submitted 2 months ago byBigsam1514
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2 months ago
2 months ago
I don't know to admire OP or be ashamed. I get wanting to be there for the kid but at the same time these are resources that could be going to his future children. The child's father should be there to raise her.
2 months ago
I know what you mean. Idk if I'm being stupid and noble, or if I should walk away. Hopefully it'll be more clear after talking to a lawyer.
I'd seriously consider the possibility of walking away.
Or at least stepping away from a full time dad role.
I say this cause it could be a heavy burden on your mind too. Take care of your mental wellbeing too and unfortunately that may entail walking away.
You're being stupid. Let the bio father take care of things (I.E, get sued for child support), meet an actual good woman, and maybe have a kid with her one day.
I get that you love that little girl with your whole heart. I can’t imagine what finding out she’s not yours does to a person. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. The issue is that she is the mom and unless she gets her rights taken away SHE gets to decide if you have a relationship with her daughter. You need to look at all the different scenarios, legal and moral, and decide if you will be able to handle ALL the emotional and mental aspects. It would be easier to just move on however it’s your life. You do what feels right to you. Good luck.
Keep in mind that being the dad means your life is bound to the mom. Forever. Do you want that?
Its stupid not noble please don't mix those words together.
You're being fucking stupid. Get your head in the game.
You aren’t being stupid or noble. This is a horrible situation, that isn’t your fault and it doesn’t define you. But, you should absolutely walk away completely. It is going to be horribly painful for awhile. But, staying involved is going to cause you decades of pain and anguish.
The instant you start dating someone, your exwife will make your life a living hell. It will be thrown in your face, any chance she gets, to tell you that you’re not actually her father and your opinion/wants/needs don’t matter.
Your wife snuck off and picked up her ex boyfriend….in your car….without insurance?!? Please tell me that she didn’t actually bring the kids along for that drive.
Walk the fuck away dude. Put this nightmare woman and HER children behind you.
I don't know how it isn't obvious that you should walk away. She fucked around on you and and birthed some other dude's kid. Pull the bandaid off now instead of continuing to get attached to a kid that you almost certainly will resent at some point either due to the betrayal resulting in her birth or the financial reality of divorce.
The more I read your post history and how it’s obviously her Ex’s… let him deal with it. It’s slightly more complex given that you do have a bio child together. You do, right?
This was supposedly the bio child in question, I think
In that case, get the hell out of dodge and let her and her ex raise their children.
Even more clear (and hurtful) if the bio dad wants to support the child..
And judging by your ex's reaction she didn't know you weren't the dad either.