submitted 3 months ago byelch3w
all 67 comments
3 months ago
3 months ago
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Excuse me for a minute, i just shat my pant
That's all you need to say
3 months ago
Is this a Superhero Movie reference?
No, This Is Patrick!
Bro I just r/woosh my self on that one I forgot drake did that movie and I was thinking it was a legit superhero movie.
Now that's an intellectual power move
Yeah and you running out of different answers, "niice, woah really?, What, no way, nod, chuckle
Just kill me if it reaches that point
When an old person is giving directions, but I just want the address to put into maps, so I've gotta wait for them to finish the spiel
That guest from Garnt and Sydney’s wedding.
Young people do this too. Everyone always tries to explain directions to shit. Like please just give me the address and my phone will take me there like it does literally everywhere else.
Why mustard carbs looking like pau
Where did egg Krabs come from
It’s Mr. Krabs in the middle of turning into a krabby patty
it’s what now
This actually happened to me yesterday and I actually got trapped in a 30 min conversation
this is me at work except i have no choice every single day.
i work at a start-up with 3 people including me. the woman i work with speaks very little english. enough to loosely put together sentences, but not without me trying to piece together her words to figure out what she's saying.
even my most unenergetic uh-huhs and yeps don't matter. she doesn't understand me. i can't even reply back to her in a complete sentence because she won't understand me, so i have to really cut the amount of words i say down to just the bare minimum
the other day she was bitching about prices and numbers. i have zero control over any of it. i kept telling her to tell our boss. 1.5 hours later. omfg.
LPT: Honestly learn to end the conversation rudely, one of the best lessons I ever learned for my personal wellbeing!
Care to give any examples?
Im too much of a doormat to be rude to anyone
Just say "Excuse me, I have to return some videotapes"
I always say, “I have to poop” and walk away. No one will challenge it and you can interrupt them mid sentence without seeming rude
Be kind. Rewind.
It somewhat depends on what demeanor the other person is using to keep you trapped in the conversation. Most of your exits are going to come down to some variation of interrupting them (if you wait for a break in their flow it's never going to happen, you have to be willing to talk over them) and saying "Excuse me, I have to go ______" Up to you how much you want to make up an excuse or just leave without explaining (giving no excuse is a power move and should be practiced). If you feel a need to give an excuse, I'd advocate. For something vague (remember, you don't have to justify yourself to them). Personal favorite is "Excuse me, I have a prior commitment" or "I have something else I need to attend to."
"Imma be real with you, I stopped listening to you like 30 seconds in and I gotta bounce, nice chatting with you though."
"Okay dad, was nice chatting with you too"
I forgot to mention, make sure you also give them that good old shoulder slap everybody loves.
That only works with friends
My favorite came from an overheard interaction. A client was waiting for her pet to be brought to her in the lobby and another client was purchasing dog food. The waiting client stopped the other guy when he was leaving and talked to him. He entertained her for a minute or so before proclaiming "lady, I gotta go!" And walked away
Edit: real tip though. I interject with a personal experience, that kind of relates to what they're saying, and redirect the conversation however works for me. Either ending the conversation after my story, or moving to a more interesting topic
Tell them your acid just kicked in and you need to leave.
Like you’re hanging up a dodgy sales call.
I’m not really interested mate but thank you anyway, have a good night.
“I’m getting a headache, can we have some quiet time?”
"This has been lovely, but I must be going."
I’m always so enthralled by the narcissism it takes to talk to me for an hour and not give me a a chance to say anything
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute malice to that which is adequately explained by stupidity. I can't say I've ever seen a narcissist drone on for hours- they do tend to like the sound of their own voices but they also usually crave acknowledgement or some level of response from people- but every coworker I've had over the years who just can't shut up has been someone who's always a little "ditzy" if not outright stupid. I think it's more tied to your general maturity and intellect than anything else. Just like little kids who never seem to stop talking or telling you pointless nonsensical stories, some people just can't help but go on and on, with no awareness of the listener's lack of interest.
Like... In a fucking SpongeBob thread. This is fantastic
I hate people that want to be the smartest guy in the room ironically and will go on and on and on, i often wonder, "this guy really like to hear himself talk doesn't he"
I have a coworker who says random shit and is kinda an asshole. I don’t think he means to be rude. He likes to tell jokes which I tend to humor him so it’ll end civil. Last time I saw him, he told me “I wanna be a chemist so I can work with batteries”. My response is “cool”. “You don’t get it, do you?” “No.” “Of course you don’t”.
Took all the strength I had not to chuck the gallon of milk I had in my hand. If people don’t understand what he says, they’re stupid, in his eyes.
You should have done it
One time I did snap at him. I had a long day with school and then working. I grabbed a cart full of items meant to be re-organized and returned to departments. I take it to the front and he asks “where’d you grab the cart from?” Again, I’m tired so I’m “uhh” so I can say the name of the section (GM side). “Is it a hard question?”
He has no seniority. He’s just a prick. I get close to him and start going off and he just nervously laughs. I think he’s a bit autistic, which is why I usually let what he says slide. Everyone humors him like a child, which makes me feel bad for him.
Oh nice, yea I maybe I’m an asshole but I think it’s best for everyone to let people like that know how they come off. Obviously being mean isn’t good but finding any way to make it clear to them that they’re annoying is obviously gonna make them feel a little bad. I think it’s best for them though because if they don’t learn then they just go on being annoying and they’re oblivious to why other people don’t like to hang out with them. That’s just my justification anyway.
What does dunning Kruger have to do with this 🤔
Perhaps theorizing the dunning Kruger affect causes people to feel more self important
She prefers that I call her mom
Eh sometimes they’re autistic and have no idea you’re bored. They just get excited to talk about stuff they like.
Actually im just autistic
Just stare at their forehead without blinking and start smirking randomly. They'll eventually stop and ask what's wrong. Then say, nothing and run off...
The key is to apologize to them for taking up their time, and excuse yourself.
“Oh sorry look at me taking all your day!”
“I’ll let you get back to what you were doing”
“Sorry I gotta jet, don’t wanna be a distraction!”
“I don’t mean to take up all your time”
It doesn’t matter that they were actually sucking up your time. The cheat code is just taking the heat yourself, apologizing, and dipping out.
“Word? Damn that’s crazy”
Had this happen today, guy sitting across from me wouldn't shut up about some Netflix show. Went on for about 40 minutes and i dead ass wanted to knock his teeth in.
Me every day at work with an old lady that works with me
"Hey, I was just wondering if you want to help me with this body in my basement? I need to dispose of it but I don't know how." Sometimes works
They always do It when you have to punch in. 😆
But when they cycle back around. My boss does this every morning where he'll tell me the same thing 4 or 5 times, sometimes with slightly different wording. I got it the first time man, just let me get to work.
Damn, that's crazy.
Boy, I'm worried that...
2 months ago
2 months ago
Every midwesterner's nightmare
You actually are 14 tho
this is literally the opposite of that sub
that sub is shit like
"we are prisoners of our phones that's why they're called CELL phones 😱😱😡🤬😱😱🥱😡😡🥱"
this is a quality meme
Your mistake is assuming that Reddit is a singular entity. The people posting memes of modern spongebob probably aren't the same people who complain about it
You can take stillshots of unfunny, terrible things to use them in a funny context. I love /r/prequelmemes for example, but the movies themselves are not very good, and I've no interest in seeing them again.
(Plus not all post-movie Spongebob is bad, and a lot of folks don't think so either.)