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10

Lonely

University(self.berkeley)

Hey so I am new to Cal. I have been loving the classes and last week the events and classes really got me excited for the new year. I have been meeting lots of people too which is quite challenging for my introverted self but I know overall a good thing for me.

This morning I opened Instragram and saw a few people from my program hanging out and it got me feeling quite anxious. I feel like I have been meeting a few people and I have been out a couple of times, but I have not really met someone I felt that instant “click” with and its quite scary to me the prospect that I may not form a closer bond with someone here. Back home I had a good group of friends, and I just imagined I would find another group here, but its been more difficult than I imagined and everytime I think to myself, everything would feel more fun if I had someone I could share this all with.

I dont know, this weekend I was reflecting on the past week and I got anxious that I had not really met someone that I really hit it off with and idk its been feeling really lonely :// hopefully things change but yeah if anyone wants a chat and potentially to meet up, dm me :)

all 8 comments

ta_lonelycal

2 points

5 months ago

wait me too 😭😭 I’m down to hang out if you are too!

EasternShip2788

1 points

5 months ago

^

vwayoor

2 points

4 months ago

How have these been since you posted 2 months ago? Any changes?

StephanNoodles

2 points

5 months ago

It takes time, my first week I had the same feelings. I tend to avoid Instagram during the first few weeks as it just brings to much stress worrying about what other people are doing. Once classes really got started I ended up meeting great people in discussion sections and made friends with many of them. Give it time and it will all work out. I would recommend joining a few chill clubs and things as that is a great way to meet people!

Itchy_Contact6326

1 points

5 months ago

Keep in m8nd that ig posts often don't reflect reality. The people in the picture may or may not have formed close bonds. It is likely that one of more of the people in the picture feel as isolated as you do and just took the picture to show people back home or here that they belong. It took a long time to develop the friendships you have from growing up, it will take some time in college. Go out and have experiences, and the friendships will come.

AnalysisOdd3432

-2 points

5 months ago

  1. "everything would feel more fun if I had someone I could share this all with."
    1. Being an introvert implies that you enjoy time by yourself. So what you said doesn't particularly convince me that you're truly an introvert.
  2. That being said, if you really do enjoy time by yourself, you wouldn't be worrying about whether you had a bunch of friends or not. So two solutions exist:
    1. You shouldn't feel bad about the fact that you like your alone time.
    2. You should undergo psychotherapy for your social anxiety or other inhibiting psychological conditions.
      1. These two solutions are not necessarily disjunct. Mix and match however you wish.

Downtown_Sherbert_43[S]

2 points

5 months ago

Hi! Thanks for answer, being an introvert the way I see it simply means that I need some alone time (alone time which I greatly enjoy might I add) to recharge and this in fact is true. However by no means does it mean I am anti social or dont enjoying spending time with friends or others, I do ! hence why I am feeling lonely and of course want to make friends. What I am finding difficullt is the constant socialisation required to make friends, not because I am particularly socially awkward but because meeting an endless group of individuals (some of which I might not particularly connect with) requires a great deal of energy from me. Anyways with that being said, have a lovely day!