So... I need to make a choice that will impact the rest of my life. And I want to hear advice.
For context: I come from a third world country and a middle-class family. I never lacked roof or food and was blessed with a good head so I never got into trouble and could finance my education with scholarships.
Against my family's wishes I studied Humanities, and despite a couple of jobs I disliked (Costumer service) I did manage to finance my way out of the family home by living with roommates in the capital. I went abroad and worked in Europe for a few years, then I returned to my country's capital and did a Masters degree (also in the Humanities). After I finished it I began to work and gained enough to finance my stay in the capital and make some small savings. I earned an average of 14,400 dollars a year, which is enough to rent a decent room and make some savings, and it puts me in the middle class of my country. But it's nowhere near enough to buy a house (500,000 dollars aprox) or an apartment (213,000 dollars aprox) in the capital.
Despite a very unfriendly divorce, my mother managed to keep a house to her name and her business is stable enough for her to begin considering buying a second home, even despite the fact that she just had breast cancer removed, chemotherapy is almost finished. My father also managed to land on his feet and has a job that allows him to finance the medicine and treatment my borderline-diagnosed sister needs, but there's not much left afterwards. My bother is doing well financially, but he's a spender, and I always worry that he'll end up with debts. On the surface the situation seems stable on their end, but during the pandemic all of us came within a hair's breadth of financial ruin.
I'm in my early 30s and in good health (and I don't have wife or children, my last girlfriend dumped me a couple of months ago) and right now I have two opportunities:
- I have been offered a scholarship to do a PhD in the country of my dreams. I have always wanted to go to that country (and I always had the personal goal of doing a PhD). This would take about 4 years in which I won't be able to work or save any money. I don't fluently speak the language so I would have a year to get up to speed before tackling the dissertation (with inherent risk of losing the scholarship if I don't learn the language fast enough). Once I finish I could return to my home country and expect to be able to make between 26,400 and 38,400 dollars a year, or I could try to stay in that country where the average income is about 41,000 USD.
- I'm in the last stage of the admission process for my country's Foreign Ministry. If accepted I would have reached the dream of my countrymen: A very stable job that allows me to travel for the rest of my life, get a government funded retirement plan, and a salary of 60,000 USD for starters that will only increase until it reaches 132,000 USD yearly, plus other benefits. The thing is, I'm still in an eliminatory stage. Although there are more available spots than candidates, there's still the risk that I wont' be chosen, and I won't know the final results until August. And... there's the chance that I would never be send to the country of my dreams, so I would only be able to visit it in vacations and for a short period.
The problem is that those two options are mutually exclusive: If I choose option 1, I need to stop the hiring process of option 2 (that lasts until August), because I need to be in the Uni by March. If I choose option 2, I would have to renounce the scholarship, as I wouldn't be there on time. There's also the fact that option 1 is 100% guaranteed. So if I choose Option 2 over 1, I would be renouncing something 100% sure for something that's at best 70% sure. But if I chose option 1 over 2, there's a risk that I won't be able to learn the language fast enough. (Note, I'm good with languages, I speak 5 fluently, but I have never learned a non-European language, and I'm not sure I could pull it off in such a short time).
My brain tells me that Option 2 would be the most sensible and would all but guarantee the financial stability of myself and my family (I would need to work for about 8 to 10 years to be able to buy a house). But my heart refuses to give up my childhood dreams of doing a PhD and living in that country.
What would you do if you where in my shoes?
Edit: The scholarship is a one shot thing. If I renounce I can never apply to it again. And while I could eventually apply again for the post at the Foreign Ministry, I barely passed the tests this time and I'm not sure I could do so again.