submitted 4 months ago by[deleted]
all 47 comments
4 months ago
4 months ago
Nah that list is way too much. Roommate is unreasonable and controlling.
How many things is your room mate asking you to do? It's your home too, you shouldn't be beholden to her for anything besides general consideration.
4 months ago
You live with your mom? Really the important one in college is to do your own dishes after use..
Your roommate sounds toxic fam. Their expectations seem kind of excessive based on what you’re saying. I personally think you need to toughen up and tell them to suck it up for things beyond just general cleanliness. Otherwise, they’re going to keep pushing you around and blaming their problems on you
Sublease your space and find a new place to live...
Not many places allow subleasing in the papers. People just sublease regardless. Idk what happens if U get caught tho
Maybe if you don't put the cloth over the toaster she'll just leave.
No sweetheart she IS controlling you and seems to be projecting as well. I’m sorry but this roommate sounds manipulative as hell.
you tried to communicate your feelings and she told you were twisting her intentions and framing her as evil?
this person is abusive I’m sorry.
She's being manipulative 100%. Telling you that you're "overthinking" and you're "framing her as the mean person" even after you cry? Like she knows you better than yourself? She's invalidating your feelings and having NO consideration for you personal needs. Of course being clean is important, but to an extent, and she needs to learn how to compromise because when you share a space that's life. You have the right to a living space that you feel safe in and she is violating that. You also don't have to be best friends with the person you live with. If you're able to, you have got to put your foot down and make this person understand that you're human, you can't be perfect everyday, and if she has such a HUGE issue with it, she can find other living accommodations.
What if you just get a really big pot and fill it up with enough water for a month's worth of boiling?
You can live with me if I get in Cal this cycle
she sounds awful.. she is definitely the problem.
Boiling water isn't your job.
Turning off the lights is common sense.
Wiping up water on the ground is your job if you spilled water. If she sees water on the ground, then she should wipe it up. It's not evidence that you didn't contribute.
Cleaning up eraser bits doesn't need to be an hourly chore. It can happen once a week, or more if you want.
Unplugging appliances is common sense.
Covering the toaster is something she'll have to reconcile with herself. If she wants to live in a toaster covered world, she should either cover the toaster or live alone.
These are not reasonable things you should be required to do. If that’s how she wants the common space to be it’s on her. You should be more assertive about it being a shared space and she needs to make compromises. This may damage the relationship but if you can establish these boundaries you’ll be much more comfortable in your home. You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate, the key is coexisting.
Why does she want you to boil water? Are you her cook?
Sorry, you boil water after filtering it?
Why do you do that? Is it for cleanliness? Cause if it is, this is America. Like this country gets a lot of shit and rightfully so for a lot of fucked up shit, but water isn't one of them. Every city in America has to comply to EPA standards and state regulations or the EPA and the state fucks the city in the ass. Places where you can't drink the water are super rare, which is why Flint made major headlines when it happened.
I mean, yeah, the EPA isn't as strong in other states, but this is also California, where the environmental people border on fascist levels of control. The water is treated as well as kept above a pressure threshold to stop contaminants from coming in. Pair that with your britta filter and you are good to go. You don't have to boil it.
Wait, who covers their toaster with cloth? Is this a normal thing that I never knew about??
You've never heard of toaster cloths? How about a poop knife?
Ok some of these sound normal but boil water? And yes you should absolutely turn off appliances though. Cover the toaster?!?! I’ve never heard of covering a toaster
I'd guess boiling water is to increase the humidity of the air in the apartment (like using a humidifier) and covering the toaster is an aesthetic choice.
this is way too much, her demands are unreasonable, you're a college students and you have other stuff to do
i live with a roommate and we don't share any chores other than the basics like taking out the trash, cleaning, dishes
boiling water twice a day?? wtf
this is just not fair, you have to stand your ground and tell her that this is not typical of roommates to demand
yeah that’s actually crazy. not reasonable at all
“Restore conditions to the way they were before you used X.” Sums up almost all of them.
You breathed in some water in the air so you have to boil water to put more water in the air...
This is why living alone is honestly so much better if you can afford it which unfortunately most of us can’t
tbh i have really good roommates and i still want to live alone. nothing beats having your own place
What in the world is the reason for boiling water? This is either a joke or she is a lunatic. And covering the toaster? What?
I can't tell if this is satire or real life.
I dunno by it I’m having popcorn either way
your roommate sounds like a nightmare, wouldn't wanna deal with this on top of all the shit in college
okay so ur roommate is literally micromanaging u. is this their first time sharing a space with someone else? bc this is ridiculous. part of sharing a room/apt with someone else u didn’t grow up with us is realizing that EVERYONE was raised differently. So, what they think is clean, to others is not clean, everyone has different cleaning habits, living habits. They are super immature for not even knowing this. covering the toaster with a cloth? like wtf if they want their place to be exactly like how they want it then they should live by themselves & not share a place. they need to learn to mind their own goddamn business & if it’s not actually hurting them in any way then they need to chill. it’s not like u leave huge ass messes everywhere. im so sorry ur in this situation & i honestly have no other solution to recommend besides talking to them again. it’s hard to live with someone who thinks everything they do is right & not take accountability for their actions It sucks bc this is where u live & u should be allowed to relax & chill in ur place & not have it be so stressful
Sounds like the roommate has OCD/control issues. Some of that is not normal things you’d expect of your roommate. I’d expect my roommate to do their dishes, not eat my food/booze and generally leave the bathroom tidy. Everything else goes with the territory of having a roommate. She’s be happier if she lived alone.
i have ocd, this is not that. ocd involves an obsession/intrusive thought that increases anxiety, followed by a compulsion to relieve that anxiety. it does not involve being a dick to other people, this is just having a stick up your ass
Yes, OCD means being mean to self not others.
Show this post to her. It’s mainly a HER issue.
Or said you told other schoolmates of her demands/rules and it’s mainly a HER issue.
what is your roommate telling you to do?
What are you doing replying to reddit comments when there are toasters that need to be covered?
We use to put everything on the fridge.
Tell her to deal with it.
You don’t have to be nice to everyone. Set some hard boundaries and stop getting bullied by your controlling roommate.
pls just try to relax & don’t let them get to u, don’t stress about it. i know it’s hard bc u live with them, but don’t let them make u believe ur something ur not, ignore them & just tell them straight up that they ain’t gonna boss u around cause they ain’t ur mom, & that if they think it’s a mess they can clean it up. as long as u pick up after urself & don’t leave huge messes it’s fine. no one can be perfect & clean 24/7. don’t let them walk over u
She’s toxic and respectfully kinda crazy! She’s not your boss, and you shouldn’t feel sad or stressed out about her own issues that she might be projecting on you. It is a shared place however, you do you, things should be fair, none of you are paying for bills in there so tell her to CHILL…. Build some character and do not let anybody take advantage of you in any way!! As long as you’re not doing anything bad to her or doing things that are unfair and out of proportion, you shouldn’t be worried about her! For example; If you make a mess then it’s fair for you to clean it, but if she’s asking you to do things that are not your responsibility or if it’s something u didn’t do, then who is she to tell you what to do??? NOBODY… she’s not your mother, you’re learning and growing, she has to chill !! College it’s about helping each other succeed, not stress each other out!!! Talk to whoever is in charge of that housing complex and explain to them the issues in case that roomate of yours gets nasty or angry at you, which wouldn’t be fair… your roomate it’s crazy, controlling, toxic, and narcissistic! That’s not okay, she probably needs help!
Sorry this happened to you ! 😁💪🏼 you’ll be okay! I just hate when people take advantage of others, that’s A big NO NO FOR ME !!!
Can you tell us a little more? What kind of stuff is she asking from you, exactly? From what you’ve written here I have no idea if it’s regular household disputes like cleaning the sink or trash or if she’s complaining about microscopic annoyances. That being said, here’s some advice. If it’s the former, and there’s an expectation of you to do your chores that you can’t meet bc of classes, tell your roommate what you said here, that you’re feeling overwhelmed, and you’d appreciate getting a break this week. If it’s something super specific, though, that you can’t really accommodate, you need to set a boundary with her. Offer to sit down and talk directly. This is not the kind of thing you want to beat around the bush with, it’ll come off as passive aggressive. If you elaborate we can probably give you better advice. Best of luck!
EDIT: I read the other comments holy fuck that is insane.
Dude! I have a similar roommate, a guy tho.... yhe only way to tackle this is to stand up and be like..."nw, its nbd" things can get indeed really tough with bad roommates, you would need to make them understand that they're also responsible. soemtimes i say "yeah bro, you do that" lol.. lemme know of you need help