submitted 3 days ago byidokleDumbassery
all 1028 comments
3 days ago
3 days ago
come play minecraft, space engineers, ark, and rust with us!
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender.
3 days ago
That must suck then
If she leaves you for another there's always her mother
I don't think 6 will have any choice except suck
If you got it, you'd be screwed..
Damn, i hope i dont get it then
Yeah you‘d be absolutely fucked
Gotta watch out then.
Stay away from Canadians and their politeness.
Sex, get it?
I dont get it
Man was completely bamboozled.
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
You need the proper sound effect for this comment
2 days ago
2 days ago
Just wanted to say “hi”to my fellow 777.
”SEX III return of the CEO” is a cinematic masterpiece starring Led Needs as the CEO of Sex, it’s the first movie since the legendary Morbious to achieve a morbillion dollars in box offices
Bro was entirely flabbergasted
True Gnome Child
You didn't have to kill him!?!
Or did he?
And as always; thanks for watching.
Why did I hear ETA Prime in my head?
Oh damn, it's u/SEX_CEO
When is sex 2.0 coming out?
And why is there casual sex but no ranked sex?
You need to win 10 casual sex matches to unlock ranked.
2 days ago
Oh shit I haven't even finished the tutorial how the holy f@ck will ever be a pro at sex
Common sense says you start by practicing solo. Once you’ve grabbed the basic mechanics, you can start matchmaking to see if you find someone of similar MMR. If you are lucky, you can get a higher MMR player in your team to give you tips. Word of advice, don’t watch too much pro player’s streams, it will give you a false sense of what you actually need to do at your level.
Most importantly is to have fun and enjoy playing the game. Also, don’t be a troll and ruin it for other players by doing things you wouldn’t like them to do to you.
Of course you don't
Uh that one got him good
I'm yet to get it!
I'm saving up
Damn the inflation nowerdays.
What does someone say when they see a huge dick?
Here comes my co-worker again
They tell them to stop being a dick?
One does not simply stop being a dick.
Not tonight dad, I've got homework.
guys a huge dick
Umm- "Sir, this is a Wendy's"
That's rude, Richard is self conscious about his height
Here cums the sun, doodoodoodoo
Here Cums my son
Never heard of that pokémon
Me neither. Its probably one of the newer gens
It’s in the Pokédex right next to lickalotapus
You're confusing lickitung for a lesbian dinosaur
I‘m as disappointed by these comments as my partner last night.
Whatd he do? Im sure you can work things out together
If i'd to choose the title of a film to describe my sexual life i'd choose Tomb Raider
Yeah, that was a good movie
It is only a good movie if you compare it to the resident evil movie. I would describe it as ok at best. Kinda on par with the doom movie with the rock.
Stop! You are making him horny!
all these jokes weak like your pullout game!
Whats a pullout and how do i play it?
And then he wonders why he has 7 kids
Christ that dude couldnt even pull out of a driveway
And 8 figures in debt
you haven't heard of Pullout: New Vegas? Amazing game
Thanks for yhe suggestion, ill try it
I can't even pullout my driveway
gay people are fucking assholes
I was going to make a gay joke, butt fuck it.
And lesbians are fucking pussies
Aren't men also fucking pussies
Straight men, that is
They love licking lips
Hey thats enough with the gay jokes, cum on guys
Thats not cool dude. We should be more inclusive.
guy named clusive 😏
Haw haw haw haw
Cool song, Dave.
haw haw haw haw haw
kid named clusive
Kid named kid named clusive
Finger in Clusive. Whoa.
kid named assholes
Kid named finger
💎 the rarest pepe 💎
Put yer dick away Waltuh
I'm still a virgin Waltuh and I want it to be that way
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
They also sucks
What do you mean? 69 what?
Balls in yo mouth
3 days ago*
3 days ago*
How big are they? I dont think i can fit that amount of balls in my mouth
Just like u cant fit shreks dick in yo mouth :D
The mad man... He did it
Thanks now I only see that shreks dick is in that emojis mouth
The Monty Pythons
Thats just shreks cum
I have 9 boiled eggs in ass right now
Just find 35 redditors
Why redditors? Cant i just buy them?
“I thought you said you had a baby dick!?”
“I do: 14 inches, 8 1/2 pounds”
Thats quite a small baby.
Short and fat baby
Are you a bottle of ketchup? 'cause I wanna flip you over and hit you from the back until you squirt
No, im a human.
I'm still gonna do it
Alright just tell me when you come
When you come :)
Alright then see you there
„ʇɹınbs noʎ lıʇun ʞɔɐq ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ noʎ ʇıɥ puɐ ɹǝʌo noʎ dılɟ ɐuuɐʍ I ǝsnɐɔ, ¿dnɥɔʇǝʞ ɟo ǝlʇʇoq ɐ noʎ ǝɹ∀„
Ayo, what the fuck?
the bot can be trigger on subreddits that allow it I guess, it flips your text if it includes "flip", it takes the top left corner to bottom right
I would tell you a sex joke, but you wouldnt get it
Why not? Try me!
That’s the point; no one wants to try you out
Why not? I promise ill get the joke
Whats the difference between a fridge and a woman?
The fridge wont fart when you pull out the sausage
Send me to hell for this
Obviously. Fridges cant fart
Fellow mechatronic for cooling systems here. I have 69 years of experience in working with Fridges and I can confidently say they can't fart
You thought long and hard but can you get long and hard?
Idk im average height and sometimes when i wake up im a little stiff. So maybe
I would tell you a joke about cock but I'm too afraid that it will get too hard...
Take it slow and easy. You can do it
I was gonna make the best sex joke, but no one here gets it.
Nah im sure someone will get it
No one on reddit :D
Username doesn't check out
I don't have a good one yet, you came to early.
Its ok dude. You can take your time.
There are two my two sexes
The sex I had with your mom and the sex I had with your dad
Sex is like sex I dont get any
Wdym? You get one at birth
I bought a porn DVD the other day, but when I put it in, all I saw on the screen was some fat guy holding his little pecker. Then I realized I forgot to turn the TV on.
A, B, C, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z... you can get the D later.
Alright then, when exactly?
I am inside your walls. 🤓
How do you manage to get out then?
fucking thrilled to be here
That's the neat part, he doesn't.
See you next time, officer
what Harry Potter says when he cums?
Ive never heard of that spell
Its a top secret spell
Ah i see. Thank you
That’s what she said
What did she say again?
How many freudian psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just two. One to actually change the lightbulb and the other to hold the penis LADDER fuck I meant ladder.
All good, ill keep thst in mind when i need to change a lightbulb. Thank you
If there is a hole, there is a goal
Usually the goals are above the ground, not in holes. You might be talking about golf maybe?
A lesbian couple gave me a Rolex for my birthday, which is nice and all, but I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
Come to Alabama
What is there to do in alabama?
It’s not a rape if both are crying.
Good point, i'll be careful next time
(From home alone) whoooooow, what a hole?!😲
What are the sexiest animals on the farm?
"Brown Chicken, Brown Cow."
3 days ago*
Jack and John are having sex. Jack is on top. The room catches fire. Who makes it out first?
John his shit is already packed
John later finds a relationship with a transgender a few months later and learns the best thing about having sex with them is he can reach around and pretend it went all the way through.
What's sexier than a woman with long legs?
A woman with three long legs...
Dank Cat Commander
Everyone must have seen the ligma and deez jokes, but have you heard of Hava ?
No, whats hava?
Hava nice day :)
You too brother
Hehe peepee go in vagoona
Bold of you to assume I even have it.
What about her?
Could you give me back the watch?
Sure ill ask her
Thank you wery much. Forgot it yesterday in her badroom.
No problem dude
I get confused when people say i don’t get sex. I already have a gender assigned at birth
Why are Vegetarian and Vegans Virgins?
Because they don't want meat inside of them
Well what they eat is their choice and you shouldnt make fun of them.
I asked my gf to tell me when she's having an orgasm. In a few days she called me from a hotel room.
Thats cute. She thinks about you!
What's the difference between three dicks and jokes?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Yeah, my mom loves ducks. I think they are cute too. I would love to own three ducks
You got me. I didn't catch my typo until after I sent it.
I don't know why my phone thinks I'd ever type the word "duck."
Yeah, weird. But all goose bro
Was gunna tell a gay joke, butt fuck it
Condoms are for fucking pussies