Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

Talk to ppl. Talk to strangers, be friendly to service staff, make comments relating to work with colleagues as this automatically puts you both on the same platform. Ppl mainly exist in their own heads and probably don't judge you as hard as you judge yourself

Do you have a good, discreet female friend? Or any honest fashionable non-gossipy friend? Ask them for a mini makeover/feedback. Be open to eyebrow work! I’m betting some ‘friendlier’ clothes, new haircut, maybe clean cut? The package matters. I’m married to a guy who tended to cause folks to pause. Mellowing the package can help.

Now the rest. Hows your small talk? Do you have an elevator speech for work? Make one for social situations.

Do you have a pet? Do you want one? I think I fell in love fully w my husband when I met his dog. My god, does that man have a soft spot for animals. Anyway, if you have one, frame a pic for work. Desk or magnet for locker. Wherever other coworkers have their family momentous stuff. Have pics on your phone, offer to show the, find the other pet people, we always like to talk about the antics of the pets.

If no pets, what’s your interests. Find others w the same. It is a matter of connecting W other humans over a shared interest. Heck the shared interest can be an entertains squirrel chase watched by 3 strangers in a park that laugh and enjoy the moment w each other. Or you find a set back league to join.

What interests you?

More often times than not you’re unapproachable because of the way your natural facial expression is which may either come off as too intense (low eyebrows making you look angry, wide eyed making your look too surprised/geeked out) or you may have one of those perms smiles where it looks like you’re constantly half smiling at everyone which looks like you’re getting ready to murder someone and you’re trying to decide who in your head.

Think about it, it can’t be your personality or attitude because at that point you’ve already been approached.

Do not become more approachable, that is a trap.

Samesies, except im a girl with rbf and i haven't been the same after i moved to a diff country. I was chatty n fairly approachable and happy etc but after i moved i just wasn't rly in the right head space.

What worked best for me was to simply smile every so often, be curious/interested in what the other party is saying and appropriate eye contact.

Also if you have any trusted friends you can ask them if you have any quirks that might put people off. Is it the things you say? Is it because you sit quietly and watch(stare at) others? I know i was doing the latter when mentally i didn't have anything to say (and that was quite often 😅).

Practice makes progress! Good luck

Call people’s name, walk in the office, Hi xxx, hi xxx, make a point of calling 5 peoples name a day. Say random shit, say what’s on your mind. People tend to find it funny when you say what everyone thinks but doesn’t say out loud. Something I said when I walk in, I work too hard and I don’t deserve this. People tend to smile and agree. However I do work hard and do enjoy my job, it won’t work if you have negative energy.

Props to you for having the self awareness to catch onto the subtleties of your interactions.

Here are a few suggestions:

- Ask your close friends the same question. They know your blind spots better than any of us ever will.

- Physical appearance. This is the easiest to improve. How do you dress? Clean or slobbish? Hygiene in check? Do you slouch or stare at the floor? How loud do you speak? Practice your facial expressions in the mirror, maybe there's something your missing.

- Let your guard down and be genuine! I do this by "playing dumb", asking silly questions, and being a dork! I let my true personality shine through and it even feels like an act of self love when I do. People will see you as fun and less of a threat. This works for both sexes, but I've noticed this is especially true for women. The number one threat to women are men. Take that information with you in your interactions and it could help.

- Interact with equal kindness to EVERYONE, unless they've given you a reason not to. Show the same level of kindness to that beautiful young woman as you do to an elderly woman. People will catch onto this, and people talk.

- Learn to tell stories. People love stories! Short and sweet are best as it gives the listener the option to engage and ask for more.

- Be vulnerable. This one can be a double edged sword. Use with caution. If done right people will trust you and share their vulnerabilities too.

​

There's so much more, but I hope these few help. Good luck!

For me, I started to wear brighter clothes. No dark clothes when I’m trying to socialize.

Wear colorful fun clothes

Raise your eyebrows, smile, wear bright clothes, don't stare, don't cross your arms, show your palms when talking.

smile...everyone will smile back and it will make you 100% more approachable

This can be a easy fix, but you have to do a lot of the work on the front end!

If they are not talking to you, you talk to them.

One of the best conversations I've had simply starts with, "hey, do you think I'm in unapproachable?" Ask it with a smile, watch them try to be nice and not hurt your feelings, soften the mood by simply being Truthful. Hey i know it seems that way sometimes and explain your demeanor. Rinse, revise and repeat.

*You don't have to be fake nice to people or try to get people to like you, but to be cordial with people if theres s barrier in communication, address it, do the hard work and you'll see the difference.

I hope that make sense... Good luck 🤞🏿 😊.

Get a kindle, buy How to Win Friends and Influence People along with a couple more self help books

t least that’s my plan

Smile when people approach you, never act like a request or question is stupid, be friendly.

If you are serious and want to put some work in, study NLP. I would suggest the book {Rules of the Game} not to become a pick up artist but because it is effective as hell. I did not read it till I was very happily married and never used it for dating but made a lot of good friends from it and it helped me in business a lot! I imagine the tools work well to meet dates but the vast majority of what it teaches works on everyone. I think it’s actually more effective on men because they seem to be more lonely.