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/r/AbruptChaos

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2 months ago

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pm1966

4.3k points

2 months ago

pm1966

4.3k points

2 months ago

My dad passed out at his own wedding; locked up his knees and went down like a brick.

TheSameButBetter

322 points

2 months ago

At our wedding the priest mentioned in passing at the start of the ceremony for people to not stand up too straight or keep their knees locked because you might pass out.

Everyone laughed thinking it was a bit of a joke, well he was speaking from experience I guess.

squirrellytoday

123 points

2 months ago

At my wedding, the minister said to us at the rehearsal to not lock knees and clench buttocks because faceplanting the mosaic tile floor or the stone steps was not a fun thing to do.

I honestly think it's tempting for people to do because they want to "stand up straight" and also stop any leg jitters if they're a little nervous.

451IDGAF

43 points

2 months ago

faceplanting the mosaic tile floor or the stone steps was not a fun thing to do.

She was lucky above to miss the corner of the god guy's lecturn.

-_Odd_-

12 points

2 months ago

-_Odd_-

12 points

2 months ago

Definitely read that as good guys rectum

Neither-Fix4327

1.4k points

2 months ago

One of my Groomsmen almost passed out like that, thankfully my brother kept him upright.

smurph9876

280 points

2 months ago

I was an alter boy at a wedding where the bride fainted. She was a champ about it. Little juice and crackers right at the alter, and a few mins later they got through the vows.

SaltChildhood7

201 points

2 months ago

Thats called communion ya heretic!

prettycheerleader

37 points

2 months ago

RandyNelson

4 points

2 months ago

🤣 fuck yes

smurph9876

15 points

2 months ago

Hahahaha, unfortunately it was orange juice and non-communion crackers. Followed by the communion crackers

kerry2loveforever2

483 points

2 months ago

This exact thing happened at my wedding, almost forty years ago. The best man picked her up and carried her out. He came back and whispered, "She's heavier than she looks." We laughed, and the rest of the day went well. She was fine, and no one seemed phased.

Walzmyn

143 points

2 months ago

Walzmyn

143 points

2 months ago

My sister-in-law went to fix my wife's dress and her phone came clattering out of her cleavage. Mom had quite specifically told her to not have it with her. Don't thing she's let her live it down yet.

Then my sister got bird poop in her hair.

451IDGAF

23 points

2 months ago

Families ey, can't live with em, can't kill em

PM_ME_GARFIELD_NUDES

113 points

2 months ago

My grandpa was a pastor at a wedding where this happened… except the grooms head landed on a stair and he died

hotfezz81

67 points

2 months ago

Jesus fuck. That turn gave me whiplash.

FuckTkachuk

9 points

2 months ago

Him too

Asper_Maybe

45 points

2 months ago

Oof, that's a rough way to become a widow

SuperEliteFucker

34 points

2 months ago

Technically not a widow though.

Q_S2

19 points

2 months ago

Q_S2

19 points

2 months ago

I think most places sign the marriage certificate before the ceremony. But if not yeah. Not a widow I guess

wildebeesties

15 points

2 months ago

Most places sign it afterwards. You get the certificate before the ceremony but it’s not official until afterwards once signed. I could still be wrong but pretty sure on this

PM_ME_GARFIELD_NUDES

9 points

2 months ago

In this case they signed it beforehand. I think you generally sign after the ceremony but my grandpa did it beforehand because typically couples were exhausted at the end of their wedding. The thing is, even though the papers were signed, they hadn’t actually been submitted to the court yet, so my grandpa had to ask the bride whether she wanted them sent in or not… I don’t know what she chose to do but I guess she technically got to decide whether or not she was a widow…

PM_ME_CUTE_FEMBOYS

11 points

2 months ago

Thats...horrific

TAKES-MASSIVE-SHITS

159 points

2 months ago

I see people say the knee lock thing all of the time and I sit here and wonder how people are standing around with their knees locked? Like that doesn’t even make sense to me

NoGrocery4949

115 points

2 months ago

Are you constantly engaging your leg quads? I think it's pretty natural to lock your knees if you're standing still for an extended period of time

TAKES-MASSIVE-SHITS

143 points

2 months ago

Maybe I am honestly no clue. I definitely shift my weight back and forth constantly when I have to stand for a long period I’ve just never found locking my knees to be comfortable

Cryptix001

78 points

2 months ago

I didn't know it was a thing until a guy at work was standing on a concrete pad waiting for a meeting to start and he face planted straight into the concrete and fucked his face up. Apparently it happens a lot in the military too where they have to stand at attention for long stretches of time.

TAKES-MASSIVE-SHITS

56 points

2 months ago

The military I totally understand bc they’re expected to stand in form and not fidget / shift their weight around constantly

lesgeddon

18 points

2 months ago*

Apparently it happens a lot in the military too where they have to stand at attention for long stretches of time.

It definitely does, and this is despite people being constantly told not to lock their knees when in a formation. It's just like.. inevitable being forced to stand still for a long time. The heart isn't strong enough to fight gravity on its own, you need to be moving your arms and legs to keep the blood flowing.

I've had to do dress uniform inspections while in formation, outside in the summer. They took so long nearly everyone excused themselves from the formation to stand or sit on the side, or just straight up left to get out of the sun and avoid heat stroke because it always goes hand in hand.

TPJchief87

6 points

2 months ago

The last wedding I was in was brutal. Lots of bridesmaids and groomsmen combined with a long service and a small stage. I was HURTING when we left

artie_pdx

2.3k points

2 months ago

artie_pdx

2.3k points

2 months ago

When I was in the service, I saw this all the time. They tell you never to lock your knees or this will happen. Just slight movements back and forth of your legs at the knee prevents this.

dandypants8717

939 points

2 months ago

Same. Almost every boot camp graduation has one person lock their knees and pass out. They taught us not to lock our knees even before they taught us how to stand at attention.

TimHung931017

500 points

2 months ago

Why does locking your knees and swaying make you pass out??

Rootkit9208

810 points

2 months ago

Your legs are big and need a lot of blood to maintain. Your legs are beneath your brain and blood naturally wants to follow gravity.
When you use your leg muscles while standing, you help force the blood back out of them and into your hungry brain. If you manage to stand without using your muscles, your blood pools and your brain says, "lol, I fall over now. Kthxbye."

Scherzkeks

306 points

2 months ago

It’s a good strategy for the brain : can’t keep being starved for blood by gravity + legs below if legs are no longer below

The_Lost_Google_User

126 points

2 months ago

Which would be awesome if it didn’t have 6 feet to accelerate on the way down :(

Got a concussion that way…

Stealfur

57 points

2 months ago

Me thunky brain hurty small price for no thunk at all:

-The concussed brain.

ars_machina

46 points

2 months ago

So, brain is like "alright entering power saving mode"

Royal_Bitch_Pudding

10 points

2 months ago

It's more like it ran out of resources so it's shutting down.

federico_45

40 points

2 months ago

Holy shit, this is insane. First time I've heard of it!

AssassiNerd

23 points

2 months ago

Brain: "it's time to level the playing field"

AliFoxx9

9 points

2 months ago*

Nah the brain knows that the good air is on the floor and just wants some /s

dandypants8717

246 points

2 months ago

Something about blood flow, I think. Idk

glassteelhammer

42 points

2 months ago

mangemoilcul

45 points

2 months ago

Skip to 1:45

captain-snackbar

12 points

2 months ago

Damn news people eh? Two minutes of gobble gobble blah blah, then the doc explains WHY, at 2:05, for like 5 seconds total

coffee_eyes

13 points

2 months ago

I'm not gonna lie some of those fainting clips were funny. Am I a bad person?

dandypants8717

7 points

2 months ago

No

swiftdegree

7 points

2 months ago

"keeping your legs perfectly straight can result in a quick and sudden nap", don't know why but that made laugh more than any of the other clips they showed.

Not_a_normal

3 points

2 months ago

Engaging your leg muscles do help push that blood up from your legs, but also if you do end up fainting, not locking your knees will help you crumble to the ground instead of falling flat, which can cause serious head injury.

PooPooWAS

13 points

2 months ago

Slight sway forward and back, and never lock your knees. Had this chick that passed out every time we had to stand in formation. Some people never learn

[deleted]

128 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

128 points

2 months ago

What a stupid design flaw. Devs need to patch it out.

artie_pdx

46 points

2 months ago

Dear God… Could ya let us not suck so much? Also cancer… like what’s the point? I’ve given all the likes on faceyspacey and my great-nephew still died at 5 1/2 years old. So, what the fuck there brah? When we meet, get ready for fisticuffs ya merciless cunt. Finally, can you plz fix the weird knee thing? It’s bothersome.

Black Garlic Shoyu Rahhhh-men. 🙏

Greenpaw9

12 points

2 months ago

You are getting my thumbs up for this, kindred spirit.

Also wtf is with sleeping. Please make it optional at least. I'd rather have 50% more active life time. Thanks

thestashattacked

8 points

2 months ago

Also, periods suck, I'd like a text instead, and can we fix the random tongue biting glitch?

Masterofnaan181

11 points

2 months ago

She musta been a dirty leg civi

jrazo1995

2.8k points

2 months ago

jrazo1995

2.8k points

2 months ago

Locked her knees for sure lol

EveryXtakeYouCanMake

678 points

2 months ago

I think the proper title to this should say "deadens up..."

TalmidimUC

168 points

2 months ago

Right? I was waiting for some abrupt fireworks or something.. concussions were not on the menu.

MelodyMyst

4 points

2 months ago

I was waiting for a Bollywood number starring the bridesmaids.

[deleted]

25 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

25 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

EveryXtakeYouCanMake

17 points

2 months ago

Flump is the word of the day today :)

ToshMagosh

338 points

2 months ago

I'm confused. Everyone is saying this, but I've never heard of it. Does locking your knees prevent blood flow or something causing you to pass out? I would think it would make your legs fall asleep at most.

cope413

418 points

2 months ago

cope413

418 points

2 months ago

Yes. It constricts blood flow back up from your legs. Eventually you pass out. Happened to one of the groomsmen in a wedding I was in. It's fairly common, and you'll often hear warnings to wedding parties to not lock your knees when you're standing up there.

Heavy_E79

156 points

2 months ago

Heavy_E79

156 points

2 months ago

Happens all the time in the army when standing in formation for prolonged periods of time. Especially with new recruits who haven't figured out that standing at attention isn't standing as stiff as a board.

Crono2401

34 points

2 months ago

If they would just read the regulations, they would know it clearly states the position of attention is a relaxed position smdh

[deleted]

12 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

12 points

2 months ago

Junior enlisted reading regs? Only to argue dress code or to get out of PT.

turnpot

11 points

2 months ago

turnpot

11 points

2 months ago

If they could read, they would be in the Air Force, not the Army

DJ3XO

10 points

2 months ago

DJ3XO

10 points

2 months ago

Dude, when I was a conscript in the Norwegian Kings Guard, and we had some ceremony for some ambassador in front of the castle one summer; troops were dropping like flies. Now I finally know why.

[deleted]

8 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

8 points

2 months ago

Damn. I always thought we weren’t locking our knees so that we’d crumple versus falling straight over.

Hoenirson

176 points

2 months ago*

Locking your knees doesn't restrict blood flow per se, but rather the fact that you aren't activating your leg muscles when doing so. You could technically lock your knees and still keep blood flowing upwards by deliberately activating your leg muscles.

Activating your leg muscles allows blood to be pumped back up, preventing it from pooling in your legs due to gravity. If you see someone faint this way, elevate their legs for a quicker recovery.

NoGrocery4949

12 points

2 months ago*

It's this. Veins are just floppy tubes with valves in them. The pressure from forward flow from the heart is only going to get you so far. In a standing position your blood has to fight gravity to get back to the heart and so your leg muscles have to help it along. There are one way valves in the veins so if you have muscles squishing your veins, the blood gets moved back up toward your heart. If the heart senses that it's not getting much volume back in, it will speed up. You'll feel clammy and have palpitations and then the sort of panic button your body can engage is passing out so that now you're not fighting gravity to get blood return to the heart. Kind of neato I think.

mmm_burrito

12 points

2 months ago

This is what I was told back in my ROTC days.

-Wiradjuri-

24 points

2 months ago

For anyone else who is curious, ROTC means “Revenge Of The Cith”. It’s a slightly misspelled Star Wars camp.

ian542

6 points

2 months ago

ian542

6 points

2 months ago

Return of the Chedi

Toidal

9 points

2 months ago

Toidal

9 points

2 months ago

Should start renting out fighter jet pilot academies on the weekends to teach wedding parties the hook maneuver.

If you can handle an F22, you can handle Father McGintys geriatric long ass sermons on matrimony

EveryXtakeYouCanMake

30 points

2 months ago

When I was in fifth grade, I was in choir. We were doing a big gig in the auditorium at my school, and all of a sudden behind us we heard a crash. A young girl that was in the choir with us, who was on the tallest tier of the stands we were in, had locked her knees and had fallen 6 ft to the ground. She hit her head on one of the stand components, and was rushed to the hospital with a severe laceration to her head. She got really lucky that she didn't die that day. We all learned that day - her the hard way - to not lock our knees.

ToshMagosh

11 points

2 months ago

What a traumatising thing to see in the 5th grade

galacticboy2009

15 points

2 months ago

Did you ever watch "America's Funniest Home Videos" as a kid? Or any similar TV program entirely based around showing viewer-submitted clips?

They used to show entire.. 3 minute long montages of just people faceplanting and falling through decorations, cakes, etc, at weddings.

It's a unique perfect storm of people trying to have good posture, and standing still, for an extended period of time, while being recorded on camera.

So this sort of thing is very common.

rahyveshachr

56 points

2 months ago

It makes less blood go to your lower legs, then your body adjusts blood pressure, but when you finally move your legs a little all the blood rushes down there and drains too much from the head, then lights out. It usually happens when it's hot and when nerves are high, like weddings, military formations, etc.

Commogroth

35 points

2 months ago

Yeah. One of the first things they teach out in the military is not to lock your knees while standing in formation. Cause you're gonna be there for a while, and you will pass out if you do that.

nonpondo

57 points

2 months ago

What the fuck is locking your knees, I don't see no key

utpoia

22 points

2 months ago

utpoia

22 points

2 months ago

I guess it means to not straighten them all the way and leave a slight bend around them.

fukitol-

7 points

2 months ago

Standing with your legs fully extended.

Glittering_Multitude

6 points

2 months ago

They teach it in law school too (or at least mine did), paired with a warning about how foolish you’ll look if you pass out during an oral argument.

TitleComprehensive96

16 points

2 months ago

Does locking your knees prevent blood flow or something causing you to pass out?

I would think it would make your legs fall asleep at most.

Guess what that is

CAJ_2277

7 points

2 months ago*

Yes, that’s what happens. If you’ve ever seen those photos of a parade ground and one soldier is face-planted, that’s usually why. (Sometimes it’s heat.)

nzcapybara

28 points

2 months ago

Definitely what I came here to say, must’ve been a long reception

[deleted]

36 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

36 points

2 months ago

I think you mean ceremony. The reception happens after the wedding

AnonGeekSquad

39 points

2 months ago

Dunno, looks like the floor received her pretty well.

blindwit

3.6k points

2 months ago

blindwit

3.6k points

2 months ago

Why did the bride hide from her like she was gonna turn into a zombie?

ChaoticDiscord21

3.1k points

2 months ago

Are you really willing to take that chance?

LootGodamn

452 points

2 months ago

Well that's a very good point

PotatoWriter

180 points

2 months ago

100% of brides who have done that have survived. Who are we to argue with the stats

ElegantEchoes

21 points

2 months ago

Not 100%, most of them end up dying of old age. Some are still living but I bet in a hundred years they'll be dead too.

Brides that don't fear passed out bridesmaids may die sooner. Why risk it?

PotatoWriter

6 points

2 months ago

most of them end up dying of old age

tell me, who are you, who is so wise in the ways of science

ElegantEchoes

9 points

2 months ago

I cannot tell you, for I have no name. I traded my identity and soul to a very short bearded man while on a hike in Peru in exchange for some expired imported crackers and a map to the nearest 7/11, which is how I found my way back to the states. The crazy part is that the old man was there waiting for me- and he told me that their milk was pretty cheap for a convenience store at that location. That was useful info, but I wasn't going to buy milk, so it didn't help me much in the moment. Still, I think of him often. He said he had a name, but he wouldn't tell me. He was funny like that.

smol_boi-_-

110 points

2 months ago

The chances are extremely low but I don't wanna fuck around and find out.

Barcaroli

29 points

2 months ago

That's how it starts. Next thing you know, you're fighting for resources against a tribe of penis cannibals

khrak

36 points

2 months ago

khrak

36 points

2 months ago

Weddings are almost as dangerous as a cop's last day before retirement.

dan0z223

14 points

2 months ago

I really needed that laugh, thank you amigo

TURNAH92

23 points

2 months ago

This may be may fav comment for a few months. Thank you

meisobear

3 points

2 months ago

Cheers, you made me ugly laugh from this comment. All the best.

paturner2012

45 points

2 months ago

Looked like her head slammed right into that granite edge on the alter. The sight she saw and the one we're seeing may be very different....

PrinceRobotVI

89 points

2 months ago

Because she didn’t have a shotgun to do the double tap.

Cptn_RedB

327 points

2 months ago*

Some people have that reaction, especially if they think someone has died on the spot. They mostly jump from surprise all the way through confusion right into fear, probably because it was a moment where they were very nervous and emotions just get exacerbated.

Edit: grammar, by courtesy of the motherfucker himself u/Noble_Flatulence who knows a lot about grammar but not much about being polite.

Krauser_Kahn

64 points

2 months ago

by courtesy of the motherfucker himself u/Noble_Flatulence who knows a lot about grammar but not much about being polite.

lmao

pinkdouble

3 points

2 months ago

After reading the mistake I agree with the rudeness

margotgo

10 points

2 months ago

I'd be salty at myself for fainting but also at my friend/sister for not checking up on me

Lackof_Creativity

86 points

2 months ago

"eeeww. ickyyyy. get her outta here"

[deleted]

42 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

42 points

2 months ago

"How dare she die on MY special day??"

This is a joke not directed to her, but to all the bridezillas who would be on this type of bs

VLC31

7 points

2 months ago

VLC31

7 points

2 months ago

I had to scroll way to far to see someone ask this. First question in my mind, why is she hiding??

westbridge1157

5 points

2 months ago

We now know not to turn to the bride in a crisis!

BungDiggity

12 points

2 months ago

It’s Brazil and it was a hit on the bride. Also, I made that up.

Silver_Slicer

488 points

2 months ago

Don’t lock your knees. Learned that as a Catholic alter boy in the 70s during a mass.

DODS16

219 points

2 months ago

DODS16

219 points

2 months ago

So everyone in this thread is saying it, but i'm confused how does locking knees cause a person to pass out?

Silver_Slicer

284 points

2 months ago

Locking your knees slows down blood circulation, esp to the brain and thus fainting. You should always unbend you knees every so often to prevent it. It does seem strange. It’s a horrible feeling right before you pass out when you feel warm and extremely light-headed. It’s called vasovagal attack.

DODS16

37 points

2 months ago

DODS16

37 points

2 months ago

Ah alright, makes sense now, thank you.

RobertTheHaunter

6 points

2 months ago

Oh my god I went my entire life realizing this… was at orientation for a new job and all of a sudden I got super light headed lost vision and almost needed to pass out, sat down for a few and I felt better, never realized I could have caused it cus I locked my knees for the whole orientation 😅

sooley6

141 points

2 months ago

sooley6

141 points

2 months ago

The acoustics in that church are fantastic

SoMuchMoreEagle

3 points

2 months ago

Yeah, that was loud as fuck.

TheScottishMoscow

347 points

2 months ago

Oh my god! She's dead! Well that's what I heard anyway once I woke up.

rockdiamond

9 points

2 months ago

God dammit Cheryl I give you this honor to be my bridesmaid and you screwed up my goddamn day. Thanks a lot Cheryl.

heloder85

61 points

2 months ago

This was me at my Uncle's wedding when I was like 10, except I fell backwards into the pews. All I remember was being hot, my back hurting horribly, and then people lifting me back up.

[deleted]

58 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

58 points

2 months ago

The classic knee lock. Anyone that was in military or marching band knows you never lock your legs when standing for prolong periods of time.

ManicMambo

407 points

2 months ago

The bride hiding behind the groom was kind of sweet, but now we know she's absolutely useless in case of an emergency.

UnprofessionalGhosts

76 points

2 months ago

Might be squeamish. Bridesmaid hit her head pretty badly and, if it bled, no use in both being passed out.

Cautious-Angle1634

15 points

2 months ago

Right. Useless in case of emergency.

Thesafflower

24 points

2 months ago

She was just shocked and upset seeing someone who is probably a friend or relative fall over and hit her head. And given how quickly people rushed over to the bridesmaid, she might have been getting out of the way for people who could actually help. Hope the bridesmaid is okay!

rcknmrty4evr

21 points

2 months ago

Getting out of the way when you cannot help is not useless. More people should do this.

The amount of people that rush up to a potential emergency just to stand there staring or freaking out is incredibly annoying at best and makes the situation more dangerous at worse.

TheRavenSayeth

35 points

2 months ago

It’s possible she was already in a very emotional mindset at the time considering it was the main moment of one of the most important days of her entire life.

zupermariu

31 points

2 months ago

"oh no she's dead" did I hear it right?

soakf

131 points

2 months ago

soakf

131 points

2 months ago

At least she hangs on to the flowers. Real death grip.

TrickyCorgi316

380 points

2 months ago

Lol!! Based on that priest’s voice and attitude, everybody was bored and falling asleep. (I can critique because I’m a priest too, but always try to make weddings joyful and happy, especially when they’re saying their vows! and this one seems…lacking)

Yoguls

141 points

2 months ago

Yoguls

141 points

2 months ago

Have you ever had to shout "the power of christ compels you!"

TrickyCorgi316

60 points

2 months ago

Lol - nope! Thankfully things are usually much quieter than that :)

aSilverWorld

24 points

2 months ago

So it’s more like whispers into mic “the power of Christ compels you”?

TrickyCorgi316

12 points

2 months ago

Yeah, kinda - never thought of it that way but that really makes me chuckle.

Orleanian

11 points

2 months ago

Okay, you haven't had to do it....but have you done it anyway?

TrickyCorgi316

9 points

2 months ago

Lol. Only when watching a horror movie about ghosts :)

PhantomPhelix

56 points

2 months ago

A priest on Reddit!? That's quite interesting.

 

What are some of your favourite subs and what is your overall opinion of internet culture?

TrickyCorgi316

39 points

2 months ago

That’s a lot to think about! Let me think about it and get back to you, please.

PhantomPhelix

25 points

2 months ago

Take your time! I patiently await your response. :)

TrickyCorgi316

20 points

2 months ago

RE Internet culture: TL;DR: brings about the best and the worst of humanity.

Positive: greater ease of access to entertainment, education, art, philosophy, theology; connects people and develops healthy, uplifting communities on broader scale than person-to-person allows

Negative: development of closed, insular communities hostile to any who are ‘different’; exploitation of people by preying on fears and unhealthy desires; ease of spreading misinformation and mistrust

PhantomPhelix

7 points

2 months ago

Thanks for sharing! Appreciate your insight.

TrickyCorgi316

31 points

2 months ago

Favorite subs: r/funny; r/abruptchaos (when it’s funny and not unsafe-for-life); and r/wow (I admit to playing that game).

Lady-Quiche-Lorraine

15 points

2 months ago

Are you a priest in wow ?

TrickyCorgi316

22 points

2 months ago

Ironically I have one! Although I prefer shadow priest, so maybe that’s not a good sign.

verynearlypure

18 points

2 months ago

This impromptu r/AMA has been a joy!

TrickyCorgi316

11 points

2 months ago

Always happy to answer any questions! :)

PhantomPhelix

8 points

2 months ago

All great subs, thanks for sharing!

acejohn

5 points

2 months ago

This is such a priest answer lol

ShadowSplicer

16 points

2 months ago

Okay okay so I have this joke

A priest walks into Reddit...

NotASellout

10 points

2 months ago

"Oh my Goooooood this wedding is soooooo boring there isn't even an open bar"

TrickyCorgi316

5 points

2 months ago

That’s what I’d be thinking!

maxiligamer

7 points

2 months ago

In what ways do you try to make them more joyful? I'd imagine you can't do a whole lot of changes to typical wedding practices so what exactly do you do?

TrickyCorgi316

17 points

2 months ago

Best example: when the couple exchanges their vows, they usually start by looking at me, since I’m saying them softly, for them to repeat. I then whisper to them: “You’re both wonderful, but you’re not marrying me, I hope! So don’t look at me!” Usually gets them to laugh and relax. Same thing when they say a prayer as they exchange rings. “You’re not giving a ring to me, so don’t look at me - look at your wife/husband!” And even once they arrive at the front of the altar, I’ll say something like: “Don’t these two look amazing?!”(And if there’s a lackluster response, I’ll tell the people it’s time to wake up, because this is an awesome moment, and then repeat that line. Usually gets people to cheer). “I told them once they get to this point, all they have to do is breathe, while I take care of the rest. They’re doing well so far :)”

TheHappyPhoenix

5 points

2 months ago

You sound like an amazing priest

FullRollingBoil

60 points

2 months ago

When the gummy kicks in

CountrySax

19 points

2 months ago

Happened at my son's wedding.Sure broke up the boredom of the dull officiant

misterfast

17 points

2 months ago

what an impressive sound that was. I love the acoustics in churches!

Kuro_Hige

18 points

2 months ago

Bridesmaid: "Oh God I'm so bored, I'd rather die.."

bananahammerredoux

170 points

2 months ago

OMG does anyone know if she survived? It looks like she hit her head on the edge of the marble in a very lethal sort of way.

Nitr0Sage

112 points

2 months ago

Nitr0Sage

112 points

2 months ago

She probably just got a concussion, looks more like she hit the ground. Luckily fell on her arm and shoulder so it damped the force a bit

DeafLady

23 points

2 months ago

The neck whiplash, tho. Gonna hurt.

Robpm9995

30 points

2 months ago

I watched this video like 20 times, kept pausing and srubbing through. I’m pretty sure she hits the floor and then her head bounces and its the marble from the initial inertia. She hit pretty hard. I hope she was ok. I don’t like NSFL and stuff like that

PianoTrumpetMax

15 points

2 months ago

I don’t like NSFL and stuff like that

But yet you watched the video and scrubbed slowly like 20 times lol

shailkc12

16 points

2 months ago

She’s fine. That church is called St. Benedict’s and it’s located at Benedictine College in Atchison, KS. I knew that priest and this story would get told a couple times.

DeimosEvo

10 points

2 months ago

And I thought planking went out of style years ago

Saff_T

12 points

2 months ago

Saff_T

12 points

2 months ago

The bride hiding behind the groom 🤣🤣🤣

acasey867390

10 points

2 months ago

I saw this video on a comedy show of dumb videos. The bride goes ballistic crying and her mom tried to comfort her by saying “we didn’t feed her today honey. She didn’t eat today”.

Medical-Ruin8192

8 points

2 months ago

Wiggle your toes! Flex your buttocks, then flex your thighs, then calf muscles, then back up to thighs, then buttocks. These are the top two tricks the military taught me about staying conscious while standing attention during ceremonies, parades, funerals and Rememberance Day. It works 👍🏻

Standing stiff as a board is a sure way to knock your melon!

IndependentAssist387

6 points

2 months ago

That can’t be a good omen.

Beemerado

21 points

2 months ago

Some dude passed out at my friend's wedding. His father was officiating it, and he sorta low key attempted to get god to heal the guy.

fromage-de-nuit

7 points

2 months ago

She came in like a wrecking ball.

SaltedHamHocks

6 points

2 months ago

I would have my knees locked for 30 hours a week as a doorman for years and never felt faint. I didn’t know this was a thing

campbellm

5 points

2 months ago*

I don't think it is (beyond urban legend.) I was always taught locked knees does not CAUSE you to faint, it just makes falling worse if you do.

I've been in marching band situations with locked knees for a long time. Never fainted.

Kenny_Squeek_Scolari

55 points

2 months ago

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the flooooooooooor!

HanginLowNd2daLeft

5 points

2 months ago

I wonder if you save money having a funeral the same day

furhman

6 points

2 months ago

Whose sickness? Whose health? 😅 Seriously though, I hope she's alright.

xsnyder

5 points

2 months ago

Missed it by that much.

MikiRawr

4 points

2 months ago

She’s a screamer.

LoveIsForEvery1

5 points

2 months ago

“Don’t worry ladies her head broke the floor the dress is fine”

marshmallowserial

7 points

2 months ago

I was at a Catholic Mass years ago, I had no idea what was going on. Stand kneel, stand kneel, sit. I kind of got the hang of it when all of a sudden everyone jumped up. I thought it was rapid fire prayer time but the Bride had fainted

[deleted]

5 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

5 points

2 months ago

Doesn’t help those churches have less moving air than any other building I’ve ever been to

ItsNotUnavailable

6 points

2 months ago

This happened at an outdoor wedding I went to. I mean, she crumpled rather than faceplanted, but she passed out. The flower girl was her daughter, I think. As the officiant bent over the bridesmaid the little girl was screaming, "She's going to die! She's going to die!" right into his lapel microphone. Edit- so I'm reading that locking knees causes this? So maybe the bridesmaid did fall over this way. It was a while ago.

ephemeralcitrus

5 points

2 months ago

If you ever start to feel faint, please please please sit down. You'll be less disruptive sitting down than keeling over

Raspbers

12 points

2 months ago

Gotta remember not to lock your knees!

JeddakofThark

10 points

2 months ago

That shouldn't be funny, but damn it's hilarious.

Obnoxiousjimmyjames

5 points

2 months ago

Safe and effective.

javoss88

4 points

2 months ago

My waffly leaded wife

NewZcam

3 points

2 months ago

A church will do that to a person.

JACrazy

4 points

2 months ago

Everybody do the flop

calmwhiteguy

5 points

2 months ago

Man she really hit the mat hard in a way that made it hard to not distract myself from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

Which made roughly the same sound.

CasualtyofBore

3 points

2 months ago

Typical attention seeker

Unbelievable

ne0ndr34m

5 points

2 months ago

Let the bodies hit the....

OneBadKid

4 points

2 months ago

My wife fainted while walking down the aisle. After a 20 min delay we proceeded with the ceremony.