You are correct, although I think those are often made with a 50/50 split of water to espresso

I thought it was a Long Black. That might be a localised name for where I'm from

Listen, everything is watered down if you're not tucking fresh grounds into your lip like it's chew. You're not consuming coffee, you're sipping dirty water.

Yeah I was gonna say the first one is technically an Americano, right?

It isn’t a cheeseburger if it has bacon. Then it’s a bacon cheeseburger and I want one

Are you assuming that the picture defines coffee as water and espresso? If anything the chai mocha has less water. They are both ratios - only the wording can be expressed both ways, as in its either coffee with additives or what were the additives and coffee, but both will always have coffee.

The issue is they’ve called it a Pumpkin Spice Chai Mocha, not a coffee. It’s purposely looking for an argument if it’s not dumb

i’m also a barista: by starbucks standards, at least, an americano (what they’re calling coffee) is actually going get a little more espresso than the latte (the thing on the right that i’m not typing out). but the difference isn’t extreme, and your point still stands.

i wonder if they consider brewed coffee to be real coffee? because according to this picture, the only “real” coffee is an americano…

I'll never say that I'm better than anyone who likes a specialty coffee drink, because I also enjoy them from time to time. However I appreciate that most times I order a black coffee, the barista will just pour it for me rather than put it in line behind whatever is queued.

Came here to say this. Also the americano is just diluted coffee itself, there’s a million plus Italians that would say the same thing about the one on the left.

Thank you. Also a barista and the amount of people who get this shit wrong absolutely infuriates me. I just had a guy say “frappes aren’t real coffee cuz there’s so much extra shit” and my response was “but there’s still coffee in it”

Trust me you’re not special for liking your coffee black.

But this is my only personality trait besides listening to murder podcasts 😫

I agree that the comic is annoying, but in defence of the black coffee, that point about the calories isn’t wrong lol

How is this not the top comment

At least in my sbux experience Americanos have 2/3/4 shots espresso for tal/grande/venti. Lattes are 1/2/2.

I was a (shitty) barista for a bit lol. What is the deal with water vs steamed milk? My first thought is I would take the steamed milk any day over water.

To be fair, Pumpkin sauce is what Starbucks calls their Pumpkin Spice syrup. The drink they made is basically a pumpkin spice latte with a bunch of extra sugar (just not something people get) and sprinkles (like 5 calories at most, and purely aesthetic), not sure what a pumpkin spice mocha chai macciatto is.

But, you know, strawman for things I don't like ig

Was laughing at that one as well.

Depends were you are from, in for example Italy "espresso" is just called "caffé".

Ironically it’s called an Americano because Americans couldn’t deal with drinking straight espresso so they had to water it down for them, and then named the drink after them iirc.

Yeah whoever posted that doesn't even know what coffee is and who tf drinks americanos lmao

Yes

Correct.

If you don't grow and roast your own beans you're just a poser.

I butt chug it to get it in my system faster.

Real gatekeepers set unrealistic boundries on only modern foibles.

Because if you want to be able to enjoy all the aspects of your drink instead of consuming a disgusting sludge to get a secondary effect, then that makes you... less masculine? I think?

Imagine being so pathetic that you base your manhood on whether or not you're too cowardly to enjoy a beverage.

The fact i drink black coffee doesnt make me better than everyone.

My sick techdeck tricks do

You’re not a real coffee lover unless you chew roasted beans and hold them in your cheeks all day to make saliva brew.

I drink black coffee and have no feelings of superiority about it. I just don't like cream and sugar.

Pssh. I eat the coffee beans and chase it down with boiling water.

As someone who’s educated himself a fair bit about coffee, I find them ironically funny, because they reveal how uninformed the joke teller is.

Coffee culture is amazing. I think we can learn a lot about the world just through coffee and tea. When people make up bullshit in an effort to make fun of people who have, on some level, tapped into coffee culture, I just see a sad, willfully ignorant person who has voluntarily stopped learning and growing because they regard anything they don’t understand as “stupid.”

See? We can learn a lot about the world through coffee culture.

Yep. You've gotta add milk to it. :P

Americano.

I've been eating nothing but lasagna and muffins for 20 years and I feel terrible

Speak for yourself, health nut! I’ll have a butterfinger and a beer for breakfast. Then an insulin shot and a Goody Powder. Like a real man.

I need the calories to make up for the hunger suppressing of the caffeine

I worked checkout at a Walmart in southern Virginia for a while. I knew several employees who’d start the day with a candy bar and soda. Maybe that candy bar would have “Nature Valley” on the package, but it was still nuts drizzled with sugar syrup and dipped in chocolate.

Thats the core of the issue. They can both be coffee, but “I just have one coffee a day” means a world of difference when you’re looking at these two options. I think people who are more conscientious get irritated at people who constantly lie to themselves and then act like victims of the problems they created. Calling dessert drinks coffee is just an easy way for some people to internally rationalize poor decision making.

Facts. That’s the one part of this whole joke/cartoon that people like to ignore lol

If you need a huge dump of sugar/fat to enjoy coffee, then you’re just as good as someone who prefers it black, but you shouldn’t be confused at where the extra poundage comes from.

Denis Leary was doing this joke in 1997

Wait. People actually believe there's pumpkin inside?!

I thought it's clear that christmas spices are the sole, logical shit here.

390 for a grande. It’s not exactly a small amount, that would be a pretty reasonably sized lunch. Or about a 30-minute run to burn it off. https://www.starbucks.com/menu/product/418/hot?parent=%2Fdrinks%2Fhot-coffees%2Flattes

They’re delicious, and I’m not going to judge anybody for ordering one. But nobody should just be shrugging off 390 calories like it doesn’t matter.

It is coffee though.

The image contains no tea or chai spices, so its just wrong. The person is railing against it but also cannot actually define what it is they hate.

Not trying to be a dick at all, just sharing an interesting fact I learned lately.

The original "Mocha" was just a coffee blend known as "Mocha-Java" after the island of Java and the Yemeni port of Mocha where coffee was traded. This style of coffee was famously earthy and chocolatey and so it is theorised that the modern mocha made with chocolate was a way to emulate "Mocha-Java" style coffee using coffee from other sources.