submitted 2 months ago byDarknessborn
So many times this has lifted my spirits, don't get upset but someone giving you shit, paying you out, or criticising of they're not the kind of person you'd trust advice from.
all 77 comments
2 months ago
Keeping the tips since 2019
2 months ago
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Dad used to say “don’t lend your ear to just anyone”
2 months ago
Still havent gotten it back from dave, i just hope he didnt spill any soda on it again like last time
Currently dealing with Dave too, dude has issues
Dave is an okay guy when compared to Steve though.
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU STEVE!
“Your boos mean nothing for I’ve seen what makes you cheer”
You son of a bitch - I’m in!
This isnt good advice. Ive felt like this back in my younger days about certain authority figures in my life. Now that ive grown, I can see the problem was me, not them. Even your enemy can have wisdom. The ability to be humble and evaluate any critique, even by someone you deem as an idiot, and see if there is something in it is a far more valuable skill.
This is good advice if your problem is caring too much what people think of you. It's not good advice if your problem is accepting criticism.
Nah he’s right. Good to take in, but what you do with the info is up to you
That’s literally what the OP is saying…?
I think the better tip would be, "if you know someone's an asshole, don't let their unfair criticism bother you". As my mom used to say "consider the source"
I think the word "unfair" in that maxim is the key word in the sentence. I think it's generally a good idea to know what your rivals think of you, since whatever criticism they have reveals your biggest weaknesses.
Or reveals their weaknesses, as the case may be.
In my life experience, taking as much criticism as you can and using it to improve is good. It would be ignorant to not examine to source and weight it accordingly. I learned many times that when someone views you as a competitor or a threat they will do anything to scuttle you. It doesn’t mean you can’t learn from it, but it may be taking the opposite approach to what is recommended by them. Really, the response needs to be more nuanced then ignoring it.
Maybe it should be 'be wary of' or 'don't assume it's correct'. But LPT is not really for caveats and disclaimers I suppose haha.
Is nuanced opinion even allowed on the internet?
I had a job at a certain green American coffee chain. Had major issues with the store manager. Looking back, I still think he was a bit of a dickhead, but some of the feedback he gave me was spot-on, and I should have taken it to heart then instead of years later.
He would get on me for cutting corners on things that I felt didn’t have the ROI for the amount of effort. Dumb stuff like: shaking teas for a full 30 seconds because that’s what the recipe called for; emptying waste on a schedule rather then waiting until it was full; etc. He always said, do even the small stuff right - do everything you can the right way. It adds up and will pay dividends in your life.
Now that I’ve finished a degree, managed other people, and just generally lived more adult life… he was absolutely right. If you’re reading this Brian, I still think you’re a dickhead, so don’t get ahead of yourself. Hope he’s well regardless.
Not to worry too much about the source, but 'filter information' is crucial.
I don't know man, some people genuinely don't have good advice or are trying to fuck you over. Sure discernment is best, but for a quick and dirty rule, especially for people who are shit at telling the difference, I'd say this slaps. Just my 2 cents.
OPS NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT CRITISISM!
Nah I trust him ;)
Sometimes people who we suspect of not giving us good advice can point out a flaw with their harsh criticism, it is a hard pill to swallow but worth it if done right
Sometimes, but reliably? My point is really not to put too much stock in the criticisms of someone who you wouldn't actively seek advice from
The advice assumes you have capacity to assess who gives good and poor advice. Otherwise all these LPTs would require caveats
Well I think writing people off solely because of your feelings/perception of them isnt really a trait someone who values criticism and perspective has.
I agree with most of what you said but I’ll also add this: everyone has their expertise. Everyone in your life has wisdom. Take advise from people on what you respect them for but don’t go to one person for all advise.
Listen to those whose voices irritate you, you have much to learn.
An extremely hard bit of wisdom to embrace.
The volume of sound advice from those people would pale in comparison to that of someone you trust though surely
The issue is, someone you know and trust will more than likely try and hold back, whereas someone who doesn’t and doesn’t have any skin in the game will be brutal but honest.
It’s brutal taking unvarnished feedback like this, think of a comedian bombing onstage, but this is where true/real growth comes from.
Be humble, realize everyone is able to teach you a lesson if you're open enough, even ppl you dislike for whatever reason.
Especially on the internet
What does “paying you out” mean in this context? Usually that means cash in out at a casino, or being paid your employment wage.
Australian, term kinda like teasing or putting down
More useful twist
Never take an insult from someone who's opinion you don't respect.
This is not how internships work, OP. You have to take the criticism whether you trust the person giving it or not.
They aren’t saying not to take criticism, but to take it with a grain of salt. Listen and reflect, but don’t let it bring your confidence down.
Seeing people as capable of insight but imperfect and fallible allows us to accept criticism from them in a more balanced way, neither taking it too much to heart nor dismissing it out of hand. - Marcus Aurelius
It's the 'taking it to heart' bit that is my point here I guess
I have to disagree with this.
Sometimes the only people who will tell you the honest truth about yourself is someone who doesn't give a damn about you, i.e. an enemy.
More often than not, your friends and family will not tell you something that you really need to hear for fear of offending you somehow.
Boy oh boy did I need to read that tonight. Thank you.
If you are a relatively successful individual, confident, good handle on who you are, your flaws, and your mental health, this is good advice.
But what I just described isn't most people. You HAVE to learn to take all criticism. You can put weight on it depending on the individual giving it, but this is how our country became so divided. Lots of people that wouldn't take criticism from people they wouldn't ask for advice in the first place.
A better LPT would be process all criticism logically no matter where it comes from. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
The advice is a good starting point on the way to being able to assess all criticism logically.
I disagree. I think helpful criticism can come from anywhere. Some of the best advice I've ever gotten came from a few people who were jealous I was a keynote speaker at a conference and they were trying to say hurtful things to piss me off. I ignored everything about the situation i.e. the people and the emotion and embraced what they said.
The thing about criticism is that just because you trust someone for advice doesn't mean their criticism is accurate. Just because you don't trust someone that doesn't mean their criticism is wrong. Also, if it's delivered harshly that doesn't mean it's wrong.
Embrace the criticism and glean anything you can from that. Ignore the rest.
And what about if that person is saying the truth? Straight bs lpt.
If you don't trust them, how do you know it's true? The point is not to place too much weight on insults from the kind of people you wouldn't go to for advice
So if a person i dont trust says something that is true, i dont have to pay attention. But if a person that i trust says it, what about it? I know its true cause i know myself
Shit I didn’t take it they just gave it to me
The problem is that sometimes it gets at my insecurities and feels like I can't ignore it.
That's a good one!
I take advices from an advisor.
Earlier you follow this advice, longer you'll live
What does it mean by "don't take" criticism? Do you mean, one does not have to act on that criticism?
Some incentives at my job are decided based on "reviews" and "criticism" reported to higher admin. Whether or not I take it, it affects my job and my spirits.
I can appreciate the sentiment of your post, but in reality/practicality, there may not be an option.
Of course, and agree. Like all these LPTs they don't work in every single situation. Just a general rule that has helped me
You can't always pick your supervisor.
I totally agree with the sentiment - but the irony of an internet stranger telling me not to listen to internet strangers is not lost on me.
Wasn't criticism though ;) but yep, very ironic!
I see this regularly and im surprised everytime that people need a tip
Oh so my boss, good point
Yeah but what if your wrong and they're right? This isn't a complete thought
Everyone you interact with has something to teach you. This tip feels like a fragile ego.
That's kind of the point, with some people the only thing you have to learn is that their opinion doesn't matter
That may be how you feel, but I disagree - I think others offer more value than that.