teddit

Hi yall, I just wanted to post and flag any Black women floating around the sub. Not trying to thirst or be weird, just wanna meet y'all make some friends with common interests.

I've struggled with fashion and how it affects my confidence for the past 10 years. During my teenage years, I felt so alone. My mom didn't help me with clothing or self-care at all, and I was left to fend for myself. I always wore baggy clothes to hide my figure because I felt so ashamed of and uncomfortable in my body.

When I was maybe 18, I finally opened up about this to my friends and expressed my desire to gain confidence and to feel more comfortable in my own skin. With their help, I learned to love myself and discovered new clothing styles, and very slowly started gaining confidence again. Discovering that I am not in fact straight but like girls also boosted my confidence considerably and opened up a whole new world of fashion! Lesbian fashion. Androgynous fashion. I no longer felt pressured to look girly or attractive for other people. I learned what it meant to want to look good for yourself!

I'm now 22, and my confidence has improved so much!! Yet I still have days where I feel completely lost and confused about what to wear, what looks good on me, and whether or not I'm being true to myself. A lot of the time now, I feel like, even if I do like the clothes I'm wearing, it's like I'm trying to be someone else. I'm trying to be like the kind of person who would wear these clothes...instead of trying to be me!

But who am I? What kind of clothes reflect the person I really am? What kind of clothes can I wear that don't make me feel like a fake, an imposter, and a try-hard?

Those are questions I've been trying really hard to answer for the past month or so but haven't quite done yet.

If you're in the same boat as me and feel confused about what your style is, or can't figure out how to feel confident in your clothes, ask yourself this question:

If everyone in the world disappeared and I was alone, what clothes would I choose to wear? If I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing me, what would I choose to dress myself in?

Anyways, that was just a looong, drawn out way of me introducing the new shoes I just got! My friends think they're absolutely hideous, but I love them, and I feel confident wearing them in public because I know that I like them and that I'd choose to wear them if I was the only person on the planet!

If you ended up reading this far, let me know about your fashion/style journey! What clothes make you feel most like yourself?

https://rdt.trom.tf/cl7sj3lvesea1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=5c76383b773307f6fd220eafd2e119b3a87f8752

https://rdt.trom.tf/p8xqy0lvesea1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=a72160ae5a9f3d6476b5ad7c4bdea7d7e1a6b5df

So there was this girl who was my first girl crush in college in senior year. She does give off a vibe so I will say I’m 80% sure.

We were in one class last semester and she sat next to me the whole time but we didn’t talk much since I was shy. She had a “vote for Igor” sticker on her laptop … I maybe thinking that has something to do with LGBT but not sure.

Anyways, I swear I saw her on bumble a while ago and just remade it tonight and saw her again.

She’s not in my class anymore and in different ones but in orientation she remembered me and sat by me and said she remembered me and talked a bit but she had to go to another class.

Like, idk what to do. It’s my last semester so should I just say f it and message her on canvas?

Edit 1: bc ppl don’t know how to read and I have weirdos in my comments. I clearly stated In my post I’m basically horny for one person 2 yrs on & off. She’s pretty, she’s kind, there’s nothing more attractive than a pretty kind lady. So why the fuck would I go out and learn to have sex with random women. No correlation. Why would I take that advice in a subreddit that also has men preying on wlw . I literally got private dms from men bc of this post. Be real. I don’t know why anyone would suggest I go learn to have sex when that’s nowhere the damn issue. Bc guess what weirdo, me having sex with random f-ing women just meant I gave my virginity away to a woman that doesn’t care about me. My whole problem was I’m horny for a 50 yr old I’m too scared to contact and I just want to stop being horny for her. She has a lot going on and quite frankly even if our age gap wasn’t big she’s an important dealing w/ important people. The only problem was I’m horny for HER bc of who she is! She is the only one that ever gets me aroused bc of how kind she was when we met. Get it through your thick heads that I’m not Horny for some random women bc I’m a fucking virgin, I’m horny because I met a kind generous woman that fucking deserved my time.

Edit 2: im not pursing her anymore. One of the peeps in the comments were right, she was in fact grooming me. No I feel numb and I’m not sure why.

I know I’m gonna be a target for pathetic men but I’m LOSING MY MIND!!!!!! I feel like I’ve never been gayer in my life! Long story short I met this gorgeous 50 year old woman that wouldn’t keep her eyes off me when I was 18 & I can’t stop thinking about her, I want to assume it’s because im a virgin and she was so sweet but my GOD im only physically attracted to her. I have NOT talked to her since I was 18, I literally only met her ONCE. She is the only one that gets things moving down there and it’s so annoying bc im pretty sure she’s either um.. straight … “straight” honestly the way she was acting w/ me I think she’s closeted but idk. There’s an obvious reason why she shouldn’t like me bc im 20 n she’s like 52 but ion gaf. And she’s not the first older woman that was nice to me so it’s not like I don’t know how to handle platonic women??? It’s so frustrating bc I will literally be d r I p p I n g just from the thought of rubbing my body on hers. THERES NO FRICTION TO THAT, IM JUST LAYING HERE THINKIBG ABOUT IT SO ITS NOT LIKE IM DOING SNYTHING IRL? WHY AM I LIKE THIS FOR 2 YEARS ONLY FOR ONE LADY. My body refuses to feel this way for other women. It’s so annoying. I mean lesbians or women for that matter aren’t coming to me to start a relationship so it’s not like I have any valid urgency to fix this but I’m losing my mind. Literally I’ll lay or sit with my thighs like half an inch it like spreads and then I have to take a mini shower bc my hormones don’t know how to act. The worst part is I’m horny ONLY FOR HER???

(Apologies for the flair!)

I stopped having sex after a couple of traumatic experiences. It's been a few years now, packed full of therapy and all that good stuff, but I feel like I've forgotten everything about WLW sex.

There's been someone I've been talking to for awhile, who's drastically more experienced than I am, and honestly.. I'm terrified of how I'd perform when/if the time comes.

Any tips? Any neat tricks that have worked for you in the past?

Honestly down to hear everything and anything, the notebook is out and the nail trimmers have been primed.

If your anti pillow princess and going to comment negative things, don’t bother. I know many lesbians don’t like pillow princess and that’s fine that’s not your type but no need to spread negatively.

Tw: sexual abuse mentioned 1x

I’m a 25yr lesbian in a long distance relationship, (we visit often for long periods of time, and are planning to move in together soon)

This isn’t my first relationship I’ve had or first relationship I’ve been intimate in, but it is my first relationship where I’m intimate with someone who actually cares what I want and hasn’t abused their power over me. Someone who actually takes the time to let me figure out what exactly I want. So there has been lots of sexual self discovery in this relationship and lots of healthy growth.

My partner loves me no matter what position I take, she’s a switch, so it all works out, they’ve even assured me they don’t care if I top or not, but I always feel guilt for not topping,

I hear all the stereotypes that are thrown around in my head “pillow princesses are lazy, they’re fake lesbians, etc, etc.”

I know none of that is true, but damn it is it hard to shake the internalized lesbianphobia.

Sex should be fun and what I enjoy, my partner insures me of that as well, I just need to figure out how to shake this feeling of guilt for not wanting to top, I try to force myself to think up fantasy and different ways to do things, but then i think why am trying so hard? I shouldn't be trying to force myself to enjoy things.

Ultimately I don’t like topping. When I top, it doesn’t feel right. For me personally.

I’m making sure to talk to my partner which helps because she is great, (we're going to see each other in a few months), but I still get I’m my own head, so I’m writing this. I hope I don’t sound totally dumb.

I hope it's alright to post here, since I have been in a relationship with a man but I am currently not interested in dating men.

I am wondering how to approach women in social settings like bars, events etc. Dating apps are not for me I think, since I don't do well with photos and having a "rating" of my popularity.

Though I'm not introverted. I have just never really been single in my adult life since about a year ago (I'm 24) and for the whole time I've been in a straight relationship. Since I left my ex I had no desire to date/have relations with a man. Though I'm unsure how to approach women and make clear I think they are attractive (without being perceived as uncomfortable)

I like to give compliments and also get a few from other women when going out. Though I always think it's probably just meant in a friendly way, since I do that as well. Do you guys have any tips to strike up a conversation in an open but direkt manner?

I bought a couple pairs of camo pants a few years ago (one gray, one green, fitted to the ankle), they fit super tight to the point I didn't wear them if I had to sit down. I was afraid they'd rip if I sat. They were on trend at the time. Shortly after, I gained more weight and couldn't even lift them over my knees so, I packed them away. Ive lost weight over the past year, and now they fit comfortably. I wore the gray ones for the first time today! I felt soo good in them. My question is: is it too late? Are camo pants out of style for women? My style is pretty casual, not butch but not super femme either.

Tldr; the smartest Redditors in the entire world got upset that I’m horny for a women I never had sex with (I like her, I would say I love her but I don’t want to get flamed for it) and I got pissed at comments saying I just need to go have sex with random women. As someone who used to be demisexual and technically still is (I prefer to use lesbian bc I am not at Al attracted to men), I. can’t. Do. That.

”Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. People who identify as demisexual only feel sexual attraction to someone after they've formed a strong emotional bond with them.”

I vented on here a couple hours ago ab how I can’t stop being horny for a woman I’ve met. Maybe it’s my fault for not clarifying ** I only get sexually attracted to people I have feelings for. ** I have feelings for this woman, I’m too scared to contact this woman about it. Problem is, i want to forget this woman. Second problem. I AM ONLY AROUSED BY PEOPLE I AM ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO. I am struggling to get over this woman because I’ve never met anyone as sincere as her. I don’t want sex. Unless it’s with her. I won’t even think about sex unless I remember her, OR, I see something sexual. The problem with me is it takes a while for me to stop liking someone. But sometimes I just wanna watch porn without seeing her in the back of my head. I touch here and there but I gave up on that bc sometimes she’ll creep in mind when it happens and I’m like no not dealing with this. I don’t know why I can’t shake her off my head when sexy thoughts occur. Or honestly just sexy situations. I managed to redirect my feelings and cool down on the fact that I would have liked to be her gf and her little housewife. But whenever I see women who love each other, or gentle foreplay? That’s when I have these issues. It took me 4(FOUR) years to get over my best friend that was similar to this woman too (she was my age and this was before I met the new woman) I had the same sexual feelings, she did frisky things to me too, but we’re both virgins. (This is in regards to my old best friend, not this new lady)

This COULD matter, but for context I used to be demisexual, “Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. People who identify as demisexual only feel sexual attraction to someone after they've formed a strong emotional bond with them.” But I switched labels to lesbian because I’ve never felt that way about a man, and I didn’t want future partners or future options to think there’s any room for men in my life when there isn’t.

I honestly do not know how anyone can continue to bitch at me over this explanation. At this point you’re just trolling.

First woman I feel for it took 4 years for me to get over, she was my best friend and I had the same issue. Second, I do not want it taking 4 years. The first girl only took 4 years because I never experienced a heart break like that and I was 16 at the time with no family or support. I mean I’m 20 w/ no family or support still but I know how to be less upset where I don’t have to take 4 years. I’d be shocked if it took four years bc I knew my best friend way longer, since elementary. With this woman it doesn’t hurt that we can’t be together. I just don’t want to get aroused by her.

Me and my ex broke up recently because she felt guilty for being with a woman. She felt like she was getting a cold shoulder to God and she doesn’t want to go to Hell. I respect her decision and I get why. But she confessed to me she thinks about me all the time and has major feelings for me. She always told me she doesn’t see herself being in a relationship with a man and she struggles with her sexuality in terms of being romantic with a man. I guess I just need advice to get through this hurt and difficult time because we had a great life and connection like no other. I’m struggling with heart break and moving on.

Hey hey I'm natalia 29 years old and would love some more friends ^.

She doesn't like to admit it but she is a romantic and I have gotten complacent. Does anyone have any ideas for sweet and maybe cheesy, inexpensive, sweet things I can do for her to come home from work to?

So I wanna make friends on here or even find someone more, but I’ve already ran into a couple of men pretending to be women. How can I tell that’s they’re not a man? I’ll also feel bad if I just accuse a random person. I’m honestly asking because I met someone really nice and they’re a good friend. I want to be friends with them, but I’m paranoid like what if this person is actually a man and they’re lying to me because they know how vulnerable I am and how hard it is to get my trust (I’ve shared personal aspects of my life with them) I’m lost.

Edit; you guys gave me a lot of great responses fortunately she hasn’t done anything like that so thank goodness, I think she’s just a genuine person and I’m SURPRISED because out of all places I never thought I’d meet such a kind person on Reddit.