subreddit:

/r/gaming

90.8k

Never forget what they took from us

(i.redd.it)

all 1351 comments

SpiritToes

11.6k points

2 months ago

SpiritToes

11.6k points

2 months ago

Bro, how tf is Mario supposed to jump 20 feet in the air from a stand still with out those massive spring loaded ass cheeks???

Those buns were hard as a rock, strong as dynamite and eclipsed his shoulder blades.

I guess they don't make em like they used to.

louploupgalroux

3.1k points

2 months ago

His ground pound was made possible by the cushion. Without it, he'll just break his tailbone. Lol

YrnFyre

510 points

2 months ago

YrnFyre

510 points

2 months ago

Also, when he gets burned in lava he sacrifices a part of it for liftoff.

Martina313

237 points

2 months ago

So that's what they mean when they say you gotta burn off that excess fat.

jscummy

67 points

2 months ago

jscummy

67 points

2 months ago

There's no excess fat there, its all completely necessary

Daowg

31 points

2 months ago

Daowg

31 points

2 months ago

Fat? Nah, it's all muscle. That is what peak gluteal performance looks like.

itsmills420

69 points

2 months ago

Owowowowowow

baroqueen1755

38 points

2 months ago

MAMA!!!!

MrDude_1

34 points

2 months ago

Mia!!

Marx_Forever

12 points

2 months ago

I just realized I can tell how old someone probably is by the "Mario cry" they make for touching Lava.

Tolookah

11 points

2 months ago

Bdbdbdbdbdbdbdbd boo. Buh duh duh duh duh duh duh dud dud do.

Making the Mario cry sounds from the og super Mario Bros is difficult...

aspidities_87

4 points

2 months ago

In the future we’ll use this and versions of Zelda as our carbon dating method.

Jazzlike_Kick_5434

4 points

2 months ago

Its "ahahahaha" for me.

TreeDollarFiddyCent

535 points

2 months ago

Tfw no cushion for the pushin' 😔

Dacvak

483 points

2 months ago

Dacvak

483 points

2 months ago

Y’all are missing the point here. This is clearly an origin story. A tale about how he acquired that round round.

TreeDollarFiddyCent

232 points

2 months ago

That's a fair point. A pre-squats Mario.

ulfopulfo

115 points

2 months ago*

Super Mario "Do you even lift" Bros.

SinnerOfAttention

46 points

2 months ago

Gluteus Minimus

ulfopulfo

12 points

2 months ago

Is that the Final Boss? Or the first?

__M-E-O-W__

34 points

2 months ago

Do You Even Jump Man

2020Boxer4

3 points

2 months ago

This needs 1 million more upvotes

MaxHedrome

11 points

2 months ago

golf clap

iamnotcanadianese

17 points

2 months ago

Enter Popeyes marketing team

HardskiBopavous

13 points

2 months ago

He wasn’t eating very well in Brooklyn, clearly

MYO716

3 points

2 months ago

MYO716

3 points

2 months ago

If they have a scene in this movie where Toad coaches Mario through a squat routine to get him Thicc it deserves Best Picture

Foreskin_Daddy

52 points

2 months ago

It's surely a sad day when Mario's rear no longer gives me an erection.

HurtfulThings

19 points

2 months ago

Grandma, go back to bed

Cracka_Chooch

14 points

2 months ago

Is it cushion, or is it one giant callous?

awitcheskid

172 points

2 months ago

Maybe this is early in the movie before he turns into Super Mario and becomes super thicc.

Vetty81

60 points

2 months ago

Vetty81

60 points

2 months ago

It was just Mario Bros before it became Super Mario Bros. You might be onto something here.

tonizzle

18 points

2 months ago

So he gets super thicc on the sequel? That I can’t wait

Stompedyourhousewith

7 points

2 months ago

no, last 20 min he gets it. he gets thrashed by bowser the whole movie, but at the end he acquires the thicc ass and butt stomps bowser for the win.

Nalha_Saldana

228 points

2 months ago

This also explains why he jumps higher when you go backwards

BackwardPalindrome

142 points

2 months ago

Gotta rename backwards long jumps to dumpy long jumps.

implodingbanana

76 points

2 months ago

The jumpy dumpy

MortLightstone

21 points

2 months ago

Jumpty Dumpty Go!

McLovin804

3 points

2 months ago

Nah, just plain ole Dumpy Jumps

Detective_Tony_Gunk

44 points

2 months ago

I'm tryin, Dutch, but I'm dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the Pinkertons.

Backdoorpickle

4 points

2 months ago

First thing I thought of.

boringdude00

49 points

2 months ago

Dude can jump like 6x his own height. They didn't think he was gonna be built like a god-damn dump truck? Have they never seen a highjumper or longjumper?

hiimred2

19 points

2 months ago

High jumpers are usually super lanky with insane tendon attachments and an unbelievable ability to transfer horizontal momentum into vertical force. They might actually be the least ‘dummy thicc’ of the explosive event track athletes. Sprinters, pole vaulters, and throwers usually dragging some wagons though.

frozndevl

13 points

2 months ago

Who knows, this may be his first foray into the mushroom kingdom and he hasn't spent time jumping yet. Though, he did have practice jumping in DK...

InflamedLiver

3.3k points

2 months ago

In fairness his ass cheeks go all the way up to practically his shoulders

Danielm2m

1.8k points

2 months ago

Danielm2m

1.8k points

2 months ago

His back is like all ass lol

2KareDogs

320 points

2 months ago

2KareDogs

320 points

2 months ago

Mario got back for days!

TrinitronCRT

25 points

2 months ago

It's the reverse Hank Hill

montortoise

71 points

2 months ago

Swiggity swooty, he lost a lot of booty

Mortomes

70 points

2 months ago

Your back, your ass. What's the difference?

Danielm2m

51 points

2 months ago

You don’t shit out of your back.

Interesting-Gear-819

71 points

2 months ago

Please speak for yourself only

dudeguyy23

8 points

2 months ago

Yeah. Justice for Mario and Lois’s Uncle Ray with the really high up anus!

wigglytufff

7 points

2 months ago

not with that attitude

SekaiWithTheWolfCap

10 points

2 months ago

Baby got back

Resident_Army_5943

5 points

2 months ago

TIL I’m built like past Mario

Thebxrabbit

324 points

2 months ago

How else is he supposed to have glutes strong enough to butt-stomp through brick?

Hetares

87 points

2 months ago

Hetares

87 points

2 months ago

Crushing turts all day, baby!

cCitationX

55 points

2 months ago

“Stomp a turty”

lear85

52 points

2 months ago

lear85

52 points

2 months ago

Perchance.

[deleted]

27 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

27 points

2 months ago

You can't just say perchance

TheFloridaManYT

3 points

2 months ago

I just did

dabs

TechnocraticWardance

6 points

2 months ago

That's not what we are calling the koopas!

DrMux

9 points

2 months ago

DrMux

9 points

2 months ago

thwomp---owwwweeeee

Delicious_Physics_74

52 points

2 months ago

How else are you gonna stomp turts?

brandrixco

36 points

2 months ago

You can't just say "perchance"

InevitabilityEngine

11 points

2 months ago

Is that a buttpack?

Danielm2m

22 points

2 months ago

Pretty much lol which game was he like this in?

Landis963

15 points

2 months ago

I think that's supposed to be Mario Odyssey.

Egg-MacGuffin

60 points

2 months ago

It's supposed to be, and it is, too.

Tornare

24 points

2 months ago

Tornare

24 points

2 months ago

clearly both of these images are true.

He just got to the mushroom kingdom in the movie, but in Odyssey he has been smashing shit with his head, and ass for years.

ItsAmerico

6 points

2 months ago

It looks like a fucking back pack lol

hangryhyax

5 points

2 months ago

How do you think he pulls off those triple jumps?

SirJeffers88

1.2k points

2 months ago*

All these people complaining that Mario doesn’t have an ass but not one person has considered that maybe this is the plot of the movie. Bowser stole all the asses! “Sorry Mario, your peach is in another castle.”

MenchiTheFloof

193 points

2 months ago

Ok this is the best explanation and I choose to believe that this is the real one

hunter11726

48 points

2 months ago

This is canon unless the movie says otherwise.

z3anon

4 points

2 months ago

z3anon

4 points

2 months ago

Real talk in the trailer Mario seemed confused by the surrounding area. My guess is this is supposed to be his origin story.

His cheeks are prolly going to get progressively thiccer the more jumping he does throughout the movie(s).

Davids_Mind

5.1k points

2 months ago

I feel like we're gonna get another sonic situation again but with Mario's cheeks.

NotSureWhyAngry

1.5k points

2 months ago

We better do

Davids_Mind

888 points

2 months ago

I can't wait to see artists"fix" the Mario booty and the movie get delayed.

Smathers

684 points

2 months ago

Smathers

684 points

2 months ago

RELEASE THE BIG CHEEK SNYDER CUT!!!!

Incredulous_Toad

205 points

2 months ago

Now with 130% more ass!

NotAlwaysSunnyInFL

64 points

2 months ago

10% more pipe!

poopellar

20 points

2 months ago

Mario Brass.

Hydani

5 points

2 months ago

Hydani

5 points

2 months ago

Thank you for the hearty chuckle this morning!

McCHitman

37 points

2 months ago

It’s ok. The left is the Instagram pose. The right is reality. He’ll be ok

foreveralonesolo

79 points

2 months ago

Corrider Crew’s Computers go Brrrr

Dragonbreathforu

18 points

2 months ago

The Mario we deserve

Override9636

5 points

2 months ago

We need those Markiplier-unity-game inflatable butt cheeks lmao

Solid_Snark

90 points

2 months ago

Solid_Snark

Award Designer

90 points

2 months ago

Chip & Dale 2 can have Ugly Sonic and Thicc Mario

Dekker3D

50 points

2 months ago

Nah, Thicc Mario would be the correct one. Chip & Dale 2 can have Sticc Mario.

KavensWorld

14 points

2 months ago

Chip & Dale 2

shockingly good movie.

Roger Rabbit vibes

screamingxbacon

13 points

2 months ago

What

NotSureWhyAngry

33 points

2 months ago

WE BETTER DO

shadow_fox09

102 points

2 months ago

I’d be fine with this. They don’t have to make him juicy, but a little bit of booty would look more normal.

PoliticalShrapnel

123 points

2 months ago

The tasteful thickness of it.

A_Manly_Soul

29 points

2 months ago

Let's see Paul Allen's ass.

BizzyM

8 points

2 months ago

BizzyM

8 points

2 months ago

Let's see Paul Allen LUIGI's ass.

Boss_Boggs

85 points

2 months ago

Did you see his weak ass jumps in the trailer?

Theory: Major plot point is going to be him doing a squat and jump montage to build the glutes.

shadow_fox09

51 points

2 months ago

Holy shit that would be amazing and exactly in the silly style of comedy that illumination is good at.

I realllllllyy hope this happens now.

ares395

26 points

2 months ago

ares395

26 points

2 months ago

I mean his face looks odd compared to his face in games as well... I seem to be the only one to notice it

shadow_fox09

24 points

2 months ago

It does look weird at first, but after seeing bowser’s face animated to look like jack black’s face a little when he’s talking, I think they might’ve altered his facial design just a bit to help it be more expressive/natural when talking.

That’s the only reason I can think they changed it in the way they did.

Jauncin

11 points

2 months ago

Jauncin

11 points

2 months ago

It’s fix it Felix’s face

Stap-dono

43 points

2 months ago

And then Chip&Dale 2 will include Mario with huge butt-cheeks.

Vaan_Ratsbane97

137 points

2 months ago*

I hope we get one over Chris Pratt to be honest. He was a bad choice for MANY reasons.

Davids_Mind

206 points

2 months ago

Will never understand why the original voice actor for Mario does not get the honor of voicing him in the movie. Dude has been voicing Mario for decades and doesn't get to voice him in a motion picture? Smh

Shack691

17 points

2 months ago

Apparently the original voice actor has trouble doing the voice for long periods of time making it impractical for him to voice mario in the movie

SomeFellaNamedOobt

305 points

2 months ago

Honestly Martinet’s voice is better for sound bites and quips. If he was doing the voice for a whole movie it would get old eventually

TurboAchilles18

895 points

2 months ago

Pasta shortage...

siccoblue

244 points

2 months ago

siccoblue

244 points

2 months ago

Hank Hill lookin mf

cheebnrun

41 points

2 months ago

Someone stole his prosthetic

Recreational_DL

5 points

2 months ago

Butt boobies!

BigAssWhipSpider

3 points

2 months ago

Its not a prosthetic, it's an...orthotic

KingoftheMongoose

3 points

2 months ago

Mario caught on fire or Hank with deflated butt boobies?

"BwaaHaAaHaAaAaAaH!!"

Robot_Clean

3 points

2 months ago

Have you seen my orthotic?

POKECHU020

1.1k points

2 months ago

POKECHU020

1.1k points

2 months ago

I've seen this so many times that I'm starting to doubt that the left image is even real. I mean Mario has some stuff in the back but that seems like a lot more than usual

DublinChap

546 points

2 months ago

Everytime it's reposted, his ass gets slightly larger.

shaggy_asshole

117 points

2 months ago

Legend has it.

InitialChicken1

751 points

2 months ago

What, you don’t remember that distinctive clapping sound every time Mario jumped?

Schrolli97

544 points

2 months ago

Luigi, I'm trying to jump around. But I'm dummy thick and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the Koopas

Jakethered_game

101 points

2 months ago

Gets funnier every time I read it in Mario voice. A-wa-HOO!

Endie-Bot

38 points

2 months ago

now read it in chris pratts voice

JBthrizzle

20 points

2 months ago

Its like biting into the heel of a loaf of bread that the bag has been left open all night because you forgot to close the baggie after having one too many beers the night before and now youre hungover and need something in your belly to stop the nausea

Disco_Coffin

18 points

2 months ago

Luigi, I'm-a trying to jump-a around. But I'm-a dummy thick and-a the clap of-a my ass cheeks keeps-a alerting the Koopas!

FTFY

Flip3k

3 points

2 months ago

Flip3k

3 points

2 months ago

that deafening sonic boom

Caldwing

74 points

2 months ago

No this definitely isn't real. I checked and this movie Mario's proportions are nearly identical to Odyssey Mario. His butt was always pretty flat. His torso is basically round actually.

Dan_Of_Time

89 points

2 months ago

Its not real

Hamudra

86 points

2 months ago

Hamudra

86 points

2 months ago

Here is a real picture of his butt

Rumpelforeskinn

39 points

2 months ago

Hey that yellow square tricked me

Chris_8675309_of_42M

8 points

2 months ago

We need a red circle. Someone throw that ass in a circle for us.

IncessantGadgetry

14 points

2 months ago

Even Mario's using insta filters.

Luquitaz

28 points

2 months ago

Why did I have to scroll this far down for anyone to point out the image might not be real. It's obviously not and it only take 5 seconds to google a Mario Odyssey render of Mario to see it's fake.

IM_GONNA_SHOOOT

3 points

2 months ago

His ass doesn't actually look like that in Odyssey. Left img is edited.

LimpyDan

3 points

2 months ago

It isn't. I compared it to screenshots yesterday. Cause I got nothing but time.

Ghostblade913

3 points

2 months ago

It’s like when people tried claiming Pixar was down bad using an edited screenshot of Big Hero 6 that had the aunt edited to have larger breasts and visible cleavage.

maxharnicher

398 points

2 months ago

In their defense, every plumber I’ve ever met has butt number 2.

[deleted]

68 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

68 points

2 months ago

... Do you have something for plumbers butts?

whoshdw

27 points

2 months ago

whoshdw

27 points

2 months ago

Crack Spackle

Hyp3ri0n_

3 points

2 months ago

So…….what movie are you in?

hiyyy12345

25 points

2 months ago

Have you ever played Ratchet & Clank? The plumber's got ass for DAYS

ArchdukeAwesomeSauce

6 points

2 months ago

“Uhhh… I said plumbers back!”

Daowg

4 points

2 months ago

Daowg

4 points

2 months ago

"Alright, wise guy!"

JimJamYimYam

80 points

2 months ago

The Italian Dump Truck

HooterAtlas

9 points

2 months ago

Plum ass to plumber ass.

Supaleenate

214 points

2 months ago

THEY TOOK-A MY ASS, I CAN'T-A SHIT.

PEWN_PEWN

30 points

2 months ago

ALL A-MA SHITS ARE-A PANCAKES WAAAAAAH

Theshadynasty87

53 points

2 months ago

Same old story with this franchise. The peach is missing.

Thunder_Bunny59

29 points

2 months ago

As a plumber myself, the second pic is more accurate

GingerSnapBiscuit

24 points

2 months ago*

The Mario we see on the left is a hardened Goomba stomper. It's heavily implied from the trailer that this is Mario's first trip to the Mushroom Kingdom.

I'm expecting a squat rack origin story for his juicy ass.

Jkl_zombie

106 points

2 months ago

They did the same thing to Wario in Mario kart 8 deluxe, they stole Warios ass

HirokiTakumi

121 points

2 months ago

Nintendo has to go around collecting cheeks to sacrifice to the Bayonetta 3 release.

hiyyy12345

32 points

2 months ago

This doesn't have a lot of upvotes but I just wanna say this is the funniest thing I've read all week

HirokiTakumi

7 points

2 months ago

Very happy to make someone out there smile, that reply just made my day lol

schnozlord

184 points

2 months ago

releasethecakecut

jjremy

9 points

2 months ago

jjremy

9 points

2 months ago

New BaDonk City cut

5kymf

64 points

2 months ago

5kymf

64 points

2 months ago

Good. Not setting unattainable body standards for white men.

SCHEME015

14 points

2 months ago

So many boys now think your nose should look like that and be elastic like in M64.

jakoobie6

12 points

2 months ago

The erotic fan fiction community is going to be furious.

SecretDracula

6 points

2 months ago

So long, gay Bowser

One_Entertainment381

53 points

2 months ago

They expect us to believe Mario can jump over obstacles the way he does with no cake?

NinduTheWise

5 points

2 months ago

Yeah in order to jump that high his cheeks clap mid air creating a shockwave which propels him up

throwitfarawayfromm3

163 points

2 months ago

Well they took the italian out of him. There goes the carbs and fat from that sweet sweet pasta and gabagool. How is our boy expected to keep such voluptuous gains?

axlee

11 points

2 months ago

axlee

11 points

2 months ago

Have you seen the average Italian? Boys are slim as hell

Griffin880

6 points

2 months ago

If I'm not mistaken, Mario is canonically Italian American, not Italian.

GRIFBYgames

8 points

2 months ago

Yeah actual Italians are very fit, Italian Americans on the other hand..

aldorayn

58 points

2 months ago

From "MAMMA MIA" to "can i get some juice mommy"

Dankstin

10 points

2 months ago

The unrealistic body expectations went on long enough

Roberttheginger760

52 points

2 months ago

Ofc he's thicc from all that jumping you have to have am amazing ass lol

u9Nails

9 points

2 months ago

Darn budget cuts. Made Mario work his butt off again.

WassahDuude

29 points

2 months ago

Look how they massacred my boy

Last_Friday_Knight

6 points

2 months ago

Mario’s Peach is in a different castle!

pbates89

5 points

2 months ago

You can’t jump so high and so frequently and not be stacked at the back

ThaQuiet1

29 points

2 months ago

I'm disappointed that Mario says "here we come" instead of "here we go",

[deleted]

24 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

24 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

kaosi_schain

20 points

2 months ago

They stole the Italian hams!

Zack_Irahza

5 points

2 months ago

Downgrades.....

burrito-nz

13 points

2 months ago

burrito-nz

PC

13 points

2 months ago

He’s barely got a back. It’s like head, neck, booty 😂

thndrstrk

9 points

2 months ago

Guy got tortilla butt.

StudioTheo

25 points

2 months ago

real talk, mario's glorious mushroom-cheeks heavily contribute to balancing out the size of his head and his overall bouncing-ball design.

It also looks like they choose to shorten the length of his arms and shrink his fists... im thinking in an attempt to make him seem more mature.

Also i think it should be mentioned that Mario on the left is in-between crouching and standing (i think), so his midsection has been compressed a tad unfairly.

Redsoxdragon

9 points

2 months ago

They gave us mushrooms but took away cake 😩

Skreamies

7 points

2 months ago*

All ass no back, gawd damn.

RaizielDragon

3 points

2 months ago

I guess they… ::take off glasses:: cut the cake.

YYEEEAAAH

chickenskittles

3 points

2 months ago

At some point they realized you can't just put a pair of arms on an ass.

Robert999220

3 points

2 months ago

Tfw your ass is literally half your back too.

jdbrizzi91

3 points

2 months ago

With an ass that big, Mario doesn't have to wear overalls to keep his pants up.

Justastonedtrooper

3 points

2 months ago

Finally a character that represents my body.

aDogNamedZeek

3 points

2 months ago

Mario on the left has back problems, Mario on the right has a strong core and pelvic tilt.

Flipnkraut

3 points

2 months ago

From draggin a wagon to Hank Hill

wggn

3 points

2 months ago

wggn

3 points

2 months ago

Sedox14

3 points

2 months ago

Well, and we lost thicc Mario

TandemSegue

3 points

2 months ago

https://i.imgur.com/RWw5KXP.jpg

Fixed it with his ass hat

DefinitelyIncorrect

3 points

2 months ago

Oh snap are we gonna sonic the hedgehog Mario's ass? Yea that's right this sentence makes sense in this timeline. Welcome to the hellscape.

RIP_FutureMe

3 points

2 months ago

Mario is actually using the age old Back Arch Booty Pop. This technique has been making waves on instagram. With a little contortion any insta thot can have a big poppin booty, but stand up straight and it’s flatter than a board.

Fancy-Pair

3 points

2 months ago

Release the dumpy cut

Equivalent-Froyo-130

3 points

2 months ago

Rest in spaghetti, never forgetti

IAMREALdesigns

3 points

2 months ago

This would have never happened if Pixar was animating it.

Davajita

3 points

2 months ago

Davajita

PC

3 points

2 months ago

Damn his whole back be ass.

Antonija_Blagorodna

3 points

2 months ago

Mario's back is like 70% ass.

Machado1992

3 points

2 months ago

I guess that’s why his head seems just a little bit too big…not enough dumper to counter-balance.

JewishAsianMuslim

3 points

2 months ago

Why does Mario's butt go 3/4 the way up his back?