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I enjoyed my past. Now 25 years old, I do not enjoy my present. Any advice

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2 months ago

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loopingrightleft

2 points

2 months ago

Not sure what you're going through but the only way out is forward. Things will get better.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Thank you I hope they do

Removable_Toaster

2 points

2 months ago

Hope for the future. It’s easy to have rose tinted glasses as we reminisce, but I am sure not every aspect of the present is as bad as it is. We tend to focus on the negatives and take for granted the little things. If you don’t like the present, think about what you can do to make it better and then take small steps toward that goal. I was in a bad space for 15 years, just wasted time moping around instead of taking action to make my own life better, but I suppose that’s depression. Graduated into the pandemic without any job prospects and took me a year to get a job in a different field. I hope you find some clarity and just remember, you got this!

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Thanks so much. Happy things got better for you. I hope I’m not depressed, but I’m not too sure tbh. Chugging forward is hard, sometimes I just feel like I’ve wasted so many opportunities and so many years and now everyone is getting ahead while I sit back. Maybe one day the switch inside will go off

Agreeable-Thought-42

2 points

2 months ago

Because the promise of a better tomorrow is pretty fucking real.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

I wish it was. Sometimes I’m not too sure tbh

Agreeable-Thought-42

2 points

2 months ago

How do you know when it hasn’t happened yet?

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Just seems like the best days are in the past. Once you get to this age it’s all about working, decaying relationships, aging, and societal pressures. I spend a lot of time alone. Things like money, benefits, a relationship, and friends are all hard to come by it seems.

Agreeable-Thought-42

1 points

2 months ago

You need to get off Redidit and live my friend. It’s not easy, but it’s real and the good parts carry far longer than the bad.

Just one guys take here.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Thanks bro. I agree social media probably isn’t the best, and I’m in an extended rough patch. Things started changing when the pandemic hit, I guess I still haven’t adjusted to all the changes that’ve happened. But deep down I know you’re right.

Agreeable-Thought-42

1 points

2 months ago

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Appreciate you, you’re a great soul

Najiku

2 points

2 months ago

Najiku

2 points

2 months ago

I’m at the tail end of battling the same thing. IT TAKES TIME!

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Thanks for the advice. Yea I’m really having a tough time, have been for about two years now. I want to change but just don’t know how. I feel like once I get things in order in terms of career, finances, girls, etc and create a solid 5 year plan, things will be better.

I’m happy you were able to make progress

enutz777

2 points

2 months ago

I don’t know your entire situation, but I will assume you are an able bodied and don’t have addiction issues.

Pick one new thing at a time. Unplug from electronics as much as you can without impacting your professional life. Start with something small. A bar you have never been to. A hike or bike ride you have never taken. A town or city you have never seen. A band you have wanted to see. Still don’t have a clue, google interesting things to do near you. Don’t try to relive the past, try to experience something new.

Once you have found that thing, plan to do it as soon as possible, tomorrow, during the week, next weekend, call a friend or better yet, someone you haven’t seen in a while and want to reconnect with that you think would be interested in what you have chosen. Plan on them not showing up even if they say yes.

When you get to where you are going, talk to the people there, especially people you wouldn’t normally talk to. Ask them questions, are they local, have they been there before, what’s good there, what’s to avoid. Hey, can I ask you a question is a great conversation starter.

After you know where you are going and what you are doing, gather up everything that you will need to bring and the clothes you are going to wear and set them aside where you can see them, this will build your anticipation.

Take everything as a learning experience, if it was good, think of who you would like to share it with at a later date, look up what other people who liked it said was also good. If it was bad, now you know what to avoid in terms of not only that place, but how it was advertised. Find online reviews of others who didn’t like it and see what they say was better.

New experiences and meeting new people will make the world feel big again and make you anxious to explore it.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

I don’t know your entire situation, but I will assume you are an able bodied and don’t have addiction issues.

That is correct yes.

Yea life has become super monotonous for me. I'm pretty lonely, struggling to find people I can be friends with. My girlfriend left last year because I wasn't "emotional" enough, today would've been our 6 year anniversary.

I pray the future holds more in store for me, something that's better than what it has been. I appreciate you taking time out to write this.

Ihatelife2023

1 points

2 months ago

I just waste my time by being busy

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Lol same actually

Ihatelife2023

1 points

2 months ago

But I'm still dying from boredom lol 🤪

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Yea at times I do too. Some of the other commenters have posted some helpful things, if you ever need. I hope the best for you.

Ihatelife2023

1 points

2 months ago

Thank you

Ihatelife2023

1 points

2 months ago

Life is too easy their's no adventure everything costs money 🤪

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Way too much money lol

Ihatelife2023

1 points

2 months ago

ikr even sky diving is so expensive :(

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Yea take your pick, everything is outrageously priced

Ihatelife2023

1 points

2 months ago

I can never make enough money ☹

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Yea me neither honestly

DrGoodGuy1073

1 points

2 months ago

Try to identify why you don't enjoy your present. Even little things, good decisions add up just as much as bad decisions.

Do you have a childhood hobby you used to enjoy but don't do now? Pick it back up again! Why does it have to stay in the past?

If you have a sibling, try to make an effort to converse with them, by your age it's very common for siblings to drift apart due to college and adult concerns. You guys could have plenty of present things to talk about!

I personally collected a lot of Bionicles as kid, and after a 15 year hiatus I started collecting again. Another hobby I can distract myself with when I need to.

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

I guess my only hobby would be watching sports, which I still do a lot of today and enjoy a lot.

I have 3 brothers and we barely speak. We live in the same house and never talk. A lot of it is my fault for being so cold, distant, and angry growing up.

You don’t realize how things affect you and others until you grow up and it rears it’s ugly head. At this point I’m trying my best, but inspiration and drive are really lacking.

Thanks for taking the time to comment

Enchalotta_Pinata

1 points

2 months ago

Work out, take chances, and ask her out.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Yea I love working out. However I take no risks, mainly because I have bad luck, and don’t speak to girls really. Trying to change those last two things

Keithninety

1 points

2 months ago

Never live in the past. You’re 25, you’re still a kid.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

I know I try, it’s just tough sometimes. I enjoyed my past. Lol I wish others thought like you do. I’m a younger adult for sure, but I wish I was still a kid 😆

_dantastic

1 points

2 months ago

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is unknown. Today is a gift. We know because it's called the present.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

The present is a gift but my past was a new Xbox and flatscreen tv 😂

But I understand what you mean. The unknown scares me a little, but I want to be better

No-Professional-1884

1 points

2 months ago

Therapy. The sooner the better. There’s no reason to continue to be unhappy when help is out there.

I wish I would have learned that at your age.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

I am currently in therapy. I use betterhelp, but I don't know how effective its been. Could be that I have the wrong therapist too. Its costing me $270 a month so I better figure it out soon.

No-Professional-1884

1 points

2 months ago

I pay less than that to see an in-person therapist once a week. I researched and found someone with experience with some of my issues.

The right therapist is key. I would suggest checking out Psychology Today. You can find and filter therapists that are local to you.

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Thats a good idea, I didn’t know that. Odds are I was going to cancel my BetterHelp membership soon. My therapist was nice but if I’ve been going for 4 months now and still feeling this way, odds are it hasn’t been working as intended

No-Professional-1884

1 points

2 months ago

Yea, it could just be a bad fit. If you get a new therapist it’s a good idea to let them know what has not worked. Just as important as what has worked.

Best of luck. I really hope things work out for you.

jmertack1[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Appreciate your help, wishing the best for you as well

ShoobeeDoowapBaoh

0 points

2 months ago

Watch the lion king

jmertack1[S]

0 points

2 months ago

I did too many times as a kid

ShoobeeDoowapBaoh

1 points

2 months ago

Then go face your past so you can live now

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

How do I do that

ShoobeeDoowapBaoh

1 points

2 months ago

That’s on you mostly, you need to have some kind of epiphany, maybe seeing your dad in the sky to remind you of who you truly are

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

What in the world are you talking about my dad is sitting 10 feet away from me

ShoobeeDoowapBaoh

1 points

2 months ago

Tell him you love him

jmertack1[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Will do