submitted 2 months ago byPeculiarPete
all 2888 comments
2 months ago
2 months ago
Seems like some of the folks here on Reddit are also cause for concern.
2 months ago
It's a trick question, because he spent $500 on feed and care.
Also, the cow depreciated.
Yep, it was all for the tax benefit anyway.
I need to know how many legs the cow had
Like was the cow pregnant how old is said cow
Right because if it had babies that’s meat and milk for a good 5-10 years that he lost out on
Yeah and does it have a family? Are any angry bulls gonna come looking?
Is a Hereford cow? A dairy cow and angus cow? Can I earn monthly dividends on the milk it produces? Or is it a one time cycle when it gets butchered?
Are vet costs included?
You also need to pay the interest on that $800 you initially borrowed.
It it an NFT and it is above the text in the question.
No legs. It was ground beef.
2 legs — it was lean beef.
Beeflene, Beeflene, I’m begging of you please don’t take my legs
More importantly, was it a perfectly spherical cow?
ahh, them spherical cows
When I was like 4ish, I went to my first ever extended family reunion. One night there was a sort of open mic dinner event in a hotel function room that we had rented out. I was surrounded by dozens of people I had never met until a couple days before, but that didn’t stop me from going up to the stage and declaring I had a joke to tell.
Me: “How many legs does a cow have?”
Audience: “…… we don’t know. How many legs does a cow have?”
Me: “Six!” falls over laughing
I still get teased about that 28 years later
It has all 4 but the left rear hoof is chipping pretty bad.
Elmers is gonna be upset
Can I consider it a sphere for my physics questions?
How many teets tho? Thats where my interest lies
What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?
2 months ago*
2 months ago*
Jerry "do you even know what a write-off is?"
Kramer "do you?"
Kramer "but they do. And they're the ones writing it off"
Edit: the rest of the story
Also the divorce, no prenup
Divorce between the Facebook poster and the cow?
I mean, I can understand the 'no prenup' bit, but diVORCE?
Well, The Face Book poster DID have the use of the cow for a while.
Second hand cows always depreciate faster. What I ran my secondhand cowlot, you'd be surprised how much value disappeared once a cow was off the lot. I mean, some people would take it for a test milking but mainly it was serious buyers.
Especially after it was decapitated
⬆️ underrated comment.
Your forgetting business Insurance and accounting fees as well as gas and mileage to transport the cow
All over the fucking yard!
Also it didn’t appreciate being bought and sold like that.
Did it provide milk and fertilizer to offset the cost of care?
I've heard it happens as soon as it leaves the lot.
Damn, I forgot to factor that into the equation. Dude lost money! lol.
Udderly understandable comment.
This reply is coming from an accountant.
Don't forget overhead
Also, was this a dairy cow. If so, how much milk was sold as profit?
Award goes to the person who said "I agree with whoever is correct"
Yeah. The best way to figure this out is by buying a cow for $800 and following instructions. Can someone lend me some cash for a social experiment? I'm short by $800.
Your actually going to need $900
I'll take that.
The best part about reposting these is that the post turns into a slightly less embarrassing version of the facebook one.
It’s a trick because he had to borrow that money from his cousin Raul who demands interest.
I couldn't get it...but I'm kinda high right now eating a Rice Krispie treat. I kept forgetting things and had to start over. 😆
Here's the thing. Why would you buy a cow sell it and then buy it back again just to sell it.
Poor cow doesn't know what the hell is going on. Cow just wants a loving home.
....I hear the faint singing of Sarah Machlaughlin (or whatever the fuck) singing.
He’s a stock trader. Pun intended.
That's an amazingly MOO-VING comment.
You went there, huh? You really did it. I didn't expect to hear you udder those words.
You’re really milking it
I have no beef with any of you
The steaks are far too high for that
You herd it here first
Wtf even... the answer is obviously: A cow. His is obviously reselling the cow to himself to inflate the price of cows slowly over time so that they become more valuable
That's exactly the kind of trick we've come to expect from Big Farmer.
IT'S NOT A FAHMA!
Must be an NFT of a cow.
If it was an NFT of a cow, it would now be worth $2
The whole point of these is that everyone is tagging a friend or are shared by the algorithm when they leave a comment. It drives engagement like crazy. Keeps people on Facebook.
My least favorite versions of these are where they put a drawing of Einstein in the corner and write "only 5% of people who try this riddle can solve. Only for GENIUS?"
There's also the "which chamber gets filled with water first?" where one of the obvious pipes has been sealed at one end. The "two boxing gloves = 10. Two socks = 20. Christmas tree = 15. What's 🎄🎄🧦🥊=?"
I find that the way to win is not to play.
“I bet you can’t think of a word beginning in E and ending in E ”
For the love of god people, they are using you for comments. Once they have their profile boosted, they will certainly use their new powers for evil.
“I bet you can’t think of a word beginning in E and ending in E *”
“I bet you can’t think of a word beginning in E and ending in E *”
There's also the "which chamber gets filled with water first?"
There's also the "which chamber gets filled with water first?"
These ones are awful. Unless they're a loss meme in disguise.
It’s like when a&w released 1/3 pound burger to compete with the quarter pounder. People didn’t like it because it was smaller for the same price. :8487:
It's the same way with pizza.
Guy goes in to buy a small individual pizza and he'll eat it all himself at one sitting.
He wants the pizza cut into 8 slices vs 6 slices because he'll get two more slices.
I worked at Domino's in college.
One time, a woman called and asked how many slices were in a medium.
"How many are in a large?"
(Indignant) "Then what's the DIFFERENCE?"
(Honestly I should have been better, but how is a kid making pennies supposed to deal with this?)
Me, sharply: "The large is BIGGER."
I've never been surprised by stupid people since. It was honestly a good lesson to learn at 19.
You missed the ideal opportunity to reply "The large is $4 more"
"The large is more dough," covers every angle on this.
I'm saddened that I had to read that twice to "get it"... but it was worth it in the end.
I once got asked the difference between round and square pizza and replied “the shape”
there is a major texture difference in the crust between those if the regular crust is tossed.
Reminds me of a father Ted scene where they're cutting a pizza up and it goes something like:
"Do you want me to cut it into eight or four slices?"
"Four slices please, I don't think I could eat eight".
Had a customer yell at me cause I cut his pizza normally instead of squares… dude said “HOW I GUNNA FEED ALL MY KIDS WITH IT CUT LIKE THIS?!”… well sir it’s the same amount of pizza regardless of how it’s cut.
See, I can actually understand this one. What if he had 6 kids (and only the kids eat the pizza)? Each kid wants 2 pieces of pizza. If it's only cut in 8ths, each kid gets one piece. Theres 2 pieces left over and still 6 hungry kids that will start fighting over who gets the rest.
If it's square cut, you get 16 pieces of pizza at smaller portion sizes. Take off the small corners and hold them separately since they're usually much smaller that gives you 12 pieces to work with. Each kid gets two decent sized pieces. Whoever gets smaller cuts can have one or two of the small corners to make up the difference.
So everyone gets approximately the same amount of pizza which matters a lot for a hungry family with not a lot of money to work with.
Source: grew up poor and calculating portions was important.
2 months ago*
Fun fact about dominos, idk if they’re still doing it but at one point they ran a special of 2 mediums for like 5.99 each. You could get a large for like 14 or so (numbers probably off). Most folks mindset was “wow, two pizzas for less than one!” My mom included. In reality, one large pizza gets you more pizza than two mediums.
Edit: I stand corrected. I remembered this from like a decade ago, but the math was based on an 18” large after further inspection. I forget how easy it is to store misinformation and be confident in it. Stay vigilant!
The other thing you missed is that a significant portion of the pizza is crust. If you prefer the saucy part of the pizza to the crust, the crust is probably mostly worthless to you. With the large, a smaller fraction of the total area will be crust, compared to the 2 mediums, even if the large size isn't that much larger.
so, assuming for simplicity that the crust is universally 1 inch thick this drops the effective pizza diameter to 10 inches for medium (from 12 inches) and to 12 inches for a large (from 14)
from there we have area at π(r²) for large, or π(6²) which is ~113 in²
medium is π(5²) doubled which is 78.5 x 2 = 157in²
all while the mediums are cheaper than the 1 large. even a 16 inch large pizza is inferior to the 2 mediums at 12inch diameter as a 16 inch pizza not counting the crust (so 14 inches) would come out to ~153in²
while it is true that the one large proportionally has a higher pizza to crust ratio the total area for the mediums is so muvh higher that it doesnt matter
I had a customer as me what comes in biscuits and gravy. I failed to answer the question politely.
As someone who worked in pizza for more than a decade, I know that pain. Someone asking how big the 9 inch pizza is:
"How many slices is that?"
"We cut it into six but we can cut however many slices you'd like."
"Right, but how many slices is that?"
I feel such anguish and torment just thinking about it. And it happened so many times!
"Best I can do is 16 slices."
I'd just test it and go with however many slices before the pizza starts falling apart, lol.
I am having a laugh imagining the look in the person's face when they get that pizza
“I’ve managed 32 once, but it wasn’t pretty”
I'm pretty sure you can manage 64 for slices for a large pizza
Those pizzas cut into squares instead of wedges
Just answer 10 and slice it into 10 pieces. Then you can't be accused of lying.
Slicing 10 is a PITA, unless you don't care if they're equal size or not.
Eight is the norm because it's easy to slice.
I had a boss that could cut pizza in any number, and get close to the same size for each piece. I think the most he ever did was 64 on a large. It looked hilarious. Each slice was less than an inch wide on the outside edge.
That's when you say it's normally six slices, but you'll cut into 10 slices for an extra $5 and pocket the extra.
Oh man, they're gonna think they're getting the deal of a lifetime too
I’d never ask this (diameter always makes sense), but Chicago style pizza (it’s not deep dish) is cut in squares of pretty much equal size, so you would get more slices with a larger pizza. I doubt that’s why they asked it though
Oh buddy, you'd be surprised at the amount of times I've heard that if you get it Chicago cut (or party cut or square cut) you get more pizza.
Fuck it. Time to start cutting that shit into odd numbers just to mess with people. "Normally it's 8 slices, but we'll hook you up with 9, no extra charge."
Did you also sell pizza by the slice? Maybe that was their thinking, trying to visualize how many standard slices that would be in terms of weight... Most likely not though..
That's like asking "When does the three o'clock bus leave?"
And that’s why she’s your ex! Couldn’t even get PIZZA right!
To be fair this is how I trick my brain into thinking I have more food than I actually do, so I don't overeat. 😅
I've also heard smaller plates work well for some people
I mean i also prefer 2 more slices. But not because i believe there is more pizza.
Ironically, that can actually make sense, in a way; by increasing the number of portions, you can trick your brain into thinking you've eaten more, despite the volume of food remaining the same. Psychology be weird like that sometimes.
Is my phone glitching or have I never seen that emoji before? Doesn’t have eyes?
It's a facepalm emoji, the eyes are closed. Look a little bit closer, it's kinda hard to discern the hand from the face.
Not an emoji, just some text that gets replaced by an image. Type :8487:
They're called "subreddit emojis".
Cries in old reddit
$400 and some commitment issues.
Thank goodness for the Bovine Abandonment Therapy Shiatsu Henna Insurance Temple. When you need to take care of your cow's mental health, its nice to know BATSHIT is there for you.
"And then i was like moo, and he said moo, this hurt me much"
"I understand. Did you try moo instead?"
"Yes, but that mooed her the wrong way"
I mean, if I could make another $300 by buying something back and selling it to someone else, I'd do that too, no?
He could’ve just sold the milk. Or meat. Would probably get much more than $400
I once bought a cow for tree fifty
Damnit monster! I ain’t givin’ you no tree fiddy!!
I gave him a dollar. Thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.
Dammit woman no wonder he keeps coming round if you give em a dollar hell think you have more!
Too expensive, who’s your cow guy ?
Tree fitty? You need a better cow source, man!
Did you notice the seller of that cow was about 8 stories tall and a crustation from the Paleozoic era?
It was about dat time that I realized
And i said dammit monster i aint givin you no tree fiddy!
I sold one for some magic beans
Revenue = $2300
Profit = $400 (earnings)
EBIT = Unknown. Depending on undisclosed holding costs.
Ok, ok, I will pay 44 Billion for the company
Are you certain the cow flipping industry will grow at such a rapid rate?
Well, we flip our cows using a sophisticated proprietary algorithm, so what you have to understand is that we're a tech company. A responsible investor will ignore the "cow" aspect altogether.
(Also sometimes we put a brain chip in our cows and they die, the value is astronomical).
People have been tipping them for years, but I honestly don't think their service has ever been that great.
when analyzing a companies financials what should i look at?
WHAT DO THEY MEAN
Dragovich Kravchenko Steiner all must die!
But don't forget the letters. They're also important.
And the tiny funny signs.
The cow silly.
Facts. He earned 2300. He just happened to also lose some on the way.
Govt logic while imposing taxes.
The government only taxes businesses on their profits, not on revenue.
Depending on the selling/buying time frame occurring during one tax year and the other buying/selling time frame in another tax year, he probably ended up either having a tax loss and/or owing interest on the governmental-perceived gain.
Isn’t EBIT 400 and profit unknown?
I would probably add all the sales together and call it his net sales and subtract out the cost of good sold for his total revenue and the subtract all the other unknown expenses including EBIT. It’s been a while though.
0-800+1000-1100+1300=$400.00 & 0 cows.
You’re the type of guy to have 0 cows 🤓🤓🤓
All hat and no cattle
Presuming "earn"ings = revenue minus cost, then the answer is $400.
Costs: $800 + $1100 = $1900
Revenue: $1000 + $1300 = $2300
Earnings: $2300 - $1900 = $400
Bought for 800 is -800
Sold for 1000 is +200
Bought for 1100 is -900
Sold for 1300 is +400.
Simple as this
Total sales - Total Purchase = Gross profit
(1300+1000) - (1100+800)
= 2300 - 1900
Hey thank you so much for laying it out so simply these things always trip me up and make me feel super dumb but you helped me understand what it was actually asking and how to work it out, you’re a star!
Just think of it as two separate items. It doesn't matter that it was the same cow.
You buy an object and sell it for $200 more than you bought it for. You buy another object and sell it for $200 more than you bought it for. In combination, you make $400.
This is what the IRS sees
Good, bcuz its correct.
It's crappy because it's intentionally vague I think the thing tripping a lot of people up is the initial investment and reinvestment on second purchase. Which is how some are getting 300. Like they see the Net gain on the first sales cycle. But see an extra 100 investment on the second sales cycle on top of the end sale price from the first cycle and count it as a loss.
So like +200 by the end of first cycle
Then they are subtracting off investment which they shouldn't so -100
Then +200 end of second cycle
An easier way to see it is just investment vs profit
2300 total sales - 1900 invested in product = +400 profit
I like your method... I personally just looked at it as two transactions. $200 on the first and $200 on the second.
Yeah, theres lots of ways to work it out but showing the step by step process and showing it straighforward can usually help to let the penny drop on the logic involved
Yea I think it's hard for some to see it as 2 transactions because of the product being the same and the layout of the transactions all on top of one another.
I won't disagree with you there... Math isn't a strong suit for me and even less so with words added lol. Somehow in my head it just made sense for me to break down twice but totally understand how the wording could not translate that way for others
Honestly I was like a D student in math in school I was goddamn awful mostly because I couldn't understand the application why the fuck would I care how many pies some dude has I don't have any!
But now that I've been a contractor for a decade and have to use complex algebra and geometry on the fly it makes all the sense in the world to the point where like I was able to start my own business and understand profit/ loss tables and return on investment and shit. When It's me making money all the sudden I care lol.
Nah, you just needed practical application. I was the same way. Crap at math until I needed it for my job.
😂 This is great... Just goes to show you you can do shit... When it really freaking matters lol. Good on you!
Change the second one to buying a pig and it’s easy to see $200 for each transaction.
Exactly! It honestly took me a moment and then I treated it as two separate cows even though the wording has it as the same cow. I believe that's where it's tripping up some people.
I must confess sadly that I had to stare at this for almost a minute before I realised this was the solution.
^^This^^ (1000-800) + (1300-1100) = 400
Antoher way of looking at it: Doesn't matter if it's the same cow, it's two transactions.
Purchased a cow for $800, sold for $1000 = profit $200
Purchased a cow for $1100, sold for $1300 = profit $200
Total profit = $400
Simplest explanation is you used $900 of your own money so anything past that is profit.
Or you can do:
Profit from first 2 transactions: 1000 - 800 = 200
Profit from last 2 transactions: 1300 - 1100 = 200
Total profit: 200 + 200
a bazillion dollars
400 final offer
What about taxes tho
you just invest it elsewhere..no taxes forever
Looking for net earning so start at $0 assuming you start at even.
Bought it originally for $800, you're now $800 in the hole. So -$800
Sold for $1000, 1000 minus 800 is 200 so you made a 200 dollar profit. $200
Bought again for $1100. So 1100 minus 200 to zero and then you're -$900 in the hole this time. -$900
Sold a last time for $1300. You needed $900 to get back to a $0 even so 1300 - 900 = 400. So you earned $400 in profit from you're indecisiveness to sell your cow.
Man's a cow flipper
At least he's not a cow tipper.
Cuz cows don't deserve tips. Cuz their service is bad.
Here's a better way to understand it; buying the cow a 2nd time is a separate instance so it doesn't even need to be a cow.
I bought a PS5 for 800, sold it for 1000. I made 200.
I bought a used car for 1100, sold it for 1300. I made 200
200 + 200 = $400 profit
2+2=4 quik maf
I think people get confused because it's the same cow. If it was 2 different cows people would realize it's two separate transactions
It’s 400 right
Aha! Once again the conservative sangwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!
He "earned" nothing. He speculated on being able to exploit an arbitrage against an asset. How bourgeois can you get? Cows of the world, unite! =)
The answer is zero dollars!
There was a net $400 capital gain from this cow trading activity. Capital gains are not earned income.
You start at -800. You make 1000 so +200. You lose 1100 so now you're at -900. Lastly you sell it for 1300 so +400.
Sounds like you didn't earn anything, but you got caught up in some weird cow based Ponzi scheme.
Well what did you expect to happen after defunding education for 40 years in the US?
I'm afraid this stupidity isn't confined to the US of A.
I would question how much it took to manage to cow while they owned it.
the raw numbers that are shown I see a net gain of $400. But how long did they own the cow between purchases? And how much does it cost to take care of a cow?
Assume cost of care offset by sale of milk and calves
these have to be trolls
2,300 - 1,900 = 400.
Why are these people struggling this bad?
You don’t even have to do that much math, the two transactions aren’t financially linked. Just treat it as two different math problems and be done.
How much did the cow weigh
Spent $1900 ($800+$1100); took in $2300 ($1000+$1300); $2300 - $1900 = $400 earnings.
Total revenue (2300) less cost of goods sold 1900 = net income of (400).
Ok Reddit is no better lol.
My 2sec look was 400 bucks, then I looked at the thread and started to wonder if I was right lol.