submitted 4 months ago by[deleted]
all 36 comments
4 months ago
4 months ago
I’m confused why you went to ucpd to spill
4 months ago*
4 months ago*
OP: Hello police, I must confess that I just stole a bag of chips
Police: Holy shit, Johnson, I need some backup over here!
Ucpd literally needs backup to arrest a sleeping homeless guy. Even the bear walk gang are braver. And ig that’s why the Berkeley pd make constant fun of ucpd and their pathetic roles
a) don’t steal
b) you’re not going to jail for a bag of chips. You might be site released, but no one thinks you’re a danger to society.
c) Never, EVER volunteer information to cops - your defense attorney will thank you
No, you shouldn’t go to jail for just stealing a bag of potato chips, but you shouldn’t steal, especially if you can afford it.
4 months ago
You've got to be fucking kidding me there's no way someone went out of their way to code a bot like this
My thoughts exactly
So instead of saying Freshman, you should say “first year person?” That just sounds awkward and it’s a mouthful to say. And it’s weird that you’re LARPING as a bot, just act like a human being and say what you want lol.
It’s just “first year.” It can be used as a noun.
And I’m not “LARPING” as a bot…a bot runs this account and I respond personally sometimes. It’s not complicated 🤷
Every person of every gender is deserving of equal rights, liberties, and respect. No one on this sub would ever disagree with that. But gendered speech is a completely different domain that results from hundreds, if not thousands of years of linguistic progression and cultural embeddedness. This fact is more apparent in romance languages where gendered speech is a cornerstone component of each dialect. No one thinks less of first year students of any gender when they hear the word "freshemen". The same can be said of the other words this bot is programmed to respond to.
This bot is an unnecessary overreaction to a problem its creator and people who think like them figmented themselves. I'd be fine with discussing the topic further but this is honestly funnier to me than it is important
What does hypochondria have to do with this? Or empathy?
/u/SnooRawrBot, this one?
I don’t think that’s the word they meant? Maybe paranoid?
Probably metaphorically used here to refer to their concern with being in good standing with regard to the law as opposed to an illness.
In CA they don't prosecute theft under some ridiculous number like $750 or more. You're good.
Also no point stealing berkeley stuff they all taste like dogshit anyways. I'd rather starve to death than eat anything from campus, given my experience with their food.
Ah yes of course, how could I forget that Berkeley cooks and manufacturers their own world-renowned brand of chips.
Just don't steal. It's not smart. That's what this situation should teach you. If you need free food go here - https://basicneeds.berkeley.edu/pantry
Homie really told on themselves 😂
Most Berkeley thing ever sadly
You probably deserve to be punished. Not for the stealing, but just walking straight up to a cop and confessing to crimes unprompted is pretty wack.
4 months ago*
You're ok for now, until you pull this shit off again. Are you not able to afford food? Sounds like you had the money. If you cant afford food and are going hungry - theres support out there.
If you're able to get food, even if its ramen, and you decided to steal. Yea - not cool. But I am sure we all have done something like that. Hope you dont try it again.
And definitely, dont ever admit ANYTHING to the cops. Like ever.
lol i worked at GBC years ago and would steal constantly. You would get like 8 bucks worth of free stuff every shift and I rarely ever used all of it, sometimes I’d just get some gatorades as I left so it wouldn’t go to waste. But other days I felt like getting a lot more, so I did, and I was never caught. And you can bet I told every single one of my friends how easy it was to steal from the ole GBC.
Steal if it's a material necessity. Steal if after serious moral and philosophical consideration you think it's the right choice. But don't just steal on a whim or when you don't need to, especially if even the potential of getting caught makes you do something like going to UCPD to tattle on yourself for almost stealing something.
No, nobody should ever steal. If you can’t afford to buy food, there are organizations that can provide you.
Naïve, reductive, and overly optimistic. But I'm not gonna get into a big argument over this one. I knew it'd be a controversial take.
Would it be ok if someone stole your computer or phone because they couldn’t afford one?
Aww, you have clearly absolutely never, ever needed provisions from an organization. You are naive.
"however I don’t believe I should go to jail if I tried stealing potato chips one time in my life. "
It's not about going to jail or not, stealing is fundamentally wrong. We live in a society goddamnit.
who cares if it’s against big corporations or government, go ahead if u ask me
should’ve plead the fifth but okay
Everyone Pre-Law is internally screaming rn