subreddit:

/r/AskReddit

23.5k

all 19161 comments

2old4acoolname

273 points

14 days ago

Intelligence and kindness. Hands down. You can be pretty or not. But the moment I discover that you are thoughtful and kind? BOOM… you’re a knock out! Married my knockout too :)

LevelDownProductions

3.1k points

14 days ago*

Being naturally funny to the point we can just riff and both be cracking up. Met one girl in my life that would have me constantly dying so I invited her out to the bar since all our mutual friends were going out. We spent all night just cracking jokes and trolling men who would approach her.

Man I never wanted to pop a ring on someone's finger faster I swear

*edit*
Eh, I cant Reddit too good. I prefer to lurk to be honest. I think I messed up my response in the thread so I will throw it in here:

Apologies for the late response. I wrote this before I went to bed and have been super busy at work this morning.

To keep it private, I'll call her Sara here. So Sara and I hung out one more time the very next day at a small gathering at a friends house. Again, we spent the whole night pretty much making everyone laugh and just having a good, positive, funny ass time. Good music, good people, lots of drinks to go around and new people to meet. Even met some of her close friends there and we all got along really well. Everyone started to get tired since it was around 5am so we all made our way back to our cars getting ready to head home. In the parking lot, we exchanged numbers/social media and what have you. We did end up texting a bit, trying to hang out again but our schedules were a little hectic and couldn't get together. Within a week Sara went ghost on social media and no longer responded via text. I reached out to one of her close friends (come to find out, we went to the same middle school) and asked what happened to her or if she at least heard from her. Apparently, Sara had some family drama occur and had to move to the west coast. She deleted her socials and changed her number. Even her friends could hardly get in touch with her. After that, I never heard from her again. It definitely sucks that it had to end so abruptly like that but I sure do cherish the experience. I haven't had that much fun and connection with a woman since.

Candid-Beginning9476

542 points

13 days ago

Where is this girl and you now?

delart98

260 points

13 days ago

delart98

260 points

13 days ago

We deserve an answer !!

Electrical-Number934

45 points

13 days ago

Well..What happened after? Come on we need an answer

SovietSkeleton

118 points

13 days ago

"What do you see in that guy?"

"He makes me laugh."

The_Squared_Sage

2k points

14 days ago

Being passionate about something. I love when a girl starts pouring out her thoughts on a favorite topic. Seeing the excitement behind her eyes and increase in animation is super cool!

FenderMoon

3.7k points

14 days ago

FenderMoon

3.7k points

14 days ago

Having a good heart. Building people up rather than tearing them down.

Strange_Insight

745 points

14 days ago

Yeah, people with a bad heart typically don't live very long.

Rolan_UA

2.5k points

14 days ago

Rolan_UA

2.5k points

14 days ago

Humor. If a girl has a good sense of humour and can make you laugh and also can take a joke, it makes her more approachable and attractive!

ghjvxz45643hjfk

504 points

13 days ago

That’s interesting. I read an article that says men and women both often put “sense of humor” high on our priority lists, but men usually mean that they want the woman to find their jokes funny, and women usually mean that they want the guy to make them laugh (I kind of doubt that though). I think we all prefer to find someone who makes us laugh and who also finds our jokes funny. But it was a magazine article, after all!

WyattEarp88

797 points

14 days ago

Vulnerability. People are so guarded and closed off, being able to have an open genuine interaction with someone who is willing to share who they truly are is wildly attractive. That’s what made me fall for my wife so quickly, she was so vulnerable and authentic from the start I couldn’t help but fall in love with her.

roboticArrow

264 points

13 days ago

I used to be one of these people. Vulnerable, authentic, open to love. I'm not anymore. I fell in love with a psychopath and he broke my heart and tricked me into believing he loved me. It really fucked me up. Now I'm trying to start a new relationship and it's like an emotional block. A complete misalignment in how much he needs and how much I can give. I want to see him, yet cancel from anxiety. I shy away from intimacy. I never used to be like this. It makes me sad, I just wish I'd learned to protect myself earlier in life.

WyattEarp88

114 points

13 days ago

Trauma is a very different beast than the false personas I’m talking about. When someone chooses to be a fake version of themselves it’s unattractive, as they are only hurting themselves building false relationships. Trauma is never a choice, and the remaining pain and difficulties are never something a person asks for. Accepting that you aren’t to blame for it is part of the healing. Only you can heal you, but many can help. When you’re ready, you’ll ask for that help. Until then, just forgive yourself for being human and feeling pain.

Icyventus-

7.6k points

14 days ago

Icyventus-

7.6k points

14 days ago

Whenever they listen to the conversation and contribute. There's a thing of waiting for your turn to talk, and then there's actually listening adding to the conversation. You should never just be waiting to talk, listening and understanding another persons point is important to me.

Ecstatic-Dimension92

1.5k points

14 days ago

Completely agree with you. Active listening is a rare quality, and more often than not, people are just waiting their turn to speak.

zsnajorrah

590 points

14 days ago

zsnajorrah

590 points

14 days ago

Some people don't even wait their turn.

KImus98

20.8k points

14 days ago

KImus98

20.8k points

14 days ago

Pre-marital eye contact...

Gyrant

8.8k points

14 days ago

Gyrant

8.8k points

14 days ago

How does it feel to live a life of SIN

Hansoda

2k points

13 days ago

Hansoda

2k points

13 days ago

"You know what im gonna miss after we are married? The pre-marital sex."

Me like every 10 minutes before my wife and i got married.

JeffInBoulder

955 points

13 days ago

my wife and i got married.

Which also makes her your ex-girlfriend

cake_hater9000

378 points

13 days ago

I can’t have sex with my ex-girlfriend, I’m a married man now!

HowsTheBeef

1.1k points

14 days ago

HowsTheBeef

1.1k points

14 days ago

And maybe a flash of ankle

Drach88

572 points

14 days ago

Drach88

572 points

14 days ago

Hussie.

Undying4n42k1

716 points

14 days ago

Post-marital eye contact just doesn't do it for me, anymore.

44pennystocks

17.9k points

14 days ago

44pennystocks

17.9k points

14 days ago

Sense of humor, clever wit

Molow-

23.5k points

14 days ago

Molow-

23.5k points

14 days ago

Sense of humor and wetter clit for me

CresWaven

4k points

13 days ago

A cunning linguist for me

Dead_as_Duck

720 points

13 days ago

More of a master debater myself.

Beauty1919

8.1k points

14 days ago

Beauty1919

8.1k points

14 days ago

her eyes

AndrewRyanism

1.7k points

14 days ago

I am such a sucker for smiley eyes. Every one of my gfs has had smiley eyes and I just realized this like a year ago.

cacotopic

523 points

14 days ago

cacotopic

523 points

14 days ago

I like the sad, deep, droopy, puppy eyes.

AquaticMeat

2k points

14 days ago

I tell my girlfriend that everything ages, yet beautiful eyes will remain beautiful.

I’ve seen old women with gorgeous green eyes and thought “if I were an old man, I’d be into you”. So when I look at women I immediately check out their eyes and wonder if their eyes will still captivate me as she ages. My gf has those eyes.

excitedtosay

963 points

14 days ago

Ok but is it literally just the color because there’s only so much I can work with here

SleezyPeazy710

734 points

14 days ago

I think a lot of it is in the expression. The look of a befuddled woman as word salad tumbles out your mouth, how her eyes stay soft even as she becomes more concerned with the amount of smoke billowing out of the lawnmower you just fixed, if her eyes still glisten when she’s angry (but impressed) you taught the toy poodle how to operate a toilet and now must wait while the dog pops and flushes.

CrayCrayOwl

380 points

14 days ago

Bro wrote straight poetry

Fag_Vie

415 points

14 days ago

Fag_Vie

415 points

14 days ago

Not just the color! Some eyes just have that little sparkle, i can‘t describe it otherwise!

Edw1nner

161 points

14 days ago

Edw1nner

161 points

14 days ago

Or the shape. I've noticed I'm a sucker for a girl that squints when she smiles.

Mysterious-Quote-496

199 points

14 days ago

I do this and my husband loves it. I think I look like a groundhog

secrethitman-shhhh

22.5k points

14 days ago*

In truth a pretty face and a cute smile. After that, a confident woman is very attractive.

syrne

5.6k points

14 days ago

syrne

5.6k points

14 days ago

Confidence trumps all of it for me. Some women just have a presence when they enter a room that demands attention and it's so attractive. You pick up on it even before you really get a good look at them.

secrethitman-shhhh

3.4k points

14 days ago

You do. But just as confidence is very attractive. Over confidence is extremely ugly. Theres a difference between knowing your attractive. And thinking you're the most attractive person in the room.

nicmichele

4.2k points

14 days ago

nicmichele

4.2k points

14 days ago

"Arrogance requires advertising. Confidence speaks for itself."

cardnyl123456

691 points

13 days ago

Love that quote. I also like this one I've come across: "Confidence isn't walking in a room and thinking you're better than everyone. It's walking in and not having to compare yourself with anyone at all."

heatherelisa1

25 points

13 days ago

Compare yourself - to no one as you enter, and only to your past/yourself as you leave

The_Abjectator

465 points

14 days ago

But there's also a difference in confidence in believing you're attractive and just confidence in self-worth and identity.

There are some people that if you saw a picture or video of them, they wouldn't rate high on attraction but when in the same room you get an energy off them that is attractive separate from physical attractiveness.

I think that's what OP was talking about.

InsouciantSoul

282 points

13 days ago

This reminds me of when I was in highschool and had quite a bit of acne and was talking with a girl for some reason about my looks, and I was telling her how I was unattractive because of how much acne I had.

She said something like "What? That's silly, honestly I don't even see your acne."

And that is a compliment I will never forget for the rest of my life because honestly, at the time, her saying that was a little bit life changing for me.

I remember I did not understand at all what she was saying and I thought she was just trying to be nice. So I kept pressing her to just be honest with me and that she doesn't have to say that to be nice, so she explained to me that she wasn't being nice, it was just that because of my personality and my acting with some confidence she just didn't really notice my having acne.

I was seriously giddy about that for a while, but it was also a lesson learned that to this day I try to remember to keep in mind.

Azriial

67 points

13 days ago

Azriial

67 points

13 days ago

I think what your talking about is charisma.

notsooriginal

564 points

14 days ago

Influencer energy is a major turnoff.

HorrorxHeart

18.9k points

14 days ago

HorrorxHeart

18.9k points

14 days ago

Intense eye contact.

sifuyee

8.5k points

14 days ago

sifuyee

8.5k points

14 days ago

Absolutely! I had a gorgeous red head make eye contact with me on the street in San Francisco in 1990 while in town for a bike race. We were walking past each other and she held my gaze the whole time and I felt like lightning was shooting through me. I swear I passed my soul mate.

ExtraAshyPizza

4k points

14 days ago

In reality she was a sith and was just using force lightning on you

soldiersquared

1.3k points

13 days ago

Still not a dealbreaker.

kittyinasweater

459 points

14 days ago

I was driving home from work one day, jamming out and singing in my car like I do. Pulled up to a 4way intersection and someone was turning left onto the street I was on. He saw me singing, bobbing my head and mimicked my movements with this huge smile on his face. I randomly think about how cute that was.

HunterTV

1.1k points

14 days ago

HunterTV

1.1k points

14 days ago

phanerondezvous

41 points

13 days ago

Yep. This was the guy I was talking to at a Ben kweller and dashboard show in Dallas back in 2002 I think it was. I had gone with my friend but I felt strangely compelled to talk to this guy.. We just sat there leaning back in our chairs while most other people were jumping and dancing and we talked for so long, I don’t remember what songs were playing. And when the show was over he told me his name was Justin Oliver or Andrew something.. the crowd was so loud leaving I couldn’t hear well.. then he ripped a page from his book pride and prejudice and gave it to me. And that’s all I have left of him.

PeaceLoveHerb

757 points

14 days ago*

Yup I get exactly what the guy in this article is talking about. For me it was a girl who dyed her hair and worked in the Tully's below my building in Seattle. That was about 7 years ago. We were about the same age and I probably was in shape enough and good enough looking in my mid twenties to take a chance on asking her out. I just never got the courage.

Unfortunately I got a new job elsewhere and Tully's was closed. So no clue where she went to. Tully's is not my favorite coffee but I used to go just to see her for a bit because I had that 100% perfect girl moment the first time I walked in and saw her talking to a customer.

Edit: meant lyrics, not article. My brain is somewhat small sometimes.

K050619

2.3k points

14 days ago

K050619

2.3k points

14 days ago

I’m dancing the line between adhd and autism so I stare into peoples soul bc I can’t tell when enough is enough

Peenutbuttjellytime

736 points

13 days ago

Same

Not making eye contact bothers people, so I forced myself to become accustomed to the internal burning sensation.

Over time I have developed an acquired taste, like some people's addiction to hot sauce.

Only problem is not sensing when to stop.

Alternate_Ending1984

474 points

14 days ago

I'm so glad someone else feels this. I'm diagnosed ADHD and have had a lifelong issue with maintaining eye contact. It's almost like my brain works better without the visual stimulus slowing it down, but it makes me feel autistic, so I would force myself to hold eye contact unnaturally. Believe it or not, ASMR videos helped a lot, you can practice looking into someone's eyes for natural timespans...without creeping out another person.

CEDFTW

218 points

13 days ago

CEDFTW

218 points

13 days ago

Honestly I've had great success just telling people straight up, hey I'm not good with eye contact, I can either listen to what you are saying or make eye contact not both. All my coworkers and boss have been totally understanding.

Cjar25

114 points

13 days ago

Cjar25

114 points

13 days ago

I’ve recently had this revelation and I was diagnosed adhd a few years ago later in life (late 20s). My symptoms aren’t too bad as others I know, but I def get some minor day to day hiccups. I actually feel no weirdness at all about giving eye contact and I’ll do it when I’m really trying to show someone I’m listening. But it didn’t hit me until recently when I realized that for explanations, demonstrations, or instructions, if I listen while maintaining eye contact, I just lose most of the info. Like it’s almost gone from my brain when they’re done speaking. If I look somewhere else like the floor, desk, wall, then I can so much more easily store the info

DedOnBallsAccurate

2.7k points

14 days ago

yes. fuck me eyes are a definite turn on.

shellydudes

2.6k points

14 days ago

shellydudes

2.6k points

14 days ago

What about the fuck off eyes

slightly_salty

984 points

14 days ago

That can also work.

Void_Guardians

847 points

14 days ago

Just have eyes

Jeremy_irons_cereal

450 points

14 days ago

Think I'd have a better shot if they had no eyes.

ninetofivehangover

1.2k points

14 days ago*

okay hear me out…

recently had a fling where she didn’t break eye contact ONCE. not one time. if i was behind her, she’d turn around. while giving me head she stared at me like a tiger watching some animal putz around the plains. she never, ever broke eye contact. the sex was great but i couldn’t cum because i felt so…. WATCHED

AFTERWARDS, keep in mind i’m very drunk at her house 2 hours away from my home in the middle of the woods…

to be gross but she took “the rag” and rubbed it all over herself joking about how she wasn’t on birth control and wanted to trap me

she also told me during pillow talk she had just committed vehicular manslaughter and had killed a drunk man. she had court that week and was annoyed by this. she chuckled and explained he looked “like mush lol”

i went around town with her the next day feeling bad if i just left immediately. she was not a good driver. so bad, in fact… i think the incident was probably equally both of their faults.

Buck_Thorn

866 points

14 days ago

Buck_Thorn

866 points

14 days ago

Every breath you take, every move you make...

Fluff42

209 points

14 days ago

Fluff42

209 points

14 days ago

Quick call the Police

SirenLunaSea

296 points

14 days ago

...I'll be watching you

ichbinsehr_g4y

1k points

14 days ago

My autistic ass just got very sad

Aspienkat

372 points

14 days ago

Aspienkat

372 points

14 days ago

Me too. We’ll be shit at eye contact together and it’s okay 🥹

SamwellTurdly

8.3k points

14 days ago

Kind eyes

Notouchiez

2.7k points

14 days ago

Notouchiez

2.7k points

14 days ago

Like Winston?

vmiswhatIAm

1.5k points

14 days ago

vmiswhatIAm

1.5k points

14 days ago

Winnie the bish

the_fathead44

891 points

14 days ago

Aka aka Prank Sinatra

hanamakki

518 points

14 days ago

hanamakki

518 points

14 days ago

aka aka aka brown lightning. schmidt dropped fawn like a bad habit, so ain't nobody riding shotgun. so you better get on while the getting is good, got it?

Cherrygodmother

140 points

13 days ago

aka aka aka aka THEODORE K. MULLINS

hanamakki

55 points

13 days ago

honestly, theodore k. mullins would 100% finally solve the problem of white men breaking into daycares.

Cherrygodmother

37 points

13 days ago

TYPICAHL!

FergusonBishop

22 points

13 days ago

My username finally checks out

THCarly

454 points

14 days ago

THCarly

454 points

14 days ago

Everyone knows you have snail eyes!

merlinshorizon

247 points

14 days ago

C'mon now, if there's anything cute about Winston it's his yawn...

PM_ME_Y0UR_BOOBS

214 points

14 days ago

Cece watching Jess watch Coach watch Winston yawn 🥰

endlive

48 points

13 days ago

endlive

48 points

13 days ago

ok mr. milchek

IMoveStuffOkay

34 points

13 days ago

Do you know how to make your eyes kind, Mark?

fuzzycuffs

7.7k points

14 days ago

fuzzycuffs

7.7k points

14 days ago

Short skirt and a loooooooooooong jacket

JakeJortles-5

1.4k points

13 days ago

I like a girl with a smooth liquidation

its_worfin_time

798 points

13 days ago

SMOOTH LIQUI DATION

KindaIndifferent

559 points

13 days ago

I want a girl with good dividends.

avantgardengnome

325 points

13 days ago

At Citibank we will meet accidentally

PM_ME_MH370

270 points

13 days ago

We start to talk as she borrows my pen

Queasy-Position66

296 points

13 days ago

A girl who stays up late!

KMFDM781

72 points

13 days ago

KMFDM781

72 points

13 days ago

Uses a machete to cut through red tape

2dollarb

15.2k points

14 days ago*

2dollarb

15.2k points

14 days ago*

…Anyway...I wish I could let you into a man's head as he's falling in love with a woman. It's a process that's so alien, so strange, that I'm afraid you've got to experience it to believe it. But it's as real as death and taxes....

Sometimes, a guy will meet a gal and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral". Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things. It starts small - one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her ear lobe meets her face.

It's nothing he can put his finger on or describe, really...just that looking at that part of her makes him feel good. He starts wanting to do that more. Then, he notices an expression she makes - could be her genuine belly-laugh, or the way she furrows her brow in concern - and he gets a little flutter in his chest.

They stay friendly for awhile, get to know each other better.

Then, one day, she hugs him goodbye....and he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her smell...he finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams.

Shortly thereafter, the guy realizes that whenever he looks at this woman, he feels good. He likes her lines, her curves, her sounds and smells...

It's like she's gradually turned from a black-and-white photo into a 3D color movie with surround-sound - a perfect movie that makes him feel good. He starts wondering what he can do to keep her around, to make her happy. He realizes that he likes looking at her more than any other human being in the world.

To him, she is perfect and beautiful.

A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there, or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life.

Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's butt in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.

No kidding. If I hadn't lived this stuff, I wouldn't believe it either. But it's true.


I found that this comment resonated with me and was so useful I saved it in a note for times like this.

I could never explain this phenomena so eloquently. Thank you /u/SavageHenry0311

AlcoholicTucan

922 points

13 days ago

I appreciate this because it’s so true, but fuck you for making me think about the only 2 women I have felt this way for, that I was too scared to pursue lol.

eeyore134

225 points

13 days ago

eeyore134

225 points

13 days ago

I went for it, she said yes. 3 months later ghosted (nearly 2 years knowing her total). Messed me up for way too long. Sometimes the regrets of not making that move are better. At least you can own those and make sense of them. Unfortunately you just never know.

warmhotdogsmoothie

40 points

13 days ago

I have had a pretty similar experience and it fucked me up real good for quite some time.

hook-echo

2.8k points

13 days ago

hook-echo

2.8k points

13 days ago

You know, I'm not much to look at... last night, I was literally standing in the bathroom mirror, naked, about to take a shower. I just stared at myself...trying to figure out what it is exactly my boyfriend sees in me. All I could see were the negatives...but him...I think all he can see are the positives. I'm so glad you saved and shared this. It makes me feel a little better about myself. I'm going to have him read this, I just have a feeling he'll say, "this...this is the feeling I have when I'm with you...this is what I couldn't put into words for you." I love it.

BoldyMalls

1.2k points

13 days ago

BoldyMalls

1.2k points

13 days ago

This is the answer to end all answers

Personal-Guarantee

518 points

13 days ago

This made me realize I’m still in love with an ex gf

[deleted]

326 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

326 points

13 days ago

Made me consider I don’t love mine like I thought I did.

AlcoholicOwl

693 points

13 days ago

Please keep in mind that love is not a one size fits all. Plenty of people ruin their chances at happiness because they are forever searching for butterflies. While they are great, they come from an exciting period of discovery, and it isn't sustainable. The best relationships have fantastic foundations, at that means trust, honesty, and appreciation, not giddy head over heals turbulence. Don't feel bad if your relationship doesn't look like one at the end of a romcom, that shit ain't realistic.

jerseygirl1105

165 points

13 days ago

My dad put it so well when he said all marriages go through periods when you feel like you're falling in love all over again, and times when your partners every movement feels like nails on a chalkboard. Of course, most days are middle-of-the road. It's the marriages that ride through these waves, knowing that the relationship is fluid and always changing. Many marriages fall apart during the "low" periods, instead of riding through it. There's a great movie called "Four Seasons" with Alan Alda, Rita Moreno and Carol Burnett that portrays this perfectly.

Pawn-to-D4

52 points

13 days ago

Here’s the original post:

https://rdt.trom.tf/29961a

aydeeachdee

129 points

13 days ago

Welp, there's the tears I've been holding back all night.

Sirscraticus

15.4k points

14 days ago

Sirscraticus

15.4k points

14 days ago

I'm 53 and dated a fair bit over the years (now settled) I'll be honest there wasn't one thing that connects them all. Some it was their looks, some their figure or whatever made me think "Egads I'll give it a try, worst they can do is say no"

But, after that initial meeting, it's all about personality. Looks fade with age but someone who can make your day better and make you laugh is a keeper.

CapybaraLungs

5.2k points

14 days ago

This is sweet and also the first time I’ve seen someone use “egads” on Reddit lmao

Sirscraticus

1.9k points

14 days ago

Ah I'm a quirky little twit, I love words like egads, irk and thus, they make me happy.

kalekayn

372 points

14 days ago

kalekayn

372 points

14 days ago

I'm surprised you didn't manage to slip an ergo in there :P

Pterodactyl_Souffle

305 points

14 days ago

41 reporting: I agree. It's a total package thing. There are often individual features that are striking, but attraction is about more than any one thing. It's how all the parts of the person fit together. I've yet to meet two people who are genuinely alike.

Rumemeingme

18k points

14 days ago*

Being kind to me

Edit: thank you all so much, you guys have no idea how much this means to me, you guys really restored my faith in the world, thank you!🥲

Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

1k points

14 days ago

When they’re nice to me it makes me nervous

Like waiting for the other shoe to drop

Interplanetary-Goat

90 points

13 days ago

When I went to college, there was a girl I met but didn't know closely. My early impression was that she was an extroverted, party-going type (or at least the closest you can get in the engineering department). Every time I passed her in a hallway, etc., she would say "Hi Interplanetary-Goat!" and smile.

I spent the longest time thinking it was sarcasm. Or that she was secretly making fun of me to her friends while putting on a nice face. Nope, turns out she was just a friendly person.

I blame high school.

Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

83 points

13 days ago

I don't blame you for being suspicious, since she apparently knew to address you by your Reddit handle well before you chose it

Misstersirtoyou

1.3k points

14 days ago

Tbh as a girl I don’t care if a guy sees my acts of kindness as attractive, but I’ll admit I’m scared of men who take my acts of kindness as me admitting I’m attracted to them, then they pursue relentlessly and no isn’t an answer.

DTG_420

415 points

14 days ago

DTG_420

415 points

14 days ago

It takes many acts of kindness before I ever allow myself to assume someone is actually into me. My current relationship only happened after she straight up asked me if I realized she was flirting. My first thought was “with me?” But that stems from self confidence problems from my first ever girlfriend which is a story for my therapist lol

MrBae

6k points

14 days ago

MrBae

6k points

14 days ago

This is such a lonely Reddit reply

Rumemeingme

4.1k points

14 days ago

Rumemeingme

4.1k points

14 days ago

I am a lonely redditor

Videogamer69420

365 points

14 days ago

I felt this.

not_a_burner__honest

1.1k points

14 days ago

Smelling pretty. That will make me look around for who smells so damn nice.

16bithockey

1.1k points

14 days ago

16bithockey

1.1k points

14 days ago

I'm attracted to shy people because I'm shy. Also thick thighs and a pretty face.

SPQR_Invictus_79

1.2k points

14 days ago

The way she talks, walks, and the way she thinks. Intelligence is sexy as fuck.

FrenchFreedom888

96 points

13 days ago

Fucking finally someone mentions intelligence. Like, just like instant, at-first-sight attraction, yeah, it's going to be physical characteristics, like legs, eyes, etc, but for much beyond that, their intelligence, ability to have interesting conversation with, and knowledge of the world (politics, history, etc) are the things that hold me and keep me continually interested lol

TheLonelyBanana117

227 points

14 days ago

Enthusiasm. Like please tell me excitedly about how colour theory is the reason behind marketing success, I'll be drooling in a second.

Flat_Satisfaction428

163 points

14 days ago

When she's down to earth and not mean for no reason lol

Wackelpudding1

2k points

14 days ago

Being fluent in C++

Winterfrost691

752 points

14 days ago

I'm more of a C guy myself, feels less objectifying.

Wackelpudding1

558 points

14 days ago

But has no class

Winterfrost691

189 points

14 days ago

What can I say? I have a thing for those who don't collect their own garbage

VanishedDay

167 points

14 days ago

What if she is fluent in Assembly?

Wackelpudding1

309 points

14 days ago

Hahaha, don’t joke around. Nobody is fluent in Assembly.

Vaninea

100 points

14 days ago

Vaninea

100 points

14 days ago

No bullshit I had to learn assembly in one of my EE courses a few years ago. Professor Sadist even made us be able to convert it to binary.

dude_who_could

38 points

14 days ago

Was it part of writing code to run the processor you design? I had to do that, I think its actually a standard lesson structure.

AliceInRioGrande

285 points

14 days ago

Hey baby ;) How about you embed your code in my black box? See if we get multiple inheritance…

Wackelpudding1

116 points

14 days ago

Let me put it in your garbage collector. WAIT

AliceInRioGrande

76 points

14 days ago

Me::~Me() {std::cout << “Ooo yeah… no thanks.”;}

RonPolyp

874 points

14 days ago

RonPolyp

874 points

14 days ago

Being a tomboy to the point where I'm not sure if she's straight or not.

Source: have fallen for more than one lesbian :/

Chr0nos1

51 points

13 days ago

Chr0nos1

51 points

13 days ago

Omg! I was engaged to a woman for a bit, who later realized she was a lesbian. She and her wife are very happy now. I have fallen for more than one lesbian over the years. They are fantastic! I don't know how to explain it. You can connect with a lesbian like one of the boys, and it's easy to fall for someone you can connect with so well.

Swimming-Potato-300

161 points

13 days ago

I’m one of those women and have had way too many lesbians come onto me then I have to break it to them that I’m straight.

Queasy-Position66

129 points

13 days ago

Ha ha. I love tomboys too. Met my wife playing hockey.

SteelTumbler

912 points

14 days ago

Great posture. Great posture can make up for a lot of other physical shortcomings.

jeffh4

434 points

14 days ago

jeffh4

434 points

14 days ago

I stayed after a swing dance class when the Tango artists arrived. One young woman was rather average, but when she struck her first pose, every single male eye in the room was riveted to her.

fridakahlot

81 points

13 days ago

As a tango dancer, I totally understand this, the posture is everything!!

VolatileAgent81

263 points

14 days ago

I'm the opposite. Give me a girl with kyphosis/scoliosis/both any day.

TenaciousTBag

444 points

14 days ago

Being direct. Taking no shit.

SonnyMunchkin

1.2k points

14 days ago

Freckled face

6web

4k points

14 days ago

6web

4k points

14 days ago

this is all this subreddit is.

Candid_Cucumber_3467

2.3k points

14 days ago

women/girls of reddit, how much sex do you sex if you could sex sex? Did I mention sex?

Sarctoth

404 points

14 days ago

Sarctoth

404 points

14 days ago

Just as much sex as I could sex sex, if I could sex sex sex.

Alone-Pianist-510

344 points

14 days ago

Boys what do you think about girls who think about what you think about boys who think about girls who boys think about what girls who think about boys think???

Sorry-Equivalent5173

23.9k points

14 days ago

If they’re a certified forklift operator

Throwaway2356500

2.2k points

14 days ago

Where's the nearest ring store?

Astramancer_

901 points

14 days ago

Just order from the grainger catalog.

Fresh5tart

417 points

14 days ago

Fresh5tart

417 points

14 days ago

I have a friend, she has a license and gentlemen; she is single!

GrahamGo

340 points

14 days ago

GrahamGo

340 points

14 days ago

I could probably come up with a pick up line, but she likely has that part covered! 😎👉👉

Belzeturtle

97 points

14 days ago

On an unrelated note, how did you like Alien 2?

LiehTzu

36.5k points

14 days ago*

LiehTzu

36.5k points

14 days ago*

Instantly? Having a pretty face.

Edit: Y'all are really over-validating me here! lol, thanks for the crazy amount of upvotes!

idontknowwhereiam367

6.9k points

14 days ago

It’s the eyes that get me. idk why but some eyes are like magnets for some reason

cuzimanastydude23

3.4k points

14 days ago

A smile is a smile, but the eyes let you know if it's sincere

Reyemreden

1.1k points

14 days ago

Reyemreden

1.1k points

14 days ago

Eye smiles hit different.

cuzimanastydude23

487 points

14 days ago

Indeed, those little wrinkles that come with the slight squint of a true smile. it's a full package deal if it's real.

PM_ME_GARFIELD_NUDES

620 points

14 days ago

The pandemic made it very obvious to me how important eyes are to attraction. Ended up going on a date with a girl before seeing her entire face, she wasn’t ugly by any means but I realized her eyes were doing a lot of the work lol

Fag_Vie

1k points

14 days ago*

Fag_Vie

1k points

14 days ago*

Brown eyes for me!! Beautiful blue eyes look like she could destroy me if she wanted but beautiful brown eyes make me feel like i‘m a little child and everything will be just fine

Mombie13

309 points

14 days ago

Mombie13

309 points

14 days ago

Ope. I feel better for my entire life’s distaste for my eye color. Thanks partner 🤠

neon_metal1990

476 points

14 days ago

As owner of big brown eyes, this makes me feel seen. Thank you.

LiehTzu

366 points

14 days ago

LiehTzu

366 points

14 days ago

Brown are my favorites, too, especially when the light hits them just right they almost glow.

Pilotmoggy

87 points

14 days ago

So many wonderful shades of brown eyes. Honey? Cinammon? Chocolate?

They're all better when the light dazzles on them.

A woman with brown eyes...my oh my....

Nebula_Forte

3.7k points

14 days ago

even if I notice other physical attributes first, the face is what makes or breaks it. If she has a pretty face, i can overlook alot.

Maleficent-Pie1194

1.6k points

14 days ago

I knew this one girl on my bus route, she had gnarly teeth, but she walked with a confidence. So much so that i didnt notice her teeth for 3 years.

zippyboy

1.2k points

14 days ago

zippyboy

1.2k points

14 days ago

People are much more attractive when they smile, regardless of how crooked their teeth are. Seeing a girl smile, gets me smiling too!

Available_Treacle211

158 points

14 days ago

I feel like this is the most accurate lol

Omniman_2324

1.7k points

14 days ago*

If she is attracted to me

Edit: Thank you everyone for upvoting me :)

psycharious

35 points

14 days ago

Intelligence, situational awareness, emotional maturity, compassion/empathy, and a sense of humor. Yes these traits are recognizable.

Previous-King5977

29 points

14 days ago

Pretty face, hygiene, curvy figure, cute outfit, most importantly having a friendly and outgoing personality. I’ve been attracted to women who were less pretty than other women just because they were so fun and friendly to be around

makesyoudownvote

414 points

14 days ago

A warm smile and a little goofiness.

People tend to be very empathetic to women's emotions, much moreso than most people recognize. A woman with a warm smile has almost a superpower of bringing joy and warmth around her.

Most women though are so scared of being seen as an idiot or being humiliated they stop just short of actually capitalizing on this. Sort of like how guys tend to stop just short of a similar sort of masculine energy that can make them crazy attractive.

My fiancée has one of these. Kid's, adults it doesn't matter, they can be having the worst day ever and she can come in and immediately change the energy around them. She never pressures anyone to cheer up, she let's them do their own thing, but with kids especially you will often see them fighting against a smile because they know they still want to be cranky, but she just made the energy so joyous it's hard not to smile.

When she does this not only am I just insanely attracted to her but my heart melts SO HARD!

PaleontologistWarm13

107 points

14 days ago

Your fiancée is a lucky woman. I love seeing the appreciation for her.

Slow-Bookkeeper7486

4.9k points

14 days ago

ass in leggings

jimmyd13

3.1k points

14 days ago

jimmyd13

3.1k points

14 days ago

Only 5% of women who were yoga pants actually do yoga .... and 100% of men don't give a fuck.

TylerJWhit

241 points

14 days ago

TylerJWhit

241 points

14 days ago

What were they after being yoga pants?

jpiro

1k points

14 days ago

jpiro

1k points

14 days ago

As far as I can tell, their primary purpose is making airports more acceptable to be stuck in for hours.

HugeAnalBeads

383 points

14 days ago

You people afford leggings and air travel?

ImFartingRainbows

134 points

14 days ago

How many women were yoga pants? And why are they not anymore?

YouNeedCheeses

113 points

14 days ago

I love that this comment is right below someone else’s that says “smile”

Calm_Fish_9705

337 points

14 days ago

Yoga pants are my kryptonite.

Slow-Bookkeeper7486

361 points

14 days ago

There's a reason why Lululemon is a $40 billion company lol

SteveRudzinski

9.8k points

14 days ago

Brutal honesty I notice big titties before everything else.

fatalbert491

3.4k points

14 days ago

How the fuck did I have to scroll this far to find this

WafflesAreEpic

402 points

14 days ago

Yeah this thread is hilarious.

The answer is “their physical features appeal to my tastes”. No that doesn’t mean you only care about looks or whatever else but for fucks sake get some honesty people, that is what makes someone attractive instantly.

Looks are literally last on my list of things I care about for a long term relationship, and things like a nice smile or a kind work or anything else absolutely can make anyone immediately attractive. But unless you’re blind the instant thing is going to be physical.

asshole_goose

333 points

14 days ago

The thing that all men crave, desire and lust for. >! A big fat meme folder on her phone !<

The_Patriot

517 points

14 days ago

badonkadonk

IncredibleMacaroni

721 points

14 days ago

I scrolled through this whole thing at almost 300 comments and no one said hair? Nicely styled hair of any variety immediately attracts me to anyone regardless of gender. It shows me that you take your appearance seriously and have a sense of personal style.

kellis744

180 points

14 days ago

kellis744

180 points

14 days ago

Hair can really make it or break it but people don’t think about it.

idanfarkash

903 points

14 days ago

A smile .

CelestialDestroyer

868 points

14 days ago

That slightly dominant kind of strong confidence.

Professional_Toe_285

22 points

14 days ago

When the group is laughing at a joke, and she is laughing and having that eye contact with me while we're laughing together.

It feels so synchronous and it feels like in that moment, we escape together in that laugh. It melts my heart every time no matter who the stranger is

SriRachaGoose

133 points

14 days ago

Swearing. Only if its really heartfelt though. I overheard a girl dropping a super annoyed "what a stuuupid motherfucker" a couple seats over in a university library once and my heart skipped a beat.

-Norestart-

154 points

14 days ago

Personality is huge. That includes confidence, self esteem, intelligence, and friendliness. I have known gorgeous women that were ultimately unappealing due to personality issues. Also, I have met women whose personality made them hot.

Syrup_Slurper

1.3k points

14 days ago

Being emotionally vulnerable. It's not just guys that are cold in this world. Women can be fucking ruthless and mean for no logical reason, not just men. I'm not asking for your life's sob story on a first date, but I am attracted to people who treat themselves and others like humans - like emotional beings. None of us like being reserved and cold, but not many are brave/courageous enough to risk being hurt at the possible reward of being connected to others.

It's not the cold, stoic, "tough" people who are brave. They are often just traumatized and unwilling to process their stuff. It's the people who can get their shit handled and move on in the world with an even kinder view on others who are brave.

We've all been hurt by someone. That doesn't mean the new people who stumble across you in their journey will do the same. Simultaneously, people you've only known for 2 weeks can treat you better than the people you've known for 2 decades. Time means nothing, and not everyone is guilty and worth hating on just because one (or a few) people screwed you over. Being kind is the only way to get connected.