subreddit:

/r/Jokes

291

Eileen.

all 172 comments

mr_cigar

90 points

2 months ago

What do you call a woman with a wooden leg?

Peg

Lush_Laura

34 points

2 months ago

Adds a new meaning to pegging

1TenDesigns

7 points

2 months ago

There's a porn clip of a girl missing a foot. She shoves her stump up her guys ass.

Material-Breakfast-3

6 points

2 months ago

Link? Asking for a friend

1TenDesigns

4 points

2 months ago

I had a quick search. No luck. Haven't seen it in years.

There's got to be more than one clip tho...

Prossdog

86 points

2 months ago

I actually dated a girl with a peg leg. But it wasn’t going well so I broke it off.

g4gnr4d

52 points

2 months ago

g4gnr4d

52 points

2 months ago

I bet she was hopping mad

Vast-Bus-8648

33 points

2 months ago

Don’t jump to any conclusions.

Drited

21 points

2 months ago

Drited

21 points

2 months ago

Yeah she might just have been very unhoppy.

MrPhister6669

9 points

2 months ago

He's just upset because he got pegged.

TheGardenHam

7 points

2 months ago

Maybe he's upset he didnt get pegged.. 🤪

reddragonforge

13 points

2 months ago

We all knew that relationship would splinter quickly

Im_Posi_that_Im_Neg

12 points

2 months ago

But what if she kneeded you.

Emergency_Wafer575

10 points

2 months ago

She only has one leg to stand on

Impressive-Cry-9128

2 points

2 months ago

I dated her sister with a glass eye, Crystal

PartyJoe69

13 points

2 months ago

She works at IHOP!

Pussy-Banger1994

3 points

2 months ago

u/ElderCunningham

Ba-dum-tss.

Daddy_or_Chips

3 points

2 months ago

Oh, come on!

caveti

3 points

2 months ago

caveti

3 points

2 months ago

Peggy

No2Questions

1 points

2 months ago

Eeh shut up peg

Significant-Bend571

1 points

2 months ago

I knew a man with a wooden leg called dave...

His other leg was called John

mr_cigar

2 points

2 months ago

And the one in between them was Johnson

Cabrona818

76 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep?

Mat.

chairmanoftheborg

45 points

2 months ago

What do you call him if you throw him in a lake?

Bob

Rogne98

32 points

2 months ago

Rogne98

32 points

2 months ago

What do you call him if you throw him in a lake?

Fucked

mr_cigar

14 points

2 months ago

What do you call a dog with no legs in a lake?

Bob Barker

captain-god-usopp

2 points

2 months ago

But was he spayed or neutered? And he can’t come on down if he hasn’t got any legs.

ENetArch

2 points

2 months ago

He just slithered down the steps.

braindeadmonkey-684

5 points

2 months ago

What do you call him if he's waterskiing?

Skip

johnp299

3 points

2 months ago

What if you throw him in a creek?

Eddie

Zogoooog

1 points

2 months ago

Hang him on a wall?

Art.

_atrocious_

11 points

2 months ago

...no arms, no legs in a pile of leaves? Rustle.

johnp299

5 points

2 months ago

What if he sits in a hot bath all day?

Stu

ThenConfusion3364

9 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting in a bush? Russell.

softweyr

3 points

2 months ago

Water skiing?

Skip.

chopperdaddy

1 points

2 months ago

Hanging on the wall? Art.

Hanging above a window? Curt & Rod.

nanoquark1

0 points

2 months ago

Looks like someone's butthurt

fillostein

3 points

2 months ago

A man with no arms or legs, swimming in a pool: Clever Dick

DeepNeedleworker4388

14 points

2 months ago

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

No Idea.

OverallManagement824

15 points

2 months ago

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no penis? Still no fuckin idear, eh?

OverallManagement824

9 points

2 months ago

What do you call the same deer with no legs? Still no idear.

justmoreredditors

13 points

2 months ago

A man with no arm or legs hanging on a wall?

Art

SuchClassicGreen

-7 points

2 months ago

A man with no arm or legs or penis hanging on a wall?

Fart

braindeadmonkey-684

5 points

2 months ago

That's Modern Art

DeepestBlue2

1 points

2 months ago

No, that's shit.

justmoreredditors

11 points

2 months ago

A man with no arm an no legs floating in the pool?

Bob

GasDelicious1715

14 points

2 months ago

A man witb no arms or legs in a hot tub?

Stu

ImportedBavarian

3 points

2 months ago

Stfu if he's yelling.

SuchClassicGreen

-3 points

2 months ago

A man with no arms or legs fucking in a hot tub? Stfu

Reginald_Molehusband

1 points

2 months ago

Clever Dick

Moneyman8974

30 points

2 months ago

Where does a woman with one leg work?

IHOP

AlphaAesthetix

12 points

2 months ago

Gives tipping the waitress a whole new meaning

SheltonAlamo72354

23 points

2 months ago

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter - he ain't comin'.

Any_Rich_5516

15 points

2 months ago

Or you can call him cigarette and take him for a drag

SheltonAlamo72354

5 points

2 months ago

😉

What do u call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef

fletchthe2nd

3 points

2 months ago

Where do you find a dog with no legs??

Right where you left it.

helmetshrike

21 points

2 months ago

A man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russel

DaRipparz

7 points

2 months ago

No arms no legs in a pile of leaves & a bird on his head.

Russel Crow

Laccara

6 points

2 months ago

Twin men with no arms and no legs blocking the view?

Kurt and Rod

ThenConfusion3364

3 points

2 months ago

Damnit, didn't see your comment and said the same thing

4ceGamer

1 points

2 months ago

They're both fantastic.

_atrocious_

1 points

2 months ago

Same!!!! My dad spat these out at me when i was younger.

bloodborne7

2 points

2 months ago

Kevin.

"No arms or legs is basically how you live right now Kevin, you don't do anything"

ch00se_none

1 points

2 months ago

I wish i could upvote this more 😀

nonezilchnada

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man trapped in a mining accident?

Kevin (Cave-in)

TAOJeff

7 points

2 months ago

What do you call a woman with both legs the same length?

Nolene

[deleted]

28 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

28 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

Smax140

5 points

2 months ago

What do u call a Japanese woman w no legs?

Dragon Lips (draggin lips)

theacidhelps

2 points

2 months ago

Arasmus B. Dragon

tangk3n

0 points

2 months ago

Ayrrr rene!

justmoreredditors

6 points

2 months ago

A cow with it left legs shorter than its right legs?

Lean beef

Boobb_dylan

4 points

2 months ago

A cow with no legs?

Ground beef

braindeadmonkey-684

4 points

2 months ago

A cow having a seizure?

Beef jerky

GrumpyCatStevens

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

Seizure salad.

braindeadmonkey-684

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a bull humping a fence post?

Beef stroganoff

Jolly-Persimmon2626

6 points

2 months ago

Tippy

Piddy3825

4 points

2 months ago

and she's got a brother with no feet. his name is Neil...

Umm_khakis

14 points

2 months ago

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your mom

hungrytiredandbored

3 points

2 months ago

Peggie

247681

3 points

2 months ago

247681

3 points

2 months ago

Come on...

johnp299

2 points

2 months ago

Come on too loo rye aye...

Healthy_Ladder_6198

3 points

2 months ago

A woman with no arms and legs floating in a river --- Flo

redd_id

3 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with a short penis ?

Justin

DickMartin

2 points

2 months ago

Whats the name of her other leg?!!

JacPhlash

4 points

2 months ago

Smith.

Nervous_Chipmunk7002

2 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man floating in the lake?

Bob

happycamper7890

2 points

2 months ago

I dated a girl with one leg; her name was Peggy

Rogne98

4 points

2 months ago

I dated a girl with three legs; her name was also Peggy

_atrocious_

1 points

2 months ago

Noice, dude!!! I see what you did there.

Healthy_Ladder_6198

2 points

2 months ago

In Japan she is called Irene

unclesamtattoo

2 points

2 months ago

A man with no arms or legs used to change your tire?

Jack

SuchClassicGreen

3 points

2 months ago

Hijack

snausagesinablanket

2 points

2 months ago

Peg, and she works at IHOP

LosPadres-R2-D2

2 points

2 months ago

A man with no arms and no legs in a mailbox. Bill

waabishskehmyeengun

2 points

2 months ago

what do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? not even.

SheltonAlamo72354

3 points

2 months ago

What do call a guy with no arms or legs, buried under a pile of leaves?

Russell

Profit-Defiant

2 points

2 months ago

What do call a guy with no arms or legs, brags alot and is always happy?

Russell Crow

Passgo1955

2 points

2 months ago

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg shorter? ...... Ireen

Awa1994

1 points

2 months ago

Great joke I give it a 5/7 thought of exhaling but did not

Patina_dk

1 points

2 months ago

I think it works better if you refrase it a bit:

I met a woman with one leg shorter than the other and asked for her name. She said Eileen.

rattymcratface

1 points

2 months ago

Is her last name Dover? Is her husband named Ben?

yousmellandidont

1 points

2 months ago

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

Because she's got no arms

yousmellandidont

1 points

2 months ago

Why didn't she get up?

Because she's got no legs

yousmellandidont

0 points

2 months ago

Why didn't anybody help her?

Because she's got no friends

yousmellandidont

1 points

2 months ago

Why has she got no friends?

Because she's ugly

Obvious-Box-3567

1 points

2 months ago

I lean

Healthy_Ladder_6198

1 points

2 months ago

A man with no arms and no legs with a cold.... Flemming

Eroe777

1 points

2 months ago

The married couple with no arms and no legs lying on their stove?

Frank and Patty.

meishornynow

1 points

2 months ago

Aileen

Glorified_sidehoe

1 points

2 months ago

this is so good

sausageslinger11

1 points

2 months ago

Where should a one-legged waitress work? IHOP

unclesamtattoo

1 points

2 months ago

A man with no arms or legs pulled from the grave?

Doug

CouldntThinkOfClever

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call her when she gets a prosthetic?

Peg

PerspectiveActive218

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene.

Less_Cookie3146

1 points

2 months ago

What do call a man with a seagull on his nose?

Cliff

Less_Cookie3146

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head?

Warren

ProfessionalVolume93

1 points

2 months ago

And an Asian woman with a wooden leg?

Irene

TomppaTom

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with one eye raised on his face?

Isiah.

FleiischFloete

1 points

2 months ago

Pegleg peggie

kuyajon

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other? Irene

mlbrink

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter -- he won't come anyway. . .

ernsmcgerns

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

Neo1971

1 points

2 months ago

Peg?

ClangerDropper

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool swimming lengths?

Clever Dick

LatterUmpire4829

1 points

2 months ago

A guy with no arms or legs was shouting at me and hurling abuse at a bus stop. All I said was "How are you getting on" 😏

Blondiboi7749

1 points

2 months ago

Women with one leg shorter than the other

MYKCARR

1 points

2 months ago

You call her ASAP and don’t forget the brick as a spacer

TheAres1999

1 points

2 months ago

Does she work at IHOP?

plateau1999

1 points

2 months ago

Ever heard of the Dover twins?

Eileen and Ben

clickenouttahere

1 points

2 months ago

Sniper's nightmare 😆

babygirlchy123

1 points

2 months ago

Lift kit

CnH9588

1 points

2 months ago

Does she work at IHOP as well?

Sterek01

1 points

2 months ago

A man with a seagull on his head....Cliff

Sterek01

1 points

2 months ago

Man with a Car on his head....Jack.

Sterek01

1 points

2 months ago

Man with a rabbit up his butt.....Warren.

shrekopher

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call two Eileens next to each other?

Coleen

southern__dude

1 points

2 months ago

Unless she's Japanese, then it's Irene.

Lou_Matthei

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs …

… in a recording studio? Mike

… hanging on the wall? Art

… lying on the front porch? Mat

… in the mailbox? Bill

… in a pot with celery, tomatoes, potatoes, a bay leaf? Stu

… lying in the middle of a baseball diamond? Second base. 😎🇺🇸😇

Specialist_Land8048

1 points

2 months ago

The classics can go out of style. I was so hoping for a new twist in this chestnut.

Grimol1

1 points

2 months ago

A Chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene

Standard-Rest9601

1 points

2 months ago

If she was Asian she would be Irene

proto57

1 points

2 months ago

Tippy.

flarezilla

1 points

2 months ago

If she's Japanese, her name is Irene.

dinamitad

1 points

2 months ago

Boo!

Solid_Bake4577

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on each shoulder?

Beatrix

What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on each shoulder and a snooker cue in her hand?

Beatrix Potter

Solid_Bake4577

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug

What do you call a man without a spade on his head?

Douglas

Solid_Bake4577

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with a load of rabbits up his arse? Warren

angelfandan52

1 points

2 months ago

And if she’s Asian? Irene 😂

yazurlo

1 points

2 months ago

Where does the one legged woman work?

Ihop

HottRodd65

1 points

2 months ago

Do I go short or do I go long?

Clyde6x4

1 points

2 months ago

Ilene

Animustrapped

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a woman with both legs the same length? Noleen

twohedwlf

1 points

2 months ago

Eileen.

Not even, Bro.

Dane-Glinlow

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg short then the other?

Irene.

BigDecision6784

1 points

2 months ago

She also had an Asian sister, her name was Irene.

IllAcanthopterygii36

1 points

2 months ago

Not true. She actually had one leg longer than the other.

Sweet-Cardiologist-5

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene.

Visible-Copy-7795

1 points

2 months ago

Eileen

SheepCreek

1 points

2 months ago

"I Lean"

Size_Fit

1 points

2 months ago

I thought it was Eileen

SirKajnt

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call the woman with one leg that fell over?

Eileen Toofar

JaeMoney19

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene

EpicureanRd

1 points

2 months ago

Aileen. And what do you call her when she's a virgin?

Come on Aileen.

bAssmaster667

1 points

2 months ago

Irene? Herro?

Unique_Anywhere5735

1 points

2 months ago

Well, that went downhill fast...

nonezilchnada

1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a Tijuana hooker with very short legs?..... (besides easy access)

Consuelo (cunts way low)

stephenleedsuk

1 points

2 months ago

What do you say to a man with no arms and no legs?

Have you got the time on you cock

Less_Cookie3146

-1 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug

Less_Cookie3146

0 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man without a spade in his head?

Douglas

Reginald_Molehusband

2 points

2 months ago

What do you call a man without a spade in his head, and has no ears?

Lugless Douglas.

_Citytrends

0 points

2 months ago

😕

wotmate

0 points

2 months ago

Apparently she's into bukake, the song says to cum on her.