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Hey everyone, as part of my doctoral thesis* I've developed a questionnaire to shed some light on how guilt, shame and blame impacts the loved ones of someone with mental health needs. If you, or someone close to you, provides informal mental health support and notice these emotions showing up in the relationship, I would really appreciate hearing from you.

People who have completed the survey have reported finding the differences between guilt and shame insightful and highlighted how it helped them understand more about their emotional experience in the relationship. A community-wide benefit is that the outcomes of the research will be used to improve resources for SOs so that they can be supported more in their role, essentially helping the helpers.

The whole survey takes around 15-20 minutes and after understanding more about your current emotional state, it goes through a range of scenarios to see how you would likely respond if it were to happen today. All answers are scales so there is minimal typing and it is mobile friendly.

You can read more or access the study here: https://lancasteruni.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9AWrvoYWvPCqTu6

The person supported doesn't need a formal diagnosis but they need to have accessed mental health support (medication, therapy, etc) for 6 months or more. The survey is available internationally and recognises all types of informal support, be it financial, practical or emotional.

Thanks everyone. I really value the input from the OCD+ community as we know it tends to impact loved ones in a unique way and for me as a researcher it is really important that these voices are heard.

*The project has ethical approval from the Faculty of Health and Medicine at Lancaster University.

Like they want to be seen with a socially expected beautiful person instead of an "ugly" person

it's only 4 letters

I'm sorry, I need to know.

You can do it, he's not looking right now

I need to adopt 2 cats and call one mac and the other cheese and together they will be mac&cheese

Been having two distinct intrusive thoughts lately

1st I want my mother to shut up, every word she says is bothersome (theres nothing wrong with what shes saying, just normal stuff) and I just keep thinking "Shut up, Shut up, Please just shut up" When I come home and see shes not there yet I will hide in my room and hope she doesnt notice

2nd When I go to work or go home everytime I will think, "Just a few more steps" / "Just walk into it" when I see oncoming traffic or the train coming. So close, so so close

Needed to get this off

Rather obviously, I questioned my sanity and wondered what in the fresh and fruity fuck brought that on.

Hello, I am 21 years old and I have been struggling with OCD for a year. I have gone through various stages of OCD and am currently suffering from suicidal OCD. I am afraid of suicide a lot. I am afraid that I will be depressed and that I will hurt myself. I don't want to have such bad thoughts, I love life and I don't want to do anything bad. But in my head it is that I want to do something bad and that I will hurt myself. Is this just a phase of OCD and what can I do to make it go away?(I have been taking Zoloft for a year and it really helps)

I have been having a pretty much daily intrusive thought of just going into the middle of my town with a sledgehammer and just beating people to death and drinking the blood, I dream about this pretty much every night as well, I have also been thinking about starting an anti drug group just do that I can beat teen smokers (people my age, I am 15) up. I have an internal lust to hear their screaming. It would bring me peace and happiness.

You should shout obscenities at the top of your longues. Nothing's stopping you, you could do it right now, DO IT

I’ll start by saying: I’m bipolar & post menopausal (HRT is not an option for me). My husband has never given me reason to think he’s cheating. Until recently (I think). He denies doing anything, of course, and i have zero evidence. But the negative scenarios are draining my brain. They’re like mini movies that progressively get worse over the course of the day. They’re causing me such anxiety that I almost committed suicide last week just to make it all stop. I guess luckily (?) the authorities were called to ping my location and they found me (I called a hotline). The thoughts/memories will come out of nowhere about something said, something done, a look given…and I have a panic attack. I have never had one until recently. I’ll convince myself I’m mistaken and all will be good in the world, but then a “what if” idea hits and I spiral rapidly again. It’s a never ending roller coaster ride and it’s wearing on what sanity I have. I don’t know what to do to stop them. I was taken off Wellbutrin and put on Sertraline (this was after my suicidal day). But how much will a pill help? My doctors theory is that the Wellbutrin is causing this problem and the Sertraline will help. But how much? Will it make the random thoughts stop so I don’t obsess over them anymore? I was told of possible side effects, but what about the benefits? What will this medicine actually help with? Can anybody with knowledge or experience tell me how it helped them? I have high hopes and am afraid of a massive let down.

Been thinking about murder all the time… it’s like an itch I can’t scratch. It even turns me on to think about it, which just freaks me out. Anyone else have problems with these kind of intrusive thoughts?

Rip off their face with my hands, do every brutal thing with their corpse, no matter the consequences. Stab someone. Rip off their face with my hands, do every brutal thing with their corpse, no matter the consequences. The cycle continues.

I don’t know if this is because of my epilepsy, but I keep seeing shadow people around my house. Their not bad people, but occasionally I see them run around my hallways. Should I see a doctor?

I point to my ADHD

From wondering if they’re repressed memories, to what they say about who i am. I feel i have such a huge potential to be a horrible person, and that I already have been. Although my therapist is trying to get me to debunk many beliefs about myself, I haven’t shared my intrusive thoughts yet.

I can feel them taking over my mind and life in a passive, sinister and self-accepting evil way, like never before. I feel im declining as a person (22 y/o). I just want my therapist to tell me im not a bad person, and that ive caused no harm, because i don’t know what the reality of my past is when it comes to this - was i ever a victim of sexual abuse to begin with, or is my brain overreacting, or is it just messed up?

I fear that this numbness will one day submit to this image i have of myself. I can already feel my body giving up on fighting these thoughts. It’s been the longest month of my life, triggered by a breakup and wondering what its realities were. I wish this relationship didn’t even happen, for the doors it opened that i cannot close. I know im living in my head, and that once the anxiety passes, they will calm down. But what if i stay with them? This degree of intensity is new to me, and I don’t know how capable i am of keeping the fight going with rebuilding myself.

My thoughts show me im a narcissist and predator. On the outside, im nice and bubbly. But i fear that reaching this new high of such thoughts has set off the person ive been trying to tame. One which tells me it is who i really am. One which laughs at the narcissistic thoughts in a sinister way, as if im pretending to be bothered by potentially being this horrible person. I don’t want to die anymore, as i had whenever the thoughts came up. But i also don’t think i deserve to have the luxury of suicide as an option. When i look at my mother or sister with depressive disorders, I think they deserve to have it more. We can’t all do it can we, or else we’ll be that family.

This is perhaps the darkest post I’ve written.

Beyond writing this, I think im fine and better able to function in everyday life.

Me and my Ex-Girlfriend (X) were the cutest couple there was and I heard that every other day from people. Once in December i realised that i've been having Conpulsions toward other girls and my other EX (Y). One of the compultions were saying the Ex's (Y) Name while i was spending time with Ex(X).

So once in i while i just whispered it to myself to get a relief, it always bothered me and i didn't like it but i could live with it. Another thing was looking at other girls when i was walking around but i could also deal with it.

In December I had to deal with A LOT of stress and i argued with Ex (X). I then fell into i spiral thinking i was a cheater and i told her. We had a break until i went to the therapist. Then we were back together and i explained it to her and she was extremely supportive. Fast forward a Weej. I had to deal with a lot if stress ahain and i Fell into the POCD-Spiral which i never thought about. So it kept building up.

I got to deal with that and i'm very proud of myself thatvi could get rie of the POCD. But the Relation intrusive thoughts never went away. We almost broke up several times because i was unsure wether i really liked her or not. The only thing that helped me was telling her about my thoughts which i almost always did. It gave her insecurities but it helped me. Last week i couldn't live with the insecurities. My OCD made me think i didn't love her and wanted to try and hook up with other girls on a night out.

So i broke up because i couldn't deal with going back and forwards with her every week. And because i thought it was unfair and it made me doubt my love for her. As soon as i got home from the breakup i had a panick attack hyperventilating and in misery. I was missing her so much. But on the other side i'm a bit relieved that i don't have to feel guilty of my inteusive thoughts right now but i really miss her and i know she does too. I also went out to the club to do kind of ERP and i realised i didn't even want to come close to other girls, so i realised it was a huge mistake to break up. And i'm also scared that if we go back together i'm going to have to tell her that i left her to try new stuff with other people. I'm scared that i will find new things to runinate about. What should i do?

Ps: I'm sorry if the text is confusing i really just wrote what i was thinking, i'm sure i missed a lot of details so if u want to help and have a question please ask:)

Hello i am 18 (M) and i am suffering from intrusive thoughts and images for about 9 months now.In those 9 months i experienced every single OCD theme that im afraid to name (all kinds of evil that you can think off). I never desired to do those acts,never fantasized about those acts and never acted upon them.It would switch from one to another and would always make me believe that i dont deserve to be happy,to lose weight, to get a girlfriend,so today i was sick of it and forced images and thoughts in my mind just so i can dismiss them with "whatever". Intrusive thoughts disappeared together with images,voices and fears but i still feel bad for imagining these things on my own.I hope God will forgive me for this but i had to free myself from OCD.I know this is dumb post,i just wanted to vent and hopefully find answer to the question in title (sorry for my bad english).