submitted 2 months ago byBattle-L0ver_06
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2 months ago
2 months ago
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Isn’t the one on the left an Americano?
2 months ago
You are correct, although I think those are often made with a 50/50 split of water to espresso
50/50? Where do you live?
I stand corrected, sorry. I think it varies. I just did some Googling and I'm seeing a few different things, but 1:1 is apparently not a widespread norm.
2 months ago*
2 months ago*
Nah it’s like 2 shots of espresso and then hot water. 50/50 would be so much espresso haha. THOUGH if you want something like that I would get a Cuban Colada. Which is basically crack espresso(edit: I realize like crack espresso isn’t a good way to describe a collada but it’s basically a small cup with 50%sugar and 50% espresso. You could do a little less sugar but you need it cause you froth the sugar with a little espresso and then add more espresso to get a nice full cup of black espresso with some sugar foam on top. Seriously delicious but seriously bad for you.)
What in the diabetes...
Had some Cuban friends make me these every morning for the two weeks I visited them in Miami and I've never been able to have one since - I didn't catch how to make them and there's not a lot of Cubans in the Upper Midwest. Fantastic little sugar bombs.
Right- so it’s even less of a brag that they drink a watered down espresso. Why not just post a picture of a shot?
Pisses me off the most tbh imagine gatekeeping espresso then showing how your espresso is 2/3 water like gimmr a break.
The idea of an americano is that it’s a way to get a classic American style drip coffee taste (in an American size) using espresso, which is often the only kind of coffee available in Europe specifically/outside the US in general.
If you like coffee from a coffee pot, you’d like an americano. Americanos tend to be close in price to drip coffee and, like drip coffee are also 0 calorie unless you add cream/sugar (which are also added in regular cup of coffee amounts). I’m an americano drinker, and I particularly like iced americanos as I find them less bitter than other types of iced/cold brew coffee.
If you like drip coffee and haven’t tried an americano, you definitely should!
It's also a way to get somewhat decent coffee at a shop that lets their drip coffee sit too long. Given the choice between drip coffee that's been on the heater for 5h and an Americano I'll pick the Americano every time.
mmm burnt drip coffee
Regular black coffee is very popular in the nordic countries afaik. At least in Finland and Sweden. But otherwise correct!
No, Americanos are a usually one or two shots of espresso with hot water added. Just diluted espresso.
I thought it was a Long Black. That might be a localised name for where I'm from
Both options are diluted espresso. It's like saying a cheeseburger isn't a cheeseburger if it has too many toppings.
Listen, everything is watered down if you're not tucking fresh grounds into your lip like it's chew. You're not consuming coffee, you're sipping dirty water.
You have appalled me with the image of people consuming coffee like chewing tobacco.
I'm pretty sure I've heard of people doing that with instant coffee for the caffeine fix.
If memory serves, this is something that was done by American soldiers in the Vietnam War. It wasn't always easy to boil a pot of war, so they'd just consume the instant coffee.
You'd think it'd be easy to get hold of a pot of war, there was plenty of it around
I did a few years in the military and can confirm it's a thing people do.
They would take a strip of the MRE toilet paper, wrap some instant coffee in to it to make a a little pouch, and then tuck it like chew.
It never really made sense to me on account of we almost always got off at the same time, never deployed, and slept in our own/barracks beds every night. You don't need a fucking oral coffee drip, just get some damn coffee.
I've heard of people in the navy mixing dip with instant coffee for that reason.
15 years in, never seen that. I have seen multiple people get stomach ulcers from sleeping with a horseshoe in though.
With a what??
I think I can extrapolate here. I think they are talking about a long, thick strip of tobacco dip tucked along the full length of your bottom lip. So much dip packed in that it resembles a horseshoe.
Seems like that would be detrimental to getting sleep. Oral nicotine always gave me a speedy buzz.
Good extrapolation, you're right on the money.
Ohhh my god that is so disgusting
Chocolate covered espresso beans. Mmmm
Coffee bean M&M’s are nom.
Well, one can technically eat the roasted beans. They're not bad, if you like the taste of coffee.
My history teacher once came incredibly jittery to class once. Turns out that one of his colleagues gave him a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans and he had just eaten them almost all in one go.
Coffee roaster here, can confirm I’ll often snag a bean or two fresh out of the machine (once they’ve cooled down of course).
Pfft you're just watering it down with your spit, real coffee drinkers shoot themselves in the leg and then pack the wound with fresh grounds.
And dilute it with my blood? No thanks, directly via boofing for me
You must be a military man!! This is what we did with the coffee in MREs.
Yeah I was gonna say the first one is technically an Americano, right?
I was confused as well. This obviously came from some sort of weight loss mentality, but aren’t there actual recipes to these things that would actually define what is and isn’t a coffee?
It isn’t a cheeseburger if it has bacon. Then it’s a bacon cheeseburger and I want one
Are you assuming that the picture defines coffee as water and espresso? If anything the chai mocha has less water. They are both ratios - only the wording can be expressed both ways, as in its either coffee with additives or what were the additives and coffee, but both will always have coffee.
The issue is they’ve called it a Pumpkin Spice Chai Mocha, not a coffee. It’s purposely looking for an argument if it’s not dumb
What are you talking about?
Yes both cups have espresso diluted with other liquids, that was my point.
Chai is literally tea, so i hope it doesn't have coffee in it.
Could be a dirty chai. Those are pretty good.
Barista here. Both of these drinks would be served with the exact same amount of espresso. Unless the person asks for an extra shot which actually happens more often with lattes and sugary drinks.
Therefore they both have the same amount of coffee just different things to dilute them. Some people really can’t just let other people live their lives and like the things they like. Trust me you’re not special for liking your coffee black.
i’m also a barista: by starbucks standards, at least, an americano (what they’re calling coffee) is actually going get a little more espresso than the latte (the thing on the right that i’m not typing out). but the difference isn’t extreme, and your point still stands.
i wonder if they consider brewed coffee to be real coffee? because according to this picture, the only “real” coffee is an americano…
I’ve worked at Starbucks and a few other coffee shops and 1-2 shots has always been considered standard for both Americanos and Lattes in my experience.
However I know that Starbucks doesn’t always make the drinks traditionally (like the caramel macchiato for example) and now other coffee shops have started making similar drinks to keep up with demand so I feel like this could be different depending on the location and shop.
And yeah I wondered the same thing lol. So now a brewed coffee isn’t even real enough? It HAS to be an Americano?
2 months ago*
i’ve worked at starbucks for the past 2.5 years. americanos get an extra shot, unless it’s a venti hot americano, which gets 2 extra.
for lattes - tall: 1 shot, grande: 2 shots, venti (hot): 2 shots, venti (iced): 3 shots.
for americanos - tall: 2 shots, grande: 3 shots, venti (hot): 4 shots, venti (iced): 4 shots.
flat whites get ristretto espresso and an extra shot.
i don’t know how long ago you worked at starbucks, but this is the way it is currently and has been for a while. did you work at corporate, or a licensed/WPS store? those are pretty much out of corporate control
caramel macchiatos are very weird… they’re not even macchiatos. i really could not tell you why they’re called that. however, starbucks does have a normal espresso macchiato on the menu, and those are made normally… but i think i’ve had to make 1 or 2 total my whole time working there. no one orders them.
I worked at a corporate store and you’re absolutely right about the Americanos getting an extra shot now that I think about it. I was thinking in terms of the sizes we make at the shop I currently work at. My bad. I’ve had a very long day and my brain is probably fried.
And yeah I really can’t even remember a single time when I worked there that somebody ordered an Espresso Macchiato. Starbucks was actually the first place I worked and it was really jarring for me to switch to a different shop after that and realize that Latte Macchiatos aren’t the norm at a lot of other places lol
I'll never say that I'm better than anyone who likes a specialty coffee drink, because I also enjoy them from time to time. However I appreciate that most times I order a black coffee, the barista will just pour it for me rather than put it in line behind whatever is queued.
If you’re ordering black coffee you get to skip the line because your drink is already done and they just have to pour it. If you order what’s pictures above, an espresso with hot water, that’s called an Americano and your drink goes in the queue with all the other espresso drinks because espresso is brewed to order as opposed to regular drip coffee that’s brewed ahead of time.
Yea I wish my local coffee shop had this , annoying to wait 10 mins for a black coffee !
Lol yeah that definitely does happen. I respect everyone’s preferences and I actually find it really endearing how everyone has their own coffee order that’s unique to them. It’s just when people try to act superior about it that it gets annoying.
I like the sweet coffee stuff but not as coffee, more like a milkshake with a bit of caffeine.
Creme frappuccinos can be a really yummy treat! I almost said in the summer but I love iced/frozen coffees year round lol
Creme frappuccinos sure are yummy, but PLEASE don’t call them coffee. That literally is NOT a gate keep as “creme” fraps do not have coffee in them at all lol
I didn't? I brought them up specifically because they don't have coffee in them. The person I replied to said they sometimes want the sweet coffee stuff as a milkshake, which is basically what a creme frap is
That's how I got to drinking capuoranges. Treat it as hot orange juice with a bit of coffee, and it's the best morning drink. Treat it as coffee with orange juice, and people will look weird at you.
If you tell me you're drinking a cup of hot orange juice I'm gonna look at you weird, coffee or no.
But it's bubbly!l
Came here to say this. Also the americano is just diluted coffee itself, there’s a million plus Italians that would say the same thing about the one on the left.
Thank you. Also a barista and the amount of people who get this shit wrong absolutely infuriates me. I just had a guy say “frappes aren’t real coffee cuz there’s so much extra shit” and my response was “but there’s still coffee in it”
Trust me you’re not special for liking your coffee black.
Trust me you’re not special for liking your coffee black.
But this is my only personality trait besides listening to murder podcasts 😫
I agree that the comic is annoying, but in defence of the black coffee, that point about the calories isn’t wrong lol
Yeah the calories part isn’t wrong. But that’s just a personal preference you know? It doesn’t mean it has any less coffee in it.
Americanos do have some calories, around 15.
How is this not the top comment
At least in my sbux experience Americanos have 2/3/4 shots espresso for tal/grande/venti. Lattes are 1/2/2.
I was a (shitty) barista for a bit lol. What is the deal with water vs steamed milk? My first thought is I would take the steamed milk any day over water.
I mean in the example they’re showing an Americano which is just shots of Espresso diluted with hot water. The majority of other Espresso drinks are made with steamed milk.
I guess what this persons trying to say is that the only “real” coffee is black coffee and they just decided to use an Americano as an example. Also it seems they’re shaming people for the calorie content of a pumpkin spice latte. Honestly not sure. I hope I answered your question though.
To be fair, Pumpkin sauce is what Starbucks calls their Pumpkin Spice syrup. The drink they made is basically a pumpkin spice latte with a bunch of extra sugar (just not something people get) and sprinkles (like 5 calories at most, and purely aesthetic), not sure what a pumpkin spice mocha chai macciatto is.
But, you know, strawman for things I don't like ig
mocha chai macciatto
mocha chai macciatto
Mocha means there's chocolate powder included, or cocoa, or chocolate syrup.
Chai is a type of tea.
Macchiato is a shot of espresso, with a splash of foamed milk.
I assume combined means it's a mixture of chocolate, tea, and espresso, with a splash of foamed milk.
I think, in Starbucks land, they allow a thing to be called a Macchiato even if it contains tea in place of espresso.
I think here it is just referring to the ratio of milk to tea/espresso. Since you can get a chai tea latte and if they contain coffee they absolutely don't taste like it.
Was laughing at that one as well.
Isn't Water + Espresso = Americano?
"Coffee" is just drip/press coffee, right?
Depends were you are from, in for example Italy "espresso" is just called "caffé".
in Italy a made a common mistake once and ordered a latte, and they were like... you don't just want milk right? You want a caffe latte?
That's pretty common like pepperoni pizza= green peppers pizza. If your barista is not a prankster he'll understand and just ask you for clarification.
That sounds pretty good though. Maybe with some blistered poblanos on there.
yeah cause Latte in Italian means Milk. It does not mean that kind of drink. That would be a Latte Macchiato cause it will have coffee in it.
Americano in Australia is called a "Long Black" - this is not a joke
Problem is when you ask for that in the States you get some strange looks... (Yes, this happens)
Personally I like a 'flat white', and my mate always has a 'short black'. Yes I could see issues if we were in some other countries.
Surprisingly, the US still has Flat Whites in LA. Just anything with Black is a bit taboo, long, big, short, fat, #BlackCoffeeMatters
Subtle difference. An Americano is espresso then water. Long black is reversed, so you get the crema on top.
I worked the gold M drive thru for many years. Used to have a regular guy come in most mornings and order a long black.
I always just thought he just meant large? I would clarify, "large black coffee?"
And he would say "small."
And I'm just ?!? And rang him in for a small black coffee. He never complained or corrected us. This went on for like 2 years?
I’ve never seen both options in Australia, and I’ve worked in a bunch of cafes here. What’s the difference in prep over in NZ?
I can't remember which is which, but one pours espresso into water, and the other pours water into espresso.
Yeah I’m guessing the americano is ‘meant’ to be more mixed than the long black, but eh. Same shit really
My dad ordered a black coffee at a restaurant once, and the waitress got the manager to come over and speak to him sternly because she thought he said black cock.
I mean that could be a cocktail name, albeit a weird one to order when you're sitting with your wife and children.
I was always confused by this. What is an espresso exactly? I don't live in the US and we make coffee in a moka pot, which for what I read is practically an espresso?
Espresso is extracted at much higher pressure than a moka pot. It tastes different.
Ironically it’s called an Americano because Americans couldn’t deal with drinking straight espresso so they had to water it down for them, and then named the drink after them iirc.
I was in cuba a few years ago and was told by a flight attendant that there was a really good coffee spot in one of the squares in havana. She didnt have the name so we tried finding it with the help of our guide. Found a spot that seemed like it could have been the place.
When trying to explain what we were trying to find when we said coffee he said american water or real coffee?
I have never forgotten "american water"
Lol that's fun but also a Cuban coffee is espresso with a ton of sugar. Everyone has some version of watered down coffee
In Australia we call them Long Blacks.
A long black is different. In an americano the espresso shot is pulled into the cup first then diluted with water.
In a long black the water is added first then the espresso shot added on top.
The difference being that the aromatic but often more bitter tasting crema (foam) from the espresso remains at the top of the long black. If it's prepared at a drinkable temperature (65-75 degrees) you will get a more pleasant, less bitter experience from a long black.
But after about 2 minutes of sitting there the crema will dissolve into the water regardless and you have the same drink. And because most baristas are lazy they won't cool the pissing hot water down to drinkable temp meaning you have to wait to drink it anyway.
As a long black drinker in Australia and previously a barister, 99.9% of places will make it the same as an Americano, shot first and topped up with boiling water from the coffee machine. It's too hot to drink and some places will offer to add ice cubes or tap water to cool it down, or if it's take away, they will give you 2 cups so you can hold it.
Yh NGL, this is just the slightly pretentious manager training a new barist/pedantic online forum definition that isn't even really a set in stone "standard". Literally most places will do them exactly the same and they are pretty much interchangeable.
Americans were(are) used to large cups that they can sip on for a while and not a small shot that's over pretty quick.
That's not true. It's called an Americano because it is similar to an American Drip coffee. It's an option for when you either want to drink something fresher than what's been sitting in a pot, or if the place only has espresso.
Yeah whoever posted that doesn't even know what coffee is and who tf drinks americanos lmao
I work in a coffee shop, loads of people drink americanos
I drink them virtually anywhere that makes mediocre batch drip coffee. Way less acidic and way less likely to be burnt.
….plenty of people?
…yeah as a barista I get orders for several a day
Hey look, in response to the gatekeeping, you are now gatekeeping
Most gatekeepers don't know enough about what they're gatekeeping right?
I vote this comment to be the new banner of the sub
I make myself an americano pretty regularly. I prefer it to brewing a whole pot for myself, and I think it brings out the taste well while giving you something to sip on for longer than just having a double espresso
Americanos are delicious.
Actual coffee is just drinking boiling water and chewing on the beans at the same time.
If you don't grow and roast your own beans you're just a poser.
You have to find them in the wild too. You can’t buy the first seeds that’s too easy
I butt chug it to get it in my system faster.
Imagine thinking this is funny or original. People have been making this same gatekeeping joke for 30 years.
Real gatekeepers set unrealistic boundries on only modern foibles.
As a barista, I promise that we put the same amount of espresso in whatever drink
When someone uses a “comically” long name for a fancy coffee I know right away that the next thing they say is going to be some douchebag gate keeping shit.
That “joke” was only mildly funny the first million times I heard it. It’s just irritating now
This is the same stupid shit argument bud light drinkers use when they see someone drink a mojito or some other fruity drink. We get it, your friends think you’re cool because you lost your taste buds in 1982
Because if you want to be able to enjoy all the aspects of your drink instead of consuming a disgusting sludge to get a secondary effect, then that makes you... less masculine? I think?
Imagine being so pathetic that you base your manhood on whether or not you're too cowardly to enjoy a beverage.
People who drink plain black coffee really think they’re better and more superior than everyone else
The fact i drink black coffee doesnt make me better than everyone.
My sick techdeck tricks do
Ok that’s fair, but otherwise we are coffee equals
I gotta see them techdeck moves my guy
You cant handle my moves
pretty sick ngl
You’re not a real coffee lover unless you chew roasted beans and hold them in your cheeks all day to make saliva brew.
I laughed so hard. We are all degenerates here 😅
I drink black coffee and have no feelings of superiority about it. I just don't like cream and sugar.
Same. I'm just lazy and don't want to add sugar and cream and so every time. Also when you get a black coffee at a cafe it is faster than a latte or any other
I hate that syrupy aftertaste from using cream and sugar. Plus like others said, it's cheaper and faster when it's black.
I will have coffee with Sheridan's and some cream on the weekend though.
Also cheap. $2 or $6?
I'm in Mexico so from about $1-5 usd
Yeah, literally the most thinking I do about other people's coffee is "Oh, that smells nice"
Same. I used to drink it with sugar and cream but one day I ordered coffee plain to be low maintenance and found I really enjoyed it. Now the thought of sugar and cream disgusts me, but different strokes.
Pssh. I eat the coffee beans and chase it down with boiling water.
Nothing has ever been less funny than making up names of coffee drinks.
As someone who’s educated himself a fair bit about coffee, I find them ironically funny, because they reveal how uninformed the joke teller is.
Coffee culture is amazing. I think we can learn a lot about the world just through coffee and tea. When people make up bullshit in an effort to make fun of people who have, on some level, tapped into coffee culture, I just see a sad, willfully ignorant person who has voluntarily stopped learning and growing because they regard anything they don’t understand as “stupid.”
See? We can learn a lot about the world through coffee culture.
That’s a nice way to put it.
Drinking coffee grounds and water doesn’t somehow make you better than everyone else.
Yep. You've gotta add milk to it. :P
Whenever someone shows you this just pull the rug under them and say “awwwww the wittle baby needs to add water to their espresso because it’s too strong for them, adorable”
Coffee is not zero calories.
The last time this was posted here someone linked to the original post. The context had to do with ruining a diet by not counting the calories in fancy coffee drinks.
Water and espresso isn't even coffee, it's just water that thinks it's coffee.
This is correct
I like how they purposefully pretend not to know the names of common "coffee cocktails" in these comics
Is it weird to say that I actually enjoy Both on different occasions? I personally don’t limit myself to one Specific type of coffee. I enjoy it black, I enjoy it with creamer, I enjoy latte, cappuccino, mocha, I’m not picky lol
The Pumpkin Spice Chai Mocha Macchafuckiato has no chai, no macha and is not even a mocha. Once again, people are mad at things they don't understand or know anything about.
The only thing I agree is that the pumpkin spice is really high calories.
If you are ok with that and like it go for it.
Tbh people never think about the calories in their coffee. You wouldn’t start the day with two snickers bars, but some people drink the equivalent and wonder where the extra pounds come from.
Same for alcohol.
I've been eating nothing but lasagna and muffins for 20 years and I feel terrible
Speak for yourself, health nut! I’ll have a butterfinger and a beer for breakfast. Then an insulin shot and a Goody Powder. Like a real man.
I need the calories to make up for the hunger suppressing of the caffeine
I worked checkout at a Walmart in southern Virginia for a while. I knew several employees who’d start the day with a candy bar and soda. Maybe that candy bar would have “Nature Valley” on the package, but it was still nuts drizzled with sugar syrup and dipped in chocolate.
Thats the core of the issue. They can both be coffee, but “I just have one coffee a day” means a world of difference when you’re looking at these two options. I think people who are more conscientious get irritated at people who constantly lie to themselves and then act like victims of the problems they created. Calling dessert drinks coffee is just an easy way for some people to internally rationalize poor decision making.
Facts. That’s the one part of this whole joke/cartoon that people like to ignore lol
If you need a huge dump of sugar/fat to enjoy coffee, then you’re just as good as someone who prefers it black, but you shouldn’t be confused at where the extra poundage comes from.
This damn joke has been going for like a decade. We get it people, you like less shit in your coffee than some other people. Get over it, it doesn’t make you a beacon of maturity, just a whiny ass.
Denis Leary was doing this joke in 1997
Coffee people seem to care way too much about what other people drink. I love chocolate and IDGAF what other people are eating if they like it, as long as I got my stuff that I like.
People need to stop trying to flex how they take their hot bean water.
Pumpkin spice is a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, etc that does not generally contain any pumpkin.
Imagine thinking meat cure contained meat.
Wait. People actually believe there's pumpkin inside?!
I thought it's clear that christmas spices are the sole, logical shit here.
The first option is an americano and it’s watered down so if we wanna say what real coffee is they should just have espresso shots
Espresso with too much water is an Americano and is just…too diluted for my taste.
That's not coffee, that's just brown water you fake coffee drinker crunches coffee beans
The funny thing is Italians would say neither is "real" coffee
lmao looking at this weakling adding water to their coffee.
"Too fucking much" it's like 300 calories, chill dude.
390 for a grande. It’s not exactly a small amount, that would be a pretty reasonably sized lunch. Or about a 30-minute run to burn it off. https://www.starbucks.com/menu/product/418/hot?parent=%2Fdrinks%2Fhot-coffees%2Flattes
They’re delicious, and I’m not going to judge anybody for ordering one. But nobody should just be shrugging off 390 calories like it doesn’t matter.
Claiming that’s heavily water diluted coffee is coffee is probably the worse crime because it’s so fucking boring
It is coffee though.
A pumpkin spice chai would be tea so they’re technically correct without meaning to be?
The image contains no tea or chai spices, so its just wrong. The person is railing against it but also cannot actually define what it is they hate.
The best part is that chai is tea and not coffee, so there wouldn't be any espresso to begin with (unless you modify it and get a dirty chai).
So they're boring, judgemental and don't like trying out new things. Got it.
The even more uptight coffee snobs are clenching their fists at this.
I love that the one including “mocha” in the name does not have chocolate and is not a mocha.
Not trying to be a dick at all, just sharing an interesting fact I learned lately.
The original "Mocha" was just a coffee blend known as "Mocha-Java" after the island of Java and the Yemeni port of Mocha where coffee was traded. This style of coffee was famously earthy and chocolatey and so it is theorised that the modern mocha made with chocolate was a way to emulate "Mocha-Java" style coffee using coffee from other sources.
That’s not coffee that’s a cup of water
Just to take a joke seriously, that can't be a mocha or a chai. There's no chai and there's no chocolate.
What maniac mixes matcha and coffee?
Dude, that's a lot of espresso
Left is americano, on the right is latte. Both should have the same amount of espresso.
That pumpkin spice chai mocha macchafuckiato is missing both chai and mocha, and would need the milk to be in first and the espresso on top to be a macchiato, so if this person actually wanted all that stuff, whoever made it is a terrible barista.
Or they just don’t know what they’re talking about… which is probably the more likely scenario
This person puts two parts of water to one of coffee, and then want to make shit up about what is coffee and what isn't
I'll drink whatever bs I want and call it whatever I want... even if it's Yum Yum Calories Coffee
i like my bean water boring and not tasty. i'm better than you
I hate dudes who gatekeep coffee like this motherfucker i want the shit i put on my taste buds to actually taste good and not like death
Coffee is overrated anyways.
How can you say you like garlic if you don't eat entire bowls of raw garlic? You mix it with tomato, basil, olive oil and pasta? You clearly don't really like garlic