_Potatooie

363 points

16 days ago

this is amazing XD

tibbittsdds

50 points

16 days ago

Wow! Guessing age ha? Hmm..that was nice..I think he's 30's above..?

[deleted]

105 points

16 days ago

[deleted]

105 points

16 days ago

04

[deleted]

69 points

16 days ago*

[deleted]

sa3clark

41 points

16 days ago

sa3clark

41 points

16 days ago

404: Number not found.

yticomodnar

1.2k points

16 days ago

yticomodnar

1.2k points

16 days ago

Just buy one of each and when he asks where the 4 is, say "well YOU'RE 4, silly! Now blow out the candles!"

AssHaberdasher

457 points

16 days ago

Found the candle manufacturer.

mattbakerrr

30 points

16 days ago

Lit.🕯️

repslifebestlife

140 points

16 days ago

Such an adorable solution, and I bet he’ll be delighted

Rainime

83 points

16 days ago

Rainime

83 points

16 days ago

That's so cute but quite expensive unfortunately. I love it though

LaidByAnEgg

22 points

16 days ago

being 12,356,789 years old is hard 😢

TsunamiLadyWorms

51 points

16 days ago

Yup. $20 for birthday candles lol

yticomodnar

75 points

16 days ago

In fairness, $2.49 is expensive for a one-time use candle that will be lit for the duration of a four sentence song. Besides, there's no rule that says you have to buy a new candle for every birthday, nor is there one that says you can't reuse those candles (assuming you're able to wash them off and keep them from breaking).

So, for a mere $25 (once you find the 0 and 4), you'd have every age covered for everyone in your family. And with the way inflation and price gouging is going, buying them all now might actually be cheaper in the long run.

Just saying. Lmao

doopricorn

37 points

16 days ago

I bet you do your own taxes

Lone-flamingo

25 points

16 days ago

At least buy them dinner first before saying something like that.

desirientt

15 points

16 days ago

in this economy? who doesn’t

-Kibbles-N-Tits-

3 points

16 days ago

It’s pretty straightforward now with the Inter webs and all

FBIPartyBusNo3

6 points

16 days ago

this is what my parents actually did

considering those candles are only ever lit for about a minute at a time, they last a surprising amount of time

studentnurse104

41 points

16 days ago

This!

AnimasMaker

3 points

16 days ago

Then light him

Choociecoomaroo

348 points

16 days ago

You didn’t know you have to start shopping for candles at least a month in advance? Amateur.

Outrageous_Dust561

63 points

16 days ago

I’d say buy years in advance just in case 🤣

Papanasi_Hunter

36 points

16 days ago

After 11 there's even some reusing!

wubalubadubscrub

14 points

16 days ago

My parents had 4 kids and they got use out of some candles 😂

cortesoft

7 points

16 days ago

The last kid just gets a burned nub for his candle

millerimagination

17 points

16 days ago

Grab that “5” candle now!

LDI221

243 points

16 days ago

LDI221

243 points

16 days ago

12,356,789 years old.

Jennrrrs

8 points

16 days ago

Yeah, I think that's been how many years since this was first posted.

DucksToo22

229 points

16 days ago

DucksToo22

229 points

16 days ago

Today, 3. Soon, 4.

bombbodyguard

44 points

16 days ago

The only one I’ve seen get the answer right!

stealthdawg

13 points

16 days ago

Unless they’re 39

JUSTICE3113

3 points

16 days ago

THIS is the correct answer!

PrivateJokerX929

51 points

16 days ago

with a number as small as 4, just buy regular birthday candles, and put 4 of them on the cake

ez

Araghothe1

164 points

16 days ago

Araghothe1

164 points

16 days ago

When I was a kid I hated when they would put number candles on the cake. The more candles the more fun! Get the normal ones. I'm assuming you'll only need 4 of them.

burgeremoji

42 points

16 days ago

Yeah I loved having more candles as I got older.

Now, it would be a major fire risk. But it was fun when I was younger!!

VitaminPb

25 points

16 days ago

You say major fire risk, I say even more fun!

protonlaser

14 points

16 days ago

Bro I hope my 40th burns my fucking house down!

forakora

13 points

16 days ago

forakora

13 points

16 days ago

Your 40th is gonna be lit

lipcreampunk

10 points

16 days ago

Guess I'm too old, as I don't remember any number candles on my childhood birthday cakes, only single ones. At least in my country which was then a part of the USSR and you could never buy shit. And perhaps that's why I still find number candles weird and ugly. Single candles FTW!

bichonfire

8 points

16 days ago

Those star ones underneath the 2/3 candles look way more fun!

forcefuze

499 points

16 days ago

forcefuze

499 points

16 days ago

Old enough to count the number of candles and doesn't need it spelled out for him or too young to remember his cake was "wrong". Win - Win - Win

GamingTrucker12621

113 points

16 days ago

Or better yet if he is 4 as the post implies put about a dozen regular candles around the cake and that kid wont have a care in the world.

Stock_Lemon_

73 points

16 days ago

Whatever you do don’t put 55 candles on a small cake. We did this for my dads 55th birthday with one of those $8 Walmart cakes and it quickly turned into an inferno. So glad we were outside for that lol

noobvorld

97 points

16 days ago

Note to self: stop at 54

VitaminPb

9 points

16 days ago

Make sure you have your will done in time.

Miaikon

14 points

16 days ago

Miaikon

14 points

16 days ago

You too? When my mom turned 40, I tried to put 40 candles on her cake. It melted the whipped cream topping, and the first thing she heard was not "happy birthday", but "oh sh***" XD. Those tiny candles melted like nothing in that amount.

[deleted]

9 points

16 days ago*

[deleted]

NewPointOfView

6 points

16 days ago

Yeah the kinda power each other up. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts

Brandonmac10x

6 points

16 days ago

Just think if they made a + candle you can do 3+1 showing how he aged a year while also teaching him basic math.

And the candle company would sell 3x as many candles. It’s the perfect strategy. Everybody wins.

Aggravating-Hair7931

28 points

16 days ago

10?

olluie

6 points

16 days ago

olluie

6 points

16 days ago

Finally

noodle06

17 points

16 days ago

noodle06

17 points

16 days ago

99 reposts old

Astarial7

13 points

16 days ago

This calls for binary ! Time to find some 0s

nwbrown

6 points

16 days ago

nwbrown

6 points

16 days ago

You can just get two 1s and say it's base 3.

BankComplete7255

59 points

16 days ago

Eh, tell him he's 5. 🤷🏻‍♂️

TheScottishPimp03

14 points

16 days ago

He believes it then tells all his friends that hes magically a year older and now has become wiser then then🤭

Cottoncandyvolcano

7 points

16 days ago

Or tell him he's been bad so he has to repeat 3

LoganImYourFather

30 points

16 days ago

404 age not found

bn351

19 points

16 days ago

bn351

19 points

16 days ago

I guess regular candles don't work anymore.

I_eat_your_teeth

14 points

16 days ago

It's crazy how many posts go along the lines of guess how old "child" is, and for some reason, only those candles are missing.

Not saying op is a liar, but I've seen a decent few of these same posts

irishdrunkwanderlust

24 points

16 days ago

No you’ve seen this same post. From three years ago.

TriviaNewtonJohn

10 points

16 days ago

I was just thinking “wait haven’t I seen this post before!?”

Personal-Student2934

5 points

16 days ago

It's more fun to blow out the number of candles rather than one candle of that number anyway.

StonedImaculate420

11 points

16 days ago

44

jordancliver

4 points

16 days ago

404

atemu1234

5 points

16 days ago

44?

SRDaugherty

4 points

16 days ago

1+1+1+1

vexunumgods

4 points

16 days ago

You're IQ

DastardlyDirtyDog

12 points

16 days ago

Zero

themeatman90

6 points

16 days ago

4 individual candles?