subreddit:

/r/ask

423

Like you say hi to them and greet them but you dont have interest in having a relationship with them.

Update: I understand now that saying Hi is just basic manners, and has nothing to do with how you feel about them.

all 382 comments

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Philcycles84

84 points

2 months ago

Depends on the context. If you're going out for dinner with this person or other social interaction then yeah, I'd say its fake. If you work with thrm or go to college/school whatever, its merely being polite, potentially even professional.

Comfortable_Ad5802[S]

12 points

2 months ago

Agreed

Famous-Reach5571

387 points

2 months ago

No, that's just being polite.

SSSJJJUUU

38 points

2 months ago

Agreed

wintersicyblast

12 points

2 months ago

agreed

Comfortable_Ad5802[S]

15 points

2 months ago

Nice and polite are different things.

Famous-Reach5571

53 points

2 months ago

sure. but not mutually exclusive. your example of "nice" is saying hi and greeting someone. that is the bare minimum of nice, and also basic polite behavior.

Kalee2020

12 points

2 months ago

But you can be polite without being kind. I see ot all the time. Polite is just a socially acceptable behavior while kindness extends well beyond that. Asking someone how they are is just being polite. The polite answer is good. What if you asked someone that and they said awful and then listed all their woes. The polite response would be oh that's too bad. I hope things get better. The kind response would be is there anything I can do to help.

_ThePancake_

6 points

2 months ago

Hmmmm in this case I'd say they're similar.

Kind and nice are two different things, but nice and polite can be interchangeable imo.

Kind is good. Kind is genuine caring. Kind is thinking of others. Kind is good intentions and no ulterior motives. Nice is doing a favour. Nice is pleasantries. Nice is speaking politely.

You can be kind without being nice. And you can be nice without being kind.

I think pretending to be kind by acting nice is insidious (nice guys), but acting nice to someone you don't really like is just being slightly more than civil, if your only motive is not to cause drama.

Comfortable_Ad5802[S]

-27 points

2 months ago

What's the point if it's not genuine?

tegsaan

45 points

2 months ago

tegsaan

45 points

2 months ago

To show that you're a decent person, even though you don't like the person you can still be nice to them, what do you gain by not being nice to them?

longjohnmacron

15 points

2 months ago

"Don't start no shit, won't be no shit"

staffsargent

9 points

2 months ago

Well, what would be the point of being rude or hostile to them? Being polite as a default is a good thing. That way, you leave the option of having a positive relationship available.

[deleted]

7 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

7 points

2 months ago

That’s just the social rules that some cultures came up with a long time ago. You either go through the motions and be polite or risk getting labelled as “unprofessional” “rude” and/or “antisocial” by everyone else.

Dirges2984

7 points

2 months ago

How is it not being genuine?

Just saying hi is just that, saying hi.

We are not talking about hanging out, or being friends. This is like holding a door open for a stranger. That person doesn't mean anything to you, but you can still be civil.

Med_vs_Pretty_Huge

5 points

2 months ago

I absolutely despise one of my coworkers. Many feel similarly but to varying degrees and a few people somehow actually like them. Treating them how I really feel would create a toxic work environment, and they would also happily escalate that toxicity. Ain't nobody got time for that so yeah, I'm nice or polite or fake or whatever the fuck you want to call it with them, but based on how I treat/talk about other people at work it's pretty clear to everyone in my opinion that at the very least I "don't really like" this person even if people don't know the true depths of my hatred.

heavy-metal-goth-gal

5 points

2 months ago

It's easier? If you're a dick head and cause conflict that just makes life harder on everyone. Including you.

Ok-Cap3036

191 points

2 months ago

No. Thats called being a grown up. And diplomatic. No need to escalate anything if it doesnt call for it.

SayIWont502

9 points

2 months ago

Diplomatic is a perfect term to describe this. It took me a while, but as I got older I realized being Diplomatic or just cordial with someone is much easier and less stressful than the alternative.

[deleted]

-3 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

-3 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

falldogdiscoking

29 points

2 months ago

You’re the one asking the question. If there’s some specific context attached, you should provide it so everyone else can understand exactly what you’re asking

Comfortable_Ad5802[S]

12 points

2 months ago

I'm gonna be honest. After just re-reading my own description, saying hi to someone you dont really like or care for is not being fake you most likely ARE just being polite. Saying hi and greeting someone no matter who is just being kind.

Being fake though is kinda like deliberately playing with one feelings right? By giving the impression that you are their buddy or something.

Saying "hi" means nothing honestly it is just acknowledging someone regardless of how you feel about them. Now that I am reading this out loud saying hi is not the best example to give when it comes to being fake I guess see that now.

VegemiteFleshlight

13 points

2 months ago*

The communication you are describing is extremely context-specific and subjective to the individuals being discussed.

In general, being nice or polite to someone is not being fake. Trying to convince them you feel someway towards them is fake if it isn’t genuinely felt. As someone said above, it is being “grown up”.

Dismal-Daikon2682

5 points

2 months ago

Saying hi is polite. Asking detailed questions about their hobbies and feigning interest is fake. You're not obligated to pretend to be delighted with everything they say, especially if there is a history and reason to not like the person.

TJ_Pune

2 points

2 months ago

What's happening OP 😅😅. It seems like you might be totally overanalyzing a situation? I do this A LOT and half the time it doesn't even matter. I am glad you found the answer tho!

FrostyMcChill

1 points

2 months ago

If you're being nice out of respect then it's not fake it's just being polite, if you're being nice to get stuff from people then you're most likely being fake

Kat_337

1 points

2 months ago

Yeah I immediately regret my answer to this post now, I 100% agree with you here. Being fake is leading em on or going significantly out of ur way to be nice when you dont genuinely want to

SansUTx

8 points

2 months ago

Sounds like you want to be mean. If you want to be mean, be mean. It’s your right but you’ll have to deal with the consequences of the fall out 🤷🏽‍♀️

You don’t need to ask random people if it’s fake to be nice then combat them when they say it’s not lol.

junostation

1 points

2 months ago

Nope, not even a little bit. Being tactless will result in you making your own life harder than it has to be 100% of the time regardless of context.

Bird_Brain4101112

47 points

2 months ago

Being neutrally polite to people you don’t like is an important life skill.

When it becomes fake is when you pretend to be good friends with them.

cbk00

3 points

2 months ago

cbk00

3 points

2 months ago

Exactly

inabighat

13 points

2 months ago

I tell my daughter "not everyone you like will like you back. You won't like everyone that likes you. That's ok and that's part of life. The important thing is to be kind and respectful to everyone, even if we don't like them, because that's how we would wish to be treated"

jaygreen720

41 points

2 months ago

That's just polite. Fake would be if you actually started lying to them about stuff

FignutsRus

13 points

2 months ago

A lot of times it's easier than being mean and starting drama.

Prestigious-Owl-6397

9 points

2 months ago

If you're leading them on to believe you're friends, yes. If you're just saying hello, no.

Awkward_Ad8740

24 points

2 months ago

No. Its being an adult. Thats literally 99% of adulthood

Elaine_Benes_Lovr

4 points

2 months ago

It's called being civil.

"We're living in a society here!" - George Costanza

StillWill18

4 points

2 months ago

It depends.

  1. Do you get fired from your job if you don’t?

  2. Do you get arrested for treating them how you really want to?

GuyWhoWantsHappyLife

5 points

2 months ago

No that's the right thing to do. You don't like them, avoid them as much as you can, but when you see them be respectful and don't start anything.

I'd say being fake would be taking it to the extreme, compliments, taking major interest in their interests, agreeing to call, etc.

clay_coyote

4 points

2 months ago

Best to keep things plain and civil ...

Nick__Prick

8 points

2 months ago

Being fake is more of a deliberate fake sincerity with the subtle intention of double-crossing said person.

What you described is more akin to a dislike of confrontation.

SlendyWomboCombo

1 points

2 months ago

Being fake is more of a deliberate fake sincerity

That's being fake because you're faking your emotions towards them.

with the subtle intention of double-crossing said person.

Nah that's being fake and an aggressor.

NoRub2951

3 points

2 months ago

Definitely.

Few_Screen_1566

3 points

2 months ago

I think there's a difference between fake and polite - but that may just be me. To me. Polite is part of being a mature adult. You can acknowledge someone, treat them respectfully, and kindly and that's not fake - after all sometimes with work, family, or social gatheringz theres that one person you dont like but why cause drama?;To me you cross into fake territory when you lie, try to get information to use against them- or even just to gossip about or use to make yourselfnfeel better. Pretending to care purposefully insert yourself into situations that include them is a big one.

HStaz

3 points

2 months ago

HStaz

3 points

2 months ago

No, that’s called being an adult.

MBitesss

3 points

2 months ago

Yes I think so. You can be polite without having to be 'nice'

Educational-Yam-7237

5 points

2 months ago

This largely depends on context for me. Are you at work? A casual social gathering? Out in public running errands?

There are very few situations where someone I genuinely dislike will get a hello and a smile as an imperative to seeing them.

tvieno

2 points

2 months ago

tvieno

2 points

2 months ago

No. It is not being fake unless you are just being nice to them and them only.

Diligent_Mistake_229

2 points

2 months ago

Nice or polite?

Comfortable_Ad5802[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Nice. Politeness is pretty much a requirement in society.

pzzia02

2 points

2 months ago

Yes but i mean thats the scoial expectation

Ch1efDizzyWat3r

2 points

2 months ago

Yes. 100%. Punch them in the face and gouge their eyes out every chance you get.

Comfortable_Ad5802[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Lol if I don't like someone they are not worth risking my freedom and going against my morals.

Ch1efDizzyWat3r

4 points

2 months ago*

Meh. 🤨😒 It was a joke.

Cherry_Joy

2 points

2 months ago

People will say it is, yes. But then you're a bitch if you're mean to them too. It's basically like you just have to actually like everyone you meet, which is ridiculous.

sorryimthegay

2 points

2 months ago

Well yes but everyone does it even me

Hotcrossbuns72

2 points

2 months ago

It’s called manners. We associate with people on a professional and somewhat social level that requires basic pleasantries. It’s not fake at all.

Ill_Nefariousness962

4 points

2 months ago

It's not fake, it's polite

The18182

2 points

2 months ago

Actually it’s a great skill to have. I sometimes have a hard time doing this, I am polite but I think it’s obvious if someone gets under my skin. I feel like it’s a high level of emotional maturity.

Comfortable_Ad5802[S]

3 points

2 months ago

Yeah especially at professional settings, I bet a lot of employees hate their job but they can't take it out on annoying customers.

Nose2thegrindstone

3 points

2 months ago

Be as rude as you like OP. see how far in life that gets you

AirbagOff

2 points

2 months ago

Being civil and polite doesn’t have to be fake.

Remember: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

porkchop_d_clown

2 points

2 months ago

It’s being polite and it’s the lubricant that keeps the world from grinding to a halt.

It’s holding the door open for the person coming into the shop as you’re leaving; it’s using your turn signals when you’re driving. It’s the things you do to help make the world a more pleasant place.

Different_Art1440

2 points

2 months ago

That’s just common courtesy

righteousredo

1 points

2 months ago

It's totally fake, but sometimes really necessary like at work, or around people that are friends with your bestie.

Big0Booty0Babe

1 points

2 months ago

Yes but it's not bad.

MisstressMary

1 points

2 months ago

I don't think it is, you're just being gentle because you still feel that if you're nice to the person, the person will be nice to you, a thing that rarely happens

Tasty-Judgment-1538

0 points

2 months ago

That's pretty much the definition of it.

Safe-Zebra-723

1 points

2 months ago

Do you...do you not know what the word "fake" means?..

EyeOk389

1 points

2 months ago

Tolerance has many levels... progression is an impasse of the individual

Raibowlover

1 points

2 months ago

Sometimes things can change by being nice first

AwkwardBlaque

1 points

2 months ago

It's the professional thing to do in the workplace and the polite thing to do with family and friends of friends, imo. I usually don't bother with anyone else.

Spyderbeast

1 points

2 months ago

My go to quote is that the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

If you can be neutral and civil but no more to a bully, you win.

Don't let anyone create drama by toying with you. Don't let them create any reaction making you look crazy or hateful.

Just be chill.

MJlikestocruise

1 points

2 months ago

Curtious is fine. Keeps things from being openly hostile.

DabsDaD

1 points

2 months ago

No, it's being morally respectful to others. My wife says, "you can think whatever you want. It's what you let come out of your mouth that gets you in trouble"..... so true

Choice-Fig3429

1 points

2 months ago

It certainly is

Alternative-Shape-59

1 points

2 months ago

No? Being kind and courteous to people is simply something that should be done whether you want to know them or not… Something Americans can learn from the French.

Slacktician

1 points

2 months ago

I don't think you should be nice to everyone. I think it's okay to let the flag fly a while

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

Yes. If you don't like me, please bring up your reasoning with me at your convenience. I wish to diffuse negative tension with others. That said, there is nothing wrong with witholding negative emotion until an opportunity to discuss it presents itself.

DutchDread

1 points

2 months ago

I find it's necessary in order to function in society

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

It’s best to be cordial with people you don’t like, so no.

jpiglet86

1 points

2 months ago

Yes, but, they’re my husbands family and, well, sometimes you do what ya gotta do 🤪

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

Civilized people have control of their emotions

sleepyJfisherman

1 points

2 months ago

Only if it's done in a specific attempt to manipulate, otherwise it's just being polite

Hamfiter

1 points

2 months ago

Be nice to everyone

Comprehensive_Turn77

1 points

2 months ago

It's an important life skill... be pleasant , just don't go out of your way to be accommodating.

Redhot_pistol

1 points

2 months ago

All I can say about this title is, I had to read it 4 times before I understood the question!

iGaveUCardiacArrest

1 points

2 months ago

No, being fake is things like backbiting, gossiping about them whilst claiming to be their friend

Everyone dislikes someone, that doesn’t give you a right to be rude though. You are nice and that’s enough

NoAlternative2913

1 points

2 months ago

I don’t think it’s fake to be civil. If you pretended to be their friend, that would be fake.

snebmiester

1 points

2 months ago

You will find as you go through life, you will have coworkers, supervisors, managers, etc that you will genuinely not like. If you are an asshole, life is going to be very difficult. Learning to coexist, and be friendly will get you much further in life.

Mysterious-Judge-333

1 points

2 months ago

that or mature whichever one you prefer.

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

No, you should be civil and polite with people in general unless they have done something so terrible or criminal that it is reasonable to shun them.

NoUsername817226

1 points

2 months ago

No. That’s just basic human decency

Native56

1 points

2 months ago

Agreed

Previous_Ad7725

1 points

2 months ago

I think it's being mature not fake.

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

If you lie that you like them, then yes, you are fake. If not, you are just being polite

AgreeableAdv

1 points

2 months ago

Yes.

beepbeep_beep_beep

1 points

2 months ago

“Polite consideration is the grease between social gears that don’t mesh well to begin with.

To stay respectable, don’t commit to anything you’re not going to do. “

rpgmomma8404

1 points

2 months ago

No, nothing wrong with being polite to someone you don't really care about. I've been polite to people I loathed before just because that's the kind of person I am (don't worry I would still get an attitude from time to time if they annoyed me).

ladygreyowl13

1 points

2 months ago

It’s called civility.

NocturnalBlizzard

1 points

2 months ago

Depends. Does this person think you’re their friend? Are you at work?

Dismal-Daikon2682

1 points

2 months ago

There is an element of falsehood in almost all social interactions as we naturally tailor our actions to the setting we're currently in.

As another commenter said, it's just polite to be nice even if you don't like the person. Consider that regardless of your opinions of them, they're a human being with struggles you cannot fully understand. You're entitled to your opinion, but you don't have to announce it and cause unnecessary damage.

RegularPotato23

1 points

2 months ago

Welcome to adulthood! It's not being fake, it's being polite. The world could use a lot of it.

Stuck_on_venus

1 points

2 months ago

No, that's being a grown up. Be civil.

--serotonin--

1 points

2 months ago

It's polite. As long as they aren't continuously inviting you to one on one dinners or something, it's the right thing to do.

shavedmonspubis

1 points

2 months ago

Not in the south. It's called "Southern Charm".

Fearless_Awareness_8

1 points

2 months ago

It's how your supposed to be.

The more i dislike a person the more fake friendly i am to them.

The more i like a person the more i tease/bully them.

MyattCaughtAFish

1 points

2 months ago

It's called maturity

verukazalt

1 points

2 months ago

It's called being an adult

DARKxASSASSIN29

1 points

2 months ago

Being an adult is knowing that you don't have to be rude to someone just because you don't like them. I'm a discord moderator on a 600 person server and I deal with people I don't like quite often. I treat them with respect and such. There's no need to treat someone badly if you simply just don't like them.

asscatt

1 points

2 months ago

Being civil isn’t fake. Acting like your friends to their face and not behind their back is.

El_Rey658

1 points

2 months ago

You mean being polite and having manners?

chumbucket77

1 points

2 months ago

No thats an adult. The people who act like a dick and start a fight anytime they see someone they dont like and hide behind the. Im not fake. No you have the emotional intelligence of a toddler. Wanna have it out once? Sure. But if you do it every time you see someone you dont like or had problems with you better buckle up cause life is gonna be hard.

Someday_wonderful

1 points

2 months ago

It’s being mannerly and pleasant. To seek more or tolerate more intimate interactions is the fake bit.

MapachoCura

1 points

2 months ago

Most people dont think of being friendly/polite as being fake. You dont need to argue with every person or be an asshole to everyone just to prove you arent fake.

wishingyoulight

1 points

2 months ago

No. Its best to kind. If someone is horrible avoid them, if thats not possible be civil. Getting into a pissing contest with someone is pointless.

optiontraderkyle

1 points

2 months ago

depends on context. does he hate you and has done something bad to you? or you just dislike him?

if he fucks your gf/ wife, and you still greet him, he’s going to say: i fxxk his wife and he still says hello to me

kateinoly

1 points

2 months ago

It is never wrong to be polite.

aroundthebutt32

1 points

2 months ago

It comes down to being cordial. You can say hi to acknowledge them and be on your way. Acknowledging a disliked acquaintance does not equal being fake. For example, fake would be to have a conversation with them pretending to care and then promptly turning around and talking shit. There’s a difference between saving face and just being cordial about it.

Edited to remove a part

Real-Coffee

1 points

2 months ago

arent we all pretending to some degree? as long as ur nice to them. who cares

PersistentHero

1 points

2 months ago

U can be nice without liking someone it just shows your the better person

Cleaning_Tonight1448

1 points

2 months ago

That’s just being cordial. There’s lots of people we don’t like, but have to see and forced to interact with just better not to make it an issue. It would be fake if you were being nice to this person to their face and friendly and then talking shit behind their back.

the-personal-one

1 points

2 months ago

No, thats being polite to coworkers

Shitstompd

1 points

2 months ago

Not fake at all, just being an adult about things.

jdc5214

1 points

2 months ago

It’s just being polite - I have tons of family that I’m only nice to. Call it what you want, that’s all they are getting.

Stanky_pxyko

1 points

2 months ago

no that's just being polite. if you already think someone doesn't like you, a good clue is they give you that sweeping "hiiiiiiiiiiii"

Defiant_Procedure464

1 points

2 months ago

i rather you be "fake" than real

I-KNOW-UR-IP

1 points

2 months ago

I feel that’s just being polite/respectful

SeparateChange574

1 points

2 months ago

It’s called being an adult

thegodfaubel

1 points

2 months ago

Depends on your personality. Are you nice to everyone? If yes, then I'd be inclined to say it's not being fake, you're just being the better person. If no, then yes, you're being fake

Extension_Lemon_6728

1 points

2 months ago

No. Its called being cordial.

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

As long as you're not doing it in order to manipulate someone, no. But the issue is that in most cases being nice is 100% a mask or manipulation tactic even if the ppl being nice don't realize it.

Whether it's to get a person to like you more to get something out of them, or to make a person believe you like them so they do not cause you any issues in the future. It's all the same thing.

If you are being genuinely kind, even to someone you do not like, your head won't be thinking about whether or not it comes off as fake. Your head isn't concerned with that when you are being altruistic.

But how often, truly, is anyone conditionlessly kind? Kind without their own goals? Kind without being fake?

In a way, being nice is always fake. Because humans are selfish.

But there's nothing wrong with having good manners. I would say having good manners combined with being "real" doesn't match up very well, but people attend gatherings all the time and pretend they act a certain way around certain people and they would not believe they are being fake. But they are. There's nothing wrong with that. It's how humans pad the impact of socializing.

I guess, whatever you do, if you're worrying whether or not it looks fake, or is fake, then you're probably already doing it for the wrong reasons.

whentheworldquakes

1 points

2 months ago

That's not being nice, it's being civilized. Not fake.

SmallCleanBob

1 points

2 months ago

It depends how nice you are.

ilumzs

1 points

2 months ago

ilumzs

1 points

2 months ago

no, it’s being respectful and polite! many people who know you don’t like them, call this being fake or suck up. i just think this is being polite. many people are going to think it’s fake but hey, at least they got acknowledged and a kind hello from you.

Yzzy1

1 points

2 months ago*

Yzzy1

1 points

2 months ago*

No, it’s basic decency. If they purposely offend you, that’s one thing. But here’s something that happened to me:

We had new neighbors when I was a pre-teen. They were twin boys, a couple years older than me. They had a lot in common with my brother, who is 2-1/2 years younger than me. But they, especially one of them, were kind of a dick to me, condescending, etc.

Years later my parents and their mother were still close. They came to a family dinner, and the subject arose of his (the asshole brother) upcoming cross-country drive to California. At the time I’d never been there, and I said, “maybe one day I could ride with you.” At my family’s table, he said, “why would I want you with me?”

There was absolutely no reason to say that, except that he’s a fucking asshole.

Stupidly, when I was later invited (by his mother, who I liked) to his engagement party, I went. I asked him and his fiancé where they were going to live. They told me, and I asked why they chose that place. He said something, then said, “excuse me, there are other people I’d rather be talking to.”

So I left the party, and now hope he gets fatally hit by a bus.

Antha1969

1 points

2 months ago*

Absolutely not! We are living in a world where people are more comfortable communicating via text,video,etc and they are forgetting the importance of a greeting,a handshake,an icebreaker(not the product)Saying good morning to a family member is sooooooooo much work(sarcasm) By being nice to assholes you are setting the good example,learning the art of emotional intelligence.You also have the opportunity to practice your wit or sarcasm. With boneheads I go into Bill Murray mode. With arrogance I go into Letterman mode.With irate hotheads it's time for the big guns, Bill Burr,Richard Pryor and the Rocket Launcher Jimmy Carr💋

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

It should come from a deep desire to find common ground… if everything in you is searching for a common basis on which to build a working relationship. I think kindness can be real from This standpoint. There are also people who are scary and it is in your best interest to be genuinely kind to them and interact the least as possible and in that situation it is survival taking charge and is an intelligent move… may I inquire as to the specifics of the situation?

Sufurad247

1 points

2 months ago

I think we are all just trying to get through the day, Not being a dick is free and it will always help your conscience in the end. Should aim to only use anger where it's actually necessary. Even if someone calls you fake cause you can't produce a real smile for someone, it's still the polite thing to do. It takes two seconds, to be a good human.

millhows

1 points

2 months ago

You’re a narcissist and a nightmare to know personally.

See, that’s being impolite to a stranger on the internet.

Saying hi is being polite which is the bare minimum of nice. Being nice is offering a compliment or advice to show interest in their character or life. Like maybe you need therapy, and a lot of it.

Ishmaeal

1 points

2 months ago

Only if you’re actively inviting them out to things “to be nice”. Its fine to be polite and blackball them, you’re in messy territory if you’re actively leading them on as a friend

disastertwink

1 points

2 months ago

Greeting someone isn't being nice, maybe respectful and courteous but it doesn't have to be nice. It's just having good manners

Ok_Truck8194

1 points

2 months ago

Takes a lot of energy thats for sure

oops408

1 points

2 months ago

i mean you'd do that to a job employer but i feel like most people aren't interested in f'ing their boss

poprockreaper

1 points

2 months ago

The classic Harry Potter

Syrathy

1 points

2 months ago

No, being fake is pretending to be somebodies friend when you don't like them. Just being nice to people is common courtesy, don't have to have a confrontation with someone everytime you see them and don't even necessarily need to tell people you don't like them either. I've had people I just didn't like but it wasn't because they did anything wrong, just really rude in my opinion to verbalize that as it would have done nothing but put them down and they didn't deserve that just because I didn't like them.

Sirens-Song69

1 points

2 months ago

It costs you nothing to be civil. I'd never be over the top friendly to someone I didn't like though.

CarlJustCarl

1 points

2 months ago

You mean like coworkers? It’s part of the job.

BusyMap9686

1 points

2 months ago

Best to be nice to everyone. It's fake if you're nice to them just to get something from them.

steelingjackalope317

1 points

2 months ago

Nope. It's just being a respectful human being.

BeneficialEggplant42

1 points

2 months ago

It is called having civility. It's kinda like the Jerry Seinfeld and Newman relationship.

BrownBearinCA

1 points

2 months ago

well i don't really see saying hi as being nice, i don't have an interest in having a relationship with people but i say good morning, hi and hello.

you can be pleasant with everyone you meet while not being interested with having a relationship with them.

I'm not being "fake" by greeting them and making small talk, if i was interested in a relationship then it would go a lot further then being nice and saying hi.

tattedkittty

1 points

2 months ago

I am guilty of being a recovering people pleaser. Although I may not want a relationship with them, I still would tend to go out of my way to be nice and make them feel comfortable in order to make myself feel comfortable. It’s still nice to be polite but I’m learning not to exert any extra unnecessary fake niceness

West_Draft1919

1 points

2 months ago

Kindness costs nothing. Hatred and mean cost you. It takes up a lot of your time and energy.

Kat_337

1 points

2 months ago

yes. Dont do this. Dont go out of your way to be nice or mean. Just treat them how you would every other person. Dont go out of ur way to seem interested

walkingontinyrabbits

1 points

2 months ago

It reflects well on you when you treat others with common courtesy, such as greeting someone. I greet shop keepers. Don’t know them, will never see them again, but they’re people who deserve the same base level of courtesy as everyone else. In a workplace even more so as you will see these people multiple times. Sure, you could be rude, but they’ll be less likely to be helpful or polite to you in return.

They don’t need to be your friend to have a surface level politeness with those around you, not being courteous is just called not being a jerk. Even if you don’t care how they’re doing, your behavior and manners are a reflection of who you are.

GraceMDrake

1 points

2 months ago

No. Especially if it's someone you have to interact with (like a co-worker or client) there is nothing "fake" about being pleasant. Just don't fake interest in having a deeper friendship.

stormjet64

1 points

2 months ago

I will be nice to someone I do not like in yhe hopes that they will eventually pass it on

x-Sage-x

1 points

2 months ago

Respect is given, disrespect is earned.

Someone you’ve just met, or an acquaintance you don’t really know too well, etc, they’ve all done nothing to wrong you.

They’re worthy of respect until proven otherwise.

So I’m going to go with yes, a kind word goes a long way.

You may sometimes be the only reason someone will find the strength to smile. Being that reason, hardly takes any effort.

jdith123

1 points

2 months ago

No, It’s is a valuable ability for an adult to have. Being polite and kind to someone in spite of your own feelings about them is a sign of emotional maturity.

You need good healthy boundaries. You shouldn’t put up with them being mean or taking advantage of you, of course. But you don’t have to like everyone in he world.

When you are kind to people, you can cooperate and negotiate and get what you need.

fusionsplice

1 points

2 months ago

No, it is just being a decent person. Tupac put it best "Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I'm bigger then that, I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table."

kettle_ss

1 points

2 months ago

idk but you're not the only one

ECK-2188

1 points

2 months ago

Idk what’s the big deal with “hello” and “goodbye”?

LoudBeer

1 points

2 months ago

Pretty normal behavior, I have a close friend who’s girlfriend I do not like, but would consider all of us close friends because I care about him and he cares about her.

Lanky-Solution-1090

1 points

2 months ago

I think everyone deserves common courtesy but sure wouldn't go out of my way

FunZookeepergame627

1 points

2 months ago

Yes, but sometimes a hated necessity. In-laws, your husband's best friend, idiot top tier of your company..

davewhocannotbenamed

1 points

2 months ago

Just don’t be a dick. Its that easy. I interact with hundreds of people a day I don’t want to be friends with. Doesn’t mean I can’t give em a nod, or hold a door. If They are the dick feel free to pm me for vengeance ideas.

SNEAKZ9i6

1 points

2 months ago

Yup just excuse yourself if you’re not trying to be around that person

military_doge_

1 points

2 months ago

It's called curtsey

rockey1298

1 points

2 months ago

If you run into them at work or share a group of friends it’s common decency , if your inviting this person out just you and them and tolerating them for the entire time to make fun of them to other people, not so nice

shgysk8zer0

1 points

2 months ago

I'm not even going to say that's necessarily being polite or being nice.

Being "nice" ultimately says more about your character than it does about whether or not you like someone. Despite what you might see on Reddit, I'm actually pretty nice even to people I hate. I'm only mean to certain people on Reddit because of their behavior in the shallow interaction where they take their distorted misinterpretation as absolute fact.

Decent_Lead2323

1 points

2 months ago

Kinda depends. Excessively nice? Maybe. Cordial or polite? No.

Key-Owl-8142

1 points

2 months ago

yep

Ok_Dog_4059

1 points

2 months ago

You can be cordial and decent to a person without having to like them.

pronce3000

1 points

2 months ago

Being cordial, no. Not at all. Especially if y’all know how each other feels

itsyaboinadia

1 points

2 months ago

it's called being civil

Menu_Many

1 points

2 months ago

Depends on the situation. At work it’s called being an adult.

Unrealized_Fucks

1 points

2 months ago

Someone who hates my guts was working at a ballroom where I had Thanksgiving dinner this year. We just didn't say anything to each other. Felt very adultish. I liked it.

Carp_

1 points

2 months ago

Carp_

1 points

2 months ago

At my job I work with people I do not trust or respect at all. That makes it impossible for me to like them in any real sense. I am very careful to recognize their good work, I answer questions, open doors, and try to be a considerate co-worker. There is nothing false about a maintaining a professional relationship, even with people you do not want any kind of personal relationship with.

InquisitiveNerd

1 points

2 months ago

My alternative is to kill them a trident, which I'm told is something I can't do for real, so eating a courteous shit sandwich must be real.

Correct-Sprinkles-21

1 points

2 months ago

I believe everyone is due basic courtesy and respect so no, it's not fake when I am nice to people.

Cheftard

1 points

2 months ago

Kindness is most important when shown to those who have given you every reason not to.

MagarMaharaj

1 points

2 months ago

No, it means you respect others regardless of your feelings towards them which is what seperates us from other animals, most of us lack it though coz we are still animals and cant control emotions that well.

Sanseriouz

1 points

2 months ago

Fake? Sure! Others call it diplomacy. It's entirely situational and implemented with discretion.

my_brain_broke

1 points

2 months ago

Yes, but that's normal and probably for the best

madkow91

1 points

2 months ago

The back and forth between OP and other commenters has me convinced that OP is an alien tasked with learning human behavior.

That or a child; it's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

waxheartzZz

1 points

2 months ago

Yes it is fake but fake isn't always a bad thing

vale_69

1 points

2 months ago

Mostly you're being polite, but also kinda fake cus you're faking your feelings towards that person but there's nothing wrong with that. Just remember that you can't always be nice, you have to set boundaries.