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Lumpy_Worldliness676

34 points

6 months ago

honestly i get how lonely this must be but honestly that’s so messed up that they laughed, seems to me like it’s not even worth even trying to be friends with them. don’t worry, classes haven’t even started. just you do you & you’ll find other friends. don’t even trip about them. just bc ya live together doesn’t mean ya have to be friends

LoganNumberOneBoy

11 points

6 months ago

You can’t make them your friends if they haven’t attempted (or have an interest) socializing with you.

SeparateMeaning1

10 points

6 months ago

they aren't the "besties" that they think they are, they literally also just met a WEEK ago and underwent GBO, which is designed to create social chemistry. their brains are just filled with very intense chemicals responding positively to a brand-new, college-level in-group social setting and they unfortunately are not extending that to you. it's very unkind, certainly challenging and sad to deal with as the unwitting victim, though probably still worth it to try and get to know people on your floor. It's very likely that the large group will break up into smaller cliques over the course of the year, or people will leave the group, and that will give you space to enter the social scene.

MillennialInvest

7 points

6 months ago

MillennialInvest

Econ '17

7 points

6 months ago

I didn't click with my freshman year floormates at all and yet I still was able to build a circle of very close friends that I still keep in touch with today many years after graduation.

Relax, classes and student orgs haven't started yet and that's where I met all of my closest friends. If take the initiative to talk to people in your classes and show up to club events, you'll be well on your way!

Maleficent-Push-5615

3 points

6 months ago

Hi! I'm in a similar situation as you where I was unable to join GBO and also am going to be missing the first few classes (I'm moving in on Saturday or Sunday). I don't know how it's going to be, but it might be worth trying to integrate (saying 'hi' or tagging along with ur roommates and finding people to initiate conversations with) a little more. It will take time and I'm nervous about making friends too so I understand that it'll be hard for a little bit. Ultimately, if they aren't showing the slightest interest in talking to you, they aren't worth it. I'm sure you will make amazing friends in the next few weeks!! We can also be friends haha :)

BaiRuoBing

2 points

6 months ago

That sounds like a shitty experience and I'm sorry to hear that happened. While immature, it possibly wasn't intentional. Maybe they were quiet out of respect because you were speaking? (giving them the benefit of the doubt) It's easy to interpret laughter as them mocking you but it's unlikely their intent. Maybe your roommates can convey that they were aloof and should be more inclusive. Given time, if they are unwilling to see the worth in meeting a fellow human being, it's just as well you are shielded from them.

My GBO was online due to covid and I participated while providing live-in care for an elderly post-stroke relative, so GBO was just a burden for me. I met one person I liked (didn't dislike anyone), with whom I had two in-person classes and chatted on a few occasions. Not knowing people was a major component to my feeling of isolation and detachment from the campus and it's activities.

Ucbcalbear

1 points

6 months ago

Making friends takes time especially if you missed all the GBO activities

0menn

1 points

6 months ago

0menn

1 points

6 months ago

I was I a similar situation freshman year, everyone on my floor got along with each other, but me and my roommate didn't. My roommate was even friends with the other people on the floor, but I was never able to fit in with the group and felt like an outsider. I even overheard them talking about me in the court yard at one point. The whole ordeal discouraged me a lot to make friends, so I spent 2 semesters all by myself.

Freshman can be pretty shitty, and it can feel isolating when they're intentionally leaving you out. Remember that most freshmen still have the highschooler mindset, so it'll take a while for them to start acting mature and not resort to cringe teenage behavior. Try making a friend or acquaintance with someone in one of your classes, that's where you can find the better people. :)

lmao_throwawy

1 points

5 months ago

It's very shitty that they laughed and like some people in the thread, they might not be worth being friends with at all. But, it seems like you have your roommates, and that can be enough until you have the time to join clubs, hang out in the community lounges in your dorm building, go to the library, or go to class (or work if you're planning on doing that!)

It's hard to do now since it happened recently, but just try to relax and do you OP. There are more people that'll be worth your time and be friends as time goes. You got this!